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Sexless friendship marriage

SmokeAndMirrors said:
You're making an assumption that commitment isn't there for no reason other than that they don't ****. That has nothing to do with anything.
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No, that's definitely not my assumption at all. And I've written as much earlier.
 
Lursa said:
No, that's definitely not my assumption at all. And I've written as much earlier.
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So then how is this any different from the risks that a typical romantic couple would assume when marrying? Keep in mind, a lot of them only do it for technical reasons as well. What's the difference?
 
Lots of marriages evolve into sexless friendships. Maybe this one will do the opposite :)
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
So then how is this any different from the risks that a typical romantic couple would assume when marrying? Keep in mind, a lot of them only do it for technical reasons as well. What's the difference?
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In America I disagree that 'alot' of marriages are for technical reasons only today.

And to answer your question: compatibility, arguments over responsibilities & tasks, $$, and yes jealousy. One doesnt have to be in a sexual relationship to be jealous.
 
I don't care either way...but as a matter of analysis, I agree, the "socialite" thing makes this a dud.

The issue isn't a marriage being open in itself is "bad", that's absurd...only religious zealots think that way. In practice, such marriages I don't think ever last, and are designed to fail. In this way, if your intent is marriage for life, then it's a very poor choice. If it's for "the social scene", then who cares, that all seems petty and absurd, why would the marriage also not be petty and absurd? Fitting.

Routinely being intimate with a variety of people you are attracted to...I mean, surely that could never ruin a marriage...seems obviously bad.
 
Lursa said:
In America I disagree that 'alot' of marriages are for technical reasons only today.

And to answer your question: compatibility, arguments over responsibilities & tasks, $$, and yes jealousy. One doesnt have to be in a sexual relationship to be jealous.
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You sure? I'd say at least half of my peers that I've seen get married only got married for technical reasons. I'm going to one such wedding next month, actually. In North Carolina. :shrug:

A lot of them actually don't like the idea of having their relationship rubber-stamped by the government, but eventually relented because managing their affairs while unmarried was just too complicated, thanks to the government's meddling and gatekeeping. There have also been a couple people I've known who only got married because their parents were being all histrionic and they just didn't want to fight about it anymore.

Granted, I'm aware that is definitely more a thing for the younger generations. But there's an awful lot of them, so I'd say there's a significant chunk of genuine romantic couples who only marry for technical reasons.

I asked you how this is DIFFERENT, not how it's exactly the same. :lol:
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
You sure? I'd say at least half of my peers that I've seen get married only got married for technical reasons. I'm going to one such wedding next month, actually. In North Carolina. :shrug:

A lot of them actually don't like the idea of having their relationship rubber-stamped by the government, but eventually relented because managing their affairs while unmarried was just too complicated, thanks to the government's meddling and gatekeeping. There have also been a couple people I've known who only got married because their parents were being all histrionic and they just didn't want to fight about it anymore.

Granted, I'm aware that is definitely more a thing for the younger generations. But there's an awful lot of them, so I'd say there's a significant chunk of genuine romantic couples who only marry for technical reasons.

I asked you how this is DIFFERENT, not how it's exactly the same. :lol:
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It's not different...hence the reasons why I dont see why it's worth it. People truly committed and in love often cant make it work, so those with less bond?

I only see the same legal red tape when it doesnt work out...and an even higher rate of that occurring. So I think it's short-sighted for those doing it for merely the legal/financial benefits.
 
Lursa said:
It's not different...hence the reasons why I dont see why it's worth it. People truly committed and in love often cant make it work, so those with less bond?

I only see the same legal red tape when it doesnt work out...and an even higher rate of that occurring. So I think it's short-sighted for those doing it for merely the legal/financial benefits.
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Why are you assuming it's less bonded? You don't have any evidence of that, and obviously lots of romantic couples aren't bonded at all. Hell, most people change partners more often than they change friends. So if anything, aren't friends a safer bet?
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
Why are you assuming it's less bonded? You don't have any evidence of that, and obviously lots of romantic couples aren't bonded at all. Hell, most people change partners more often than they change friends. So if anything, aren't friends a safer bet?
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Yes, esp when I see the reasons and when others here support the legal and financial ends, I'm going with less bonded.

And again...back to the question: why the need to marry?
 
Lursa said:
Yes, esp when I see the reasons and when others here support the legal and financial ends, I'm going with less bonded.

And again...back to the question: why the need to marry?
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Well, if you're going to base your argument on emotional projection in defiance of all the evidence and ignoring everything the people involved have said, then... what am I supposed to be debating? Clearly you just want to believe what you believe regardless of whether it makes sense or not.

I've just explained it to you like 5 times.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
Well, if you're going to base your argument on emotional projection in defiance of all the evidence and ignoring everything the people involved have said, then... what am I supposed to be debating? Clearly you just want to believe what you believe regardless of whether it makes sense or not.

I've just explained it to you like 5 times.
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No, no one has really explained why people 'choose' marriage "just" because they feel strong emotional bonds.

We know there are some financial and legal benefits. But IMO, it wont really be a common thing because there are legal entanglements and obligations to get out of marriage as well.

I dont care what people do. I'm just wondering what the point truly is? Is marriage such an ingrained concept, so deep a societal expectation, and some people today think they wont find a true marital partner, that they just choose an excuse? To feel more 'socially accepted?'
 
Lursa said:
Are you implying that best friends...or illegal aliens...or anyone else... should use the legal contract of marriage for financial benefit?

Because, what other reason is there if you arent committing to a marriage?
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And the other legal benefits, yes. That really is all the legal recognition is about. Marriage as you seem to be thinking about requires not that legal recognition.
 
Lursa said:
No, no one has really explained why people 'choose' marriage "just" because they feel strong emotional bonds.
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Which begs the question of why people choose marriage at all, legally recognized or not? And due to the nature of this question we have to be sure that we discuss legal marriage separate from social/religious marriage. Because they are not really the same thing, albeing similar and related.

We know there are some financial and legal benefits. But IMO, it wont really be a common thing because there are legal entanglements and obligations to get out of marriage as well.
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Isn't this an argument for those who are romantically inclined now?

I dont care what people do. I'm just wondering what the point truly is? Is marriage such an ingrained concept, so deep a societal expectation, and some people today think they wont find a true marital partner, that they just choose an excuse? To feel more 'socially accepted?'
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Quite the opposite, in my opinion. And it is the reason we are seeing more, albeit not on the legal level, poly marriages and relationships today. More people are doing things because they feel it is right for them, not that it is "socially acceptable". So in this case they are entering into these platonic marriages, with someone they feel that they can spend years committed to as a household partner, and deciding that if they are going to do so, they may as well take every legal benefit they can. This is not the first time of heard of this, just the first time I have seen it make the news.
 
I am having trouble imagining being so bored as being in a sexless friendship is all you get buster "Marriage".

There had better be some perks that I am missing.

:2wave:
 
Hawkeye10 said:
I am having trouble imagining being so bored as being in a sexless friendship is all you get buster "Marriage".

There had better be some perks that I am missing.

:2wave:
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If you are in a sexless friend marriage, then the only reason you are doing so, aside from having a person with whom you are running a household, is the legal perks. Basically, the reasons for getting legally married are the same regardless of whether or not sex will be involved.
 
maquiscat said:
If you are in a sexless friend marriage, then the only reason you are doing so, aside from having a person with whom you are running a household, is the legal perks. Basically, the reasons for getting legally married are the same regardless of whether or not sex will be involved.
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I am a "You live your life and I will live mine" kinda guy, but I gotta say I tend to not want to be around folks who dont have passions, I dont know that these people are my speed, probably not if they have zero interest in the erotic.

It would be interesting to find out. ........damn this sounds like a business deal between personal brands....YUK......I dont know what I would do if I knew someone like that.
 
I am as sexless as the next world will be. I live a separate and celebrate life.
 
grip said:
I am as sexless as the next world will be. I live a separate and celebrate life.
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Being a monk and being married are not at all the same....

This is by choice I take it....
 
Hawkeye10 said:
Being a monk and being married are not at all the same....

This is by choice I take it....
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By agreement with fate. I've found affection and lust to be incompatible for now. My object of affection cannot also be my object of lust, but it is my malfeasance and not an error of nature. I need guidance from someone who has crossed thru this threshold.
 
grip said:
By agreement with fate. I've found affection and lust to be incompatible for now. My object of affection cannot also be my object of lust, but it is my malfeasance and not an error of nature. I need guidance from someone who has crossed thru this threshold.
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Other words, I need to know is love sex more important than lust sex?
 
grip said:
By agreement with fate. I've found affection and lust to be incompatible for now. My object of affection cannot also be my object of lust, but it is my malfeasance and not an error of nature. I need guidance from someone who has crossed thru this threshold.
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Maybe that, maybe the attentions of the right woman.......
 
Hawkeye10 said:
Let's not hijack this thread.....but there are all kinds of women.......some of them know how to pop your cork.
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I am sexless due to lower back nerve damage but actually feel free.
 
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