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Except you seem to be confused as to who is the bully here. YOU are the one spouting abusive language and feigning offense over minor things (for which you were not even present).
No one is hurt if people jokingly use racial slurs or stereotypes around their friends, whom they know won't be offended.
If you say things in private that you would not say in public? You are doing something wrong and it means you know it. You would say certain things to your roommate because it is so funny. HAHA Look at me we can be cute and racst but would not say it on street as you know it would cause a problem and is wrong.
I just used the term whitebread in another thread and would say it to ANY white person! That is the difference.