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Non-marital sex

Mashmont said:
You agreed that sex outside marriage was a bad idea after i first said that. What changed?
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I don't remember saying it, and if I did I meant sex without love. Ok? Am I allowed to modify a comment? Having sex with my boyfriend for 30+ years was not a bad idea.
 
Good4Nothin said:
His wife is living with someone else. They have a child together who has special needs, so they have to collaborate.
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The guy is a trainwreck. You've been told this repeatedly. There really isn't much more discuss, assuming this story is even real. But if it is real, it looks like you've made bad choices all your life, so what's one more? Some people just live their lives in a fog. So go for it.

I'm done. Goodnight.
 
Mashmont said:
There's a reason why man dominates the planet and not the animals. It's called reason and intelligence. I have no idea why you insist animals are as capable as man.
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Yeah, MAN dominates the planet and that is why it is quickly being trashed. Animals are too smart to throw their garbage into the ocean until nothing can survive. That's reason and intelligence?
 
Mashmont said:
Good4Nothin said:
Oh that is BS. The bible says our species is superior so you have to believe it. It is a complete falsehood that we act on reason and animals act on instinct. We have instincts in addition to reason, and animals have reason in addition to instincts. It's all a matter of degree.
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There's a reason why man dominates the planet and not the animals. It's called reason and intelligence. I have no idea why you insist animals are as capable as man.
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You're agreeing with him. It is a matter of degree. Although not considered an apex predator, mankind is the top predator on the planet not because of claws, teeth, size or strength but for the reasons both of you mentioned.

Top 10 Most Intelligent Animals

Many animals can reason, but man's reasoning powers are obviously superior. There are IQ tests for animals and many can solve various problems.

One IQ test for dogs is to chain them to a pole in the ground with the chain long enough to reach a food and water bowl but looped around a tree. Some dog breeds can't figure it out but others, especially the shepherd breeds can reason it out fairly quickly. All of the simian species are smart.
 
Good4Nothin said:
So, if it isn't what you would like, it must be dysfunctional? You feel qualified to diagnose? Or it's just a way to feel superior?
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You posted:
Quote Originally Posted by Good4Nothin View Post
And even if I had sex with him, he probably wouldn't think it was enough. So there would be the constant pressure to have more. And I have a lot of other things I want to spend time on.

You asked for advice and I responded.
I'm not going to temper my replies based on what you wrote above.
 
Good4Nothin said:
People with problems don't deserve to be loved?
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How'd you come up with this from what I wrote? Love and sex are two different things. You don't want to have sex, don't have it.
I never said people with problems don't deserve love.
 
Good4Nothin said:
He says it's ok we aren't having sex (yet?) because we have a lot of fun doing other things. This was tonight's conversation.
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Do you wonder what made him change his mind when earlier you said this:

Good4Nothin said:
The fact that he was talking about it almost from the very beginning made me suspicious. Maybe it was because he was so crazy in love with me he couldn't stand to wait. But I doubt it. I felt pressured, and I thought if I made him wait too long he would find someone else. And recently he actually said he would. Because he's so horny it's making him irritable, he says.

Maybe if I had slept with him within the first month, we would be in a serious committed relationship now. Or maybe not. No way to guess.
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Rising Sun said:
You're agreeing with him. It is a matter of degree. Although not considered an apex predator, mankind is the top predator on the planet not because of claws, teeth, size or strength but for the reasons both of you mentioned.

Top 10 Most Intelligent Animals

Many animals can reason, but man's reasoning powers are obviously superior. There are IQ tests for animals and many can solve various problems.

One IQ test for dogs is to chain them to a pole in the ground with the chain long enough to reach a food and water bowl but looped around a tree. Some dog breeds can't figure it out but others, especially the shepherd breeds can reason it out fairly quickly. All of the simian species are smart.
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There are different kinds of intelligence. If you test dogs for human intelligence, the dogs seem inferior.

Humans are the greatest at creating technology, because of our brains and our hands. And look where that got us. Dolphins and whales might be smarter than we are, but without hands they could not trash the planet.
 
trixare4kids said:
You posted:
Quote Originally Posted by Good4Nothin View Post
And even if I had sex with him, he probably wouldn't think it was enough. So there would be the constant pressure to have more. And I have a lot of other things I want to spend time on.

You asked for advice and I responded.
I'm not going to temper my replies based on what you wrote above.
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If sex isn't the only thing I like, then I am dysfunctional? I think it's just the opposite -- if sex is the only thing you like, then you are dysfunctional.
 
Good4Nothin said:
Yeah, MAN dominates the planet and that is why it is quickly being trashed. Animals are too smart to throw their garbage into the ocean until nothing can survive. That's reason and intelligence?
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I would advise any man to do this when he hears such an anti-male attitude when considering a relationship.

 
Good4Nothin said:
If sex isn't the only thing I like, then I am dysfunctional? I think it's just the opposite -- if sex is the only thing you like, then you are dysfunctional.
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I was talking about the relationship. Not you. RTT for context. Pressuring one for sex and staying with that person who is doing the pressuring for four months seems a bit off.
 
SDET said:
I would advise any man to do this when he hears such an anti-male attitude when considering a relationship.

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It was someone else who referred to the human species as MAN. I am NOT a feminist and I hate extreme political correctness. But that is just too disrespectful of women. People stopped saying it decades ago.
 
trixare4kids said:
I was talking about the relationship. Not you. RTT for context. Pressuring one for sex and staying with that person who is doing the pressuring for four months seems a bit off.
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That circumstance seems miserable for both people. It's double frustration. Some refer to as a relation**** (with a "t", not a "p").
 
Good4Nothin said:
Having sex would cross the line from carefree loving friendship to serious problem-ridden commitment.
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Uh ohhh, well that pretty much rules out almost all prospects automatically.
Only a robot comes with zero problems.
And something, just a gut feeling...ah well, you know where I was going to go with that ;)
 
trixare4kids said:
I was talking about the relationship. Not you. RTT for context. Pressuring one for sex and staying with that person who is doing the pressuring for four months seems a bit off.
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Well we got together because of our hobby, something we are working on together. So whatever happens, we probably want to continue our friendship and collaboration.
 
Good4Nothin said:
There are different kinds of intelligence. If you test dogs for human intelligence, the dogs seem inferior.

Humans are the greatest at creating technology, because of our brains and our hands. And look where that got us. Dolphins and whales might be smarter than we are, but without hands they could not trash the planet.
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Agreed. In this case the discussion was on reasoning powers.
 
Risky Thicket said:
The "all guys" and/or "all women" perspective is limiting from the start. Everyone is different and as such every relationship is different. If it works, it works and if it doesn't it's better to know it sooner than later. Not everyone has the same attitude toward sex. It is IMHO best to be honest with yourself from day one and be honest with your significant other from the first appropriate day.
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This is true, for example, the women I end up tend to be the sexually aggressive ones and I am usually the more passive of the two (and can take a bit of coaxing (which means boobs in my face most of the time)).

That's a role reversal away from the typical (and not a bad place for me to be, tbh)
 
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i actually enjoy practicing full body massage with girl friends, just for the heck of it; touch therapy, we cannot escape it.
 
Dayton3 said:
That is the absolute stupidest argument I've heard for having sex there is. And I've heard it for years.

1) What if you love someone and the sex is poor or disappointing? Are you simply going to break up with them then? That is what the entire "test drive" argument would suggest.
2) Sexual compatibility or whatever its called is seldom something you arrive at by having sex with someone once, twice, or dozens of time. For more than a few couples it takes months and even years before they arrive at the point where they both are enjoying their sex life with each other. And even then changes occur over time.
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Much of it is age dependent. But, I'd say for anyone under 40, definitely test drive, because even if it's good you'll still find yourself wanting something better now and then. If it's bad, you'll cheat on day one.

After about 40...things change. Sex can be put on the shelf after 50 for sure. But, before then, I doubt it. And, if you are in your twenties--lord help you.
 
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