Do you feel that disrespect among young people (ages teens to early 20s) is rampant?
My own children are 16 and 14, and I'm telling you... cursing and disrespectful behavior isn't tolerated. Although they will try to get away with it, there are very clear and very swift consequences. My children do not swear at me, teachers or other adults. However, some of their friends DO and it seems that either because of lack of parental guidance or laxa-daisy enforcement by school officials country wide - it appears at least, to be an epidemic of sorts.
Thoughts?
Cursing doesn't bother me generally speaking - the words themselves are never offensive. I'm passionate about etymology. I and my children are creative communicators - we can come up with some pretty harsh and pert put-downs and verbal ventings without using them if we want to. I don't fear the words, they don't put me off or make me think of someone as being ignorant or crass and really - I don't like our societies stuffiness when it comes to certain words. The origins of what we considered foul curse words is based on prejudice and hatred of cultures / nationalities from the days of the past . . . I don't like racism and prejudice AT ALL so honestly - I always made sure my children knew the real origins of these horrid 'curse words' and why others find it so offensive . . . and why I do not.
Hmm - well - I think it's been brought up in another thread: but I have very different levels of what is 'ok' - It's fine to be whatever you want at home. Home is safe - not much judgement. Relax, kick back your feet - just don't hurt anyone and get your chores done and we're pretty much fine with anything.
However - public, school and family trips to see the grandparents . . . nope. The traditional levels of decency and respect firmly apply. Home and in our vehicle are the only two places where there are very few rules as far as that type of thing goes.
Thusly - violations outside the home are met with much more strict consequences when they do happen than my parents had done when I was growing up. One such response is to put the child on talk-limitation.
Yep - my children are told not to talk. . . usually for an entire day - or two days depending on what happened. (who things were said to - obvious this is in response to only verbal offenses)
I'm cruel and evil. Telling a kid they can't speak is as harsh as it gets - and it works. We only have one or two incidences a year and the last two have been with our 2nd son. He only curses when he's angry - it's never been a habit he 'picked up' casually like me.
Other than the cursing topic - we're strict on how they TREAT other people . . . my children are very polite and I don't tolerate wild behavior, back talk and attitude issues.
If something happens - a teacher is on their last nerve or the cashier was rude . . . they can let it out *when they're home* - I refuse to force my children to always bottle up their thoughts and feelings or learn that they can only take out their feelings while playing sports.
One crucial thing that was horribly absent from my childhood was the comfort with my parents to tell them whatever I was thinking - about whoever I was thinking it about - to any extent I felt necessary. I had to always keep it to myself and never say anything that they might considered 'rude or wrong' against others . . . I refuse to raise my children on such a leash.
The openness we have with our children is wonderful and something I never dreamed - and still don't see possible - with my family. If something's going on in my kid's life I want them to know they have me - if no one else will listen. I'll listen and odds are I've felt it at some point or thought the same thing.