Hey-o, another blog post!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day! My wife and I went out for a meal last night, and we had a really good conservation about raising children (straight up until almost closing, too). We're both having these conversations more and more. Though my wife and I never really intended to ever really consider it, she and I are in that headspace where we have both come to agreement that we would like to be parents at some point in the future.
It's a crazy thing to feel, honestly. I never thought I'd be in a position like this, or rather I just couldn't ever conceive it in my head. Doesn't really feel that long ago that we were both kids ourselves, with no real direction in our lives. Time flies, doesn't it?
My wife and I do not intend to jump on this in the short-term. She and I have made it certain to one another that we want to be at least in our 30's before we decide to make the decision to be parents. It's a serious responsibility, and we just aren't there yet. Plenty of research and preparation still needs to be done on our part. I've talked to my parents about it for advice and all, and they've given me pretty good tips on parenting. Oh, they were both over the moon at the idea of getting grandkids from me.
I'd certainly make an awful mother at this stage in my life, since I just have too many other priorities and stuff to focus on, and if I want to be a good mother, I need to have the ability to prioritize a child above everything else.
I don't know if I've ever had true aversion to raising children. I think a big hesitation on my part is that being gay, I have a tendency to want to buck the heteronormative box that is expected for most women to fit in, especially when I was younger and far less confident in myself. I honestly am pretty "straight-acting" in general, so I guess I don't even really go 'too far out' on that front. I've certainly never been as far out as some of those 'childfree' people can get; often those people have a seriously strange hatred of children.
But I guess it's because I'm getting a bit older, and now that I'm married and financially independent (and stable), I guess it's forced me to think about it more and more. Plus, I've been having issues with baby fever, in the sense that for whatever reason, I'll get the desire to have a child (probably hormones and stuff).
And it doesn't help that this family that lives next to my place often has their kids playing in the neighborhood street after school lets out, and it's just so cute seeing them all play together. I can admit that I feel a sort of jealousy seeing it and hearing those cheerful shouts.
Of course, this relates to adoption only. I'm already utterly terrified of pregnancy to start with, and I shall remain so, and due to Texas' current restrictive abortion laws, including the Texas GOP's attempts to criminalize out-of-state abortion procedures, no way in hell would I ever take a chance with that in this state.
Plus, I often think about the children stuck in the foster care system, and some of the horrible things that they have to be subjected to. It must feel awful to effectively feel unwanted in a sense, and especially dealing with some of the terrible conditions that they have to endure.
Also, my wife and I would prefer adopting a child in at least the 7+ age range. The older children get in the foster care system, the less desirable they become to adoption-seeking parents (adoptive parents seem to go after mainly infants and/or very young children). It is plenty understandable, as you have less likely of a time to deal with behavioral issues for example. But I dunno, I find the idea of being a mother to some of those kids who are 7-12 or so not so bad of an idea.
I know this is kind of a ramble, but I am excited about the potential prospect of this in the future. I believe my wife and I can provide a very good quality of life for a child(ren) in need. Many of you guys here at DP are parents, so I would be open to any sort of advice any of you folks would be willing to give me.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day! My wife and I went out for a meal last night, and we had a really good conservation about raising children (straight up until almost closing, too). We're both having these conversations more and more. Though my wife and I never really intended to ever really consider it, she and I are in that headspace where we have both come to agreement that we would like to be parents at some point in the future.
It's a crazy thing to feel, honestly. I never thought I'd be in a position like this, or rather I just couldn't ever conceive it in my head. Doesn't really feel that long ago that we were both kids ourselves, with no real direction in our lives. Time flies, doesn't it?
My wife and I do not intend to jump on this in the short-term. She and I have made it certain to one another that we want to be at least in our 30's before we decide to make the decision to be parents. It's a serious responsibility, and we just aren't there yet. Plenty of research and preparation still needs to be done on our part. I've talked to my parents about it for advice and all, and they've given me pretty good tips on parenting. Oh, they were both over the moon at the idea of getting grandkids from me.
I'd certainly make an awful mother at this stage in my life, since I just have too many other priorities and stuff to focus on, and if I want to be a good mother, I need to have the ability to prioritize a child above everything else.
I don't know if I've ever had true aversion to raising children. I think a big hesitation on my part is that being gay, I have a tendency to want to buck the heteronormative box that is expected for most women to fit in, especially when I was younger and far less confident in myself. I honestly am pretty "straight-acting" in general, so I guess I don't even really go 'too far out' on that front. I've certainly never been as far out as some of those 'childfree' people can get; often those people have a seriously strange hatred of children.
But I guess it's because I'm getting a bit older, and now that I'm married and financially independent (and stable), I guess it's forced me to think about it more and more. Plus, I've been having issues with baby fever, in the sense that for whatever reason, I'll get the desire to have a child (probably hormones and stuff).
And it doesn't help that this family that lives next to my place often has their kids playing in the neighborhood street after school lets out, and it's just so cute seeing them all play together. I can admit that I feel a sort of jealousy seeing it and hearing those cheerful shouts.
Of course, this relates to adoption only. I'm already utterly terrified of pregnancy to start with, and I shall remain so, and due to Texas' current restrictive abortion laws, including the Texas GOP's attempts to criminalize out-of-state abortion procedures, no way in hell would I ever take a chance with that in this state.
Plus, I often think about the children stuck in the foster care system, and some of the horrible things that they have to be subjected to. It must feel awful to effectively feel unwanted in a sense, and especially dealing with some of the terrible conditions that they have to endure.
Also, my wife and I would prefer adopting a child in at least the 7+ age range. The older children get in the foster care system, the less desirable they become to adoption-seeking parents (adoptive parents seem to go after mainly infants and/or very young children). It is plenty understandable, as you have less likely of a time to deal with behavioral issues for example. But I dunno, I find the idea of being a mother to some of those kids who are 7-12 or so not so bad of an idea.
I know this is kind of a ramble, but I am excited about the potential prospect of this in the future. I believe my wife and I can provide a very good quality of life for a child(ren) in need. Many of you guys here at DP are parents, so I would be open to any sort of advice any of you folks would be willing to give me.