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Verthaine: "That may be true,but there seems to be a number of peoples who's deeds and words influenced her to the point of deciding to take her own life. As a parent my sympathy and condolences goes out to her family."
As a parent my sympathy and condolences go out to her family, and her friends, and her teachers, and everyone who might blame themselves. My nephew is 19 now but when he was nine his mother ran off with a boyfriend abandoning a 1-year old, a 4-year old, and a 9-year old. Six months later the father committed suicide. A friend of mine adopted the boys and they became my nephews. The 9-year old told me, when he was ten, that it was his fault his father committed suicide.
We talked for an hour and I stressed that only one person was responsible and that was his father. And, he was drunk when he killed himself.
I've investigated many suicides and most were incredibly stupid. People looking for sympathy, looking for attention, looking to hurt someone. Perhaps three percent of the ones I investigated were for good cause. I have far more sympathy for the survivors than I do for the selfish people who commit suicide.
And the saddest part? This girl thinks her suicide will matter. Lives will be shattered. People will never recover. Sorry, but it's not true. There is some short-term suffering but life goes on. A woman who worked for me was threatening suicide, weekly, and I asked her one day if she'd considered the effect her suicide would have on others. "Oh, I realize it would be terrible but I simply can't cope." I laughed and said, "Only terrible for you. The others at work will be really upset until we get the list of applicants and hire someone new. In six months, if someone mentions your name people will say, "Who?" You mom and dad will be very upset for a couple of months but their lives will go on, too. They'll think of you on your birthday, maybe, and at Christmas but other than that, not so much. The only person really effected will be you." She eventually left our organization. Three years later I got an inquiry from a university many states away about her. Apparently she was still alive and still threatening to kill herself.
I knew a man who had an employee who was a drunk. He skipped work Monday and Friday. Other employees were asking why Bob got four-day weekends and they didn't. When Bob was told no more four-day weekends he flew into a rage, said he'd kill himself, and it would be the boss's fault. The idiot boss believed him and quit his job. Suicides are often an irrational form of bullying.
I have far more sympathy for the hundreds of murder victims in Chicago that no one outside their families care about. I have far more sympathy for children growing up unable to read or write in a wealthy country spending billions on education. I am sorry this young woman killed herself. She shouldn't have. But, her family and friends have my sympathy. Not her. But, I don't hate her. Hatred isn't a big part of my life. Unlike those like Gov. Dean who hates all Republicans. Not dislikes or disagrees with but hates. Hatred is a sad condition that often leads to suicide.
As a parent my sympathy and condolences go out to her family, and her friends, and her teachers, and everyone who might blame themselves. My nephew is 19 now but when he was nine his mother ran off with a boyfriend abandoning a 1-year old, a 4-year old, and a 9-year old. Six months later the father committed suicide. A friend of mine adopted the boys and they became my nephews. The 9-year old told me, when he was ten, that it was his fault his father committed suicide.
We talked for an hour and I stressed that only one person was responsible and that was his father. And, he was drunk when he killed himself.
I've investigated many suicides and most were incredibly stupid. People looking for sympathy, looking for attention, looking to hurt someone. Perhaps three percent of the ones I investigated were for good cause. I have far more sympathy for the survivors than I do for the selfish people who commit suicide.
And the saddest part? This girl thinks her suicide will matter. Lives will be shattered. People will never recover. Sorry, but it's not true. There is some short-term suffering but life goes on. A woman who worked for me was threatening suicide, weekly, and I asked her one day if she'd considered the effect her suicide would have on others. "Oh, I realize it would be terrible but I simply can't cope." I laughed and said, "Only terrible for you. The others at work will be really upset until we get the list of applicants and hire someone new. In six months, if someone mentions your name people will say, "Who?" You mom and dad will be very upset for a couple of months but their lives will go on, too. They'll think of you on your birthday, maybe, and at Christmas but other than that, not so much. The only person really effected will be you." She eventually left our organization. Three years later I got an inquiry from a university many states away about her. Apparently she was still alive and still threatening to kill herself.
I knew a man who had an employee who was a drunk. He skipped work Monday and Friday. Other employees were asking why Bob got four-day weekends and they didn't. When Bob was told no more four-day weekends he flew into a rage, said he'd kill himself, and it would be the boss's fault. The idiot boss believed him and quit his job. Suicides are often an irrational form of bullying.
I have far more sympathy for the hundreds of murder victims in Chicago that no one outside their families care about. I have far more sympathy for children growing up unable to read or write in a wealthy country spending billions on education. I am sorry this young woman killed herself. She shouldn't have. But, her family and friends have my sympathy. Not her. But, I don't hate her. Hatred isn't a big part of my life. Unlike those like Gov. Dean who hates all Republicans. Not dislikes or disagrees with but hates. Hatred is a sad condition that often leads to suicide.
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