- Joined
- Sep 3, 2011
- Messages
- 34,817
- Reaction score
- 18,576
- Location
- Look to your right... I'm that guy.
- Gender
- Undisclosed
- Political Leaning
- Centrist
My story is similar to yours. Similar.Complicated stuff. Is he disowning the child? Does he still want to be a part of his life? I can't imagine raising a child as your own for two years and then just severing that connection because it turns out you don't share DNA. My wife had a 1-year-old son when we started dating. That was 10 years ago and we have since had another child together. I love both equally. It is one reason a few years ago I adopted my oldest so my parental rights would be protected. You never know what might happen in a marriage but I know damn well I will always love my kids, and that love has nothing to do with DNA.
But then there are plenty of fathers who have no problem walking away from their own biological children so it shouldn't surprise me that someone like this guy could do the same.
I feel bad for the kid. Doesn't sound like he has any quality parents, father or mother, in his life.
My ex had two kids when we got together. Ages 3 and 1. We had a third kid together a couple years later. The biological father was completely out of the picture. Not even CS. I raised them almost from birth. I was, and still am, Dad.
I refused to adopt, though (to be fair, I was never asked or suggested, either). My own reasons. I'm the kind of person that does not like to be told what to do, and to keep my legal entanglements to as few as possible, especially when one cannot predict the future. I don't like to obligate myself for things that may change in unforeseen ways.
Their mother and I did eventually split about 12 years later. I continued to be a part of their lives*, and am to this day. They are both in their early 30s now. I got full custody of our "shared" son, so that never became an issue.
*- ETA: I did not have a mandatory financial obligation, but they shared time at my home and I helped with things like clothes, school costs, and so on, just as I always had. And they were included in my family vacations. Stuff like that.