Is it Possible to Have a Plutonic Relationship?

[lurchadams]

That's not what I meant, dude. Of course, whether you are poly, open or both, your partners should be aware of any new partners. To what extent is between all of you, but for health and safety sake, they should be aware.

But it is also important that a prospective partner know where they stand. Are you looking for a mostly physical relationship (open) or one more emotionally based (poly)? Of course it could start as one and develop as the other, but you intent should be clear to the new prospective.

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I notice you put your total identity into your sexuality. For example, I play tennis, I go to the gym, I ski, I like movies.

I just never see you talk about anything else but your sex acts and your poly relationships.

Do you have any other interests at all? I'm not being sarcastic, I promise you, I'm seriously asking.

Thanks.

Dude.

 

[Lursa]

Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

Are you saying that even if you dont find a woman physically attractive, you'd still want to have sex with her?

Or that you would only be friends with women you find physically attractive?

 

[maquiscat]

I notice you put your total identity into your sexuality. For example, I play tennis, I go to the gym, I ski, I like movies.

I just never see you talk about anything else but your sex acts and your poly relationships.

Do you have any other interests at all? I'm not being sarcastic, I promise you, I'm seriously asking.

Thanks.

Dude.

I am an avid Trekker and an Admiral and prior adminstrative level leader in one of the international fan organizations (which is how I achieved my rank). My spouses and I do board game demonstrations for a variety of companies, which in turn also let's us work at various cons, and attend them for free. We also get free games out of it. And at the risk of bringing up the sexuality again, I am also an alternative lifestyle educator. I mostly do a BDSM 101 class (titled 50 Shades of Reality) and a polyamory 101 class, although I am thinking of retitling it to ethical non-mongamy 101. Aside from that I love video game, particularly first person shooters and reading and watching sci fi and fantasy. I have notice I watch more sci fi, but read more fantasy.

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[lurchadams]

Are you saying that even if you dont find a woman physically attractive, you'd still want to have sex with her?

Or that you would only be friends with women you find physically attractive?

Not talking about physical attraction at all. Not sure where you even came up with that from my post. You might need to look inward to see where that came from, Lursa. Let me know if I can be of any assistance.

If a woman's smart, independant and can challenge me, I'm automatically drawn to her.

One of the women I'm dating now is in a wheelchair. She's just been diagnosed with MS. We've been chatting for months and we have our second "in person" date tomorrow afternoon. She writes poetry and erotic fiction. She read me some of her stuff, her poetry's kind of dark, but pretty good. Christina's physical appearance has nothing to do with why I am attracted to her.

 

[lurchadams]

I am an avid Trekker and an Admiral and prior adminstrative level leader in one of the international fan organizations (which is how I achieved my rank). My spouses and I do board game demonstrations for a variety of companies, which in turn also let's us work at various cons, and attend them for free. We also get free games out of it. And at the risk of bringing up the sexuality again, I am also an alternative lifestyle educator. I mostly do a BDSM 101 class (titled 50 Shades of Reality) and a polyamory 101 class, although I am thinking of retitling it to ethical non-mongamy 101. Aside from that I love video game, particularly first person shooters and reading and watching sci fi and fantasy. I have notice I watch more sci fi, but read more fantasy.

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That is awesome stuff, sir. I'm an avid "Trekkie" as well! Bravo.

My poly mentor right now is also very health conscious. She's prescribed an herb called, Ashwagandha - for men's health she swears by that stuff. I've been taking it in either tablet or liquid form for a couple of months and I do see an uptick in my energy level - this can be measured objectively in my gym performance. She's also a huge advocate of getting outdoors and exercising.

Is physical activity other than sex, along with eating healthy part of your mentoring as well?

 

[maquiscat]

That is awesome stuff, sir. I'm an avid "Trekkie" as well! Bravo.

My poly mentor right now is also very health conscious. She's prescribed an herb called, Ashwagandha - for men's health she swears by that stuff. I've been taking it in either tablet or liquid form for a couple of months and I do see an uptick in my energy level - this can be measured objectively in my gym performance. She's also a huge advocate of getting outdoors and exercising.

Is physical activity other than sex, along with eating healthy part of your mentoring as well?

I tend not to mentor as much as educate, and even then it's more about helping those I do, to learn how to find the education they need. I have never classified myself as an expert, simply knowledgeable, and I try to keep a list of other educators to send people to for specific topics. I also steer away from health short of basics of regular testing. I know my limits.

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[Lursa]

Not talking about physical attraction at all. Not sure where you even came up with that from my post. You might need to look inward to see where that came from, Lursa. Let me know if I can be of any assistance.

If a woman's smart, independant and can challenge me, I'm automatically drawn to her.

Well I ask because I dont see why a plutonic relationship would lead to sex unless you found the woman attractive.

OR

the other possible angle would be that it's not even a question for you because you only have attractive friends


OR

You find all women physically attractive.

You have clarified that for me now that you mentioned other attributes, outside of the physical, that you find sexually attractive.

 

[lurchadams]

Well I ask because I dont see why a plutonic relationship would lead to sex unless you found the woman attractive.

OR

the other possible angle would be that it's not even a question for you because you only have attractive friends


OR

You find all women physically attractive.

You have clarified that for me now that you mentioned other attributes, outside of the physical, that you find sexually attractive.

No I do NOT find ALL women attractive. I don't like either mean or unintelligent people whether they possess a vagina or not.

 

[GreatNews2night]

You are correct, and note I never said that my method was scientific. My evidence is anecdotal at best.

But here's what I can tell you - compared to my straight female (not as much male) friends, my gay friends (and I) have way more sex. It's possible that they aren't telling me their entire sex lives, sure, but when they do tell me and I get to hear all about the sex positions that they did. If they were leaving out whole men they were sleeping with, I'd be surprised.

Again, this is completely my anecdotal evidence, I don't claim to be any sort of expert, which I've said all along. I can only go by my own experiences UNTIL there is research into who has more hangups, straight people or gay men? But I don't think that research will ever happen LOL

Quantity is not the same as quality. McDonald's sells a lot of burgers. I'd rather eat at a chef-driven local restaurant.

Yes, I hear from different sources that gay people have "more sex." Especially when you count promiscuous encounters in saunas and all.

I'm straight and I've had plenty of sex, and in many occasions, high quality sex.

I'm not into promiscuous sex with strangers.

I think the best sex is the one that includes love.

I'm married, I love my wife, she is sexy and beautiful, she is a wonderful sex partner, and I don't think that our sex life is any worse than anybody's, based on the "frequency" factor alone. We're busy, we are both doctoral level professionals, we have a lot going on, we get tired from our intense professional lives, we don't engage in sex as frequently as some other people. So what? When we do, it's high quality.

Look, I'm straight, but I have no problem with gay people, whatsoever.

But it irks me a little when I hear people claiming some sort of superiority. "Gay people have more sex." Again, so what?

We're all human beings. We love the people we're wired to love.

You love same-sex people.

I love opposite-sex people.

It's all good.

I couldn't care less if you think you have something over me = "more sex" or "fewer hangups." If it rocks your boat, go for it.

We don't need to compare experiences. You do what you like to do, and as often as you like it.

Same with me.

No lifestyle is "superior" to others. People enjoy what they do. I wouldn't want to adopt your lifestyle and partner choices, because you might think that it's somehow better. It wouldn't work for me. I like silky, soft, beautiful women (plus, they have boobs - oh boy, boobs are GREAT!!!). The idea of making love to a male repulses me. But it entices you. Good for you. We're just wired differently.

Go for what fulfills you, and I'll go for what fulfills me, no comparison necessary.

Maybe I'm reacting a bit too strongly. It happens. I have my irritable days, and also my pleasant, convivial days.

Today I'm feeling a bit edgy about your claim that gay people have this advantages over straight people, of "more sex" and "fewer hangups."

But that's fine. Allow me to be moody. You're a quality and civil poster, and it's all good.

 

[lurchadams]

If you do, just make sure you know the difference between open and poly so you don't misrepresent yourself to potential partners.

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If you give me your general location, I can provide you places where you and your spouses can go out and get some fresh air. Exercise in the bedroom is fun, but exercise outside the bedroom can much improve performance in the bedroom.

You have a very healthy outlook on sexuality, which I truly admire. From what you shared, however your interests don't much ever take you outside your family home.

Get out and get some fresh air, dude and take your spouses with you! Put down the video game controller for a few hours, my friend.

You will thank me for my recommendation should you take it, I guarantee you!

 

[maquiscat]

If you give me your general location, I can provide you places where you and your spouses can go out and get some fresh air. Exercise in the bedroom is fun, but exercise outside the bedroom can much improve performance in the bedroom.

You have a very healthy outlook on sexuality, which I truly admire. From what you shared, however your interests don't much ever take you outside your family home.

Get out and get some fresh air, dude and take your spouses with you! Put down the video game controller for a few hours, my friend.

You will thank me for my recommendation should you take it, I guarantee you!

Did you miss all I said? We are out and about quite often. Between cons and demos, we probably don't spend as much time home as we want. Additionally, and not previously mentioned since you said I was mentioning sexual things too much, we attend area munches and play parties. While the one wife and my husband don't tend to seek outside partners much, the other wife and I do. Well, more we just remain open to possible partners, play or poly. I haven't had do actively seeking for a few years now. We live in mid Delmarva (you can find it. I believe in you! ), and I know all the groups down here. Hell, I was a leader and educational coordinator for SBMD for many years. The legal wife and I were part if SDDs (that was before we met the other two) for years when they were the only game on the Shore, and we've watch this community grow. Believe me, we get out.

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[lurchadams]

Did you miss all I said? We are out and about quite often. Between cons and demos, we probably don't spend as much time home as we want. Additionally, and not previously mentioned since you said I was mentioning sexual things too much, we attend area munches and play parties. While the one wife and my husband don't tend to seek outside partners much, the other wife and I do. Well, more we just remain open to possible partners, play or poly. I haven't had do actively seeking for a few years now. We live in mid Delmarva (you can find it. I believe in you! ), and I know all the groups down here. Hell, I was a leader and educational coordinator for SBMD for many years. The legal wife and I were part if SDDs (that was before we met the other two) for years when they were the only game on the Shore, and we've watch this community grow. Believe me, we get out.

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My company used to own a property on the east side of Chesapeake Bay. Gorgeous area.

Good for you for getting out there! There are beautiful views outside the bedroom as well as inside, are there not?

 

[SDET]

You know, Gov. I have self-control, too. At the time Audrey really seemed to appreciate what was happening. It wasn't until the next morning that she started freaking out.

Problems I seem to have with people (not just women) is when they lack the ability to express their feelings.

We're adults, Gov. I'm guessing that if you woke up next to someone you'd just been intimate with, and you had some concerns about your future friendship with this person who you've known for over 2 years that you would articulate your thoughts and eventually work towards a positive outcome.

When a person refuses to talk to me at all about what they're feeling, then what the **** am I supposed to do?

I am going to chime in on this question. Intentions are far more important than feelings. Actions are more important than intentions. Getting bogged down in other people's feelings is a sand trap. Personally, it annoys the crap out of me when people discuss their feelings or even to vent. If someone comes to me with something that bothers them, I am going to communicate a plan of action to solve the root problems. If that person doesn't implement even part of that plan of action it means that they don't believe in either my intelligence or judgement. I don't want such a person in my life. Simple, huh? You are overthinking and overcomplicating your life.

 

[maquiscat]

My company used to own a property on the east side of Chesapeake Bay. Gorgeous area.

Good for you for getting out there! There are beautiful views outside the bedroom as well as inside, are there not?

Indeed, especially at certain play spaces.

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[lurchadams]

I am going to chime in on this question. Intentions are far more important than feelings. Actions are more important than intentions. Getting bogged down in other people's feelings is a sand trap. Personally, it annoys the crap out of me when people discuss their feelings or even to vent. If someone comes to me with something that bothers them, I am going to communicate a plan of action to solve the root problems. If that person doesn't implement even part of that plan of action it means that they don't believe in either my intelligence or judgement. I don't want such a person in my life. Simple, huh? You are overthinking and overcomplicating your life.

This person and I are not seeing each other any longer. This issue is, therefore, moot.

You're missing out on the joy of connecting with a woman spiritually, my friend. I'm so sorry for you!

 

[NoC_T]

Plutonic. lol

 

[perthbum]

Ok, it's possible. How likely is it? Perhaps that should have been my question.

Depends say you were gay and your boyfriend drank and chewed tobbacco and smelled a bit, do you think it could be platonic?

 

[lurchadams]

Depends say you were gay and your boyfriend drank and chewed tobbacco and smelled a bit, do you think it could be platonic?

???????????????????????????????????????

 

[perthbum]

???????????????????????????????????????

I am saying if you were gay and your boyfriend was a slob it could easily be platonic, thats if you were gay of course. Or if your wife became fat and lacked basic hygiene after a few years I am sure it could become platonic.

 

[LosAngelesAngel]

Is it possible to have a plutonic relationship with a woman if you're a man and you both are hetero?

My life experience tells me, "no". If you like each other, eventually you're going to fool around. That's just the way it is.

~ I certainly hope it's possible - especially if one or both are married !

 

[lurchadams]

I am saying if you were gay and your boyfriend was a slob it could easily be platonic, thats if you were gay of course. Or if your wife became fat and lacked basic hygiene after a few years I am sure it could become platonic.

Wow - did you ever come up with a bizarre take on this whole situation. Weird.

 

[lurchadams]

~ I certainly hope it's possible - especially if one or both are married !

Yeah, not the scenario I'm talking about.

 

[LosAngelesAngel]

~ I believe Lurch had a crush on Morticia - but nobody ever knew ...

 

[CannonballB]

Depends say you were gay and your boyfriend drank and chewed tobbacco and smelled a bit, do you think it could be platonic?

You never know - that could be a turnon to some of us.

(Dudes who smoke are hot. Dip is not hot. Just sayin)

 

[perthbum]

You never know - that could be a turnon to some of us.

(Dudes who smoke are hot. Dip is not hot. Just sayin)

I agree dont knock it till you have tried it, you might like it.