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Zimmerman's Had Secret Concurrent Suit!

reinoe

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SANFORD, Fla.—A Civil Case jury has reached the verdict that Trayvon Martin is guilty of harrassing George Zimmerman. The eight person jury had been deliberating one of three options: whether the unarmed teenage Martin, walking home from a convenience store armed with an iced tea and Skittles, violated Zimmerman's civil rights, violated his 1st amendment rights, or engaged in aggravated trespassing. Martin was also found guilty of violating Zimmerman's second amendment rights after it turns out he tried to take Zimmerman's gun. Leaving court, Zimmerman said, “I found this entire ordeal extremely inconvenient, and I’m glad the people of Florida stand with me.”

“This is a victory not only for George Zimmerman, but also for the system, and really all Americans,” said defense attorney Don West.“Not a bad few weeks for knock-knock jokes either, if I do say so myself,” he added.

Speaking from the executive mansion in Tallahassee, Gov. Rick Scott told a cheering crowd that “Justice has been served.” He also noted that the wisdom of Florida’s controversial Stand Your Ground law – which allows citizens to use lethal force if they so much as believe they are about to be physically harmed – has, in defiance of independent study, been made clear. “We can all sleep safer at night knowing that men like George Zimmerman are ready to kill in our name if they see something they don’t like. Or might harm them. Or makes them uncomfortable. The important thing is that in the great state of Florida, the right to defend oneself has been preserved.” The governor also issued a stern warning to grocery-armed youths with an intent to look menacing.

Judge Debra Nelson took pity on the defendant and but could not suspend the suit, noting that the Martin family will still have to pay their debts to society. "The Martin family must pay restitution to the state of Florida and especially to the Zimmermans, noting that if the teen had never gone to the store in the first place this never would have happened.
 
usually people aim to be funny with satire
 
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