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I think it is because bad boys are easier to dump, and they may feel less guilty, afterward.
I got as far as this before I just hit my talking-reality-with-Gathomas limit.
Gathomas, you are aware we are a profoundly social, communal species and always have been, aren't you? And that we generally existed in rather small numbers?
It has NEVER been to the benefit of human evolution to be a hyper-aggressive asshole. That kind of crap got you kicked out of a tribe. And this runs right through some of our closer primate relatives too. Even bonobos will shun a rapist or an otherwise violent jerk, for example.
I know in your head you like to imagine manly men wrestling saber tooth cats barehanded and ordering around the starry-eyed wimmenz, but humans are not a caveman comic strip from the 1950's. In reality, we stayed the hell away from the big carnivores no matter how big our testicles were, and humans survived by profound cooperation because that's how you make a big brain count -- especially when you're slow and weak on your own.
Ok, my brain hemorrhage limit must be low today. I'm out.
Even bonobos? Really? View attachment 67164992
You realize that bonobos are an exception to basically every rule concerning primate behavior we're aware of, right?
Chimpanzees are aggressive as Hell, and function more or less exactly along the lines of what I have described. Males among their number fight, rape, hunt, and even make war with one another.
Spare me the "noble savage" hogwash.
Which is why neolithic hunter gatherers made their huts out of mammoth bones, right? :roll:
Saint complex. That's perfect. :lol: I'm going to have to use that one.
There are some dudes out there who take their romantic tragedy to heroic levels, like an Irish Catholic Priest who wants tales and songs to be written about him because he chooses to be slain unarmed by the pagan Viking barbarians.
Huge tribe. Of cooperating people. Hunting an herbivore. Dude. Are you blind?
:2brickwal
You're paying my medical bill.
Why are moody pricks who may or may not thrash on their ladies so popular with the ladies? I have never understood it. Have any of you? Why are moody jerks attractive to the ladies? Answers please.
There are some dudes out there who take their romantic tragedy to heroic levels, like an Irish Catholic Priest who wants tales and songs to be written about him because he chooses to be slain unarmed by the pagan Viking barbarians.
Ummm... Wut?
I think the most desired traits are: being interesting and someone who makes you feel good about yourself.
Why are moody pricks who may or may not thrash on their ladies so popular with the ladies? I have never understood it. Have any of you? Why are moody jerks attractive to the ladies? Answers please.
Higher sense of self combined with woe is me. The rest was an actual incident involving an Irish priest with dreams of being labeled a Saint. Became more of a footnote and an amusing anecdote instead.
My impression is that's not entirely true.
Ladies want self-conscious men. It's perfectly fine when they're nice and no pricks, as long as they have self-consciousness and are secure.
The number of jerks just happens to be higher among self-conscious men.
That might not be the phrase you're looking for here. :lol:
I was unaware of that story. Do you have a link?
Sorry, the language barrier.
What's the appropriate term for a guy who's secure, decisive and content with himself as he is? "Self-aware"?
"Self-confident" is probably the word you're looking for there. "Self-awareness" is a virtue as well, but generally not one women are known for flocking towards.
"Self-consciousness" denotes that a person is awkward and uncomfortable in social situations.
For obvious reasons, an attribute like that generally tends to repel women, rather than attract them. :lol:
Thanks for clearing that up! Never too late to learn more!
So, what I wanted to say is that in my impression, it's rather self-confidence that appeals to woman than being a "bad boy". It's just that the number of "bad boys" is higher among self-confident guys.
Thanks for clearing that up! Never too late to learn more!
So, what I wanted to say is that in my impression, it's rather self-confidence that appeals to woman than being a "bad boy". It's just that the number of "bad boys" is higher among self-confident guys.
Does your intellectual model comport with reality? Can we observe that this is really what women are seeking when they reject "nice guys" and instead choose "bad boys?" Bad boys make women feel good about themselves? Really?
I covered several points - mainly these:
1) People who think they are (or who other people think of as) nice guys might not be nice guys.
2) People who think they are (or who other people think of as) bad guys might not be bad bad guys.
^ That's all I said in regard to good-guy / bad-guy.
_____
Then came this next point which is about attraction and relationships in general:
"I think the most desired traits are: being interesting and someone who makes you feel good about yourself."
People tend to be drawn to other people who make them feel good about their selves. This, here, has absolutely nothing to do with whether someone is a 'good guy' or a 'bad guy' - this has to do with how person A treats the person B and makes person B feel.
If you do not agree with that point then you are you saying that people are drawn to people who make them feel bad about their selves? (And this is not true at all. Very few people are attracted to someone when that person makes them feel bad about their self)
_____
This next part relates to your point: Can a 'bad guy' make someone 'feel good'.
Yes - yes they can. Why can't they? Why not? Why can't a girl be head over heels for a 'bad guy' and he make her feel really good about herself? (Why? Because he robbed a liquor store? Because he and his granny don't get along? Is that the way he treats his girlfriend? It might not be. Maybe she's his angel and he worships the ground she walks on)
Example: the movie Natural Born Killers.
Both Mickey and Mallory Knox are bad people.
Yes.
Very bad.
But they make each other feel good.
Mainly, in the beginning of their relationship, Mickey makes Mallory feel good even though he is the bad boy.
We think of him as a bad boy. She does not think of him as a bad boy - he is her nice guy because he saves her from a ****ty life.
It's all relative and it depends on what is considered 'nice guy / bad guy' and who is drawing the conclusion, what their personal view is.
Thanks for clearing that up! Never too late to learn more!
So, what I wanted to say is that in my impression, it's rather self-confidence that appeals to woman than being a "bad boy". It's just that the number of "bad boys" is higher among self-confident guys.
"Self-confident" is probably the word you're looking for there. "Self-awareness" is a virtue as well, but generally not one women are known for flocking towards.
"Self-consciousness" denotes that a person is awkward and uncomfortable in social situations.
For obvious reasons, an attribute like that generally tends to repel women, rather than attract them. :lol:
I'm attracted to the self-conscious, because I identify with them. :lol:
I'm attracted to the self-conscious, because I identify with them.