Awkward encounters with old flames

[CLAX1911]

Totally agree....piercings need to stop at ear lobes and belly buttons. Do not care for tats at all. Guys can carry off one or two, women the same but small. Don't get the reason for more than that.

Some friends of mine, a young couple, they are both tattooed up and both of them have those rings in their nose. They have been married for about five years, very nice people. But I guess there are people that love that.

 

[Checkerboard Strangler]

they do complement one another.



It was almost a three year relationship. Yes it was enjoyable. But seems more and more distant.

WOW!

I guess gay men aren't afraid to speak their mind especially with fashion. I do find lady friends of mine asking my opinion often. I don't really know why. Evan's (my spouse) Has a lot of lady friends too and they ask his opinion on clothing, hair and make up.

I wonder why that is.

Oh sure, you know full well why. Those of you who are good at it are ridiculously good at it.
I happen to know one gay guy who is a complete and total oaf and not very good at it but he makes up for it by being a consummate writer, musician, even a damn good cook. So what if he's a basket case in the fashion area? His husband clucks over him a lot and keeps him looking good.

For some reason he wound up being a major muckety muck in hospital administration but I swear he could make a very decent living playing in any major city orchestra if he wanted.

 

[CLAX1911]

WOW!






Oh sure, you know full well why. Those of you who are good at it are ridiculously good at it.

I don't think I am that good at it. I am honest, maybe that is enough.

I happen to know one gay guy who is a complete and total oaf and not very good at it but he makes up for it by being a consummate writer, musician, even a damn good cook. So what if he's a basket case in the fashion area? His husband clucks over him a lot and keeps him looking good.

For some reason he wound up being a major muckety muck in hospital administration but I swear he could make a very decent living playing in any major city orchestra if he wanted.

Music is a good hobby

 

[Lovebug]

Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey...everyone is entitled to their own tastes, the heart wants what the heart wants and the body wants what it wants.
Besides, he's showing you pics of women, are you batting for the other team? I guess I didn't know that, LOL!

I find this rather repulsive

That'd be okay for a week or three after the holiday season, but for the rest of the year, no.
That pudgy belly is just not working for me. She looks about five to ten pounds away from being in-shape, but that's still three pounds too many. The exception being immediately (less than six months) after a pregnancy:

 

[Rexedgar]

I wonder where the OP finds hats in the correct size....:inandout:

 

[Rexedgar]

He’s a product of a generation that proof reads, and bothers to put himself on the other side to see that is message makes sense and is with reading, and makes changes to clarify context before pushing “post”.

We need more like him.

I bet he has PJs in your size!

 

[Xelor]

WOW!






Oh sure, you know full well why. Those of you who are good at it are ridiculously good at it.
I happen to know one gay guy who is a complete and total oaf and not very good at it but he makes up for it by being a consummate writer, musician, even a damn good cook. So what if he's a basket case in the fashion area? His husband clucks over him a lot and keeps him looking good.

For some reason he wound up being a major muckety muck in hospital administration but I swear he could make a very decent living playing in any major city orchestra if he wanted.

Red:

• That comment cracked me up! It's just funny, in a purely comedic sense.
• Having, sans a wife, raised a daughter, taking her shopping (I don't at all enjoy shopping, but as I had so few opportunities to spend time with my kids, I availed myself of the opportunities that presented themselves rather than not doing so because they weren't all the types of opportunity I would have preferred) was one of the tasks that fell to me.
  
  The result was that I learned a lot more about fashion than I truly ever wanted to know. That said, fashion is a form of art, and I like art. Fashion, indulging oneself in it is entertaining. Certainly I enjoyed observing my daughter dithers as she readied herself for dates, parties and other social events. And I won't deny it was fun/interesting to birthday and Christmas shop for her and see how my taste met with her approbation, or didn't.

 

[Xelor]

You go get all the muscular athletic chicks you want, Xelor.
Someone has to love em up, might as well be you!
Just be nice to them, they might have just come from a kickboxing class! :lamo

Red:
Damn skippy, it might as well be me. LOL

 

[Xelor]

I'm not completely sure, but I think she might be reacting to the musings of an older guy who thinks he's rather keen dissing Jennifer Lopez as someone he couldn't manage to get excited about. And.... Insinuating all his women are more attractive (in only a physical sense, nothing else seems to be under discussion) than Jennifer Lopez. I think she expected more of the poster. I could be wrong.....

Red:
How droll.

You think I'm dissing J Lo. I posted the photos because they illustrate the nature of the difference between what I'm "into" and what I'm not.

The point of using a celeb's photo is that the one I picked is one who has years and years of photos one may view the manner in which she has maintained her physique. Consider Janet Jackson. There are times when she is smokin' hot, when she's on tour and in the limelight. But when she's not performing, she's no more interested in being "ripped fit" than are most folks. That doesn't make something be wrong with her, plus she's pretty/cute either way. It just makes her not the kind of woman I'm "into."

​

Too, I think the J Lo pics effectively illustrate the difference a small few pounds make, a small enough few that many folks may not care about the difference. Indeed, some folks here have noted they don't like women to be that fit. You don't see me ridiculing them, or conjuring bizarre notions of what's in their heads, regarding their stated preferences.

Aside:

Just to be clear: as goes my taste in women, it's not about the presence of muscle; it's about the absence of excess fat covering normal-sized muscles. Few, if any, "serious" bodybuilder women appeal to me.) Get rid of excess fat and everyone's ripped/muscled looking.

These are women, but to me, they're dudes wearing wigs and bikinis.

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Women who'd be suitable for the bikini and/or fitness categories are what appeal to me.


Fitness category​

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Bikini Category​

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Blue:
I don't need to insinuate anything. If a woman, any woman, celeb or not, has those extra few pounds of pudge on her, she's not in my eyes/libido sexually/physically appealing as are the women I date.

Would I, as the saying goes, throw a 5-pounds overweight pretty woman out of bed? No. But then if after a couple months of dating, she demonstrated she was content to remain at that weight, she and I would become either "friends with occasional benefits" or platonic friends. Maybe one day when sexual attraction doesn't mater, I'll be of a different mind, but as long as it does matter....

I'm sure other men whose tastes gravitate toward the margins are no less committed to liking what they like and not liking what they don't like. Men who're into Rubenesque women are one such example. They'd say the same thing I did re: J Lo that I did, though their reason is the exact opposite of mine -- they'd think she needs more meat on her bones, so to speak.

 

[Xelor]

Well I've met quite a few guys that can appreciate a good looking man and they are completely straight. That being said, I was once with a woman.


That became fashionable in the very late seventies and eighties. It seemed to coincide with women entering the business world in a capacity they never had before. I think it was to make them look more masculine. In order to give them a more imposing and powerful image.

I'm glad it went the way of the do do. Not that I wear a suit often, I'm glad shoulder pads are no longer in with those.



Lol

FWIW, though I started the thread with an anecdote about my experience/thoughts regarding my (I'm male) interaction with a woman, I didn't mean to imply that gay men (or lesbians) shouldn't share or remark upon similar or contrasting happenstances, thoughts, emotions, the stridency of body-type preferences, etc. vis-a-vis their same-sex encounters/interests.


Red:
One'd have to be literally blind not to notice good looking people of either sex, regardless of whether it be men or women one's "into." Straight, there's not a man around who'd not looked at a woman and had a sense of where she's either in or out of his "league." The only way to have such an inkling is to be aware, given cultural norms and standards of beauty, of one's own looks and physique relative to other men's. That notwithstanding, I wouldn't say straight men take awareness and acknowledgement of good looking men to the "appreciation" point of being attracted to those men.

As the father of three good looking sons, I've had my share of associates (all but one were women) hint that they'd like to "matchmake" one of my boys with their daughters. Upon seeing photos of some of their daughters, I had a fairly good sense of whether my son was going to be keen on the setup. It worked the same way with my daughter when an associate suggested introducing her to her son. (Then there's the matter than I think something's amiss with a kid when his mother/father actively, albeit subtly, tries to play matchmaker for their late-teen to 20-something child. After all, at that age, it's pretty hard to be not decent looking to quite a few of one's age-peers. If nothing else, hormones and opportunity are sufficient to catalyze many a "connection.")

 

[CLAX1911]

FWIW, though I started the thread with an anecdote about my experience/thoughts regarding my (I'm male) interaction with a woman, I didn't mean to imply that gay men (or lesbians) shouldn't share or remark upon similar or contrasting happenstances, thoughts, emotions, the stridency of body-type preferences, etc. vis-a-vis their same-sex encounters/interests.

Thanks for saying this though I didn't take it that way.

Red:
One'd have to be literally blind not to notice good looking people of either sex, regardless of whether it be men or women one's "into." Straight, there's not a man around who'd not looked at a woman and had a sense of where she's either in or out of his "league." The only way to have such an inkling is to be aware, given cultural norms and standards of beauty, of one's own looks and physique relative to other men's. That notwithstanding, I wouldn't say straight men take awareness and acknowledgement of good looking men to the "appreciation" point of being attracted to those men.

As the father of three good looking sons, I've had my share of associates (all but one were women) hint that they'd like to "matchmake" one of my boys with their daughters. Upon seeing photos of some of their daughters, I had a fairly good sense of whether my son was going to be keen on the setup. It worked the same way with my daughter when an associate suggested introducing her to her son. (Then there's the matter than I think something's amiss with a kid when his mother/father actively, albeit subtly, tries to play matchmaker for their late-teen to 20-something child. After all, at that age, it's pretty hard to be not decent looking to quite a few of one's age-peers. If nothing else, hormones and opportunity are sufficient to catalyze many a "connection.")

Yeah, there is nothing gay about finding a member of the same sex easy to look at. that is a long way from..."here is my number." it seems odd to talk about it in this way, but some people are really weird about it.

I had a friend's parent set me up on a date with her nephew. that was … interesting.

 

[Xelor]

Thanks for saying this though I didn't take it that way.



Yeah, there is nothing gay about finding a member of the same sex easy to look at. that is a long way from..."here is my number." it seems odd to talk about it in this way, but some people are really weird about it.

I had a friend's parent set me up on a date with her nephew. that was … interesting.

You're welcome.

 

[chuckiechan]

I dont understand why lovebug just flew off the handle. Can someone explain her post # 21 to me?

If you expect them to be fit, you had better plan to be fit yourself. For me to expect my wife to be as toned and sculpted as Jennifer Lopez, then I'd probably lose her at the gym to fitness freak because I'm not there busting my ass with her. It's like dating a jogger, but you don't jog. Good luck with that.

The models and Hollywood types you show are just that. "Models" of great genetics that are "in", youth, and Photoshop retouching, perfect lighting, and surgery. Maybe it really is what you could be if you passed on all the foods you liked, went to the gym everyday, and had good genetics. You wonder why America's girls are neurotic. Dumpy boys want to date super models. It's all a fantasy. They pick the 1 out of 100 and grind your ass because you don't measure up. I'll take a wrinkly wife who loves me back any day over some gym rat who thinks her abs are more important than home made lasagna split over a nice crisp craft beer on paper plates because the dishwasher is full.

 

[Checkerboard Strangler]

The result was that I learned a lot more about fashion than I truly ever wanted to know. That said, fashion is a form of art, and I like art. Fashion, indulging oneself in it is entertaining. Certainly I enjoyed observing my daughter dithers as she readied herself for dates, parties and other social events. And I won't deny it was fun/interesting to birthday and Christmas shop for her and see how my taste met with her approbation, or didn't.

How did you ever survive the teen eye rolling phase?

 

[Xelor]

If you expect them to be fit, you had better plan to be fit yourself. For me to expect my wife to be as toned and sculpted as Jennifer Lopez, then I'd probably lose her at the gym to fitness freak because I'm not there busting my ass with her. It's like dating a jogger, but you don't jog. Good luck with that.

The models and Hollywood types you show are just that. "Models" of great genetics that are "in", youth, and Photoshop retouching, perfect lighting, and surgery. Maybe it really is what you could be if you passed on all the foods you liked, went to the gym everyday, and had good genetics. You wonder why America's girls are neurotic. Dumpy boys want to date super models. It's all a fantasy. They pick the 1 out of 100 and grind your ass because you don't measure up. I'll take a wrinkly wife who loves me back any day over some gym rat who thinks her abs are more important than home made lasagna split over a nice crisp craft beer on paper plates because the dishwasher is full.

• Red: To look as "toned and sculpted as Jennifer Lopez" as you put it:
  • One does not need to forgo all the foods one likes.
  • One does need to ensure that one's body burns, rather than "saves for a rainy day," the calories contained in the food one eats. It doesn't matter what activity one undertakes to make that happen.
  • Most folks who are "toned and sculpted" actually like a huge variety of food items and they tend to eat all of them, but they don't eat all of them everyday, or every other day. What they do is balance their caloric intake with their caloric burn; thus when they consume more calories, they also perform more physical activities. Knowing how much more activity is needed is something that when one's first learning to do it, takes a bit of "calorie counting" effort (both re: caloric intake and re: the caloric burn one gets from any given activity), but that after one's learned how to do it, is no harder than falling off a greased log.
• Blue:
  • One need not daily go to the gym, but one must daily be active enough to burn the calories one consumes, or more calories than one consumes if one must eliminate excess fat. Gyms offer equipment and a place to do that in a very efficient manner; however, if one's life consists of enough activity to burn one's caloric intake without going to the gym, one need not ever go to a gym. It's about burning the calories, not about going to the gym.
  • If one takes the gym route to achieve the needed calorie burn, one hour, five days a week, of resistance training and twenty minutes of aerobics seven days a week is enough, if one eats a properly balanced daily diet consisting of ~2500-2700 "clean" carbs, fats and proteins. It's really very simple:
    • Caloric burn (CB) ∝ activity intensity (AI). AI = activity level (AL) + activity duration (AD).
    • If one tasks one body with activity such that it needs more energy than is provided by the food one eats, it will burn stored calories by drawing energy from stored fats and proteins. Force the body to do that daily and eventually, it'll have no choice but to burn the fat that covers one's abs, whereafter one will be as "sculpted and tone" as J Lo.
    • One can't make the body draw the energy from the body areas one'd prefer it first draw from, but one can make the body keep drawing from its stored reserves until there are so few stored reserves that one's body, particularly one's abs, look like J Lo's. Beneath the "case of beer" on one's belly there lies a six-pack of abs.
• Pink:
  • If one has that, it helps, but it's hardly necessary.
• Tan:
  • People who maintain "toned and sculpted" bodies know that it's not an "either-or" thing and that it is a both thing -- both keeping fit and mostly finding comfort in things other than food, but occasionally finding it in food too. In other words, such folks balance their lives so they can have both and thus don't have to choose between the two.

 

[American]

Looks are important, but what's going on between the ears is way more important; because that's where the crazy lives.

 

[Xelor]

How did you ever survive the teen eye rolling phase?

Let's just say that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

(Rarely the first choice of disciplinary action, but used when needed.)​

Number one:

• I wasn't the one who had to "survive" it.

Number two:

• By establishing, well before that "phase" arrived, that my presence was a "no eye rolling" zone. I was the kind of parent who took swift action at the first display of insolence. That was never, ever tolerated. It still isn't; however, my kids are grown, thus well past the age of trying such a thing. I couldn't tell you when last any of my kids were in any way disrespectful to me; sometime in my youngest's early teens.
  • "You will not [insert unacceptable behavior]. Go to your room. You will not leave that room for next X days (usually two, sometimes three) unless I tell you to. There will be no phone, no television, no company besides the birds, bugs and squirrels that visit your window, and your meals will be brought to you. You will eat them in the time allotted or not eat."
• Note: My kids all went to boarding schools, so when they acted out around me, it generally was during a break. My oldest "got wise" and once "showed his ass" a day before he was to go to camp. He got to camp a day late, thus discovering his priorities and will did not supersede mine.