- Joined
- Nov 6, 2007
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- 66,847
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- Rolesville, NC
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- Moderate
actually i am. if i am paying for it then yes I have a say in what they get handed.
YOU can do what you want you have no say in what I do. as i said that is YOU and YOU are not other people. So what YOU think is ok has no impact on what someone else thinks is ok.
No, you don't. They are adults. They could just as easily get that book from the store or from a friend. You can choose to give them an ultimatum that either they need to live by your rules or you won't pay for their college, but that only harms their chances for the future based on you being petty, particularly if you are giving them this ultimatum after they are adults and it is based on something like this. Certain rules are certainly expected (make good grades, don't get into trouble, actually work for your degree), but trying to control other aspects of their lives is foolish and harmful. I would say this is in fact true to a certain degree even while they are in high school.