As I get older I find myself bucking some of the new ideas the younger generation have, but I always take a step back and contextualize it versus just reacting to my preferences. What I really do admire about the younger generations is their openness to new ideas about relationships, race etc. I think we're on a better course with people who are more open. I do my best to not become rigid mentally as the years go by; I put a concerted effort to assess first and opine afterward so when I talk to my daughter (who just became a teenage last week) I don't sound like a cranky reactionary father. I want to be able to guide her, and to do so there has to be that comfort of not being judged immediately.
You'll probably do just fine with your daughter. By the way, our own daughter just hit twenty-five and is a hardworking hair stylist/cosmetologist.
She too has some weird quirks to her values for relationships but I suspect she has a healthy overall outlook, it's just that she likes to set standards which might be tough to follow. Yes, she's hetero. The ideal "type" of guy she likes is unrealistic however.
But you never know, she might surprise us and snag her ideal guy, and then discover that her favorite "type" isn't all they're cracked up to be.
She's a big girl, about five eleven and a bit on the chunky side but she adores slim short and slightly androgynous Korean guys, like the kind you see in Korean K-Pop boy bands. Hence the reason my wife and I doubt she's going to score such a guy, but like I said, you never know!
Naturally all the guys she HAS dated in the past bear no resemblance to a K-Pop idol.
She's such a sweetheart that any guy would be lucky to get her, so it's just a question of time.
I am firmly convinced that marriage as an emotionally fulfilling arrangement is superior but I've been surprised by two couples I knew personally.
One was a buddy who "mail ordered" a wife to be from a Filipino group thirty five years ago. I had to eat a lot of crow because when we first heard about this, me and my friends ragged on him big time but we were wrong. The girl he got together with was a total angel, she adored him and she was a wonderful wife and mother. He just passed away this year, and she was the best thing that ever happened to him.
Another couple really was a total "arranged marriage" I kid you not. He's Indian, and his parents and the bride's parents arranged the whole thing.
He was lonely and decided "Why not?" and took the plunge. It's now twenty years later and they are still like two love birds.
He said that it took a couple of months for them to get used to each other but all of a sudden, he says, it was like the dam broke and they were head over heels in love and never looked back.
So yeah, maybe these older setups MIGHT work. But I still believe more in marrying someone you fall in love with.
I'm no shining example, mind you...my first wife was a girl I fell IN LUST with more than anything else.
She went after ME, she was more the initiator and aggressor, but the moment I realized she was pursuing me, I was floored and "the little head" took precedence over the big head, because she was stunning, and I was young, lonely and horny.
The first few years were pure bliss but she had a lot of baggage from her previous marriage and it all came out once we tied the knot.
Oh well, at least I have fond memories of the first few years of us living as hippies more or less.
I've done much better with the lady I am married to now, also a stunner but she has a much better head on her shoulders and I was in love with her, really in love, not just in lust.
I vote for marriage
"based on emotional fulfillment" but I recognize that there may be outlier cases where other arrangements might just work if you're careful, patient and very lucky.