What is the ideal age gap between husband and wife?

[Puigb]

That's the exact age difference between my husband and myself, and it has caused no issues for us. Up until very recently, he was very healthy and in great shape. But cancer will hit you even if you are young and without a care in the world, so I can't say that it has anything to do with age.

Sorry to hear this. I will say that I personally believe age gaps of more than 10 years tend to not work often largely due to generational differences. But there are obviously some exceptions (you and your husband, and the couple I know).

 

[Kal'Stang]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

Puts the man as the leader? And you willingly watched it? That just shows what kind of person you are.

In answer to your question.... Age does not matter, unless you're a cheese. ~ Helen Hayes

 

[Superfly]

Sorry to hear this. I will say that I personally believe age gaps of more than 10 years tend to not work often largely due to generational differences. But there are obviously some exceptions (you and your husband, and the couple I know).

Well, I won't say that the generational differences don't make for wonderful arguments about child-rearing. See, not only is he older than me, he is also retired Army, so he runs (or tries to run) his house like a military outfit. Unfortunately for him, it doesn't work out that way most of the time. :lol:

And when he sits down to watch that Starz Westerns channel, I usually just get up and find something to dust, or I start playing a video game.

 

[Bum]

Well, I won't say that the generational differences don't make for wonderful arguments about child-rearing. See, not only is he older than me, he is also retired Army, so he runs (or tries to run) his house like a military outfit. Unfortunately for him, it doesn't work out that way most of the time. :lol:

And when he sits down to watch that Starz Westerns channel, I usually just get up and find something to dust, or I start playing a video game.

My wife prefers to go dig in her garden, or start potting plants in the garage......I will admit to being guilty about trying to run the house like a Battalion, and my wife tells me the only reason she hadn't killed me in my sleep is because I work overseas, and she needs me to do the heavy lifting occasionally when I am home.

:wink:

 

[charliebrown]

If marriage is ideal love and until death do you part, then I would wish the age difference between a husband and wife be equivalent to the point in which they will both die together.

 

[Rickeroo]

Proportional. It would be hard to get along with a wife that doesn't know who Bill and Ted are.

 

[SDET]

Proportional. It would be hard to get along with a wife that doesn't know who Bill and Ted are.

What proportion? Your reply would suggest 80 to 90 percent of your age. Is that right?

 

[Superfly]

My wife prefers to go dig in her garden, or start potting plants in the garage......I will admit to being guilty about trying to run the house like a Battalion, and my wife tells me the only reason she hadn't killed me in my sleep is because I work overseas, and she needs me to do the heavy lifting occasionally when I am home.

:wink:

:lol: :lol: YES!

 

[Superfly]

Proportional. It would be hard to get along with a wife that doesn't know who Bill and Ted are.

That is one thing that my husband and I differ on, but I don't know if it's because of our age, or just our likes and dislikes. I like movies. Like a lot. I can quote my favorite movies almost verbatim, and can watch them over and over. He cannot. It's frustrating sometimes when I, for instance, laugh at Duff Goldman on Food Network, when he says, "AAAAHHH! Tension breaker! HAD to be done!" and my husband looks at me like I have a 3rd eye. I'm like, "Don't you get that??"

 

[ALiberalModerate]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

Why does the man need to be a mentor and the "leader"?

 

[Superfly]

Why does the man need to be a mentor and the "leader"?

Because SDET only likes women who do exactly as he says, and is subservient to his every whim.

 

[ttwtt78640]

Because SDET only likes women who do exactly as he says, and is subservient to his every whim.

Not much of a basis for a decent partnership, much less a marriage.

 

[Superfly]

Not much of a basis for a decent partnership, much less a marriage.

Oh he has no problems telling you allllll about it, either. He hates American women, and prefers (IIRC) south American women, because they do what he tells them to.

 

[ttwtt78640]

Oh he has no problems telling you allllll about it, either. He hates American women, and prefers (IIRC) south American women, because they do what he tells them to.

To me that would be a sad and lonely way to live. For undying loyalty, I have dogs.

 

[SMTA]

This is not a political topic.

Ages should be proportional. While there may be a significant age gap assuming one of the two is not a barely legal youth, to great an age gap is problematical, particularly if young children and/or a baby are going to come into the picture.

See no reason to debate you on the man inherently as the leader.

Learn to read and comprehend.
It was not addressed as a political issue.

 

[Superfly]

To me that would be a sad and lonely way to live. For undying loyalty, I have dogs.

Right? Same here. I don't want a lap dog. I won't have a man who won't fight with me. :lol:

 

[SMTA]

Because SDET only likes women who do exactly as he says, and is subservient to his every whim.

And he will always be single and wonder why.

 

[Rickeroo]

What proportion? Your reply would suggest 80 to 90 percent of your age. Is that right?

Within a small percentage either way, ballpark 90 to 110%. We would have needed to have some of age in the same era. I can't be into early Van Halen while the wife is onto Pearl Jam, that's a 10 year difference - too much.

 

[Rickeroo]

That is one thing that my husband and I differ on, but I don't know if it's because of our age, or just our likes and dislikes. I like movies. Like a lot. I can quote my favorite movies almost verbatim, and can watch them over and over. He cannot. It's frustrating sometimes when I, for instance, laugh at Duff Goldman on Food Network, when he says, "AAAAHHH! Tension breaker! HAD to be done!" and my husband looks at me like I have a 3rd eye. I'm like, "Don't you get that??"

I think that with increased age difference there comes an increased chance that you like different things. Of course that's not saying that a large age difference can't work.

 

[Superfly]

I think that with increased age difference there comes an increased chance that you like different things. Of course that's not saying that a large age difference can't work.

Nope. That's for sure. Pretty large age difference in Hubs and me, and it's worked for -- well, it will be 23 years in June. Just minor frustrations between the two of us, but nothing that can't be fixed.

 

[SDET]

Right? Same here. I don't want a lap dog. I won't have a man who won't fight with me. :lol:

What do you mean by "fight with you"? Does that mean one that actively participates in your drama or just waits until you're finished with your temper tantrum. There are many ways not to fight. Many men just become doormats. Ignoring temper tantrums is just part of the package when marrying a younger woman. Only stupid men reward those temper tantrums. However if it becomes more serious than that by doing things like interfering with his sleep, then it's time to kick her to the curb.

 

[SDET]

I think that with increased age difference there comes an increased chance that you like different things. Of course that's not saying that a large age difference can't work.

Men and women don't have much in common. Expecting there to be commonality is just setting yourself up for failure.

 

[Superfly]

What do you mean by "fight with you"? Does that mean one that actively participates in your drama or just waits until you're finished with your temper tantrum. There are many ways not to fight. Many men just become doormats. Ignoring temper tantrums is just part of the package when marrying a younger woman. Only stupid men reward those temper tantrums. However if it becomes more serious than that by doing things like interfering with his sleep, then it's time to kick her to the curb.

Spanky and Alfalfa called. You're late to the meeting.

 

[jimbo]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

IMO there's no ideal. The mentoring logic seems absurd.

 

[Lursa]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

This presumes that all men would make better leaders in a relationship.

I've seen little to support that.