Women - What are you feelings about "giving away the milk for free".

[lurchadams]

No...you are here peeing yourself in a pretty embarrassing public display because a woman didnt put out for you after three whole dates and to you that indicates there is something wrong with her. The mere fact that damn near everyone here has tried to help you see that and you continue to stomp your feet and insist you are right speaks volumes of you.

3 dates, known her and have spoken with her either by phone or by text every day since October of 2018. You're just wrong. Don't speak about something you don't know anything about, friend.

 

[lurchadams]

So third date is it for you?

Either they are ready, or they aren’t?

Seems like you may be the one that needs a little help....

Women are different.....some feel very easy about sex, some are way more puritanical as you said....there isn’t a specific timeframe that meets all their needs

If it is worth waiting for to you is the only question....and how much pressure you want to exert.....

This is the last time. Known her since October. Either spoken by phone or text every day, several times a day since October of 2018. The next post like this I'm just going to ignore.

 

[ecofarm]

I understand that, Gov. I really, really do. This woman has a different perspective on intimacy. She's terrified of it. She needs help, in my opinion or history will repeat itself the next time she brings a guy home. I'm certain of this. If you think I'm being arrogant, I'm sorry. I should have seen the look on her face when I tried to take her to bed. She was TERRIFIED. That's not normal for someone of her age and status.

It's not sex or intimacy she appeared terrified of. It's what she's gotta tell ya. Could be personal hang ups or an std or vestigial penis (I joke). But it's something that's serious to her, and it's something that could be a deal breaker. And she's scared to tell you.

 

[lurchadams]

Wow . . . while i agree it seemed the signs were there that it could be possible moving to the next level i dont see anything wrong with what she did nor do I think her excuse was BS :shrug:
maybe she just wasnt feeling it yet . . everybody is different

i get the disappointment but it seems like you are judging her pretty harshly, im guessing you dont like her that much and you are just looking to get laid .. so id move on if i was you and find somebody looking for the same

Exactly what I'm doing, except I'm not closing myself off to her as a friend if she wants to continue just to text/phone.

 

[VanceMack]

3 dates, known her and have spoken with her either by phone or by text every day since October of 2018. You're just wrong. Don't speak about something you don't know anything about, friend.

3 whole dates and she doesnt want to jump in the sack with you? Even with a date that included dinner and a movie at the same venue? From your conversation here...I'm shocked. Stunned I say. I cant imagine you dont have a problem with women just throwing their panties at you when you walk down the street.

Yeah. SHE needs therapy.

 

[ecofarm]

Lurch should cut his losses.

Relationships that don't become sex are a loss? If one values relationships so little, it's hard to believe anyone else should.

 

[lurchadams]

As a guy - I do NOT think you misread the signals. But I also think she had the right to react as she did since until its done its not final.

Perhaps she flirted in there own mind with taking things up a notch but then had second thoughts when it looked like it was happening?

That's fine if that's what was happening, but that's not what she said. She said she didn't know me well enough, which is bull****, and that she wasn't ready which I agree with. I don't she'll ever be ready until she speaks with someone regarding her sexual anxieties.

 

[haymarket]

That's fine if that's what was happening, but that's not what she said. She said she didn't know me well enough, which is bull****, and that she wasn't ready which I agree with. I don't she'll ever be ready until she speaks with someone regarding her sexual anxieties.

I would not put so much emphasis on the words used at the time. People say things.

And I would not be so harsh to judge that she has sexual anxieties based on this one event.

 

[ecofarm]

 

[lurchadams]

I don't think you're getting me. This is not about sex. This is about becoming comfortable and the conversations that need to take place first. It's that conversation she's not ready for.

It's not that she's not ready for sex. It's that she's not ready to share something first.

Okay, well. Then with the next guy she sees perhaps they will both be, "on the same page" with regard to when the right time is to become intimate. I truly hope that for her, I'm just not optimistic she's going to find that man.

 

[lurchadams]

You say she has a different perspective on intimacy and then you immediately assume she's "terrified". Why? Why is she "terrified" just because she doesn't think like you?

Because I saw the look on her face when I tried to take her to bed. You weren't there. You don't have a clue what you're talking about, Jos. I'm sorry, but you don't.

 

[lurchadams]

Um, no. I think you should never call her or text her again. Hopefully she'll find a man who respects her, listens to her and understands that she might think differently than him and that's perfectly normal.

And I hope the same for her. On that, we agree!

 

[ecofarm]

Okay, well. Then with the next guy she sees perhaps they will both be, "on the same page" with regard to when the right time is to become intimate. I truly hope that for her, I'm just not optimistic she's going to find that man.

You're being insensitive. She surely floated the issue, whatever it is, in the past and you responded poorly. You don't have clue what it could be because you don't remember what she floated and then reacted negatively towards your reaction. At this point, how do you become a listener and confidant? You'd have to assure her that whatever response you gave to the float was off-hand and somehow convince her that you get sexual trepidation and wanting to get past stuff before moving forward.

I don't think that'll happen. I don't think that's you (at least not right now). She's not in the fast lane. Pass.

 

[SDET]

That's fine if that's what was happening, but that's not what she said. She said she didn't know me well enough, which is bull****, and that she wasn't ready which I agree with. I don't she'll ever be ready until she speaks with someone regarding her sexual anxieties.

Allow me to translate: She doesn't know you well enough = She hasn't gotten enough free meals out of you yet. She WILL be ready when she meets someone from whom to find enough assets to take in marriage and divorce.

 

[lurchadams]

It's not sex or intimacy she appeared terrified of. It's what she's gotta tell ya. Could be personal hang ups or an std or vestigial penis (I joke). But it's something that's serious to her, and it's something that could be a deal breaker. And she's scared to tell you.

Well, then before she continues to subscribe to several dating sites (I'm only on one) she should first work out these hang ups. If it's something physiological, ya, I guess that could be, but what should I then do? Continue to date her and NOT have sex with her?

I'm not sure what you want me to do, here, friend.

 

[lurchadams]

3 whole dates and she doesnt want to jump in the sack with you? Even with a date that included dinner and a movie at the same venue? From your conversation here...I'm shocked. Stunned I say. I cant imagine you dont have a problem with women just throwing their panties at you when you walk down the street.

Yeah. SHE needs therapy.

And now you're going on ignore. Should have done it a long, long time ago.

 

[ecofarm]

Well, then before she continues to subscribe to several dating sites (I'm only on one) she should first work out these hang ups. If it's something physiological, ya, I guess that could be, but what should I then do? Continue to date her and NOT have sex with her?

I'm not sure what you want me to do, here, friend.

You probably got a few notifies at once. Post 163 is my advice.

 

[lurchadams]

I would not put so much emphasis on the words used at the time. People say things.

And I would not be so harsh to judge that she has sexual anxieties based on this one event.

Ok, so what would you have me do?

 

[lurchadams]

You're being insensitive. She surely floated the issue, whatever it is, in the past and you responded poorly. You don't have clue what it could be because you don't remember what she floated and then reacted negatively towards your reaction. At this point, how do you become a listener and confidant? You'd have to assure her that whatever response you gave to the float was off-hand and somehow convince her that you get sexual trepidation and wanting to get past stuff before moving forward.

I don't think that'll happen. I don't think that's you (at least not right now). She's not in the fast lane. Pass.

I stopped reading though your first paragraph because I truly don't understand what you are talking about.

"Didn't remember something she floated past me?"

I beg of you to elaborate!

 

[ecofarm]

I stopped reading though your first paragraph because I truly don't understand what you are talking about.

"Didn't remember something she floated past me?"

I beg of you to elaborate!

Whatever the issue is, she brought it up in the past but not directly and not in a way you'd think had anything to do with her. She floated the issue. Your reaction then is feeding her insecurity about whatever it is.

Now you either commit to her emotional comfort, and fix whatever you were insensitive about, or get back in top gear and on down the road.

I suggest you reread it in this light because I'm right.

 

[lurchadams]

Allow me to translate: She doesn't know you well enough = She hasn't gotten enough free meals out of you yet. She WILL be ready when she meets someone from whom to find enough assets to take in marriage and divorce.

No. Just no. Sheri's not like that. She's NOT selfish. She's very nice person. Like most of us, she's got some issues she needs to address.

You, most of all should understand that some people have issues regarding interactions with the opposite sex. I wish you the best with yours.

 

[lurchadams]

Whatever the issue is, she brought it up in the past but not directly and not in a way you'd think had anything to do with her. She floated the issue. Your reaction then is feeding her insecurity about whatever it is.

Now you either commit to her emotional comfort, and fix whatever you were insensitive about, or get back in top gear and on down the road.

I suggest you reread it in this light because I'm right.

I have no clue what you're talking about. I'm really sorry. Thanks for trying to elaborate.

 

[ecofarm]

I have no clue what you're talking about. I'm really sorry. Thanks for trying to elaborate.

Allow me to leave you with this: her reaction was not about sex.

Good luck.

 

[Josie]

Notice how he created this thread asking women their opinions and then when we did he said, "Nuh uh! You're wrong!" So he wasn't really asking our opinions unless we agreed with him. Much like he doesn't respect this lady because she doesn't agree with him.

 

[lurchadams]

Allow me to leave you with this: her reaction was not about sex.

Good luck.

You, know eco. I HAVE been happy with my "luck". I've met several women, with one of whom I'm having an all-around really great time with.

I am NOT an incel who doesn't know how to relate with women. I'm just going to have to ask you to take a leap of faith and believe me here. I'm a socially acceptable human being who treats all people I meet, including women, with respect. Believe it, don't believe it that part's out of my control.

I'm sorry I've upset you so and several others.