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Well, I finally faced hate. A personal story.

Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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Hard to believe all this over a spot on a bowling team. Sucks.
 
Renae said:
They are in violation of anti-discrimination rules of the US Bowling Congress, but yeah... should hold them accountable...
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If you were to get their sanction revoked, or their team kicked from the league, that's still revenge and would have the same result.

Honestly, I think the best thing you could do is find another team on the league you could join and then you could smile, rub their noses in it every single week. Hell, you could also do what I used to do, become a roving sub so they have to see you every single week.

The one thing I know for sure is, revenge will only escalate the hatred, further the divide, and destroy any chance that they might see the error of their ways. Right now your conscience is clear, and believe me if you choose to strike back at them, it won't be.

Good luck to you, and I'm truly sorry you were treated that way.

.
 
Renae said:
Why did you change the her to him? Aside to be very insulting?
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He did it to communicate that he doesn't recognize gender changes. People are still entitled to their opinion. Personally, I have no desire to discriminate against those who call themselves trans-sexual, just don't burden me with your choice. That includes dictating my vocabulary.
 
I have no interest in dealing with somebody who comes into my life as a boy one day and a girl another day.

Make up your mind, that is not too much to expect.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
I have no interest in dealing with somebody who comes into my life as a boy one day and a girl another day.

Make up your mind, that is not too much to expect.
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why does it matter to you the gender another person chooses to present
 
justabubba said:
why does it matter to you the gender another person chooses to present
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Because I need to deal with serious people, and someone who wont make up their mind what gender they are or wish to play in life are not serious.

They need to take their chaos and leave.
 
Grim17 said:
Take it from me, revenge is never the answer. When you strike back, it justifies their hate. It clears their conscience of wronging you. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but the best thing you can do is smile and move on.

.
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Oh, I dunno. One thing I've learned over the years in debate is never say never. Depending on how it's done, and I mean constructively, revenge can provide some measure of satisfaction. It just depends on whether one has the time and inclination to properly execute a plan, such as recruiting a top-notch team comprised of talented bowlers who would work with you on executing it. I've hatched hundreds revenge of plots in my head over the years. THEN I get distracted, calm down, and move on. But I do feel better. :lol:

 
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Renae said:
Yeah, cause when you're wronged, you should just say "golly, I deserved this"
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You know, I reported someone at work for discrimination and I still haven't heard the end of it. Turn the other cheek, it's not worth the bother.
 
Sorry to hear this, people can be real jerks
 
it's just me said:
You know, I reported someone at work for discrimination and I still haven't heard the end of it. Turn the other cheek, it's not worth the bother.
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The only caveat to that is if you can get a quick cash settlement. If you're about to leave the company, you could start a retaliation claim and see if you can finesse some cash out of the company's legal department on your way out the door.
 
SDET said:
The only caveat to that is if you can get a quick cash settlement. If you're about to leave the company, you could start a retaliation claim and see if you can finesse some cash out of the company's legal department on your way out the door.
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Nah, nobody cares about EEOC violations, it's kind of like safety issues, everybody gets all het up for a week then it's over, I have had women tell me the same thing.
 
Casado said:
Again, why is it wrong for someone to not want to hang out with you?? That's my point. Go hang with others who are like minded!
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It's not "hanging out." It is continuing to participate in a competitive mixed bowling league she was already in.
 
Renae said:
They had weeks to talk to me about it, when I said this I now HAVE to do, and I do, they went behind my back. So... whatever, I won't be bowling with them, I'll file a grievance and get them banned from USBC and that will be that.
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Do it. Want to get their attention, have a lawyer put in on letterhead, plus a letter from the local LGBT organization you are in. Texas is not a good state for this, but still. Have you been paying any kind of dues to that league? If so, enforcing their rules may be possible as a contract matter despite Texas lacking protective laws. You literally have the potential of changing the entire league nationwide in practice, not just words they don't follow.

Ready to be a hero for your cause? Here's you chance. Hope you do and hope you win! Who knows how many people in the future will never know who to thank. But doing the right thing isn't about personal reward. The personal reward is knowing you did the right thing and accomplished something for others. That is the personal Karma and a legitimate source of personal pride. It is worth it.

Rule of a ethical life. Do the right thing. Do the right thing for others too.
 
joko104 said:
Do it. Want to get their attention, have a lawyer put in on letterhead, plus a letter from the local LGBT organization you are in. Texas is not a good state for this, but still. Have you been paying any kind of dues to that league? If so, enforcing their rules may be possible as a contract matter despite Texas lacking protective laws. You literally have the potential of changing the entire league nationwide in practice, not just words they don't follow.

Ready to be a hero for your cause? Here's you chance. Hope you do and hope you win! Who knows how many people in the future will never know who to thank. But doing the right thing isn't about personal reward. The personal reward is knowing you did the right thing and accomplished something for others. That is the personal Karma and a legitimate source of personal pride. It is worth it.

Rule of a ethical life. Do the right thing. Do the right thing for others too.
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I will pay no further dues, and what ever place the team ends in I get my cut of the prize pool.
 
Ahlevah said:
Oh, I dunno. One thing I've learned over the years in debate is never say never. Depending on how it's done, and I mean constructively, revenge can provide some measure of satisfaction. It just depends on whether one has the time and inclination to properly execute a plan, such as recruiting a top-notch team comprised of talented bowlers who would work with you on executing it. I've hatched hundreds revenge of plots in my head over the years. THEN I get distracted, calm down, and move on. But I do feel better. :lol:
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Compensation is better than revenge. Generally, one cannot spend revenge.
 
Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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Who is he? I'm confused.
 
CLAX1911 said:
It's the same person. I'm confused.
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Yes same person
Renae is trans.
So the "he" is Renae before Renae. She came out here on DP a while ago, I cant remember her previous name but you have been here long enough to possibly remember
 
Quag said:
Yes same person
Renae is trans.
So the "he" is Renae before Renae. She came out here on DP a while ago, I cant remember her previous name but you have been here long enough to possibly remember
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Yeah I know she's trans it's just bizarre to refer to yourself in the second person.
 
CLAX1911 said:
Yeah I know she's trans it's just bizarre to refer to yourself in the second person.
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:shrug:
Not sure how else he could have done it, but it made sense to me
 
Quag said:
Yes same person
Renae is trans.
So the "he" is Renae before Renae. She came out here on DP a while ago, I cant remember her previous name but you have been here long enough to possibly remember
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Mr Vicchio (Not sure of the exact spelling)
 
CLAX1911 said:
It's the same person. I'm confused.
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Okay sorry. I was in "man mode" so as not to cause a stir with people I didn;t know. My mistake, should have not tried to play that game. 95% of the time, I'm out as RENAE, I.E. Me, but in a few circumstances I make the choice (at least while I still can) to do otherwise, not for me, but to not cause issues.
 
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