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The Mindless Job Thread
- Thread starter P_T
- Start date
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As I sat there sipping on my first cup of steaming hot coffee I was contemplating what to do today ?
Think nothing is a great answer ! ...... It's possible a near 9 mo. old Grandchild wore me out !
I tell myself in a couple of weeks I will want to do it again !
I got Nothing !
Think nothing is a great answer ! ...... It's possible a near 9 mo. old Grandchild wore me out !
I tell myself in a couple of weeks I will want to do it again !
I got Nothing !
Last edited:
- Joined
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Man & Wife stroll past a Restaurant.
"Wow did you catch that aroma?" TWSS
Hell, yes, he thinks, I think I shall treat her. TWHT
So, he being a generous Husband
He walks her past it again.
______________________________________________
"Wow did you catch that aroma?" TWSS
Hell, yes, he thinks, I think I shall treat her. TWHT
So, he being a generous Husband
He walks her past it again.
______________________________________________
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A WISHFUL HEART;
I had my head in, and was about to aim the lantern,
when my thumb slipped upon the dam thing,
and the old man sprang up in bed, crying out --
"Who's there?"
I kept quite still and said nothing. For a whole hour
I did not move a muscle, and in the meantime.
I did not hear him lie down. He was still sitting up
in the bed listening; --just as I have done, night after night,
hearkening to the death watches of mine thru the open door.
The open eye and the unending heartbeat
Sure, the screams quieted me my beating heart.
I had my head in, and was about to aim the lantern,
when my thumb slipped upon the dam thing,
and the old man sprang up in bed, crying out --
"Who's there?"
I kept quite still and said nothing. For a whole hour
I did not move a muscle, and in the meantime.
I did not hear him lie down. He was still sitting up
in the bed listening; --just as I have done, night after night,
hearkening to the death watches of mine thru the open door.
The open eye and the unending heartbeat
Sure, the screams quieted me my beating heart.
- Joined
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- 218
- Location
- mid-west
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Moderate
Cal goes to the Grocery Store.
His wife says, "1 gallon of milk and if they have Avocados get 6."
Cal returns in a couple of hours with 6 gal. of milk.
Wife asks, " why the 6 gallons of milk?"
"They had Avocados !"
His wife says, "1 gallon of milk and if they have Avocados get 6."
Cal returns in a couple of hours with 6 gal. of milk.
Wife asks, " why the 6 gallons of milk?"
"They had Avocados !"
- Joined
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I got a big envelope in the mail that had written on the front, "Photographs: Do Not Bend."
Underneath the mailman wrote, "Oh, yes they do."
__________________________________________________________
Underneath the mailman wrote, "Oh, yes they do."
__________________________________________________________
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Hi there! You seem a little bit loonly here. I'll give you a poem (badly translated...)from Pär Lagerkvist a Swedish poet and novelist (Nobelprize in 1951) for the smiles some of your posts give me and to reflect the worry some of your other posts provides me with.
I Wanted To Know
I wanted to know
but was only allowed to ask,
I wanted light
but was only allowed to burn.
I demanded the ineffable
but was only allowed to live.
I complained,
but nobody understood what I meant.
see ya.
I Wanted To Know
I wanted to know
but was only allowed to ask,
I wanted light
but was only allowed to burn.
I demanded the ineffable
but was only allowed to live.
I complained,
but nobody understood what I meant.
see ya.
- Joined
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- mid-west
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Two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park.
He is a widower and she a widow. They have known one another for a number of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.
These two are at the same table, across from one another, he making
a few admiring glances at her and finally gathers up his courage & asks her, "Will you marry me?"
After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of careful consideration, she answers. "Yes. Yes, I will."
The meal ends and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they go to their respective Mobile Homes.
Next door to each other. The next morning, he's troubled.
"Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?"
He can't remember. Try as he can, he just can't recall.
Not even a faint memory.
With trepidation, he Messengers her.
First, he types to her that he doesn't remember as well as he used to,.
It was a lovely evening, "When I asked if you would marry me,
did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He's delighted to read her answer.
"Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart."
"I am so glad that you messengered me
because I couldn't remember who asked me."
He is a widower and she a widow. They have known one another for a number of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.
These two are at the same table, across from one another, he making
a few admiring glances at her and finally gathers up his courage & asks her, "Will you marry me?"
After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of careful consideration, she answers. "Yes. Yes, I will."
The meal ends and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they go to their respective Mobile Homes.
Next door to each other. The next morning, he's troubled.
"Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?"
He can't remember. Try as he can, he just can't recall.
Not even a faint memory.
With trepidation, he Messengers her.
First, he types to her that he doesn't remember as well as he used to,.
It was a lovely evening, "When I asked if you would marry me,
did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He's delighted to read her answer.
"Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart."
"I am so glad that you messengered me
because I couldn't remember who asked me."
- Joined
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A couple who have been married for 15 years are doing work in their garden. The wife stands on all fours with her head up in the air, weeding the flowerbed when the husband freaks out.
- Dear wife, you're starting to put on weight, your as is as big as the grill.
As proof, he measured over the wife's butt and then over the grill that was on the patio and exclaimed half laughing.
- What did I say, exactly the same size.
The wife was very offended by his rashness and decided that he could do the rest of the gardening himself. She went in and did not address her husband again for the rest of the day. In the evening when they got to bed, the husband crawls next to his wife and wonders if they shouldn't have a little love. The wife turns her back on him and clearly shows her disapproval.
- What is it honey, the husband asks incomprehendingly.
The wife answers hissingly and triumphantly.
- Do you really think I'm lighting up this big grill for a poor little chipolata.
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The elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time. At the urging of their friends,
they decided it was finally time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and
had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances,
living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather trustingly. "Well," she said, responding very carefully,
"I'd have to say... I would like it infrequently."
"The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and
casually asked ............ "Is that one word or two?" .....
they decided it was finally time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and
had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances,
living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather trustingly. "Well," she said, responding very carefully,
"I'd have to say... I would like it infrequently."
"The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and
casually asked ............ "Is that one word or two?" .....