Children - Are They Worth It?

[Hawkeye10]

72% yes is not a great outing.....and it seems to be dropping.

 

[longview]

If you do it right, there is a big windfall at the end.
Once you pay the last collage bill, you realize, you have money to do things.
If you really did it right, the mortgage ends about the same time as the last kid finishes college,:lol:.

 

[Bodi]

We will spend our time doing one thing or another, what better way is there to spend your time then educating and raising a child of your own?
The money? Ahh, its next to nothing in the long run. Don't get me wrong, there is an expense, but never ever a cost. Every cent I've ever spent on the children in my life I've gotten back with pure joy 10 fold.

The caring, what is more worthy of your caring then a child? I have hobbies, I play guitar, love my stereo and my boat, but I don't care for any of them the way I do for the kids in my life, it's not even close.



I never wanted children, my father was abusive, one day my wife changed her mind and wanted "something more", we couldn't conceive so we went through the foster care route. (If you have doubts I highly recommend it)

After losing the first child we cared for (her maternal grand mother took her in) we received another child at the age of 3 days old. Almost 9 months to the day the adoption was final and we had our daughter, she is now 8 years old and I wouldn't trade 1 second of it ever. Sure it's trying, nerve wracking, and you want to pull your hair out at times, but the love you get back in return for just being there is uncountable.

PM me if you'd like any details, being a parent is the bomb! I went into it thinking I was done, it was only last Friday I thanked my wife for showing me what true love really is.

I have two daughters....

The Mess, the Poop? When you have a child and that baby poops on you it is the most beautiful thing in the world, what's the big deal? You get up, step into the shower and wash off, it's your child, you love and embrace that child and experience, it's a memory you'll have forever, it's a story you'll share for years to come.

:lol:

Uhh... no. It is not the most beautiful thing in the world.

 

[Bodi]

72% yes is not a great outing.....and it seems to be dropping.

Interesting... I think.

 

[Bodi]

I waited a few pages...

I voted NO.

As at least one noted it is subjective.

 

[SmokeAndMirrors]

72% yes is not a great outing.....and it seems to be dropping.

Believe it or not, it used to be even worse. The numbers you're seeing on DP aren't too far out of line with what studies show (a bit lower, but that's because there's also CF people like me voting).

The rate of parental regret is dropping, as birth control becomes more accessible, and people are freer to choose when or if they will become parents. But a substantial chunk of people essentially get forced into it, so regret rates remain unfortunately high.

Parenthood's not for everyone. Hopefully the regret rate will continue to drop as the younger generations feel more empowered to decide that before they've dragged a kid into it.

 

[Hawkeye10]

Interesting... I think.

As we have become more self absorbed and selfish that answer matters more, I picture my grandparents saying "Whether I like it or not is not the point, it is what one does".

 

[Lursa]

As we have become more self absorbed and selfish that answer matters more, I picture my grandparents saying "Whether I like it or not is not the point, it is what one does".

Such an attitude of doing something 'out of duty' does not lend itself to good parenting. Seems like the results wont be any better than those that 'accidentally' become parents. Hit or miss.

 

[Hawkeye10]

Such an attitude of doing something 'out of duty' does not lend itself to good parenting. Seems like the results wont be any better than those that 'accidentally' become parents. Hit or miss.

If part of the duty is to be a good parent, as it was back in the day, then you dont have a point.

Also, it is not hit or miss if the parents have community support...the odds of success are much better than the odds of failure....but that is all gone now.

 

[Lursa]

I waited a few pages...

I voted NO.

As at least one noted it is subjective.

IMO I think most people must just be ignorant of or forget (from when they were kids) what raising kids is like. If you dont REALLY REALLY want it, most are going to have major regrets.

I think most people do it just because it's expected of them...like marriage. ANd then people nag them about it when they become adults. Like marriage. "When are you going to get married?" Then "When are you going to have kids?"

Believe me...neither of those things is such a great idea for alot of people. And why should they be?

 

[Lursa]

If part of the duty is to be a good parent, as it was back in the day, then you dont have a point.

Also, it is not hit or miss if the parents have community support...the odds of success are much better than the odds of failure....but that is all gone now.

ANd it didnt work to create good parents out of bad ones then either.

 

[Hawkeye10]

ANd it didnt work to create good parents out of bad ones then either.

Often it did, humans have the ability to get better, and many did.

 

[ChezC3]

I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier -- Let the children's laughter, remind us how we used to be...

 

[Lursa]

Often it did, humans have the ability to get better, and many did.

I wouldnt say the rate then was any different than now so I dont see it as a valid point.

If you see something as your duty, rather than something that you really want...no, I say the odds are lower. But possible of course.

 

[Hawkeye10]

I wouldnt say the rate then was any different than now so I dont see it as a valid point.

If you see something as your duty, rather than something that you really want...no, I say the odds are lower. But possible of course.

Stuff like honor and duty used to be much more important than it is now and thus a better motivator.

I get the sense that you dont know your history.

 

[Lursa]

Stuff like honor and duty used to be much more important than it is now and thus a better motivator.

I get the sense that you dont know history.

And again, you have no foundation for that except your belief.

Ah, that nostalgia for the 50's when America *appeared* perfect.

I get the sense that you dont examine history closely.

 

[Hawkeye10]

And again, you have no foundation for that except your belief.

Ah, that nostalgia for the 50's when America *appeared* perfect.

I get the sense that you dont examine history closely.

I have education...and I know that I am right here.

I have done my best to help you.

 

[Lursa]

I have education...and I know that I am right here.

I have done my best to help you.

You didnt help anything and if you blindly follow the surface history of your public school education...I saw the most that can be expected.

Society was no less dysfunctional back then than it is now. There were just fewer people and lots less transparency.

 

[<alt>doxygen]

My children are worth it. Other people’s are not.

I'm the opposite. If I wanted some, I borrowed kids from my siblings. They were always happy to offload. I had some fun and returned them intact. Then I go back to my relatively clean, quiet house.:lol:

 

[lefty louie]

I have two daughters....



:lol:

Uhh... no. It is not the most beautiful thing in the world.

Well I hope you one day will feel the joy I have felt in everything my children do. I've been vomited on, pooped on bled on, coughed in the face and never once recoiled.

It effects me not, if anything I hold them closer, it's just natural for this father, for those are the times they need it most.

 

[d0gbreath]

Fathering my two kids (38 and 30 now) is really the only important thing that I've ever done.

 

[lefty louie]

For the 20% that say it isn't worth it, what makes that statement true? Did your children turn out poorly, was it just not worth the effort, some other reason?

If I should make this into another thread, just kick me.

 

[Bodi]

Well I hope you one day will feel the joy I have felt in everything my children do. I've been vomited on, pooped on bled on, coughed in the face and never once recoiled.

It effects me not, if anything I hold them closer, it's just natural for this father, for those are the times they need it most.

You are in one category of parent that probably most are in... the general on. I am in a much smaller category of parent that has a kid with major issues. I guarantee you that you would not find joy in much of what I have had to endure...

 

[Bodi]

For the 20% that say it isn't worth it, what makes that statement true? Did your children turn out poorly, was it just not worth the effort, some other reason?

If I should make this into another thread, just kick me.

I think that the question is appropriate. For me it was subjective. I love my kids and have had an amazing time with them. Even the terrible times, that were often caused by my ex, were worth it for the most part. I was just thinking abstractly... If I didn't have kids my life wouldn't be any better or worse... it would be different. I could do what I want when I want it. But I have kids... that is cool too. My youngest has an emotional disorder that has made a relationship near impossible. That is just how it goes. Would I be better without her ever have been in my life? No. Dealing with her and what she has caused has helped define who I have become. There are just lots of ways to view it, being a parent or not. Neither is better and kids are not an automatic joy.

 

[lefty louie]

I belong (like many I'm sure) to another forum, it's boating forum and most members are family orientated, that said, out of the 34 responses so far, not one said NO to the question of "Are children worth it?"

What a different set of responses, all men members so far and 100% said the kids are the best thing that ever happened to them. While the intellects here have a 20% disapproval rate, interesting, very interesting.