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And I never said it was. You can create whatever examples you want, but for the vast majority, that isn't the case. Marriage is an absolute. It's a formal contract between two people that they will be loyal and faithful to each other. Just because you know some swingers doesn't change this.
I never wrote anything about "swingers" and when you have been married for 40 years and are comfortable in your old-age marriage then you can tell of your perfect marriage to your "absolutes." But if you actually do believe in "absolutes," I do not believe a lifelong good marriage is even possible for you.
Nearly everyone on this forum tells of their perfect values of absolutes and perfect goodness to their definition on almost any topic. I rarely believe it.
The old folks I was writing about have done what few couples will ever accomplish.
Been together a lifetime and most married young. didn't sleep around before marriage, didn't get abortions, didn't cohabitate - claiming those don't count if you break up. What they are doing is a lifelong marriage "for better or for worse."
The modern standard? "For better or its over." And then bitch about your ex and how unfair it all is. Then to claim superiority in marriage number 2, 3, 4 - as the kids bounced back and around under the slogan "the children are better off if the parents are both separately happy with their new lovers and spouses." They stuck it out, made it work.
They had their troubles along the way. But now they have a nice home paid for, retirement saved up, and spend holidays with their children, grandchildren and some even great grandchildren. They go on vacations and travel. Have piles of friends they socialize with. Go fishing. And lay back and watch television. Sleep together at night, wake up together in the morning, go to the doctor with each other for their growing health issues and all in all figure they a had and have a pretty good life and - all in all - a half way decent marriage and old age security. But they evolved to have some space between them now and then, just a tad of independence now and then - rather than your "do or die" modern values. They will be together until one of them dies too.
Yes, you can put on your white purity Bible beater robe and call them names if that's what makes you feel superior and good about yourself - likely having nothing yourself to actually show for it.
But here's the thing. They don't give a damn what you think about them. They probably think your values are wrong too. And they have done what now the chances are maybe 1 in 10 you could do, because YOU believe in divorce. They don't.
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