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Lorenzo

Fletch said:
I dont get the impression from you that you are in love with this guy. He seems to fill some needs in your life but if you know its not going anywhere (and I think you know that) then if you care about him at all you should let him know. Sorry, and its entirely possible that I am wrong, but I cant help but feeling you are leading this guy on. You need him around but arent sexually attracted to him. You are clearly being more open with us, total strangers, then you are with him. Why not let him read this thread? Let him read the thoughts you are afraid to say in person and let him hear how people think you should handle it. Then you two can discuss it as adults and move forward from there.
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Oh my god, no!!!! No one in the world can know this is me here at this forum. Oh heavens, what a horror that would be. I express my political opinions on the politics forum, for one thing. Oh what a disaster if anyone I know read that. :shock:

And jeez, I can't even let Lorenzo see this thread. Horrible, horrible.

But yeah, I did lead him on. Because I thought it might go somewhere. Now I'm starting to feel like it won't. If nothing else, his financial and health problems are not something women my age are interested in being part of. I would rather be with someone who isn't so stressed out. His old car is making noises and he doesn't want to buy a new one. Stuff like that, that most of us had too much of when we were younger, and don't want to think about any more.

Not that I would reject someone just because they don't have a lot of money. It's just another thing on the list.

But yeah, I was thinking about telling him that I agree with his previous statement that we aren't compatible sexually. Even if sex was good, it would never be enough for him.
 
Good4Nothin said:
Oh my god, no!!!! No one in the world can know this is me here at this forum. Oh heavens, what a horror that would be. I express my political opinions on the politics forum, for one thing. Oh what a disaster if anyone I know read that. :shock:

And jeez, I can't even let Lorenzo see this thread. Horrible, horrible.

But yeah, I did lead him on. Because I thought it might go somewhere. Now I'm starting to feel like it won't. If nothing else, his financial and health problems are not something women my age are interested in being part of. I would rather be with someone who isn't so stressed out. His old car is making noises and he doesn't want to buy a new one. Stuff like that, that most of us had too much of when we were younger, and don't want to think about any more.

Not that I would reject someone just because they don't have a lot of money. It's just another thing on the list.
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I get it. Im 56 and on the dating scene. I dont drag out relationships that I know are going nowhere. I have dated women I really like but have let them go for what might seem petty reasons. Im not sure exactly what I am looking for, but I know what I dont want. I dont want drama. I dont want drunks or party animals. And I dont want someone who brings their financial instability with them. If at 50 years old all you have to offer is an unfurnished apartment, im out. Im not looking for a dependent, im looking for a partner. You have listed numerous reasons why this guy isnt right for you, have achieved a consensus in that view from people here and likely elsewhere, so cut the cord. Whats the downside in doing that?
 
Good4Nothin said:
I wrote about my friend Lorenzo in my other thread, about non-marital sex. Our first date was last October and we have not had sex yet, and this makes him very unhappy.

I don't know if it's because he is very horny and desperate for sex, or because he really loves me and is feeling rejected.

We were together tonight, working on our project. As usual, we were having a nice time. But as usual he brought up sex. He said he had been extremely depressed a couple of days ago, and didn't even want to live. He thinks one of the reasons was that I am not interested in having sex with him. He feels lonely and unloved, I guess. And it's my fault.

But do I want to be seriously involved with someone who tries to make me feel guilty that way?
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At least he doesn't hump your leg.
 
You people should be ashamed at yerself only wanting relationships with perfect people...No wonder you be on a political message board giving and taking advice on how to function in real life, you're lonely because you re too picky and"don't want to be bothered with real life". I stay miles away from old farts like yous....I am 58 and someday I'll be old but by golly not today.
 
Fletch said:
I get it. Im 56 and on the dating scene. I dont drag out relationships that I know are going nowhere. I have dated women I really like but have let them go for what might seem petty reasons. Im not sure exactly what I am looking for, but I know what I dont want. I dont want drama. I dont want drunks or party animals. And I dont want someone who brings their financial instability with them. If at 50 years old all you have to offer is an unfurnished apartment, im out. Im not looking for a dependent, im looking for a partner. You have listed numerous reasons why this guy isnt right for you, have achieved a consensus in that view from people here and likely elsewhere, so cut the cord. Whats the downside in doing that?
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We are very connected with our music project. So as long as that is going well, we will probably stay connected. I just have to let him know we are on different wavelengths sexually. Then he will probably find another romantic partner. But maybe we will still be together as friends and musicians.
 
Moonglow said:
You people should be ashamed at yerself only wanting relationships with perfect people...No wonder you be on a political message board giving and taking advice on how to function in real life, you're lonely because you re too picky and"don't want to be bothered with real life". I stay miles away from old farts like yous....I am 58 and someday I'll be old but by golly not today.
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Yeah, I kept reminding myself that I don't need, or deserve, a perfect romantic partner. I'm no prize. But I also don't need to walk directly into some kind of mine field either.
 
Good4Nothin said:
We have been very affectionate. I thought maybe I could have it both ways -- love and affection without the hazards of a serious intimate relationship. That was making me happy.

But it was driving Lorenzo crazy, and he was driving me crazy. Can't have it both ways.

I don't want to just get away, because there is too much good. But I am wary of getting into a serious commitment with this guy who might not be perfect for me. He might be very far from perfect for me.

I just don't know! I get along with him fine, as long as I ignore all those things that bother me. But that's easy as long as I am not with him all the time. If we were married we might be very unhappy. Especially if he wanted sex at least every day.
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We have been very affectionate.
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There it is, so its time to have sex? I mean, poor man. You're torturing the guy in a way


I thought maybe I could have it both ways
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You can't hun. It's not fair to him
 
Luther said:
There it is, so its time to have sex? I mean, poor man. You're torturing the guy in a way




You can't hun. It's not fair to him
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Yeah, I feel guilty enough. Comments that said run away he's bad news were not looking at the whole picture.
 
Good4Nothin said:
I wrote about my friend Lorenzo in my other thread, about non-marital sex. Our first date was last October and we have not had sex yet, and this makes him very unhappy.

I don't know if it's because he is very horny and desperate for sex, or because he really loves me and is feeling rejected.

We were together tonight, working on our project. As usual, we were having a nice time. But as usual he brought up sex. He said he had been extremely depressed a couple of days ago, and didn't even want to live. He thinks one of the reasons was that I am not interested in having sex with him. He feels lonely and unloved, I guess. And it's my fault.

But do I want to be seriously involved with someone who tries to make me feel guilty that way?
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With all due respect to others who have weighed in, here is the ACTUAL deal.

Explain to him that men are expected not to tell women the tenemental truth about their sordid infatuation in order to arrive at sex, but to lie, and not like a rug, but a flying carpet.

Once he understands this, tell him you're willing to forgive his initial ineptitude, and permit him to take one more all-or-nothing run at the so far indifferent pink.

You're welcome.

:thumbs:
 
3leftsdoo said:
With all due respect to others who have weighed in, here is the ACTUAL deal.

Explain to him that men are expected not to tell women the tenemental truth about their sordid infatuation in order to arrive at sex, but to lie, and not like a rug, but a flying carpet.

Once he understands this, tell him you're willing to forgive his initial ineptitude, and permit him to take one more all-or-nothing run at the so far indifferent pink.

You're welcome.

:thumbs:
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But exactly what lies should I tell him to tell me?
 
3leftsdoo said:
With all due respect to others who have weighed in, here is the ACTUAL deal.

Explain to him that men are expected not to tell women the tenemental truth about their sordid infatuation in order to arrive at sex, but to lie, and not like a rug, but a flying carpet.

Once he understands this, tell him you're willing to forgive his initial ineptitude, and permit him to take one more all-or-nothing run at the so far indifferent pink.

You're welcome.

:thumbs:
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He's already told her that lack of sex is making him suicidal. If that lie doesn't get him laid, I don't know what will.
 
Someone needs to start a GoFundMe to get this guy a nize sex worker; it's a shame we missed the Valentine's Day window...
 
bearpoker said:
He's already told her that lack of sex is making him suicidal. If that lie doesn't get him laid, I don't know what will.
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Hey now - if being in love isn't making you suicidal, you're not doing it right.
 
Oh poor old Lorenzo. We are still friends, still love each other, but no sex. I don't know where this will lead. I feel like I can't, but why? Do I feel that he isn't the "one?" I guess. We have political differences, but I had decided I would not let politics interfere with any of my friendships or relationships. Or could it be other things? I don't know. :?
 
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