I don't agree with you that influencing someone is the same as making a choice for someone.
I may not be expressing myself properly. I am not talking about writing a catchy jingle and influencing someone to buy a particular brand of soap. I am referring to a situation where a person decides some course of action, say X, and I say, "No, you will do Y." That's what I mean by making a choice for someone else.
Leading and following is a part of our species' nature.
We casually accept subordinate positions all the time.
Perhaps the difficulty is in perspective.
Perhaps its not "possession" but the right to compel or deny.
As a kid, reading college level by sixth grade, I frequently encountered referrent problems.
An event that seriously colored my life was the first time I saw the "Question Authority" tee shirt.
Rather than ask questions of those in authority, I questioned the concept of authority itself.
"Why does anyone else have the right to tell you what you can and can't do?" Was a question that caused much adult squirming. Some variation of "just because" or "that's the way the world is" was pretty standard, and while kinda true, wasn't an answer to the question.
After digging and looking and doing that semester of civics and the Constitution in 7th grade I came to the conclusion that at its heart, authority derives from the ABILITY to compel or deny. Force.
The Founders take was the force is necessary but should be wielded collectively rather than by one or a few. Not a perfect solution, but it trundles along.
I think our govt has "gone rogue", is no longer working in the best interests of everbody together but FOR the interests of everybodies little groups instead.