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Well, I finally faced hate. A personal story.

americanwoman said:
Hey, I love to bowl, it's a lot of fun. In fact I just went on Saturday and had a great time.
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You also admit to watching reality TV, so I'm not sure if we can completely trust your qualitative assessment of entertainment.

lol

j/k
 
LosAngelesAngel said:
~ Actually you had to find out at some point - a sneaky rude way tells you they are not who you should be with.
Try not to think revenge - just understanding they are that way for a reason. As the saying goes - "They have issues". Don't let their shortcomings make you a vengeful person. You'll be fine in time ...:2wave:
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Oh no, From hells hot, I spit my last breath at thee levels here.

I.E. I've made contact with the House General Manager, I'm gathering the information I need to file a FORMAL USBC grievance and my end game is to get my TEAM banned from the bowling alley and kicked out of the USBC.

Ignorance and bigotry must be fought. I shall not back down, I shall not run away.
 
Casado said:
I'm probably going to get flamed, but...... Out of curiosity, why do you perceive their not wanting to bowl with you as "hate"? Maybe your sexuality issues goes against their beliefs. If so, what is wrong with that? Just because someone doesn't agree with you does not make it hate. Why are they not allowed to choose who they want to spend time with?
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So if my wife was black and they didn't want me on the team cause they didn't like interracial couples, would you say the same thing?
 
Update, after speaking with the House GM, and the League Secretary...

The League Sec wants me to NOT file a formal grievance, as that might make people hate me more....
 
Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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I still contend that I'm not missing anything being unable to interact with people on a social basis. Simulating it with memorized scripts is good enough. Life is so much simpler on a transactional basis. Just find a different bowling team: problem solved.
 
Renae said:
Oh no, From hells hot, I spit my last breath at thee levels here.

I.E. I've made contact with the House General Manager, I'm gathering the information I need to file a FORMAL USBC grievance and my end game is to get my TEAM banned from the bowling alley and kicked out of the USBC.

Ignorance and bigotry must be fought. I shall not back down, I shall not run away.
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You should in advance time box this and decide what a reasonable amount of energy is spent on this. Doing otherwise will impede you from living your life.
 
Renae said:
So if my wife was black and they didn't want me on the team cause they didn't like interracial couples, would you say the same thing?
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If your wife were black and so on, I'd say, why get upset and want revenge? Move on.

Skin color and behavior are 2 entirely different things.

Again, I ask...... where do you see hatred? And why are they not allowed to choose who to hang out with?
 
Renae said:
Update, after speaking with the House GM, and the League Secretary...

The League Sec wants me to NOT file a formal grievance, as that might make people hate me more....
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I can see why. You should not bully and threaten others simply because they dont want to play with you.
 
Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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How is that hate? Is there something they said that alludes to hate that you haven't revealed?


You are not entitled to acceptance, and as you are the one who wants to change the way things currently are, I can't fault their opposition.


The Eagles have a song that offers some good advice.
​



I realize you feel hurt, but that isn't going to get you anywhere.
If you can't get over it, go ahead and report it and get further ostracized, or get the best revenge by forming your own trans-team [SUP](the Transformers)[/SUP] and beat their butts.
 
Renae said:
Just bummed atm. I was finally getting me roll down, was ready to do this... meh. Ignorant peeps gotta steal that. Right now I'm in the "how do I exact revenge" phase.
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Take it from me, revenge is never the answer. When you strike back, it justifies their hate. It clears their conscience of wronging you. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but the best thing you can do is smile and move on.

.
 
Grim17 said:
Take it from me, revenge is never the answer. When you strike back, it justifies their hate. It clears their conscience of wronging you. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but the best thing you can do is smile and move on.

.
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While revenge is not the answer, letting bigotry stand unchallenged is not the answer either. While the motivation of 'revenge', using the official process to lodge a complaint is IMO a proper thing (even if hte 'revenge concept' is getting in the way.
 
Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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Hate? Is it really "hate?"

It is a men's team or mixed sex team? If a men's league/team, should you even be on the team? If you are the only female that would seem a problem if it is a men's only team only once you announced you are female, don't you think? If a men-only team, it would seem they had no choice once you declared you are "she."

Did he give you a reason? You assume in the thread the reason is because you are transgender and the team "hates" transgenders. Did he tell you that? Is it because it is a men-only team/league and you declared yourself to be female? I can understand the hurt, I really can, but this is a challenge you will always face if you continue to decide back and forth between being "he" and "she."

Transgender topics are a real challenge in any athletics. In sex segregated athletics, which do you say you are? Male or female? These are sincere questions.
 
joko104 said:
Hate? Is it really "hate?"

It is a men's team or mixed sex team? If a men's league/team, should you even be on the team? If you are the only female that would seem a problem if it is a men's only team only once you announced you are female, don't you think? If a men-only team, it would seem they had no choice once you declared you are "she."

Did he give you a reason? You assume in the thread the reason is because you are transgender and the team "hates" transgenders. Did he tell you that? Is it because it is a men-only team/league and you declared yourself to be female? I can understand the hurt, I really can, but this is a challenge you will always face if you continue to decide back and forth between being "he" and "she."

Transgender topics are a real challenge in any athletics. In sex segregated athletics, which do you say you are? Male or female? These are sincere questions.
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Mixed team, it was a she, and they knew for weeks bu when I said "I am going to be bowling as Renase starting next week" they went to the league and said "We are not comfortable with a man dressed as a woman bowling with us"


Any more fails you want to post Joko?
 
Casado said:
I can see why. You should not bully and threaten others simply because they dont want to play with you.
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Yeah, cause when you're wronged, you should just say "golly, I deserved this"
 
Grim17 said:
Take it from me, revenge is never the answer. When you strike back, it justifies their hate. It clears their conscience of wronging you. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but the best thing you can do is smile and move on.

.
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They are in violation of anti-discrimination rules of the US Bowling Congress, but yeah... should hold them accountable...
 
Renae said:
Update, after speaking with the House GM, and the League Secretary...

The League Sec wants me to NOT file a formal grievance, as that might make people hate me more....
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Do they have an answer which lets you play?

Because making haters hate you more doesn't seem like that big of a deal if you still don't get to play either way.

Also, I hope you don't let them talk you out of standing up for your rights. Someone down the road will thank you. And the haters shouldn't get to play without any black marks against them for rules violations while you are sidelined because the league doesn't want you to rock the boat.
 
Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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I am sorry that happened to you. I have to wonder why you list yourself as a Conservative since is people and government with a more Liberal attitude towards LBGTQ people that support your rights and your interests. I understand that LBGTQ people are just people too and will have various political ideas that are not determined by how they identify themselves.
 
Renae said:
Yeah, cause when you're wronged, you should just say "golly, I deserved this"
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It appears you have that backasswards.

Did you not try to change things to that which they were not amenable? As they do not have to be accepting, that is on you.
Then it was you who went on to try and actually cause them harm.
Yeah, backasswards.
 
Renae said:
Mixed team, it was a she, and they knew for weeks bu when I said "I am going to be bowling as Renase starting next week" they went to the league and said "We are not comfortable with a man dressed as a woman bowling with us"


Any more fails you want to post Joko?
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Questions are fails?
 
Amelia said:
Do they have an answer which lets you play?

Because making haters hate you more doesn't seem like that big of a deal if you still don't get to play either way.

Also, I hope you don't let them talk you out of standing up for your rights. Someone down the road will thank you. And the haters shouldn't get to play without any black marks against them for rules violations while you are sidelined because the league doesn't want you to rock the boat.
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If they won't let Renae play on a mixed team it is bigotry. Being in Texas, there's nothing legally she can do about. She could go to the LGBT organization she says she's a member of and possibly they would organize a protest, but that doesn't accomplish Renae's goal of competition bowling. Renae has a right to be angry about this.
 
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