Mach
DP Veteran
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2006
- Messages
- 27,745
- Reaction score
- 24,087
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Slightly Liberal
Happens to everyone, often from both angles. Ya, it sucks. But you should feel good she ended it so quickly! Remember, there are people that find out this after 5 years of marriage and a kid and lose 1/2 their life's wealth...you got off with barely a scratch feel good about that!So, for the past month and a half I've went out with this girl who I liked, and who I thought liked me. Everything was going well, we would text every day multiple times, and when we hung out, we always had fun (or so I thought), and talked for hours. Her roommates even said she talked about me to them all the time.
It's not personal. It's not her, or you, it simply doesn't work for everyone. That's a fact. And a lot of it is subconscious...genetic even. Your job isn't to make someone like you, it's to find a good match. If they are your match, but you are not theirs...nothing to be done about that...no harm no foul. Maybe you were born with Key A, and she's Lock B. Is it your fault? Hers? Neither really, just a mismatch. It's not like you wrecked her car and then broke her arm and she's like "enough!! "
You did fine though all things considered, brought it to the discussion and got the truth fairly quickly, didn't get all crazy needy or pushy...hopefully was gracious and kept your cool. Could have been a lot worse. You can be generous but don't be overly so. It's all a dance. You take a step, she takes a step. You open up a little, she opens up a little. If she starts taking steps back, let her...see if it changes, if not, then call it quits. And that's pretty much what you did.
So to rate it in an overly anayltic way, compared to the spectrum of failed relationships:
- I rate your handling of it "good"
- I rate the overall damage done "very minimal" (could be divorce/kids/50% of net worth!!)
And I wish you good fortune. The feeling stuff hurts but it passes.