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Women - What are you feelings about "giving away the milk for free".

Read the first 70 or so posts of this thread and am feeling very grateful that I'm not in the dating scene.

I definitely would not have casual sex with a man over 50. A lot more things would need to "feel right" in my 50's or older than I worried about in my 20's. Would take a lot of trust for me to be willing to show my old body to a new man ... or for me to want to see his old body.
 
What amazes me is how the original poster can be 58 years old, yet so clueless. I thought that with age, came wisdom. How can someone go through almost 6 decades of life and still fail to realize how out of line he is??? And with several pages of people pointing out to him the flaws of his ways, he still doesn't get it. Wow!

When I was about 16 I think I already understood girls (and later, women) and already knew how to treat them much better than this guy at 58!
 
SDET said:
Pal, is a throwback slang term from the 1960s-1970s. It's a gender-neutral version of "dude".
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I'm not gender sensitive. I'm from Chicago, we used the word guys, for a group consisting of both male and female.

Example> Hey, you guys want to go ice skating tonight?

A pal is a close friend, someone you pal around with. Lurch and I are not pals in that sense.

Roseann:)
 
SDET said:
Miracles never cease. If more people would think outside the box, they would suffer less. The criticism here pales in comparison to what I got in from my own family when I started taking Latinas home. Some of deceased, but remembered parts of my family were Klansmen. Some of the chicks I took home were mulatta. You'd have thought the world came to an end.

It was amazing going from incel to getting attractive recent aliens to ride halfway across the country to meet my family in the Midwest. I haven't had to worry about frustration for over 30 years now.

Imagine the clash between a family that resembled "The Waltons" and this mentality (yes I know the music below is modern, but the mentality fits).

This is how a slum can be paradise: The title translates to "You go slut".

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The title "Vai Malandra" does not translate as "You go slut." "Malandra" is not "slut." In Brazilian Portuguese, the jargon for "slut" would be "galinha" or "piranha." "Malandra" is rather "trickster" as a jargon, originally negative but lately acquiring a positive connotation of a street-wise person. The original meaning of "malandra" is a lazy person who doesn't like to work, in literal translation (the traditional, dictionary meaning of the word, minus the jargon aspect). The "trickster" connotation is not a sexual one, and doesn't involve promiscuity.

Here, some dictionary definitions:

Significado de Malandra

1.Aquela que gosta de viver de modo boêmio, sem trabalhar, na malandragem.
2.Pessoa que age com esperteza, astúcia, malícia; esperta.
 
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Amelia said:
Read the first 70 or so posts of this thread and am feeling very grateful that I'm not in the dating scene.

I definitely would not have casual sex with a man over 50. A lot more things would need to "feel right" in my 50's or older than I worried about in my 20's. Would take a lot of trust for me to be willing to show my old body to a new man ... or for me to want to see his old body.
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No need to generalize. One would hope that the vast majority of men (like many here in this thread who gave good opinions), especially those as experienced as we'd expect from someone who is 58, would not be as creepy, clueless, and demeaning to women as the original poster. Like I said, I'm glad for the woman who turned him down and got rid of him.

Even his title is offensive - giving up milk for free. As opposed to what? For money as a prostitute?

One can get everything one needs to know about this guy from the wording in his original post.

It is interesting that he thinks that her "I don't know you" is an excuse for her sexual inhibitions, when it's an excuse for what she was probably really thinking: "now that I know you, I don't want you; I want you out of my home and my life."

Sure, her telling him that she shipped the children away, was suggestive... but not necessarily. In any case, even if she was more open to sex when she invited him in, she obviously changed her mind, and that's precisely because she got to know this aspect of his personality that made of him a sexist and entitled jerk.
 
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lurchadams said:
I'm 58 years old. I had a date Saturday night with a 53 year-old woman I've been communicating with for several months. Saturday was our third date - I took her to see, "Bohemian Rhapsody" at a movie theater that serves you drinks and dinner during the movie. It was pretty cool. But I just went off on a tangent.

So we get back to her place. She tells me her 2 kids that live with her are staying at a hotel overnight and would I like to come in. So I assumed at that point - her telling me her kids were gone - inviting me in - the fact it was our third date - I assumed she was inviting me in to spend the night.

So we're on her couch, we're talking for a bit, then I start to kiss her. She pulls back. I ask her how long it's been since she's been with someone. She tells me a very long time. I tell her not to worry, I'll take care of everything, then I gently take her hands and try to get her started towards her bedroom. She pulls back again and says, "No, I'm NOT READY!". I ask her, gently why she thinks that is. She tells me she "doesn't know me well enough". This woman and I have been talking for months. She knows my family - where I went to school. She knows who my friends are. We're facebook friends. In my opinion this woman knows me better than most women do when they first decide they want to have sex with a guy.

So the "not knowing me well enough" excuse was bull****.

I don't understand why this chick is even on a dating site if she has such a puritanical and unhealthy outlook on sex. She needs to get off the dating site and get into therapy for her anxiety about human intimacy in my opinion or her cycle of being disappointed and disappointing men is going to continue.

So my question is to the ladies:

It's been possibly years since you've been intimate with a guy. You're sitting on a couch with a guy you're obviously interested in. He wants to sleep with you. What in the world was this girl thinking? Why the **** is she even on a dating site?

Thanks.
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If you were to ask me it sounds like she wants you to pursue her more. I've talked to many women who has dated guys I'm done a very similar thing and it always seems like they want the guy to pursue her more I don't get it. It must be a woman thing, I've never been on your end of it.
 
She's either using you for a free ride and compliments, or was into you at one point but changed her mind. Sorry man :(

You could try quitting your job, going on welfare, and then acting abusive on your next date. Women seem to love that nowadays.
 
<alt>doxygen said:
How can I rec this post 500 times?:mrgreen:

If you don't devour each other in 1 or 2 tries, look elsewhere.
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Yeah. I just don't get it. If I'm getting married to someone, knowing how we connect on that level beforehand is a must. I'd say that goes for most people in relationships.
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
It just happens...a woman "THINKS" she's ready and then suddenly....eeek! :eek:
And it's not just the 53 year olds either. I think I told you the story about the adorable little gal who worked at the drug store, with the ugly pink smock and even the pink smock couldn't hide the fact that she was as cute as the dickens.
And I said that on our first date she clammed up and barely talked, had me convinced she was not having a good date.

Lemme tell you something, if you remember, the next time we went out MONTHS later, it was SHE who dragged ME into the bedroom and jumped MY bones. And like Am Woman says, I damn near needed a first aid kit afterward.
From that point on I removed the word "slut" from my vocabulary as a negative connotation, because I LOVED being pushed onto the bed by a horny woman.

But it happens, women think they ready and suddenly...they're not.
Use humor, use whatever will disarm her defenses, or just gently say good night and chalk it up to Finagle's Constant Flying Fickle Factor.
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It's funny because that might be me too, clam up the first time and get shy but once I break the ice, well you know what happens next. :mrgreen:
 
americanwoman said:
If I'm 53 years old, single, kid out of the way, and haven't had a man in years - my advice would be to bring a first aid kit for when I'm done with you.
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That is very sad. Unless you enjoy women.
 
Lucian Hodoboc said:
Let's not gang up on the guy. He seems to have a high sex drive and a secular mentality about sexual intercourse, neither of which are his fault, so instead of judging him, we should give him brotherly advice about how he can have his urges met in a God-honoring manner. OP, don't you want to marry, settle down, build a family, and obtain, you know... all the good stuff that come with being a family man? :cowboy:
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Marriage isn't for everyone. Especially those who are older and have no aspirations for starting another family, or even a first family.

Lurch is correct about one thing, sex is like breathing for him, and many other people. Okay, so he didn't click with this woman. Perhaps she should have sent signals the first time they went out. Not a reason to get angry, just time to move on and find what he wants elsewhere. You're vision of god is not applicable to anyone other than yourself. It doesn't belong in Lurch's world view, or all that many others in his age group and older.

I did some dating after my first wife passed, two years afterwards at the insistence of my children. I found the women more aggressive than the men, certainly more aggressive than I was. And I enjoyed that experience most of the time. I ended up marrying a woman I hated at first sight and who hated me at first sight, we never dated. Other experiences brought us together, including finding a necessary level mutual respect, a comfort zone. Sexuality was secondary, but necessary for both of us, as was sexual compatibility. Someone else pointed out the value of the latter. Religious values played no part in our decision to marry, more so it was a mutual declaration for a monogamous relationship, and a unified shared life, whatever that means to us. Neither of us expected to ever remarry. For some it is good, but not all. Others make other choices and that is deserving of respect as well. Some never want to remarry, or marry at all, and don't want children or more children. That is there prerogative, and many of both sexes think similarly, and I have no doubt similar feelings exist in the lgbt community. I know women who have no desire to put up with another domineering man in their lives, whose habits differ from their own, or who just enjoy solitude, and the same for some men. No problem. It isn't anyone else's business.
 
americanwoman said:
It's funny because that might be me too, clam up the first time and get shy but once I break the ice, well you know what happens next. :mrgreen:
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Ohhh, that was me. I was a ball of nerves my first time. Thankfully, my girlfriend oozes confidence, so I was in safe hands. But 16 was a long time ago, and I've not no hesitation now. :2razz:
 
lurchadams said:
Completely understand what? Her dodge that "she didn't know me well enough" being the reason? If I told her that I completely understand that bull**** that would have been a lie. So your suggestion was that I lie? No. I'm straight with people, like I'm being straight with you and I expect the same from them.
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Texting and talking on the phone aren't a substitute for being physically present with each other when you're trying to get to know someone. How many hours did you spend with her on the 3 dates? 6 hours? 10 hours? Not really enough time for one's true colors to come out... then again maybe it is.
 
lurchadams said:
I understand what you're saying, C.B. And if I thought Sherri was the worth it, I'd be patient and invest more time in her. There's a couple of other ladies I'm seeing that don't have Sherri's problems or antiquated outlook on sexuality. If Sherri wants to continue a dialog with me, she's welcome to. I, however have already moved on from any hope that anything worthwhile would ever develop between us - not because she rejected me, but for the immature way she handled the rejection. I need people that I hang out with to act like grown ups or I don't have time for them.
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That is rich. :lol:
 
americanwoman said:
It's also not honest for a man to act like he knows exactly how 98% of women think.
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I'm 70. I freely admit I have no idea how any woman thinks, from infancy onward. I have no expectations of learning otherwise. I have learned to accept, what is is, and no matter what I say to a woman, I am wrong. :) My youngest granddaughters have made this abundantly clear. But they still like my cooking.
 
TheGoverness said:
Ohhh, that was me. I was a ball of nerves my first time. Thankfully, my girlfriend oozes confidence, so I was in safe hands. But 16 was a long time ago, and I've not no hesitation now. :2razz:
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Trust me, at 16 I was also a timid little kitten. It takes time to grow into a cougar. :lol:
 
OldFatGuy said:
I'm 70. I freely admit I have no idea how any woman thinks, from infancy onward. I have no expectations of learning otherwise. I have learned to accept, what is is, and no matter what I say to a woman, I am wrong. :) My youngest granddaughters have made this abundantly clear. But they still like my cooking.
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I was lucky, I figured them out long ago.

They want someone who projects financial power and status.

It's pretty straight forward.

Like shoots ducks in a barrel.
 
TheGoverness said:
Yeah. I just don't get it. If I'm getting married to someone, knowing how we connect on that level beforehand is a must. I'd say that goes for most people in relationships.
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That's only for when sex isn't about fear and shame. You're not considering their perspective.
 
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