Why are so many girls attracted to bad boys.

[Goshin]

You're not alone... I know many girls in my environment who are into "complicated" guys (which maybe is a mix of self-consciousness, yet being "interesting"?). And that's often just as fatal as being into "bad boys" ...

And I also don't think that physical dominance is that important. Now of course, there is a number of women who is into that kind of thing, but in my environment, the macho-bodybuilder type is rather ridiculed by many women, while the slightly androgynous, hipster-indie-rock type of guy is all the rage.

Stick around; what's hot and what's not varies between places and cultures, and changes over time.... and then changes back again. Also varies with age.

 

[ChrisL]

You're not alone... I know many girls in my environment who are into "complicated" guys (which maybe is a mix of self-consciousness, yet being "interesting"?). And that's often just as fatal as being into "bad boys" ...

And I also don't think that physical dominance is that important. Now of course, there is a number of women who is into that kind of thing, but in my environment, the macho-bodybuilder type is rather ridiculed by many women, while the slightly androgynous, hipster-indie-rock type of guy is all the rage.

I think I would prefer something in the middle. :lol: I'm not really into the Arnold Schwarzennager (spelling?) look, but I'm also not into the Justin Bieber look.

 

[Goshin]

I think I would prefer something in the middle. :lol: I'm not really into the Arnold Schwarzennager (spelling?) look, but I'm also not into the Justin Bieber look.

I think hardly any woman is, with a mental age over 16. :mrgreen:

 

[lizzie]

And I also don't think that physical dominance is that important. Now of course, there is a number of women who is into that kind of thing, but in my environment, the macho-bodybuilder type is rather ridiculed by many women, while the slightly androgynous, hipster-indie-rock type of guy is all the rage.

I think that most women (at least in my age group) like a happy medium and some balance. All brawn and no brain is a turn-off, and all bad-ass and no heart is as well. In my experience, you will rarely find a brainy man who is all machismo, and it's even more difficult to find an artistic man who is. If you value intellect and emotional capability, then you're usually going to be attracted to more sensitive types. If all you're going for is sexuality, then macho is probably more likely to be what you are attracted to.

 

[ChrisL]

I think hardly any woman is, with a mental age over 16. :mrgreen:

That's the only person I could think of that kind of matches this description, except for maybe the terms "rock" and "guy." :2razz:

slightly androgynous, hipster-indie-rock type of guy

 

[Slyhunter]

Stick around; what's hot and what's not varies between places and cultures, and changes over time.... and then changes back again. Also varies with age.

Try Cambodia, big, tall, fat, is special there. Lean, athletic builds are common there.

 

[Slyhunter]

Girls are typically morons. I actually had one tell me point blank, she gets her one a day from her mate. I said look me up when he misses a day. The guy's an asshole but I guess as long as he porks her she's happy. Now, years later she's probably a welfare mama.

 

[vesper]

I want it all. And I got it. He isn't all brawn but he is very smart. He knows how to do things in a way that doesn't require much brawn. For example, my hubby single-handed moved a very heavy antique bedroom set made of walnut from an upstairs bedroom through a hallway, a stairwell of 13 stairs, and two more hallways with sharp corners to a garage involving steps. He did a few mathematical equations, then put it into motion. The only devices he used were a rope, throw rugs, and a small dolly. When we moved into this house 20 some years ago, two brawny men got stuck on the stairwell trying to get the same bedroom set upstairs. They both broke out in a sweat struggling to make it up the steps. I was in awe at hubby's accomplishment and just wished I would have videotaped the whole thing because it would have been a fantastic tool for every physics student to learn.

 

[RiverDad]

And I also don't think that physical dominance is that important. Now of course, there is a number of women who is into that kind of thing, but in my environment, the macho-bodybuilder type is rather ridiculed by many women, while the slightly androgynous, hipster-indie-rock type of guy is all the rage.

When I spoke of dominance upthread, I didn't particularly mean physical dominance. A man who dominates others, who is respected, whose presence in a room gets people's attention, this guy dominates, in an admirable way rather than in an off-putting way, the social interactions he engages in. This is appealing to women. Think of the opposite type of man, the milquetoast who women see through as though he doesn't even walk on the face of the earth.

 

[Goshin]

When I spoke of dominance upthread, I didn't particularly mean physical dominance. A man who dominates others, who is respected, whose presence in a room gets people's attention, this guy dominates, in an admirable way rather than in an off-putting way, the social interactions he engages in. This is appealing to women. Think of the opposite type of man, the milquetoast who women see through as though he doesn't even walk on the face of the earth.

Well-said. Dominance is often portrayed negatively, but in reality the truly dominant male simply is what he is, and is dominant because of the respect and attention he generates among others as a function of his personality and character. It isn't (or at least doesn't have to be) anything to do with acting like a selfish jerk or bully.

 

[Gathomas88]

Well-said. Dominance is often portrayed negatively, but in reality the truly dominant male simply is what he is, and is dominant because of the respect and attention he generates among others as a function of his personality and character. It isn't (or at least doesn't have to be) anything to do with acting like a selfish jerk or bully.

I honestly think that the kind of behavior you describe above is a case of the "power corrupts" principle more than anything else. A physically powerful man, and especially a young physically powerful man at that, has a lot of leeway in how he throws his weight around. Human beings being what they are, some of them will inevitably abuse that power by trying to cow other men into physical submission so that they might make themselves look better by way of comparison.

Most men (if they even go through this phase at all) eventually grow out of it. Some, unfortunately, due to either personal defect or some other factor, do not.

 

[ChrisL]

When I spoke of dominance upthread, I didn't particularly mean physical dominance. A man who dominates others, who is respected, whose presence in a room gets people's attention, this guy dominates, in an admirable way rather than in an off-putting way, the social interactions he engages in. This is appealing to women. Think of the opposite type of man, the milquetoast who women see through as though he doesn't even walk on the face of the earth.

And then there are those who absolutely DO come across as dominant jerks. :mrgreen:

 

[lizzie]

A man who dominates others, who is respected, whose presence in a room gets people's attention, this guy dominates, in an admirable way rather than in an off-putting way, the social interactions he engages in. This is appealing to women. Think of the opposite type of man, the milquetoast who women see through as though he doesn't even walk on the face of the earth.

I was married to one for many years. It is appealing to women, and if he hadn't been so trustworthy, just about any woman who knew him would gladly have snatched him away. Any woman who becomes involved with a man like that, needs to be a woman who can also develop a strong personality, because if she is not capable of doing so, she will fade into his shadow, never to be seen again. :lol:

 

[RiverDad]

I honestly think that kind of behavior is a case of the "power corrupts" principle more than anything else. A physically powerful man, and especially a young physically powerful man at that, has a lot of leeway in how he throws his weight around. Human beings being what they are, some of them will inevitably abuse that power by trying to cow other men into physical submission so that they might make themselves look better by way of comparison.

Most men (if they even go through this phase at all) eventually grow out of it. Some, unfortunately, due to either personal defect or some other factor, do not.

Cops are a good population to use as a case study. When they're dealing with a speeding driver and walking up to the window, they have to instantly command a level of respect in order for that interaction to proceed effectively. The badge and uniform only buys them surface respect. The weak cops rely on this institutional authority and it just seems to rub many drivers the wrong way. The strong cops show their dominance in their demeanor. The do actually get drivers to comply, to respect their authority, and these cops are playing by the book, not abusing their authority, but there is something about the way they carry themselves or express their training which works to the benefit of the cop and the driver.

No one is served if the cop is a milquetoast and the same if the cop is a bully. The good middle ground is a cop who has the personality which dominates an interaction. This is far easier to achieve with male cops than female cops. I put most female cops into the territory of having to rely on institutional authority to get control of the situations they find themselves in "You have to respect me because I'm a cop and I have a gun."

 

[ecofarm]

Any woman who becomes involved with a man like that, needs to be a woman who can also develop a strong personality, because if she is not capable of doing so, she will fade into his shadow, never to be seen again. :lol:

He said "Delores, I live in fear. My love for you is so overpowering I'm afraid that I will disappear." -Paul Simon, Slip Sliding

 

[Goshin]

Cops are a good population to use as a case study. When they're dealing with a speeding driver and walking up to the window, they have to instantly command a level of respect in order for that interaction to proceed effectively. The badge and uniform only buys them surface respect. The weak cops rely on this institutional authority and it just seems to rub many drivers the wrong way. The strong cops show their dominance in their demeanor. The do actually get drivers to comply, to respect their authority, and these cops are playing by the book, not abusing their authority, but there is something about the way they carry themselves or express their training which works to the benefit of the cop and the driver.

No one is served if the cop is a milquetoast and the same if the cop is a bully. The good middle ground is a cop who has the personality which dominates an interaction. This is far easier to achieve with male cops than female cops. I put most female cops into the territory of having to rely on institutional authority to get control of the situations they find themselves in "You have to respect me because I'm a cop and I have a gun."

A related matter is courtesy, and respect for boundaries.

Weak persons often mistake rudeness for strength; the truly strong are often very polite, because they know it costs them nothing and often produces a good return.

A man who understands men knows that he can dominate the situation with another man, but that it is essential that he leave the other man with some dignity. Break that boundary and you're not merely pushing externally, but internally... you're attacking his self-image and self-esteem, and even if he knows he is outmatched he may still escalate in order to try to salvage some shred of his lost dignity. Treating someone as if they were beneath your contempt may provoke them beyond their endurance or sense of self-interest.

 

[Buck Ewer]

Why are so many girls attracted to bad boys?

I haven't the slightest ****ing idea.

 

[lizzie]

Why are so many girls attracted to bad boys?
View attachment 67165004
I haven't the slightest ****ing idea.

Well, if you'd read the thread, you might get an idea or two.

 

[RiverDad]

A related matter is courtesy, and respect for boundaries.

Weak persons often mistake rudeness for strength; the truly strong are often very polite, because they know it costs them nothing and often produces a good return.

A man who understands men knows that he can dominate the situation with another man, but that it is essential that he leave the other man with some dignity. Break that boundary and you're not merely pushing externally, but internally... you're attacking his self-image and self-esteem, and even if he knows he is outmatched he may still escalate in order to try to salvage some shred of his lost dignity. Treating someone as if they were beneath your contempt may provoke them beyond their endurance or sense of self-interest.

There is truth to what you write but then there is also this, which I like to adopt when I argue with our resident liberals:

 

[danielpalos]

I usually know how seriously to take women by how often they let me miss my turn.

 

[Gardener]

I don't think the bolded is truly the case. I think that many of the "bad boys" may appear to be self-confident in certain mannerisms, but I think it's really just a façade to cover up an actual lack of self-esteem.

Not to mention the denial of that which they fear in themselves.

At least the introspective types are capableof looking within and facing it square-on.

 

[James D Hill]

A related matter is courtesy, and respect for boundaries.

Weak persons often mistake rudeness for strength; the truly strong are often very polite, because they know it costs them nothing and often produces a good return.

A man who understands men knows that he can dominate the situation with another man, but that it is essential that he leave the other man with some dignity. Break that boundary and you're not merely pushing externally, but internally... you're attacking his self-image and self-esteem, and even if he knows he is outmatched he may still escalate in order to try to salvage some shred of his lost dignity. Treating someone as if they were beneath your contempt may provoke them beyond their endurance or sense of self-interest.

I have always had great physical strength so I was even polite to those who disliked me. Sometime it turned them into friends without reminding them I could smash their face in if I chose.

 

[Goshin]

I have always had great physical strength so I was even polite to those who disliked me. Sometime it turned them into friends without reminding them I could smash their face in if I chose.

Physical strength is always useful, but it is just one factor in the equation, and not the kind of strength I was really talking about.

 

[danielpalos]

I still think it is because bad boyz are easier to pump and dump.

 

[Ocean007]

Why are moody pricks who may or may not thrash on their ladies so popular with the ladies? I have never understood it. Have any of you? Why are moody jerks attractive to the ladies? Answers please.

"Moody jerks" may be attractive to some women, the reason why is beyond me. But they aren't in any way attractive to me; in fact I consider them to be utter losers. If I ever got stuck with such a guy on a first date, I wouldn't ever go for a second one.