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Am I normal? I am a plain Jane but I only want to date the really hot guys

W

Wan

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Hello. I have a question for the fine people here on this board: I am a plain Jane (I'd say I am a 5 out of 10. 6 on a best day), but I only hanker after the really hot guys (imagine the 9's and 10's). Do you think this is normal? Do you think I am shallow?

I just want to make it clear that I don't actually have unrealistically high expectations. As in, I do not carry around a list in my head that goes like, "Ok, my guy must be 6 foot 3, blond-haired and blue-eyed, with washboard abs, an impeccable jawline, and a 7-figure income". No. That is not what I am about at all. However, I absolutely do not feel attraction for average-looking guys. They just don't "do it" for me. Maybe some of them have an amazing personality. Maybe they are funny, maybe they are playful, maybe they have a magnetic presence...etc etc. But I have never been attracted to any of them long enough to get over that initial hump to discover any of those things about them. Do you think this is shallowness on my part? I really hope that it's not. I just think that everybody has her "type", and it just so happens that my type are the latter-day Adonis.

To compound the matter is that I am myself a very average-looking woman. I am not trying to be humble, this is a genuine self-appraisal. I am really not much to look at. I'd say I am not ugly either because there had been a few guys who showed interest in me, however they were all pretty average-looking themselves. So needless to say, nothing ever became of it. I am 39 years old and I have never had a boyfriend before. I really think a huge part of this is due to the fact I only have eyes for the super-hot, but these guys, being the hot guys that they are, don't give women like me a second glance.

I am not sure what I am trying to get at here. I guess I am looking for advice. But I am not quite sure what kind of advice I am looking for. Should I "change" myself, and force myself to be attracted to average-looking dudes, or should I be asking people here where I can find the supreme hotties and how to make them fall for well, someone like me?

Any input is greatly appreciated.
 
Are you significantly overweight? What is your employment and economic situation?

Age 39 and never a boyfriend is very (very) rare. That also may answer your own question. However, I also read recently that over 50% of young people now in the USA do not have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
 
Tinder?
 
Wan said:
Hello. I have a question for the fine people here on this board: I am a plain Jane (I'd say I am a 5 out of 10. 6 on a best day), but I only hanker after the really hot guys (imagine the 9's and 10's). Do you think this is normal? Do you think I am shallow?

I just want to make it clear that I don't actually have unrealistically high expectations. As in, I do not carry around a list in my head that goes like, "Ok, my guy must be 6 foot 3, blond-haired and blue-eyed, with washboard abs, an impeccable jawline, and a 7-figure income". No. That is not what I am about at all. However, I absolutely do not feel attraction for average-looking guys. They just don't "do it" for me. Maybe some of them have an amazing personality. Maybe they are funny, maybe they are playful, maybe they have a magnetic presence...etc etc. But I have never been attracted to any of them long enough to get over that initial hump to discover any of those things about them. Do you think this is shallowness on my part? I really hope that it's not. I just think that everybody has her "type", and it just so happens that my type are the latter-day Adonis.

To compound the matter is that I am myself a very average-looking woman. I am not trying to be humble, this is a genuine self-appraisal. I am really not much to look at. I'd say I am not ugly either because there had been a few guys who showed interest in me, however they were all pretty average-looking themselves. So needless to say, nothing ever became of it. I am 39 years old and I have never had a boyfriend before. I really think a huge part of this is due to the fact I only have eyes for the super-hot, but these guys, being the hot guys that they are, don't give women like me a second glance.

I am not sure what I am trying to get at here. I guess I am looking for advice. But I am not quite sure what kind of advice I am looking for. Should I "change" myself, and force myself to be attracted to average-looking dudes, or should I be asking people here where I can find the supreme hotties and how to make them fall for well, someone like me?

Any input is greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...

Water seeks its own level.
 
Wan said:
Hello. I have a question for the fine people here on this board: I am a plain Jane (I'd say I am a 5 out of 10. 6 on a best day), but I only hanker after the really hot guys (imagine the 9's and 10's). Do you think this is normal? Do you think I am shallow?

I just want to make it clear that I don't actually have unrealistically high expectations. As in, I do not carry around a list in my head that goes like, "Ok, my guy must be 6 foot 3, blond-haired and blue-eyed, with washboard abs, an impeccable jawline, and a 7-figure income". No. That is not what I am about at all. However, I absolutely do not feel attraction for average-looking guys. They just don't "do it" for me. Maybe some of them have an amazing personality. Maybe they are funny, maybe they are playful, maybe they have a magnetic presence...etc etc. But I have never been attracted to any of them long enough to get over that initial hump to discover any of those things about them. Do you think this is shallowness on my part? I really hope that it's not. I just think that everybody has her "type", and it just so happens that my type are the latter-day Adonis.

To compound the matter is that I am myself a very average-looking woman. I am not trying to be humble, this is a genuine self-appraisal. I am really not much to look at. I'd say I am not ugly either because there had been a few guys who showed interest in me, however they were all pretty average-looking themselves. So needless to say, nothing ever became of it. I am 39 years old and I have never had a boyfriend before. I really think a huge part of this is due to the fact I only have eyes for the super-hot, but these guys, being the hot guys that they are, don't give women like me a second glance.

I am not sure what I am trying to get at here. I guess I am looking for advice. But I am not quite sure what kind of advice I am looking for. Should I "change" myself, and force myself to be attracted to average-looking dudes, or should I be asking people here where I can find the supreme hotties and how to make them fall for well, someone like me?

Any input is greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...

I'll give you the same comment I give the guys when they ask stuff like this...getting to know someone doesn't mean you have to **** them. Try getting to know a guy before you start the "boyfriend" **** and you might get lucky before you hit 40.
 
Wan said:
No.

Do these things matter?

To answer: I work on a part-time basis. I will be going back to school in September.


Call me prejudiced, but I have always thought people who needed to find love online are losers in some way.
Click to expand...


You beat me to it.....
 
Wan said:
Hello. I have a question for the fine people here on this board: I am a plain Jane (I'd say I am a 5 out of 10. 6 on a best day), but I only hanker after the really hot guys (imagine the 9's and 10's). Do you think this is normal? Do you think I am shallow?

I just want to make it clear that I don't actually have unrealistically high expectations. As in, I do not carry around a list in my head that goes like, "Ok, my guy must be 6 foot 3, blond-haired and blue-eyed, with washboard abs, an impeccable jawline, and a 7-figure income". No. That is not what I am about at all. However, I absolutely do not feel attraction for average-looking guys. They just don't "do it" for me. Maybe some of them have an amazing personality. Maybe they are funny, maybe they are playful, maybe they have a magnetic presence...etc etc. But I have never been attracted to any of them long enough to get over that initial hump to discover any of those things about them. Do you think this is shallowness on my part? I really hope that it's not. I just think that everybody has her "type", and it just so happens that my type are the latter-day Adonis.

To compound the matter is that I am myself a very average-looking woman. I am not trying to be humble, this is a genuine self-appraisal. I am really not much to look at. I'd say I am not ugly either because there had been a few guys who showed interest in me, however they were all pretty average-looking themselves. So needless to say, nothing ever became of it. I am 39 years old and I have never had a boyfriend before. I really think a huge part of this is due to the fact I only have eyes for the super-hot, but these guys, being the hot guys that they are, don't give women like me a second glance.

I am not sure what I am trying to get at here. I guess I am looking for advice. But I am not quite sure what kind of advice I am looking for. Should I "change" myself, and force myself to be attracted to average-looking dudes, or should I be asking people here where I can find the supreme hotties and how to make them fall for well, someone like me?

Any input is greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...

Yes, you are normal. And it's a numbers game. The more guys you meet, the more guys you will meet who happen to be attracted to you. Eventually, you will be attracted to one of them. Go out and meet as many people as you can and be patient.
 
Wan said:
Hello. I have a question for the fine people here on this board: I am a plain Jane (I'd say I am a 5 out of 10. 6 on a best day), but I only hanker after the really hot guys (imagine the 9's and 10's). Do you think this is normal? Do you think I am shallow?

I just want to make it clear that I don't actually have unrealistically high expectations. As in, I do not carry around a list in my head that goes like, "Ok, my guy must be 6 foot 3, blond-haired and blue-eyed, with washboard abs, an impeccable jawline, and a 7-figure income". No. That is not what I am about at all. However, I absolutely do not feel attraction for average-looking guys. They just don't "do it" for me. Maybe some of them have an amazing personality. Maybe they are funny, maybe they are playful, maybe they have a magnetic presence...etc etc. But I have never been attracted to any of them long enough to get over that initial hump to discover any of those things about them. Do you think this is shallowness on my part? I really hope that it's not. I just think that everybody has her "type", and it just so happens that my type are the latter-day Adonis.

To compound the matter is that I am myself a very average-looking woman. I am not trying to be humble, this is a genuine self-appraisal. I am really not much to look at. I'd say I am not ugly either because there had been a few guys who showed interest in me, however they were all pretty average-looking themselves. So needless to say, nothing ever became of it. I am 39 years old and I have never had a boyfriend before. I really think a huge part of this is due to the fact I only have eyes for the super-hot, but these guys, being the hot guys that they are, don't give women like me a second glance.

I am not sure what I am trying to get at here. I guess I am looking for advice. But I am not quite sure what kind of advice I am looking for. Should I "change" myself, and force myself to be attracted to average-looking dudes, or should I be asking people here where I can find the supreme hotties and how to make them fall for well, someone like me?

Any input is greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...

Why don't you seek out activities you like to do, sign up for something interesting and maybe you can find the man of your dreams that you find 'hot' who will accept you for who you are. Play up your strengths and go for it.
 
To answer your question, since all the other people pretty much have it on point, yea, you're shallow. If you're a 5, you're probably going to marry a 5, or none at all. A 10 is going to want a 10, and the only reason he wouldn't is because the 10/10 girlfriend has an attitude just like yours.
 
Wan said:
Hello. I have a question for the fine people here on this board: I am a plain Jane (I'd say I am a 5 out of 10. 6 on a best day), but I only hanker after the really hot guys (imagine the 9's and 10's). Do you think this is normal? Do you think I am shallow?

I just want to make it clear that I don't actually have unrealistically high expectations. As in, I do not carry around a list in my head that goes like, "Ok, my guy must be 6 foot 3, blond-haired and blue-eyed, with washboard abs, an impeccable jawline, and a 7-figure income". No. That is not what I am about at all. However, I absolutely do not feel attraction for average-looking guys. They just don't "do it" for me. Maybe some of them have an amazing personality. Maybe they are funny, maybe they are playful, maybe they have a magnetic presence...etc etc. But I have never been attracted to any of them long enough to get over that initial hump to discover any of those things about them. Do you think this is shallowness on my part? I really hope that it's not. I just think that everybody has her "type", and it just so happens that my type are the latter-day Adonis.

To compound the matter is that I am myself a very average-looking woman. I am not trying to be humble, this is a genuine self-appraisal. I am really not much to look at. I'd say I am not ugly either because there had been a few guys who showed interest in me, however they were all pretty average-looking themselves. So needless to say, nothing ever became of it. I am 39 years old and I have never had a boyfriend before. I really think a huge part of this is due to the fact I only have eyes for the super-hot, but these guys, being the hot guys that they are, don't give women like me a second glance.

I am not sure what I am trying to get at here. I guess I am looking for advice. But I am not quite sure what kind of advice I am looking for. Should I "change" myself, and force myself to be attracted to average-looking dudes, or should I be asking people here where I can find the supreme hotties and how to make them fall for well, someone like me?

Any input is greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...

I believe you are normal, there was this OKCupid study that showed that the average woman rated 80% of men as below average. This is in line with the Pareto principle.
 
Wan said:
No.

Do these things matter?

To answer: I work on a part-time basis. I will be going back to school in September.


Call me prejudiced, but I have always thought people who needed to find love online are losers in some way.
Click to expand...

You're missing out. With dating apps it's all the rage now.
 
Wan said:
Hello. I have a question for the fine people here on this board: I am a plain Jane (I'd say I am a 5 out of 10. 6 on a best day), but I only hanker after the really hot guys (imagine the 9's and 10's). Do you think this is normal? Do you think I am shallow?

I just want to make it clear that I don't actually have unrealistically high expectations. As in, I do not carry around a list in my head that goes like, "Ok, my guy must be 6 foot 3, blond-haired and blue-eyed, with washboard abs, an impeccable jawline, and a 7-figure income". No. That is not what I am about at all. However, I absolutely do not feel attraction for average-looking guys. They just don't "do it" for me. Maybe some of them have an amazing personality. Maybe they are funny, maybe they are playful, maybe they have a magnetic presence...etc etc. But I have never been attracted to any of them long enough to get over that initial hump to discover any of those things about them. Do you think this is shallowness on my part? I really hope that it's not. I just think that everybody has her "type", and it just so happens that my type are the latter-day Adonis.

To compound the matter is that I am myself a very average-looking woman. I am not trying to be humble, this is a genuine self-appraisal. I am really not much to look at. I'd say I am not ugly either because there had been a few guys who showed interest in me, however they were all pretty average-looking themselves. So needless to say, nothing ever became of it. I am 39 years old and I have never had a boyfriend before. I really think a huge part of this is due to the fact I only have eyes for the super-hot, but these guys, being the hot guys that they are, don't give women like me a second glance.

I am not sure what I am trying to get at here. I guess I am looking for advice. But I am not quite sure what kind of advice I am looking for. Should I "change" myself, and force myself to be attracted to average-looking dudes, or should I be asking people here where I can find the supreme hotties and how to make them fall for well, someone like me?

Any input is greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...

i think you may be your own worst enemy. If you beat yourself up, most people will agree with you.

I've seen plenty of so called hot guys, many are not with the so called hot chicks. The biggest turnoff for me is desperation. That comes across in your post, at least for me.

My advice? Start each day telling yourself that you are the best person you'll meet all day. Put yourself where the types you meet are. Don't sound so desperate, and let nature take its course.

But that's me. I'm sure others will have other opinions.
 
Wan said:
Call me prejudiced, but I have always thought people who needed to find love online are losers in some way.
Click to expand...

People who look for love online generally find it much faster than people who don't. Meeting people is the one and only way to find love, and the more people you meet, the quicker you will find it.
 
First of all, let me thank all of you for replying to my thread. And I appreciate your suggestion/s and recommendations.

lwf said:
People who look for love online generally find it much faster than people who don't. Meeting people is the one and only way to find love, and the more people you meet, the quicker you will find it.
Click to expand...
True, however, on dating sites, people are asked to provide their age. I feel that my age really puts me at a disadvantage here (being 39 that I am). I used to be on a few sites and the people who would contact me were around my age. But I only want to date the young, hot ones.
 
Wan said:
No.

Do these things matter?

To answer: I work on a part-time basis. I will be going back to school in September.


Call me prejudiced, but I have always thought people who needed to find love online are losers in some way.
Click to expand...

You have a very long list of disqualifiers. Unless at work, a church or bar, relationships now mostly do originate online. It is just a way to locate potential people - then QUICKLY get off online and talking on the phone and then meeting in person. If you go TOO long online it becomes too much fantasy too distant from reality.

If not online, how do you think you'd meet anyone?
 
Wan said:
Hello. I have a question for the fine people here on this board: I am a plain Jane (I'd say I am a 5 out of 10. 6 on a best day), but I only hanker after the really hot guys (imagine the 9's and 10's). Do you think this is normal? Do you think I am shallow?

I just want to make it clear that I don't actually have unrealistically high expectations. As in, I do not carry around a list in my head that goes like, "Ok, my guy must be 6 foot 3, blond-haired and blue-eyed, with washboard abs, an impeccable jawline, and a 7-figure income". No. That is not what I am about at all. However, I absolutely do not feel attraction for average-looking guys. They just don't "do it" for me. Maybe some of them have an amazing personality. Maybe they are funny, maybe they are playful, maybe they have a magnetic presence...etc etc. But I have never been attracted to any of them long enough to get over that initial hump to discover any of those things about them. Do you think this is shallowness on my part? I really hope that it's not. I just think that everybody has her "type", and it just so happens that my type are the latter-day Adonis.

To compound the matter is that I am myself a very average-looking woman. I am not trying to be humble, this is a genuine self-appraisal. I am really not much to look at. I'd say I am not ugly either because there had been a few guys who showed interest in me, however they were all pretty average-looking themselves. So needless to say, nothing ever became of it. I am 39 years old and I have never had a boyfriend before. I really think a huge part of this is due to the fact I only have eyes for the super-hot, but these guys, being the hot guys that they are, don't give women like me a second glance.

I am not sure what I am trying to get at here. I guess I am looking for advice. But I am not quite sure what kind of advice I am looking for. Should I "change" myself, and force myself to be attracted to average-looking dudes, or should I be asking people here where I can find the supreme hotties and how to make them fall for well, someone like me?

Any input is greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...
So start with the fact that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So your idea of a hot guy may not be the next woman's idea of a hot guy. And from my side of the coin, many women that I find hot, other guys think are average. I myself have been told I am not ugly (which I guess they meant below average) to hot and everything in between. So don't worry about yourself per se, outside of proper grooming. There will be men to find you hot.

Be out there and socialize. Don't hunt, so to speak, but simply keep your eyes open. Being part of various social groups will give you the best chance of finding someone not only hot to your ideal, but that has the interests that will be needed to maintain a long term relationship.

As far as online dating apps/services, my personal advice is don't bother and it's not a loser thing. Sadly, your inbox will be overwhelmed. Even setting aside the spammers and phishers, women get approached an excessive amount and more often than not by men who don't read profiles. "I am only looking for guys 30 or older." "Hey babe, I'm a studly 18 year old"

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
 
joko104 said:
If not online, how do you think you'd meet anyone?
Click to expand...


Social groups. I met my legal wife at a Star Trek club and we met our other spouses at a board game club.

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
 
Wan said:
Any input is greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...



The converse can hold true. A very close friend of my wife's, an A list beauty, top shelf, educated, high income, for years only dated the best looking men with the qualification that they earned more than she. At 41, she fell for a short, pudgy cab driver. Now 20 years later they are still together, and apparently happy with each other. She can't keep her hands off of him. Men still drool when they see her in public. He still drives his cab, and owns two more he rents out. They travel together, they've raised twin daughters now in college, and live in a two bedroom apartment in the Dakota, she bought 30 years ago. The same building where John Lennon lived with Yoko. Exclusivity is a factor for the coop board in the Dakota, and the board tried to have her evicted when she married, a cab driver beneath them. He's since published seven novels, two volumes of poetry, and written scripts for countless movies and TV shows. He's still short and pudgy, and now bald. His motto, "Never give up your day job." They met in his cab.

She once told me his piano playing initially attracted her. He doesn't play piano. :)
 
Wan said:
True, however, on dating sites, people are asked to provide their age. I feel that my age really puts me at a disadvantage here (being 39 that I am). I used to be on a few sites and the people who would contact me were around my age. But I only want to date the young, hot ones.
Click to expand...

Don't think of it as a disadvantage. Filtering out people who aren't interested anyway is an advantage. Men tend to outnumber women on dating sites by a wide margin anyway, so you'll still get plenty of bites. If you're patient and ready to to decline a whole bunch of duds for a while, you will eventually meet interesting and attractive people. Supplement this with social interaction at the gym or local bars, if that's your thing, and you'll find someone who suits you.

And never apologize for having high standards. The plain people in this world who date hot people all have at least three things in common: High standards, patience, and an insatiable hunger to meet new people.
 
Wan said:
Hello. I have a question for the fine people here on this board: I am a plain Jane (I'd say I am a 5 out of 10. 6 on a best day), but I only hanker after the really hot guys (imagine the 9's and 10's). Do you think this is normal? Do you think I am shallow?

I just want to make it clear that I don't actually have unrealistically high expectations. As in, I do not carry around a list in my head that goes like, "Ok, my guy must be 6 foot 3, blond-haired and blue-eyed, with washboard abs, an impeccable jawline, and a 7-figure income". No. That is not what I am about at all. However, I absolutely do not feel attraction for average-looking guys. They just don't "do it" for me. Maybe some of them have an amazing personality. Maybe they are funny, maybe they are playful, maybe they have a magnetic presence...etc etc. But I have never been attracted to any of them long enough to get over that initial hump to discover any of those things about them. Do you think this is shallowness on my part? I really hope that it's not. I just think that everybody has her "type", and it just so happens that my type are the latter-day Adonis.

To compound the matter is that I am myself a very average-looking woman. I am not trying to be humble, this is a genuine self-appraisal. I am really not much to look at. I'd say I am not ugly either because there had been a few guys who showed interest in me, however they were all pretty average-looking themselves. So needless to say, nothing ever became of it. I am 39 years old and I have never had a boyfriend before. I really think a huge part of this is due to the fact I only have eyes for the super-hot, but these guys, being the hot guys that they are, don't give women like me a second glance.

I am not sure what I am trying to get at here. I guess I am looking for advice. But I am not quite sure what kind of advice I am looking for. Should I "change" myself, and force myself to be attracted to average-looking dudes, or should I be asking people here where I can find the supreme hotties and how to make them fall for well, someone like me?

Any input is greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...

Can't give you any advice...just a judgment.

At 39, you are set in your ways. Wanting only the hot guys means you aren't going to get anyone...unless you have a pile of money and are willing to buy the hot guys. Face facts...the young hot guys aren't going to go for a woman who's almost 40.

You're screwed.
 
Am I normal? I'm super hot, like 9.6 maybe 9.7, and I will bang anything. You name it! If anyone can help, call 555-4242. Thanks.
 
Long term, successful, meaningful relationships tend to be based on honesty and respect. Since you've repeatedly, and proudly outed yourself as a racist, a homophobic, and a anti-semite...the odds of you actually having any relationship of real value is very likely slim to none. You made your bed, now you get to lie in it alone, desperate, and with no one to blame but yourself. Of course, you could always lie about these things, but eventually the truth generally comes out. Prepare yourself for a self-induced miserable life with some loser that embraces the same morals and values you, yourself hold near and dear.
 
americanwoman said:
Why don't you seek out activities you like to do, sign up for something interesting and maybe you can find the man of your dreams that you find 'hot' who will accept you for who you are. Play up your strengths and go for it.
Click to expand...

Sound advice.

Trouble is, almost all of the things I enjoy doing are solitary in nature. I like read, write, and post on online forums such as this one. It's hard to "transplant" these hobbies into real life.
 
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