We met on a common, nationally known dating site. She contacted me and we had pretty normal email exchanges. We opened up some about sex and then it took off. I was very upfront and open, but not in a "creep" kind of way. :mrgreen: She began expressing her desire to be dominated by a man and said she'd never been able to stay in a relationship with a man because none of them could give her what she wanted. She is in her late 30's and is a school teacher. She is smart, articulate and I have loved our conversations.
I think I'm getting the hang of what she wants me to be, but I know I'm not there yet and have much more to learn. While I'm new at all of this, I don't think the D/s thing is necessarily much different, powerwise anyway, than the bible's instructions that the wife be obedient to her husband. She wants to be dominated, not beaten and abused. She wants a good man to take care of her, to teach her and guide her. I will attempt to be all of those for her because that is what she needs.
At the same time, I want to be able to have some elements of "normalcy". I think we can, I just have to get used to the idea that she wants that I dominate her and not treated as an "equal". In her mind, we are not and I guess it would just turn her off if I started treating her in the way that I was taught to treat women, as equals. Of course, I will only dominate her because
she has consented to it, she wants it and, she would probably tell you, she needs it.
Still, I am recently divorced and my totally non-submissive :blastem: ex-wife was never the best friend I always wanted her to be. So, I've wanted to find a woman who could understand how to be and wanted to be my best friend.
In this new relationship, it seems I have a woman who wants to totally surrender herself to me, who wants to be my lover and, I suppose, my friend. Like me, she too really enjoys football. In her discussions she could put a lot of male football fans to shame, seriously. She knows her stuff! We both have and love dogs. In earlier emails we learned a lot about each other and we just seem to really click.
In a lot of ways this seems too good to be true.
The thing that I want most, though, is that she love me for me. And if I'm playing this role as her dominant, is she going to love me or my dominate alter-ego? If my dog dies and I cry, will that be a turnoff? What will turn her off?
Life is sometimes strange. My ex-wife is very cold, rigid, stubborn and, perhaps, frigid. My new "girlfriend" is the polar opposite. She has written me lengthy emails in perverted detail of all of the things that she would like to do to me to "please" me, etc. It's really incredible. However, my hope is that we are compatible and can have a deep and meaningful relationship culminating in marriage and children, which she has stated she wants very much.
Thank you again for all of the excellent advice and I apprecate any quality feedback.