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"Gaydar" --- your thoughts

Josie

Josie

*probably reading smut*
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Do you immediately assume someone is gay based on your "gaydar"? What characteristics lead you to that conclusion? Is the word "gaydar" offensive or appropriate or somewhere in between?

And, my main question --- if a man is seemingly happily married to a woman, would you still continue to insist that that man is gay based on your "gaydar"?

P.S. No, this question has nothing to do with me or my personal life. Just an observation from social media.
 
i have found that my assessments of the sexual orientation of others are often incorrect. not that i much care, but it is sort of interesting. others have assumed that i was gay incorrectly, as well. basically, my gaydar isn't very good.
 
Josie said:
And, my main question --- if a man is seemingly happily married to a woman, would you still continue to insist that that man is gay based on your "gaydar"?
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Is he a Republican? ;)
 
"Gaydar" = obsession with stereotyping
 
I've seen flaming effeminate men that were straight and burly macho types that were gay. Unless they're advertising it outright, it's not always an easy call. Besides, I could care less about people's sexuality, for me it's a private thing.
 
The OP’s “main question” is troubling, imo.


“...continue to insist” to who/m?
 
My "gaydar" is broken. Has always been broken. 25 years in California wine country and, maybe it was due to all the incoming signals being overwhelming, but it just didn't work very well. I quit trying to assign labels.
Now, about your assertion, sounds kind of personal to me. :)
 
I just assume everyone is hetero.

Once in a while there's the gay guy who even I can tell is gay.
 
Well when your waiter is fluttering around like a lightning bug...it's pretty safe to assume. However...i'm guessing it's not always that easy to tell.
 
I assume that everybody is gay...
 
trblmkr said:
My "gaydar" is broken. Has always been broken. 25 years in California wine country and, maybe it was due to all the incoming signals being overwhelming, but it just didn't work very well. I quit trying to assign labels.
Now, about your assertion, sounds kind of personal to me. :)
Click to expand...

15 years for me... West Sonoma County... a huge mix of liberal hippy wannabes, hicks and gay people along with your "normal" hetero component...
 
SouthernDemocrat said:
Is he a Republican? ;)
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It’s not just one person. I’m only sure of the political affiliation of one that I’m thinking of ... he’s definitely not a Republican.
 
Rexedgar said:
The OP’s “main question” is troubling, imo.


“...continue to insist” to who/m?
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It’s social media so ... to whoever follows and listens.
 
Helix said:
i have found that my assessments of the sexual orientation of others are often incorrect. not that i much care, but it is sort of interesting. others have assumed that i was gay incorrectly, as well. basically, my gaydar isn't very good.
Click to expand...

Mine is the same. My gaydar is not something to rely upon. I didn't know that Melissa Etheridge was a lesbian until I went to her Never Enough concert in 1992 and I was surrounded by 3500 lesbians at Nautica in the Cleveland Flats. At that point, it was kinda obvious.
 
Lisa said:
Mine is the same. My gaydar is not something to rely upon. I didn't know that Melissa Etheridge was a lesbian until I went to her Never Enough concert in 1992 and I was surrounded by 3500 lesbians at Nautica in the Cleveland Flats. At that point, it was kinda obvious.
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Sounds like my experience at the Indigo Girls;)
 
Acadia said:
That's what I hear...:lol:

omg, how much I loved them!
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I remember Closer To Fine and Hammer and Nail.

The late 1980s and 1990s was a great time for music.
 
Lisa said:
I remember Closer To Fine and Hammer and Nail.

The late 1980s and 1990s was a great time for music.
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Blasted those cd's in my car so many times. Thanks for sharing the memories.


"Are you on fire?". So righteous...
 
Acadia said:
Blasted those cd's in my car so many times. Thanks for sharing the memories.


"Are you on fire?". So righteous...
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My CD were Sass Jordan's Rats and Racine. If you ever heard me blasting them at max volume in the car I was likely tired of a BF's nonsense and probably not in the mood to talk.
 
Josie said:
Do you immediately assume someone is gay based on your "gaydar"? What characteristics lead you to that conclusion? Is the word "gaydar" offensive or appropriate or somewhere in between?

And, my main question --- if a man is seemingly happily married to a woman, would you still continue to insist that that man is gay based on your "gaydar"?

P.S. No, this question has nothing to do with me or my personal life. Just an observation from social media.
Click to expand...

Honestly, there's no way for me to even know if my "gaydar" is any good - because discussing someone else's sexuality so rarely arrises in conversation, I couldn't tell if any guess was right or wrong.

I do know one "happily married man" that everyone else seems to think is gay - but again, there's no way for me to ever know that. The couple has been happily married for decades, and frankly, what their own sexual exploitations might involve is anyone's guess, and will never be my business.

I've heard other people use the term gaydar - including many people who I know are gay by their own declaration - and they don't seem to be offended by the concept.

In short, perhaps the only people for whom gaydar even matters are the gay people who are looking for people to sexually relate to.
Gaydar would seem to serve no functional purpose whatsoever for straight people - so I couldn't imagine any reason to give it much thought.
 
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