Do any couples find a third partner for a threesome?

Is anyone in a relationship still for the idea of still flirting or communicating with another guy or girl for fun while in a relationship? It is a weird fantasy, but my girlfriend and I are comfortable enough to talk about it sometimes and I am over the idea of being labeled a weirdo for not wanting the stereotypical 2 girls one guy threesome, but instead me and another guy pleasuring my girlfriend.

We sometimes play around with the idea of a threesome and I love the idea of my girlfriend flirting or being flirted with even if it does not actually happen. It is a turn on and we sometimes fantasize about threesomes so I was wondering if anyone else uses tinder for this type of thing?

Done the threesome thing a couple times. My advice is set ground rules in advance. One of the better ones is that if either party is uncomfortable then you cut it off with the third party then and there. The problem is that when fantasy translates to reality, feelings get involved. You want to be crystal clear on what each of you want from it. Is it a dalliance or a possible relationship with the third party?

The sex can be great, but it is great because you are on the same page as your partner and each of you can appreciate what the other is getting out of it. Good luck.

cathenira said:

Is anyone in a relationship still for the idea of still flirting or communicating with another guy or girl for fun while in a relationship? It is a weird fantasy, but my girlfriend and I are comfortable enough to talk about it sometimes and I am over the idea of being labeled a weirdo for not wanting the stereotypical 2 girls one guy threesome, but instead me and another guy pleasuring my girlfriend.

We sometimes play around with the idea of a threesome and I love the idea of my girlfriend flirting or being flirted with even if it does not actually happen. It is a turn on and we sometimes fantasize about threesomes so I was wondering if anyone else uses tinder for this type of thing?

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This really isn't all that uncommon anymore. Just be sure that your third knows whether you are swinging or poly. The former is about sex, the latter is about relationships. You can also use FetLife to see if there are any groups in your area. If nothing else, just being with like minded people is always a good thing.

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Nope. My girlfriend and I aren't into that. We all monogamous up in here, y'all.

opcorn2:

cathenira said:

Is anyone in a relationship still for the idea of still flirting or communicating with another guy or girl for fun while in a relationship? It is a weird fantasy, but my girlfriend and I are comfortable enough to talk about it sometimes and I am over the idea of being labeled a weirdo for not wanting the stereotypical 2 girls one guy threesome, but instead me and another guy pleasuring my girlfriend.

We sometimes play around with the idea of a threesome and I love the idea of my girlfriend flirting or being flirted with even if it does not actually happen. It is a turn on and we sometimes fantasize about threesomes so I was wondering if anyone else uses tinder for this type of thing?

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2 quick questions:

1) How old are you and your girlfriend?

2) How devastated would you be if your relationship self-destructed over something of this nature?

Often one of the couple wants this and the other just goes along with it.

Be careful as she may just be feeling you out acting like she's agreeable to the discussion and really just wants to know what's in your head. Do not be too surprised if when a 3rd person is brought into it that one of the couple prefers the 3rd person leading to a breakup. Even guys who have added a 2nd woman have lost his wife to the other woman.

The OPer is thinking only of his spouse and not of the dynamics, wants and values of the 3rd person. That 3rd person may not have the best of goals.

joko104 said:

Often one of the couple wants this and the other just goes along with it.

Be careful as she may just be feeling you out acting like she's agreeable to the discussion and really just wants to know what's in your head. Do not be too surprised if when a 3rd person is brought into it that one of the couple prefers the 3rd person leading to a breakup. Even guys who have added a 2nd woman have lost his wife to the other woman.

The OPer is thinking only of his spouse and not of the dynamics, wants and values of the 3rd person. That 3rd person may not have the best of goals.

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You bring up some very valid concerns. Indeed a couple needs to be honest with each other, especially in such matters. I would have more trust issues with my spouses if they played along initially and then told me they were against it, than if they said they were against it at the start.

And yes, there has indeed been issues where the third coming in has tried to poach one or the other of the established couple. Another reason for open communication between all three, and especially between the couple before start. I typically recommend having the couple do their negotiation with each other in front of a ....well in this case,.... fourth party who isn't going to be part of the activities. That person can sometimes catch details they missed or might seem to be misunderstanding between each other.

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