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Joys of living single

calamity

calamity

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I can’t say that I’ve experienced enough of it to make a call, but if I ever found myself single again, I’d probably make a concerted effort to stay that way. Living with others has its challenges.

Singles Awareness Day: The benefits of being single - CNN

Others Kislev interviewed were happy because they intentionally built robust social circles as alternatives to intimate romantic relationships. They invited their friends to accompany them on outings more; spent more time talking to their neighbors and staying in touch with family.

The findings showed that widowed, divorced and never-married individuals socialized with their friends up to 45% more frequently than their married counterparts.

"On average, singles have more friends than married people," Kislev said. "We see a phenomenon of 'greedy marriage,' in which couples turn inwards and forget their friends and relatives. Instead, singles cast a wide net of friends that better support them in all walks of life."
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I can see that. Being in a monogamous relationship does tend to resemble living on a small private island we call the nuclear family.
 
At my age, I feel the same way, Cal...if anything should happen to my husband, I would not remarry but remain blissfully single...men my age are either looking for a purse or a nurse...I ain't got no money and I've done enough nursin' to last a lifetime...:2razz:
 
Elvira said:
At my age, I feel the same way, Cal...if anything should happen to my husband, I would not remarry but remain blissfully single...men my age are either looking for a purse or a nurse...I ain't got no money and I've done enough nursin' to last a lifetime...:2razz:
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First thing I'd do is sell the house and find a good home for my dogs. Then, I'd rent an apartment above one of the swanky malls that are built to look like small villages. Next, I'd swing for the fences every night, chasing after women who are a little older than a 1/3 of my age. I figure I might get lucky one out of ever 50-100 tries. That should keep me busy. :)
 
calamity said:
First thing I'd do is sell the house and find a good home for my dogs. Then, I'd rent an apartment above one of the swanky malls that are built to look like small villages. Next, I'd swing for the fences every night, chasing after women who are a little older than a 1/3 of my age. I figure I might get lucky one out of ever 50-100 tries. That should keep me busy. :)
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More power to ya'...I ain't got that kinda stamina anymore...I would sell the house, though, and get a one floor living place, small, with easy upkeep, and live out the rest of my days in a quiet life...quiet is good these days...I've had to attend 2 parties in the last month and after about an hour, I was ready to head home...the noise of so many people talking/laughing all at once really got to me...I'm getting old...:(
 
Tiny house, reasonable property, dogs and cats. I am married to the love of my life, and he is irreplaceable.
 
Elvira said:
More power to ya'...I ain't got that kinda stamina anymore...I would sell the house, though, and get a one floor living place, small, with easy upkeep, and live out the rest of my days in a quiet life...quiet is good these days...I've had to attend 2 parties in the last month and after about an hour, I was ready to head home...the noise of so many people talking/laughing all at once really got to me...I'm getting old...:(
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Yeah, small place with no upkeep; that is definitely the ticket.

Seriously, I would basically spend all my free time riding my bike and writing my books. But, I doubt I would be happy without my muse. Whenever I travel for work, I find myself really enjoying the first few days away from home. However, after about three days, I find myself really missing the wife and dogs. :(
 
Lovebug said:
Tiny house, reasonable property, dogs and cats. I am married to the love of my life, and he is irreplaceable.
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Yeah, it's when you found someone you really like but still see the upside of living alone that makes me wonder what is going on. It must be the "Can't eat steak every night" syndrome. I need a Sloppy Joe now and then, dammit!
 
I am one of the unusual ones in the sense that I never did get married. Even as early as high school I knew I did not want children, and I didn't want to get married. I considered myself a "career" woman and pursued my personal goals and dreams and fancies. To me being single means freedom. Having my freedom has been more important to me than anything.

The role of female in society when I was growing up was to get married and to have kids. Nope. Not for me. There is a certain level of loneliness to being single, but like the article says, single people reach out more to others for the emotional contact they need.

I will say this, though, I am starting to feel that having a companion to grow old with and to help each other in times of health challenges and such sounds more and more appealing to me as the days go by. I will be 70 this year.
 
It wouldn't make a difference here. At the moment, 8 grandkids visiting, 3 of their dogs, two neighbors, some kids I don't recognize. The sound system is blaring in one room, the TV in another, in a third 3 guitarists and a banjo player (out of tune), a fiddle player will be here soon. None of them ever stop eating. My wife is holding court in the kitchen, demanding I do some cooking. The neighbors can eat in their own homes. I've lived in this apartment for more than 40 years. It has never known peace and quiet. Good thing I can't get pregnant. I need a nap. Noise canceling headphones and my recliner in the den with the door locked from the inside. It is a small space, but it is unequivocally mine.
 
calamity said:
I can’t say that I’ve experienced enough of it to make a call, but if I ever found myself single again, I’d probably make a concerted effort to stay that way. Living with others has its challenges.

Singles Awareness Day: The benefits of being single - CNN



I can see that. Being in a monogamous relationship does tend to resemble living on a small private island we call the nuclear family.
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So true! Life is much more fun when you're out doing things and making friends. Instead of sitting on the couch watching movies with your spouse.

It is A LOT easier to stay home with someone you know. If you're single, you have to make that effort.
 
hermit said:
I am one of the unusual ones in the sense that I never did get married. Even as early as high school I knew I did not want children, and I didn't want to get married. I considered myself a "career" woman and pursued my personal goals and dreams and fancies. To me being single means freedom. Having my freedom has been more important to me than anything.

The role of female in society when I was growing up was to get married and to have kids. Nope. Not for me. There is a certain level of loneliness to being single, but like the article says, single people reach out more to others for the emotional contact they need.

I will say this, though, I am starting to feel that having a companion to grow old with and to help each other in times of health challenges and such sounds more and more appealing to me as the days go by. I will be 70 this year.
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I always felt the same way. I knew when I was a child that I would never want to have any.

I don't know if I feel the same way about having a companion to grow old with. Being an invalid's nurse is very difficult, especially if you have no experience. And I don't want anyone to take care of me. I would feel too guilty.
 
Good4Nothin said:
I always felt the same way. I knew when I was a child that I would never want to have any.

I don't know if I feel the same way about having a companion to grow old with. Being an invalid's nurse is very difficult, especially if you have no experience. And I don't want anyone to take care of me. I would feel too guilty.
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I was thinking more like taking each other to the doctors office or driving each other places you need to go. I haven't really thought this through much, though. I agree that I would also feel guilty if someone had to take care of me, but when you need help, you need help. I've had two hip replacement operations and I was grateful for the help I received from my brother and his wife during the first recuperation period, and I was grateful for the help from my then roommate for my second recuperation period. It's nice to be near someone who cares about you personally when you have health challenges.
 
calamity said:
Yeah, it's when you found someone you really like but still see the upside of living alone that makes me wonder what is going on. It must be the "Can't eat steak every night" syndrome. I need a Sloppy Joe now and then, dammit!
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We are hoping to go out together while having a tumble, but one never knows who goes first. It is one of the mysteries of life.
 
Lovebug said:
We are hoping to go out together while having a tumble, but one never knows who goes first. It is one of the mysteries of life.
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I am ten years older but still expect to go out later. It's just one of those hunches I have. Come in alone, go out alone; I am sure of it.
 
OldFatGuy said:
It wouldn't make a difference here. At the moment, 8 grandkids visiting, 3 of their dogs, two neighbors, some kids I don't recognize. The sound system is blaring in one room, the TV in another, in a third 3 guitarists and a banjo player (out of tune), a fiddle player will be here soon. None of them ever stop eating. My wife is holding court in the kitchen, demanding I do some cooking. The neighbors can eat in their own homes. I've lived in this apartment for more than 40 years. It has never known peace and quiet. Good thing I can't get pregnant. I need a nap. Noise canceling headphones and my recliner in the den with the door locked from the inside. It is a small space, but it is unequivocally mine.
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My mom is like that. She loves it when the other family members visit because they bring along a small army. Great grandkids jumping in the pool, trampling all through the house, screams and all sorts of other noise that little kids do makes her day.

Me, I avoid visiting on those days, choosing instead to fly down on a weekday nowhere near any holidays. :)
 
calamity said:
My mom is like that. She loves it when the other family members visit because they bring along a small army. Great grandkids jumping in the pool, trampling all through the house, screams and all sorts of other noise that little kids do makes her day.

Me, I avoid visiting on those days, choosing instead to fly down on a weekday nowhere near any holidays. :)
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Of course.
 
OldFatGuy said:
Of course.
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I'm typical of most artists. I prefer to be introverted but can put on my mask when needed to go out in public now ant then to earn a few bucks. Or, expressed better yet, when I was single, I could always pretend to be something I am not.
 
Elvira said:
At my age, I feel the same way, Cal...if anything should happen to my husband, I would not remarry but remain blissfully single...men my age are either looking for a purse or a nurse...I ain't got no money and I've done enough nursin' to last a lifetime...:2razz:
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If you're good-looking, you can always land a man.
 
Elvira said:
That's just it...I don't want another man to take care of...;)
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My wife says her shift begins on Friday nights, ends Sunday evening. :)

Mine begins on Monday and ends Friday night. We get along well, with these split shifts, amazingly so, actually.
 
Elvira said:
That's just it...I don't want another man to take care of...;)
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Taking care of someone can be extremely difficult, depending on what is wrong with them. When I was still working full time, my mother got dementia. She couldn't remember anything and was completely helpless. You can't even trust someone like that to be alone.

I talked to people about it, read about it, it was the center of my life. I found that some people are ok with taking care of a dementia patient, and some don't even mind sacrificing their own financial future. They would do anything for their parents, or spouse.

Others felt overwhelmed and thought that an assisted living home could do a better job. That's what I eventually decided.

I found that it is common for care-takers to lose their own health, from the constant stress. And forget about having hobbies or a social life.

A married couple helping each other in small ways is different. But dementia seems to be very common now, and it is tragic and awful and requires tremendous self-sacrifice.

Even after my mother was in assisted living, I was constantly worrying about her and feeling guilty. And I had to visit often because there were no other relatives nearby. I felt like I lost myself.

And to make it even worse, there were certain people who judged me, for not taking care of her myself.
 
calamity said:
My wife says her shift begins on Friday nights, ends Sunday evening. :)

Mine begins on Monday and ends Friday night. We get along well, with these split shifts, amazingly so, actually.
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Oh, if only...my husband is retired so I'm on call 24/7...I wear many hats...but he's good to me and would do anything I ask...I just get tired of askin'...sometimes doin' things without having to be asked is nice...don't know how many times I've told him that emptying the dishwasher or runnin' the vacuum is foreplay...:2razz:
 
Good4Nothin said:
Taking care of someone can be extremely difficult, depending on what is wrong with them. When I was still working full time, my mother got dementia. She couldn't remember anything and was completely helpless. You can't even trust someone like that to be alone.

I talked to people about it, read about it, it was the center of my life. I found that some people are ok with taking care of a dementia patient, and some don't even mind sacrificing their own financial future. They would do anything for their parents, or spouse.

Others felt overwhelmed and thought that an assisted living home could do a better job. That's what I eventually decided.

I found that it is common for care-takers to lose their own health, from the constant stress. And forget about having hobbies or a social life.

A married couple helping each other in small ways is different. But dementia seems to be very common now, and it is tragic and awful and requires tremendous self-sacrifice.

Even after my mother was in assisted living, I was constantly worrying about her and feeling guilty. And I had to visit often because there were no other relatives nearby. I felt like I lost myself.

And to make it even worse, there were certain people who judged me, for not taking care of her myself.
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I here ya...ya can only spread yourself so thin before it takes it's tole....can't help but think of that old adage..."walk a mile in my shoes"...no one knows what it's like until they live it...
 
Elvira said:
That's just it...I don't want another man to take care of...;)
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I'm determined to never go into a nursing home. I will fight it to the death I don't want anyone to have to take care of me. I want to be like Jack LaLanne. Caught pneumonia at 96. Instead of going to the doctor, he worked out for two hours. Died the next day. Love it.
 
Mashmont said:
I'm determined to never go into a nursing home. I will fight it to the death I don't want anyone to have to take care of me. I want to be like Jack LaLanne. Caught pneumonia at 96. Instead of going to the doctor, he worked out for two hours. Died the next day. Love it.
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I think that's what I'll do! Great idea. I love Jack Lalanne's whole attitude about exercise. It keeps you feeling young, and then when the time comes it can help you die.
 
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