Sexless friendship marriage

[<alt>doxygen]

Marriage for love is not a global constant. I know Indians that still had or will have their parents choose their spouses.

I see pros and cons to different types of marriages but IMO, NONE will work unless BOTH participants go in with the same expectations (and then stick to them or agree to the changes).

LOL, I've had 4 friends/coworkers make the 2 week pilgrimage to India and return with a wife. "Arranged" all the way.

 

[Goshin]

But what is the need for marriage then?

I must have been unclear, sorry.

I still believe in and advocate traditional marriage, with sex and hopefully children, as an ideal.

I think it is a good idea to marry someone you can also enjoy things-other-than-sex with, since you can't spend all your time in the sack and over time the importance of the sex part tends to wane somewhat. Reference the old beans-in-jar-you-never-can-empty-again joke.

 

[Lursa]

I must have been unclear, sorry.

I still believe in and advocate traditional marriage, with sex and hopefully children, as an ideal.

I think it is a good idea to marry someone you can also enjoy things-other-than-sex with, since you can't spend all your time in the sack and over time the importance of the sex part tends to wane somewhat. Reference the old beans-in-jar-you-never-can-empty-again joke.

I wasnt questioning you, it was a general statement, sorry!

Why do they bother getting married, what's the point?

 

[Winchester]

Not sure what this has to do with Trump but its the only article I could find about this, sorry

Tiffany Trump's friends just entered a sexless marriage, which isn't a terrible idea - AOL Lifestyle



2 things:

1. its stupid , i dont see the point.

2. I heard this on a local radio station. Its a top 40 station out of Austin with 3 young liberal hosts. I know from listening to them for a while that they all definitely support gay marriage. When they started talking about this all 3 of them said it was wrong, it made a mockery of marriage and went against tradition. I couldnt stop laughing at the irony.

:lol: I wonder if the people they are/were dating knew about the wedding beforehand. I can just see it, hi hun, btw got married this weekend in Vegas to my "soulmate", wanna ****?

 

[Checkerboard Strangler]

LOL, I've had 4 friends/coworkers make the 2 week pilgrimage to India and return with a wife. "Arranged" all the way.

I had a friend who did the same thing, (went to India) arranged marriage and all, but you can bet they were ****ing like bunnies once the initial adjustment period (about two days if I remember correctly) was over.
That was twenty years ago, they're still together, seems like they're still VERY happy.

Another couple I know, very orthodox Jewish, were "match-makered" but they insist that's not the same as an arranged marriage. Yeah okay...I dunno, sure seems that way to me. They too are still together but I think the moaning and groaning stopped about ten years ago, and they've been married for twenty. Their health isn't the greatest, so that might be why.

But I don't understand why two independently wealthy (or financially secure) people of a certain age and attractiveness would marry but forego both children AND physical intimacy, it doesn't make any sense to me either.
As another poster put it quite brilliantly: EPIC FRIENDZONING!

While I don't think I ever would have gone with an arranged marriage, I will say this much, I probably should have sought the advice of my parents on my first marriage.
I was young, stupid, lonely and she actually was quite phenomenal as far as intelligence and beauty go, but ALL wrong for me, in almost every way. We held it together for eight years and by the fifth it was going downhill, and it exploded quite dramatically and we both did a lot of damage, to each other, and to our loved ones.
Thankfully no kids!

 

[Goshin]

I wasnt questioning you, it was a general statement, sorry!

Why do they bother getting married, what's the point?

I don't really know. Perhaps for the publicity and the big party, people do things for very shallow reasons sometimes.

But agreed, it seems rather pointless. Get friendship rings or Mitzpah coins or something.

 

[Real Korimyr #9]

You people know you can **** anyone you want without getting married? Not really understanding the argument that a sexless marriage is pointless, when sex isn't the point in the first place.

Survivorship of property and automatic recognition of next of kin are both valid reasons you might want to marry someone.

 

[Lursa]

I don't really know. Perhaps for the publicity and the big party, people do things for very shallow reasons sometimes.

But agreed, it seems rather pointless. Get friendship rings or Mitzpah coins or something.

We lived together for 13 years...out of love and lust, lol...but never felt the need to marry. We had decided not to have kids, so it didnt seem necessary.

The only time we considered it was when we were looking into buying a house...financially it was alot less complicated if we were married.

 

[Lursa]

You people know you can **** anyone you want without getting married? Not really understanding the argument that a sexless marriage is pointless, when sex isn't the point in the first place.

Survivorship of property and automatic recognition of next of kin are both valid reasons you might want to marry someone.

Totally agree, yet those things werent even remotely implied in the OP either.

So I'm still at a loss why they wanted to marry.

 

[sangha]

Not sure what this has to do with Trump but its the only article I could find about this, sorry

Tiffany Trump's friends just entered a sexless marriage, which isn't a terrible idea - AOL Lifestyle



2 things:

1. its stupid , i dont see the point.

2. I heard this on a local radio station. Its a top 40 station out of Austin with 3 young liberal hosts. I know from listening to them for a while that they all definitely support gay marriage. When they started talking about this all 3 of them said it was wrong, it made a mockery of marriage and went against tradition. I couldnt stop laughing at the irony.

Nothing new here

Many people are in sexless marriages and have "arrangements" with their spouses. In fact, marrying for reasons other than love and sex is the more traditional type of marriage

 

[maquiscat]

I didnt read the article. Does it say why they felt the need to legally marry? What's the point?

The point is simple. The legal benefits of establishing a single stable household. They are planning on dedicating years to each other. Just because they don't want to have sex with each other, doesn't mean the rest of what makes a marriage isn't there. And that includes the same risks of it not working out.

 

[maquiscat]

We lived together for 13 years...out of love and lust, lol...but never felt the need to marry. We had decided not to have kids, so it didnt seem necessary.

The only time we considered it was when we were looking into buying a house...financially it was alot less complicated if we were married.

That is what caused my now legal wife and I to get legally married after 8 years of calling each other husband and wife. The legal advantages.

 

[Lursa]

The point is simple. The legal benefits of establishing a single stable household. They are planning on dedicating years to each other. Just because they don't want to have sex with each other, doesn't mean the rest of what makes a marriage isn't there. And that includes the same risks of it not working out.

IMO being 'legal' contributes nothing to those things, especially stability, and the OP didnt mention them. "Legality" has nothing to do with dedicating years to each other.

OTOH someone mentioned property, etc. THat's fine. I wrote earlier that there are many reasons for marriage. And I didnt specify sex as necessary.

 

[Lursa]

That is what caused my now legal wife and I to get legally married after 8 years of calling each other husband and wife. The legal advantages.

Depends which legal advantages you want. We ended up not being able to afford a house in Seattle's escalating costs at the time so there ended up being no reason for us to do so.

 

[eohrnberger]

Not sure what this has to do with Trump but its the only article I could find about this, sorry

Tiffany Trump's friends just entered a sexless marriage, which isn't a terrible idea - AOL Lifestyle



2 things:

1. its stupid , i dont see the point.

2. I heard this on a local radio station. Its a top 40 station out of Austin with 3 young liberal hosts. I know from listening to them for a while that they all definitely support gay marriage. When they started talking about this all 3 of them said it was wrong, it made a mockery of marriage and went against tradition. I couldnt stop laughing at the irony.

Its not the weirdest thing the leftist media is pushing.

[h=3]Cuckolding can be positive for some couples, study says - CNN[/h]https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/25/health/cuckolding-sex-kerner/index.html
3 days ago - But, according to a recent study by David Ley, Justin Lehmiller and the writer Dan Savage, acting on cuckolding fantasies can be a largely positive experience for many couples, and hardly a sign of weakness. References .... Ian Kerner is a licensed psychotherapist and sexuality counselor in New York City.

Freaking seriously?

 

[maquiscat]

Depends which legal advantages you want. We ended up not being able to afford a house in Seattle's escalating costs at the time so there ended up being no reason for us to do so.

Come on out to the East Coast. You can get a 3bd/2ba with land here for the cost of a studio there.

 

[Hawkeye10]

AW, people are doing Barney Marriages now....

This is sooo sad.

 

[Lursa]

Come on out to the East Coast. You can get a 3bd/2ba with land here for the cost of a studio there.

Never again if I can help it.

AZ next. (Have 3 acres just under an hr from Seattle now)

 

[SmokeAndMirrors]

Not that anyone is actually interested in learning anything, of course, but the point is that you can work really well as a team/household, whether or not you have sexual chemistry.

Just throwing that into the gaping void of DP relationship discourse, in case anyone cares.

 

[Lursa]

Not that anyone is actually interested in learning anything, of course, but the point is that you can work really well as a team/household, whether or not you have sexual chemistry.

Just throwing that into the gaping void of DP discourse, in case anyone cares.

Not sure anyone disputes that either. But again...why the need for a legal contract?

 

[SmokeAndMirrors]

Not sure anyone disputes that either. But again...why the need for a legal contract?

Taxes, easier access to certain legal exchange of rights, possibly childcare related stuff, etc.

 

[Lursa]

Taxes, easier access to certain legal exchange of rights, possibly childcare related stuff, etc.

Yeah, definitely some shortcuts there...but also more complications if you change your mind.

If the mental/emotional commitment isnt there, we all know that people arent staying, despite the legal and financial consequences.

 

[maquiscat]

Yeah, definitely some shortcuts there...but also more complications if you change your mind.

If the mental/emotional commitment isnt there, we all know that people arent staying, despite the legal and financial consequences.

This seems to imply that you believe that if the sexual commitment or attraction isn't there, there won't be an emotional/mental commitment.

 

[Lursa]

This seems to imply that you believe that if the sexual commitment or attraction isn't there, there won't be an emotional/mental commitment.

Are you implying that best friends...or illegal aliens...or anyone else... should use the legal contract of marriage for financial benefit?

Because, what other reason is there if you arent committing to a marriage?

 

[SmokeAndMirrors]

Yeah, definitely some shortcuts there...but also more complications if you change your mind.

If the mental/emotional commitment isnt there, we all know that people arent staying, despite the legal and financial consequences.

You're making an assumption that commitment isn't there for no reason other than that they don't ****. That has nothing to do with anything.