Dealing with tremendous loss.

[natsb]

There are no words. I can only offer my prayers and shed some tears.

Sent from my LG-E980 using Tapatalk

 

[ThoughtEx.]

We appreciate the support, it's just all so much. And Our victim services grief counselor tells me it's good to try and get back into old habits. So I've been reading through the forums, but it seems so trivial to atm. He's all I can think about, and I can't keep this bottled in. And I can't stand to see my wife's pain.

I just miss him. And it does help to tell people that.

 

[Helix]

i'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this, ThoughtEx. my condolences.

 

[eohrnberger]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss ThoughtEx.

Life lost so early is devastating and a terrible loss.

My prayers and well wishes to you and your family as you go through these troubling times.

Stay strong. Your family needs you to be now more than ever.

 

[JC Callender]

I had a spiritual friend who once told me that her children were hers "on loan from God". To her, they were ultimately God's children but she was chosen to take care of them. If one of her children passed in the way that Lex did, and in a way that couldn't possibly be her fault, then it had to be God bringing her child home for his own purpose.

Prayers to your family to heal from this and grow stronger together. Pm me if you ever want to talk.

 

[haymarket]

Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

No words can comfort or console you and would only be trivial next to your loss. Just know that all of us here deeply feel for the loss of Lex and wish you an ability to cope and manage to deal with this loss in your own way in your own time.

 

[rabbitcaebannog]

Hugs to you. There are few words I can say to express how sorry I am to hear this news. Praying for you and your family during this time.

 

[AlbqOwl]

Thanks everyone, I wish I had the words to describe this better. I'm just laying here awake right now, I can't close my eyes without seeing his face. I just miss him so much.

So very sorry. As others have said, there are no words of comfort other than my belief that your child is in a good place, cared for, and loved. I have not lost a child--the closest thing was that possibility at one time--so I cannot share your grief, but I can only imagine. For some things there is no answer at the time. It is nobody's fault. There was nothing anyone could do. Do not blame yourself. You didn't fail. Please assure your wife and daughter that it is not their fault either. They probably desperately need that assurance right now too.

My prayers are with you and your family.

 

[Rogue Valley]

Deepest condolences. My Thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[countryboy]

Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

Having lost two children of my own, one an infant, I feel your pain profoundly. You have my most sincere, heartfelt condolences. I know words can do nothing to help you at this point, but know this, it does get better.

I too weep with you, Dear Lord, I am sooooo sorry.

 

[<alt>doxygen]

Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

That's horrible. You have my deepest sympathy. Prayers for you and your family.

Are there support groups for dealing with that sort of thing? Maybe finding others who can truly relate would be helpful.

 

[Groogrux]

Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

I am physically sick reading this. I'm am so sorry for your loss. I wish we could all absorb some of your pain.

 

[brothern]

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Self-care is what is most important at this point. It sounds silly, but it will get you through the day.
Schedule an hour into each day to focus on yourself, so that you can handle being supportive of your wife and daughter. Try the following,

• Forgive yourself for being screwed up and making mistakes - You won't be able to run at 100% for quite some time.
• Do the same for your wife and daughter. Acknowledge their pain and forgive them for acting and feeling horrible.
• Celebrate and reward your accomplishments over the next few weeks. Being able to get out of bed in the morning. Making it to the end of the day. Being able laugh without feeling guilty. Making your wife smile. Helping your daughter have fun and "be a kid."
• Focus on your body. Eat right and try to sleep.
• Go for a walk outside or other leisurely physical activity. Use the time to think.
• Schedule an specific, allotted amount of time to completely fall to pieces. Swear, cry, yell, and punch **** until you feel like an idiot and question your sanity.
• Write and read. Type up letters. Share them, or toss them.
• Be upfront to people with what you need: Tell your boss, co-workers, wife, family, etc. when you need time or support.
• Attend bereavement counseling (though it sounds like you've already done this)

We are emotional and complex beings. However at the same time we are also nothing more than an overrated collection of biological functions. Your mood and mental health are to a terrifying percent dependent upon how you treat your body, and what types of physical and emotional stimulus you choose to expose yourself to.

So if you choose to sleep and eat right, exercise and do thing that make you feel good, you'll be able to better address your loss and also support your family. If you choose to punish or isolate yourself, feel guilty, hide your emotions, abuse alcohol or drugs or engage in other harmful behavior ... you will find yourself in a much worse position than you are now.

Give yourself permission to take it down a notch and treat yourself like you would a frail, hurting person; and you will be able to deal with a lot more than you think you can.

 

[Gaugingcatenate]

I cannot express how deeply felt my condolences are for you and your family in this time of unenviable grief.

Undoubtedly you will feel this pain until it eventually, finally, subsides, which as others have already said, will occur... if you allow it. My parents lost their first two sons and it affected our entire family the rest of their lives. I was a replacement for the one, so I never met him, only heard the stories... and I was in second grade when my older brother was killed. It hurt, but I was young and while I never forgot, it taught me life can be here one day and gone the next, and I did get past it... as will you.

Please, when I read your first post I could see you, without any true cause but understandably so under the circumstances, blaming yourself. And you mentioned your daughter brought the sickness home from school. If you feel guilty, are hurting and are a rational adult, I can only imagine what hurt she must have in her little heart... so I pray you will be strong for her, make sure she has no doubt it is not her fault one iota...just as you and we all know it was not yours, you did what all parents do in caring for their children, lay them down for a nap... and she did what normal kids do, came home from school.

I do wish/pray you the very best, knowing that the coming days will be hard, feel unbearable... love your family, with the even better understanding that every day it is a gift to be with them, so help them and by doing so help yourself through this hard hard time...

I do also wish we could all take some of that pain from you... but as we cannot, I wish you strength brother.

 

[Bodi]

Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

I have no words that will help but my prayers and thoughts are with you brother...

I had a very close experience with my 1 year-old a decade ago so I can definitely relate.

Hopefully you will go see a therapist if you haven't already. It can be very helpful.

 

[Bodi]

Having lost two children of my own, one an infant, I feel your pain profoundly. You have my most sincere, heartfelt condolences. I know words can do nothing to help you at this point, but know this, it does get better.

I too weep with you, Dear Lord, I am sooooo sorry.

Jeez man, I didn't know that. I am truly sorry for your losses.

 

[X Factor]

We appreciate the support, it's just all so much. And Our victim services grief counselor tells me it's good to try and get back into old habits. So I've been reading through the forums, but it seems so trivial to atm. He's all I can think about, and I can't keep this bottled in. And I can't stand to see my wife's pain.

I just miss him. And it does help to tell people that.

Yes it does. Don't feel you need to explain why you're posting here right now. More than a few times, I've found legit compassion and support and even a little distraction when needed.

 

[nota bene]

That's horrible. You have my deepest sympathy. Prayers for you and your family.

Are there support groups for dealing with that sort of thing? Maybe finding others who can truly relate would be helpful.

Yes, The Compassionate Friends, the international self-help group for bereaved parents.

 

[Top Cat]

That's not the way it is supposed to happen. I can't begin to imagine your pain. Sending all the positive vibes I have your way. Makes me want to hug everyone I love.

 

[jet57]

Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

God man, I have two kids and four grand kids, I can't imagine the internal pressure from loosing one of them It must be crushing and I'm very sorry to hear that it's happening to you.

Now however is good time to connect: go outside, sit where it's warm (if you can), and watch the trees and the clouds; think of that baby, you're still connected and you can feel him. It'll last as long as you want it to each time you do it.

You've not failed in any way: that's impossible. We're just parts of the earth; we come and we go, we have no faults.


Nár laga Dia thú

 

[j-mac]

Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

Oh Thought....I don't know what to say...I am so sorry you are going through this....My prayers are with you and your family...I would have responded earlier but I was driving back from Ohio, anyway, if there is anything you think I can do for you, don't hesitate to ask...Again I am so sorry....

 

[DiAnna]

I can't imagine the inconsolable loss you and your family have suffered. The loss of a child is unimaginable for me; my deepest condolences to you and yours in this terrible time of grief.

 

[ThoughtEx.]

I took a nap today, and I feel slightly better for it. I can finally think about him without bursting into tears. Although, I'm still on the verge. Thank you all for your support and kind words. Its funny I find myself thanking so many people, because so many people want to help. And that's not something I'm used to.

Id like to share a photo of my baby. I plan on doing a full collage, and memorial art piece when I can stand to do it.



Edit: How do I make this not upside down?

 

[MaggieD]

I took a nap today, and I feel slightly better for it. I can finally think about him without bursting into tears. Although, I'm still on the verge. Thank you all for your support and kind words. Its funny I find myself thanking so many people, because so many people want to help. And that's not something I'm used to.

Id like to share a photo of my baby. I plan on doing a full collage, and memorial art piece when I can stand to do it.

View attachment 67213869

Edit: How do I make this not upside down?

What a beautiful little boy. God bless you and your family.

 

[beerftw]

Yesterday, my youngest child died. He wasn't even two years old. His sister brought home a chest cold from school and he caught it. I put him down for nap, and he didn't wake up. I feel like I'm lost right now, like Someone shot me and I just haven't realized I've been shot.

What do I do now? All I can think of his how much I want to hold him. How much I want to see his smile, and feel his baby kisses. I want him to run down the hallway, and yell boo. I want to hear him sliding the sugar bin across the floor one more time. I want so many things, but there is no way for me to have them.

I feel like I've failed him, that it was my job to protect him, and I failed. He was my son, and I let him die. And I don't know how to not feel that. Today a police officer watched me cry so hard he had to give me a hug. And he cried with me.

My wife and daughter are just as upset as I am, and I don't know how to comfort them, when I need the same comfort. I just miss him, more than I have ever missed anything in my entire life.

His name was Lex, and I don't know if I can feel joy without him.

My prayers for you. This is a sad time, and all the support you can get is needed, however only time will let you move on, but the sadness will linger a lifetime.

He is in gods hands now, never forget him and always show your love, even if he is not among the living.