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"Gaydar" --- your thoughts

Josie said:
Do you immediately assume someone is gay based on your "gaydar"? What characteristics lead you to that conclusion? Is the word "gaydar" offensive or appropriate or somewhere in between?

And, my main question --- if a man is seemingly happily married to a woman, would you still continue to insist that that man is gay based on your "gaydar"?

P.S. No, this question has nothing to do with me or my personal life. Just an observation from social media.
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I don't really find the word "gaydar" offensive, but in a sense, it does rely upon stereotypes of gay people. Like, I've gotten the "wow I didn't think you were gay" thing from lots of people, but a lot of that has to do with people have expectations on what a gay person probably looks like, due to stereotypes, which can end up being harmful at the end of the day.
 
Corpsie said:
Well when your waiter is fluttering around like a lightning bug...it's pretty safe to assume. However...i'm guessing it's not always that easy to tell.
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:lamo I chuckled a bit ngl
 
Josie said:
Do you immediately assume someone is gay based on your "gaydar"? What characteristics lead you to that conclusion? Is the word "gaydar" offensive or appropriate or somewhere in between?

And, my main question --- if a man is seemingly happily married to a woman, would you still continue to insist that that man is gay based on your "gaydar"?

P.S. No, this question has nothing to do with me or my personal life. Just an observation from social media.
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That term is offensive in my opinion. I have had some friends and coworkers who were gay over the years, and after beginning to get to know them, before they told me, I sensed that they might be gay. But unlike many people, I valued them for their hearts and personality, not for what their private preferences might be.

If a man I know is happily married to a woman, it wouldn't matter to me, or be my business if he was gay. I can only assume that his wife knows more about him than I would. If they're happy together, that's all that matters.

Are you sure that this question has nothing to do with you? It's fine if it does, you should be able to share your feelings with others here, and it may benefit you to some degree. I wonder if you're spending too much time on 'social media' and not experiencing real life with real people who are not behind a keyboard with an agenda.

Having said all that, I think of gays as equals and don't put them in a box, they are just other people, some good and some bad. Personally, all my interactions with gay people have been nothing but positive, I've had a couple of best friends, of both sexes, who happened to be gay.
 
Old 'N Chill said:
That term is offensive in my opinion. I have had some friends and coworkers who were gay over the years, and after beginning to get to know them, before they told me, I sensed that they might be gay. But unlike many people, I valued them for their hearts and personality, not for what their private preferences might be.

If a man I know is happily married to a woman, it wouldn't matter to me, or be my business if he was gay. I can only assume that his wife knows more about him than I would. If they're happy together, that's all that matters.

Are you sure that this question has nothing to do with you? It's fine if it does, you should be able to share your feelings with others here, and it may benefit you to some degree. I wonder if you're spending too much time on 'social media' and not experiencing real life with real people who are not behind a keyboard with an agenda.

Having said all that, I think of gays as equals and don't put them in a box, they are just other people, some good and some bad. Personally, all my interactions with gay people have been nothing but positive, I've had a couple of best friends, of both sexes, who happened to be gay.
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Heh ... yes, I'm very sure this question has nothing to do with me. :) I do spend way too much time online, for sure.
 
Helix said:
i have found that my assessments of the sexual orientation of others are often incorrect. not that i much care, but it is sort of interesting. others have assumed that i was gay incorrectly, as well. basically, my gaydar isn't very good.
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I tossed the whole gaydar thing back in the 80's when I ran into my first group of Bears. I was like, "WTF, these big burly mother****ers are gay? No way!"

Uh, yes way.

After that experience, I was much less likely to hazard a guess.
 
Liberace would show up as a blip. Rock Hudson not so much.
 
My gaydar is excellent. Most of the women that did not want to go out with me are lesbians... the rest just had good taste.
 
I think "gaydar" is a cute label for a universally human ability to unconsciously pick up sexual signals from others, in the form of pheromones and body language.

Its not a precision biology.

sometimes I can easily tell if somebody is gay.

But for instance a man that emphasizes sibilant sounds might sound effeminate but in my experience often it isn't much of an indication one way or the other.

Just like lesbians, some are easy to spot but many fly completely under my gaydar. Is this something females experience with either sex. too?
 
Josie said:
Do you immediately assume someone is gay based on your "gaydar"? What characteristics lead you to that conclusion? Is the word "gaydar" offensive or appropriate or somewhere in between?

And, my main question --- if a man is seemingly happily married to a woman, would you still continue to insist that that man is gay based on your "gaydar"?

P.S. No, this question has nothing to do with me or my personal life. Just an observation from social media.
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Sure sometimes i get the impression that someone is gay without them coming out and telling me so. Its normal for people to pick up on nonverbal cues from people. Cant you sometimes tell when a man or a woman is sexually attracted to you without them coming right out and telling you?

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Re: "Gaydar" --- your thoughts

Corpsie said:
Well when your waiter is fluttering around like a lightning bug...it's pretty safe to assume. However...i'm guessing it's not always that easy to tell.
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I will never forget this as long as I live. I was at a renassiance festival walking down a wooded path looking at the shops. (The festivals are basically an outdoor mall that you pay to get into) along comes a skinny blonde guy skipping down the bath, shirtless, bicycle shorts, and wear the biggest pair of fairy wings I have ever seen. Im not a rocket scientist but I am pretty sure he was gay.
It was one of the funniest things I ever saw.

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grip said:
I've seen flaming effeminate men that were straight and burly macho types that were gay. Unless they're advertising it outright, it's not always an easy call. Besides, I could care less about people's sexuality, for me it's a private thing.
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Ding, ding ding! We have a winner!
 
Ftr any woman who rejects me is totally gay

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trouble13 said:
Veal is beef, baby cows.

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Mutton... I would like to say that I should have remembered that in all my years of fine dining but I would have to say that I don't think that the places I worked in (Five Star and Michelin Star places) served either. :shrug:
 
Almost forty years in the film-video business so I started out with low functioning gaydar but apparently I'm now sort of good at picking up on it most of the time. I'm guessing at least one third of the production industry is gay.

But for me the real laugh-getters the are little old Italian grandmas.
They were Liberace's bread and butter, and I guarantee you at least half of them had no idea Liberace was gay. :lamo
 
Bodhisattva said:
Mutton... I would like to say that I should have remembered that in all my years of fine dining but I would have to say that I don't think that the places I worked in (Five Star and Michelin Star places) served either. :shrug:
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Mutton is sheep
Shepards pie is beef

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Josie said:
Do you immediately assume someone is gay based on your "gaydar"? What characteristics lead you to that conclusion? Is the word "gaydar" offensive or appropriate or somewhere in between?

And, my main question --- if a man is seemingly happily married to a woman, would you still continue to insist that that man is gay based on your "gaydar"?

P.S. No, this question has nothing to do with me or my personal life. Just an observation from social media.
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Stupid, I know men and women that you would never guess are gay or lesbian, there is no gaydar , just Idiots that think they know something that isn't true.
 
trouble13 said:
Ftr any woman who rejects me is totally gay

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Your argument is very fallacious. I've rejected a lot of men but I am very heterosexual. Maybe she rejected you because she finds you to be utterly abhorrent.
 
Lisa said:
Your argument is very fallacious. I've rejected a lot of men but I am very heterosexual. Maybe she rejected you because she finds you to be utterly abhorrent.
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Not possible

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trouble13 said:
Not possible

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Delusions are fixed beliefs that do not change, even when a person is presented with conflicting evidence. Delusions are considered "bizarre" if they are clearly implausible and peers within the same culture cannot understand them. An example of a bizarre delusion is when an individual believes that his or her organs have been replaced with someone else's without leaving any wounds or scars. An example of a nonbizarre delusion is the belief that one is under police surveillance, despite a lack of evidence.

Delusional disorder refers to a condition in which an individual displays one or more delusions for one month or longer. Delusional disorder is distinct from schizophrenia and cannot be diagnosed if a person meets the criteria for schizophrenia. If a person has delusional disorder, functioning is generally not impaired and behavior is not obviously odd, with the exception of the delusion. Delusions may seem believable at face value, and patients may appear normal as long as an outsider does not touch upon their delusional themes. Also, these delusions are not due to a medical condition or substance abuse.
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Delusional Disorder | Psychology Today
 
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