Women - What are you feelings about "giving away the milk for free".

[trixare4kids]

Doing great, thanks. SDUT is dead, for all intents and purposes. I moved down to Arizona this past fall.


OM

That's quite a change for you! Hope you are enjoying the nice weather.
I still read over there from time to time... some things never change. :roll:

 

[Superfly]

This was fun.

Yeah, about as fun as a tax audit.

 

[Mach]

Men like the O/P are their own worst enemies.

Men like him are the last to know that they really are creeps.

Is this your new method of attacking people personally but trying to stay just below the infraction threshold? I'm curious if we can all start using that. I have a lot to say about "people like you". Why not just focus on his posts instead of getting so ****ing nasty about him personally?

 

[SDET]

Men like him are the last to know that they really are creeps.

Let's take this from another angle. One way not to be a "creep" (isn't that a capital offense?) is to not bother with targets that don't have a good chance of success. If almost any American guy were to start hitting on the checkout girl at the supermarket in places like Bogota, Manaus, Asuncion or Havana he has a better than even chance of scoring. I'm not claiming to be "all that and a bag of chips". It just pains me to watch guys try to break down a brick wall with their skull. Life is too short for that kind of frustration.

 

[Praxas]

I think she need therapy because she fears intimacy. It's my honest opinion. Sorry you're so upset, friend!

I’m not upset, you are hence why you posted this thread because some woman didn’t put out for you like you think she should. I’m happily married thank you.

 

[SDET]

Is this your new method of attacking people personally but trying to stay just below the infraction threshold? I'm curious if we can all start using that. I have a lot to say about "people like you". Why not just focus on his posts instead of getting so ****ing nasty about him personally?

:applaud:applaud:applaud

 

[Winston]

ain't no shame in going home and rubbing one out. greater men have done the same.

 

[Harshaw]

:lol:

Sure, you know all about women. That's why you are on this board asking for women's perspectives and not out there getting some.

 

[Trippy Trekker]

Feel some Love Lurch!

Picture a divorced 58 year old professionally employed alpha-male, with well-rounded interests and a fun-loving personality. He pays child support and maintains a healthy relationship with his children. They still live close by.

Within the past few months: he committed to a gym, joined a dating site and led his friend and co-worker, Cal, into attending AA meetings.

The dating site has produced dates. So far, none of the dates have turned into "the one". A recent date, who over the course of several months seemed to get to know him well, went all weird on him after giving him one green light after another. He creates a thread in DP hoping some of the members, particularly women, would give him insight into why this date went "all weird" on him. The answers did not scratch his itch.

My advice: he should focus on T.I.M.E (things I must earn), maintain routine, confidence and competence... and listen to the following song -



Lurch, kiss the lips of another woman.... and forget all about that woman who went "all weird" on you!

 

[VanceMack]

I disagree with you, sir. I'm saying the very concept - that a woman who decides to have sex with a man is, "putting out" - by your meaning it is only the MAN who appreciates sex and the woman should be shamed for enjoying sex.

That's 1940's thinking my friend. Look into being enlightened, sir.

No...you are here peeing yourself in a pretty embarrassing public display because a woman didnt put out for you after three whole dates and to you that indicates there is something wrong with her. The mere fact that damn near everyone here has tried to help you see that and you continue to stomp your feet and insist you are right speaks volumes of you.

 

[gdgyva]

I'm 58 years old. I had a date Saturday night with a 53 year-old woman I've been communicating with for several months. Saturday was our third date - I took her to see, "Bohemian Rhapsody" at a movie theater that serves you drinks and dinner during the movie. It was pretty cool. But I just went off on a tangent.

So we get back to her place. She tells me her 2 kids that live with her are staying at a hotel overnight and would I like to come in. So I assumed at that point - her telling me her kids were gone - inviting me in - the fact it was our third date - I assumed she was inviting me in to spend the night.

So we're on her couch, we're talking for a bit, then I start to kiss her. She pulls back. I ask her how long it's been since she's been with someone. She tells me a very long time. I tell her not to worry, I'll take care of everything, then I gently take her hands and try to get her started towards her bedroom. She pulls back again and says, "No, I'm NOT READY!". I ask her, gently why she thinks that is. She tells me she "doesn't know me well enough". This woman and I have been talking for months. She knows my family - where I went to school. She knows who my friends are. We're facebook friends. In my opinion this woman knows me better than most women do when they first decide they want to have sex with a guy.

So the "not knowing me well enough" excuse was bull****.

I don't understand why this chick is even on a dating site if she has such a puritanical and unhealthy outlook on sex. She needs to get off the dating site and get into therapy for her anxiety about human intimacy in my opinion or her cycle of being disappointed and disappointing men is going to continue.

So my question is to the ladies:

It's been possibly years since you've been intimate with a guy. You're sitting on a couch with a guy you're obviously interested in. He wants to sleep with you. What in the world was this girl thinking? Why the **** is she even on a dating site?

Thanks.

So third date is it for you?

Either they are ready, or they aren’t?

Seems like you may be the one that needs a little help....

Women are different.....some feel very easy about sex, some are way more puritanical as you said....there isn’t a specific timeframe that meets all their needs

If it is worth waiting for to you is the only question....and how much pressure you want to exert.....

 

[ecofarm]

ain't no shame in going home and rubbing one out. greater men have done the same.

What do you know? Greater men rub one out before they hit the Bell on the way home.

 

[SDET]

 

[lurchadams]

I think you're the one who needs therapy.
She said NO, and you're still whining about it.
Women don't owe you sex.
Go find a blowup doll.

I wish I could find a blowup doll is was a facsimile of YOU, my sweet love!

 

[SDET]

So third date is it for you?

Either they are ready, or they aren’t?

Seems like you may be the one that needs a little help....

Women are different.....some feel very easy about sex, some are way more puritanical as you said....there isn’t a specific timeframe that meets all their needs

If it is worth waiting for to you is the only question....and how much pressure you want to exert.....

Many are stingy with it and use it on an ongoing basis to find a chump to sponge off of. EVEN IF he scores, it could be an "introductory offer" where she extracts more and more for it. Lurch should cut his losses.

 

[lurchadams]

It's also not honest for a man to act like he knows exactly how 98% of women think.

All I have is my life experience to guide me regarding how mature people with a healthy perspective on human sexuality should behave. So you're saying a majority of women would refuse to have sex with a man because, although they've know a man for 3 months and is interested and attracted to him she would deny herself sex because society says that make her a "slut".

I hear what you're saying I just need to point out again, I think your "knee-jerk" reflex to project women, especially emotional damaged once like this gal from horrible men like me.

It's unfortunate and dishonest of you to behave that way, IMO. But please - you continue to be you.

 

[AGENT J]

I'm 58 years old. I had a date Saturday night with a 53 year-old woman I've been communicating with for several months. Saturday was our third date - I took her to see, "Bohemian Rhapsody" at a movie theater that serves you drinks and dinner during the movie. It was pretty cool. But I just went off on a tangent.

So we get back to her place. She tells me her 2 kids that live with her are staying at a hotel overnight and would I like to come in. So I assumed at that point - her telling me her kids were gone - inviting me in - the fact it was our third date - I assumed she was inviting me in to spend the night.

So we're on her couch, we're talking for a bit, then I start to kiss her. She pulls back. I ask her how long it's been since she's been with someone. She tells me a very long time. I tell her not to worry, I'll take care of everything, then I gently take her hands and try to get her started towards her bedroom. She pulls back again and says, "No, I'm NOT READY!". I ask her, gently why she thinks that is. She tells me she "doesn't know me well enough". This woman and I have been talking for months. She knows my family - where I went to school. She knows who my friends are. We're facebook friends. In my opinion this woman knows me better than most women do when they first decide they want to have sex with a guy.

So the "not knowing me well enough" excuse was bull****.

I don't understand why this chick is even on a dating site if she has such a puritanical and unhealthy outlook on sex. She needs to get off the dating site and get into therapy for her anxiety about human intimacy in my opinion or her cycle of being disappointed and disappointing men is going to continue.

So my question is to the ladies:

It's been possibly years since you've been intimate with a guy. You're sitting on a couch with a guy you're obviously interested in. He wants to sleep with you. What in the world was this girl thinking? Why the **** is she even on a dating site?

Thanks.

Wow . . . while i agree it seemed the signs were there that it could be possible moving to the next level i dont see anything wrong with what she did nor do I think her excuse was BS :shrug:
maybe she just wasnt feeling it yet . . everybody is different

i get the disappointment but it seems like you are judging her pretty harshly, im guessing you dont like her that much and you are just looking to get laid .. so id move on if i was you and find somebody looking for the same

 

[lurchadams]

Stop messing with all these people. I gave you the answer. Everyone is ready for sex all the time. First thing in the morning, after breakfast, lunch, dinner... you get the idea... with strangers. We're all ready to do it. We all wanna do it.

She needs to talk about some stuff first, and she doesn't know you well enough (actually, isn't totally confident yet) to be vulnerable like that.

And as I've said several times in this thread, women who don't know me near as well as this gal from Saturday have had sex with me. That's the way I've seen people behave. Perhaps Seattle is "slut central" and until Sherri the other night, I've just been hanging out with sluts.

You are just so wrong, my friend.

 

[lurchadams]

Women are not a monolith. We have different perspectives and desires. Especially when it comes to sex and relationships.

I understand that, Gov. I really, really do. This woman has a different perspective on intimacy. She's terrified of it. She needs help, in my opinion or history will repeat itself the next time she brings a guy home. I'm certain of this. If you think I'm being arrogant, I'm sorry. I should have seen the look on her face when I tried to take her to bed. She was TERRIFIED. That's not normal for someone of her age and status.

 

[lurchadams]

*massive eyeroll*

You have numerous women here telling you that you're wrong. You have men telling you that you are in the wrong. Yet you still think you're the only one who is right.

That lady needs to run. Quickly.

She doesn't need to run, Jos. I'm not going to be seeing her anymore. I offered to be a resource for her if she wants to text or call me for perspectives on things that are happening with her in her life and what's happening with her and her kids, WHICH IS WHAT WE'VE BEEN DOING SINCE OCTOBER OF 2018. I told her I'm not abandoning her, that I just don't think we are compatible. What else would you have me do? Remain in the relationship and continue to date her and be patient that for 2 or 3 more years until we finally consummate our relationship?

You're just being ridiculous if that's what you truly think. Get real

 

[haymarket]

As a guy - I do NOT think you misread the signals. But I also think she had the right to react as she did since until its done its not final.

Perhaps she flirted in there own mind with taking things up a notch but then had second thoughts when it looked like it was happening?

 

[ecofarm]

And as I've said several times in this thread, women who don't know me near as well as this gal from Saturday have had sex with me. That's the way I've seen people behave. Perhaps Seattle is "slut central" and until Sherri the other night, I've just been hanging out with sluts.

You are just so wrong, my friend.

I don't think you're getting me. This is not about sex. This is about becoming comfortable and the conversations that need to take place first. It's that conversation she's not ready for.

It's not that she's not ready for sex. It's that she's not ready to share something first.

 

[Josie]

I understand that, Gov. I really, really do. This woman has a different perspective on intimacy. She's terrified of it. She needs help, in my opinion or history will repeat itself the next time she brings a guy home. I'm certain of this. If you think I'm being arrogant, I'm sorry. I should have seen the look on her face when I tried to take her to bed. She was TERRIFIED. That's not normal for someone of her age and status.

You say she has a different perspective on intimacy and then you immediately assume she's "terrified". Why? Why is she "terrified" just because she doesn't think like you?

 

[Josie]

She doesn't need to run, Jos. I'm not going to be seeing her anymore. I offered to be a resource for her if she wants to text or call me for perspectives on things that are happening with her in her life and what's happening with her and her kids, WHICH IS WHAT WE'VE BEEN DOING SINCE OCTOBER OF 2018. I told her I'm not abandoning her, that I just don't think we are compatible. What else would you have me do? Remain in the relationship and continue to date her and be patient that for 2 or 3 more years until we finally consummate our relationship?

You're just being ridiculous if that's what you truly think. Get real

Um, no. I think you should never call her or text her again. Hopefully she'll find a man who respects her, listens to her and understands that she might think differently than him and that's perfectly normal.

 

[lurchadams]

I’m not upset, you are hence why you posted this thread because some woman didn’t put out for you like you think she should. I’m happily married thank you.

Good. I you're happily married and not dating now you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. But please, keep on talking out your ass.