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Well, I finally faced hate. A personal story.

Renae said:
They are in violation of anti-discrimination rules of the US Bowling Congress, but yeah... should hold them accountable...
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If so, make a formal protest to that organization.
 
Renae said:
Yeah, cause when you're wronged, you should just say "golly, I deserved this"
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Again, why is it wrong for someone to not want to hang out with you?? That's my point. Go hang with others who are like minded!
 
Amelia said:
Also, I hope you don't let them talk you out of standing up for your rights. Someone down the road will thank you. And the haters shouldn't get to play without any black marks against them for rules violations while you are sidelined because the league doesn't want you to rock the boat.
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What rights of his/hers have been violated? He/she is still allowed to bowl there, correct? Some people simply do not want him/her on their team. And why would he/she WANT to be on a team that doesn't feel comfortable with him/her? To "shove it down their throats", to "get revenge"? What is the point?

Bowl. With other people who you like and like you. Simple.
 
Casado said:
Again, why is it wrong for someone to not want to hang out with you?? That's my point. Go hang with others who are like minded!
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They had weeks to talk to me about it, when I said this I now HAVE to do, and I do, they went behind my back. So... whatever, I won't be bowling with them, I'll file a grievance and get them banned from USBC and that will be that.
 
Renae said:
They had weeks to talk to me about it, when I said this I now HAVE to do, and I do, they went behind my back. So... whatever, I won't be bowling with them, I'll file a grievance and get them banned from USBC and that will be that.
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Throwing a tantrum because they didn't let you sit at the cool kids table, so to speak, is a huge part of what is wrong with this country. Drama queen.
 
Excon said:
It appears you have that backasswards.

Did you not try to change things to that which they were not amenable? As they do not have to be accepting, that is on you.
Then it was you who went on to try and actually cause them harm.
Yeah, backasswards.
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No excon, I could walk a little old lady across the street in traffic and you'd find some issue with it.

I told them DAY ONE, I'm MTF, I wanted to do this slowly, and Renae would start bowling soon.
I showed pictures, explained why, who what, every thing.

Then, last night I said "Next week, Renae will start bowling".
they went to the league after I left, and said "We don't want that on our team."

So, I'm sure for you I did just EVERYTHING wrong... right?
 
Casado said:
Throwing a tantrum because they didn't let you sit at the cool kids table, so to speak, is a huge part of what is wrong with this country. Drama queen.
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There is no need for the personal attacks. You don't care to understand the entire situation, and insulting me merely shows you are incapable of reasoned discussion.
 
Renae said:
There is no need for the personal attacks. You don't care to understand the entire situation, and insulting me merely shows you are incapable of reasoned discussion.
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I understand completely. You are transgender and want everyone else to accept it and like you. If we/they don't, you will report us all to the "proper authorities" as revenge. You all speak about equality, but refuse to offer us the same courtesy.
 
Renae said:
No excon, I could walk a little old lady across the street in traffic and you'd find some issue with it.
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No.
But if you did it wrongly I would, as most folks would.
What I would not do is fault your intent to help.


Renae said:
I told them DAY ONE, I'm MTF, I wanted to do this slowly, and Renae would start bowling soon.
I showed pictures, explained why, who what, every thing.

Then, last night I said "Next week, Renae will start bowling".
they went to the league after I left, and said "We don't want that on our team."
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Thank you for providing more detail.


Renae said:
So, I'm sure for you I did just EVERYTHING wrong... right?
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Did I say "everything" or was I specific to that which I was addressing?
I am pretty sure I was specific. Let me check ... Yep I was specific.

Your additional details do not change what I stated in regards to the specifics.
From what I am reading; You thought that because you initially stated how you wanted things to progress, and that they initially acknowledged/accepted/agreed, that everything should be kosher. Is that correct?
 
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joko104 said:
If they won't let Renae play on a mixed team it is bigotry. Being in Texas, there's nothing legally she can do about. She could go to the LGBT organization she says she's a member of and possibly they would organize a protest, but that doesn't accomplish Renae's goal of competition bowling. Renae has a right to be angry about this.
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She has recourse within the bowling organization.

You already read that.

The league secretary is asking her not to take that recourse because the haters will hate her more than they already do. That's a chicken**** response from the league secretary.
 
Casado said:
I understand completely. You are transgender and want everyone else to accept it and like you. If we/they don't, you will report us all to the "proper authorities" as revenge. You all speak about equality, but refuse to offer us the same courtesy.
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No dumbass, just accept her, they don't have to like her. That's unlikely for other reasons.
 
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Truckstop said:
No dumbass, just accept him, they don't have to like him. That's unlikely for other reasons.
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And there go the personal attacks. ;) But anyway - I stand by what I said. He wants us to accept him/her and let him sit at the cool kids table. When we don't, he runs to tell.
 
Casado said:
I understand completely. You are transgender and want everyone else to accept it and like you. If we/they don't, you will report us all to the "proper authorities" as revenge. You all speak about equality, but refuse to offer us the same courtesy.
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ACtually, if they had talked to me, we might have come to a reasonable moment, they didn't give me that chance.
 
Casado said:
And there go the personal attacks. ;) But anyway - I stand by what I said. He wants us to accept him/her and let him sit at the cool kids table. When we don't, he runs to tell.
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Why did you change the her to him? Aside to be very insulting?
 
Renae said:
Why did you change the her to him? Aside to be very insulting?
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No insult intended at all. I am simply as confused about the gender as the individual him/herself.
 
Amelia said:
She has recourse within the bowling organization.

You already read that.

The league secretary is asking her not to take that recourse because the haters will hate her more than they already do. That's a chicken**** response from the league secretary.
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Yeah, I am debating what to do. I might just drop that official USBC grievance. Because:
They didn't bother to talk to me, they said nothing about having a problem with Renae. Until I had left
They didn't bother to address the situation the right way. They made this happen, not me.
 
Renae said:
They are in violation of anti-discrimination rules of the US Bowling Congress, but yeah... should hold them accountable...
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Are you being told that you CAN'T play? If someone decides not to show up because you play, it doesn't matter why they don't show up. In which case, you're playing and they are not.
 
Casado said:
No insult intended at all. I am simply as confused about the gender as the individual him/herself.
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I am Renae. I am Trans, Male to Female. 95% of the time, I am out and living as Renae, well now 100% after the latest milestone with my therapist. Just to clear that up.
 
SDET said:
Are you being told that you CAN'T play? If someone decides not to show up because you play, it doesn't matter why they don't show up. In which case, you're playing and they are not.
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They informed the league they had a new player to take my spot, I just learned that.

In the end, I learned a lesson. And I will be a better, stronger person for it. That being said, thank you all who gave kind words of support, and even sage advice. Those that just thought this was a great time to play other word games, I pity you, and will pray you change your ways.
 
Renae said:
They informed the league they had a new player to take my spot, I just learned that.
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Then it's no longer some people expressing their opinion. You have a specific remedy to pursue.
 
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Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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Just remember, we humans come in many flavors.....you are one and a$$holes are another. They do not care what you think and you should return the favor.
 
Not everyone will like you, I guess this is so true. I am so sorry to hear about the rejection that you have to face. The best thing to do now is to move on and find people who will accept you for the choices that you made in life. Stay strong.
 
Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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Intolerance & ignorance suck.

Good reminder, eh?
 
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