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Polyamory

lurchadams said:
No, no. We're not polygamists. I don't want more than one spouse - I'm not even excited about getting married again. I'd like a loving relationship with more than one woman. Some of these women I might have a physical relationship with - some I might not. One of the women at our meeting Sunday had a girlfriend living with her that she started out having a physical relationship with - it didn't work for them, now they live together as non-romantic partners with her other partners at her house.

Polyamory is not the same as polygamy.
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Fair enough, but I was meaning manage in a more traditional sense of the word, not some legally binding contract.
 
CLAX1911 said:
Okay, when you talked about the member passionately kissing you, it sent off a red flag.
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I was touched by the gesture and by the fact that their metemour sitting right next to me at the the time didn't blink an eye.

Zero jealousy - total honesty - constant communication between you and your partners making you as a result, a much better communicator. I find that about the lifestyle, really attractive.
 
CLAX1911 said:
Fair enough, but I was meaning manage in a more traditional sense of the word, not some legally binding contract.
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Ok, I understand. Seattle has a really, really large poly community, I also learned at the meeting. If they were truly a cult, I think the media would have picked that piece of information up by now.
 
lurchadams said:
So I've learned over the past couple of weeks that the term, "poly" means different things to different people.

The first meeting I attended last week seemed more like, just, "open relationship swinging". All the wives where at the meeting without their husbands. The women are free to go out and have affairs as they please but the husbands only get to "play" with others in the presence of their wives.

I had a POF date with a woman Friday who claimed the "poly lifestyle" caused her to have PTSD and she's done with it. But when she described the "poly" she was talking about, it involved her and her ex going to BDSM parties and her beating the crap out of him. The marriage ended when he started leaving their "toys" which included stun guns, around the house for their kids to find. That, to me is not, "poly", it's BDSM swinging.

Finally, yesterday, I attended a different poly group near me. The folks there were wonderful! They and what they call their, "metamours" (their lovers' lovers) were all their together. They call their circles, "polypods" and the folks and their metamous are like a community. They have BBQ's together and celebrate the holidays together. Some of them live in the same house. Some relationships are actually non-sexual - they just provide each other companionship. THIS is what I what I'm looking for - a community/village where we all support and love each other. This is the structure I like. I'm going to explore this further. At the end of the meeting one of the organizers passionately kissed one of his metamours goodbye right in front of his wife/primary and everyone in the room. The only thing I saw around the room were loving looks. I was very touched by this.

Things are looking up!
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Good for you! Personally, I don't jive with the poly lifestyle. I couldn't see myself in that situation, especially since I know I'd get jealous. It's just not my thing.

But I ain't knocking anyone who's into it. As long as it's consenting adults, who am I to judge?
 
TheGoverness said:
Good for you! Personally, I don't jive with the poly lifestyle. I couldn't see myself in that situation, especially since I know I'd get jealous. It's just not my thing.

But I ain't knocking anyone who's into it. As long as it's consenting adults, who am I to judge?
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Thanks, Princess. I've actually been told that sometimes there is jealousy in the community. When that happens, we all are supposed to stop and communicate. If you have a wife or primary partner, we're supposed to immediately close the relationship and talk about what's bothering us.

Why do we feel jealous? What are we doing to cause that? Like I said in an earlier post constant honesty and complete, open communication is key. There is no need to lie - I find it all very comforting and attractive.
 
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ecofarm said:
That's called "no promises, do what you want" and doesn't lead to lifetime commitment.

If it's volume you're after,
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If it's volume you're after, be twenty-four, learn to play rock and roll and join a moderately successful band.
You WILL get all the volume you can possibly handle and then some unless you're a complete and total uncouth clod, and believe me, even some of the clods I knew in that day and age were getting more action than anyone could imagine.
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
If it's volume you're after, be twenty-four, learn to play rock and roll and join a moderately successful band.
You WILL get all the volume you can possibly handle and then some unless you're a complete and total uncouth clod, and believe me, even some of the clods I knew in that day and age were getting more action than anyone could imagine.
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Sidenote: Clarinet in a middle school band does not yield.
 
ecofarm said:
Sidenote: Clarinet in a middle school band does not yield.
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Nope, unless you're reasonably good at doing some of the Supertramp songs that used clarinet.
However, if you can play clarinet, you can play the SAX and SAX equals SEX.
Switch from wood to brass and your wood will be satisfied in short order.
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
Nope, unless you're reasonably good at doing some of the Supertramp songs that used clarinet.
However, if you can play clarinet, you can play the SAX and SAX equals SEX.
Switch from wood to brass and your wood will be satisfied in short order.
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I like wood jazz. Brass is meh. Clarinet gets the vocals of a song in a band performance but when that's Madonna whaddya gonna do. Thank God for highschool and older chicks.

ps. Supertramp pwns.
 
ecofarm said:
That's called "no promises, do what you want" and doesn't lead to lifetime commitment.

If it's volume you're after, every bar and club has one or more cliques of women. Find a clique that's into sex and take good care of what they give you (they're not gonna hand you the queen, you'll get a low grade "due for" to start). After a good report back to the hive, they'll pass you around as long as you keep your mouth shut. One can do this in multiple locations at once, ensuring busy weekends.
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You're mistaken. It is indeed possible to have a lifetime commitment AND enjoy a nice young sex partner every once in awhile. It's much like home cooking versus trying a fine restaurant. In my case it means no sexual activity other than with my wife inside the USA. Also, no intercourse with another woman under any circumstances. My wife even likes to sit and visit with the young ladies we meet while I enjoy their tight young bodies. She says that at least that way they don't feel like a piece of meat. They appreciate my wife's involvement. I have no desire to leave my wife the another woman. I just like to admire a beautiful young lady with a breathtaking smooth, tight body. Colombia is a gourmet's delight of fine 18-21 year olds. My wife enjoys how turned on I am after a date with a young Latina.
 
Okay, I just object to the first group mentioned in the OP being demonized by being contrasted with normal aspects of every community.

I don't like young people, and that goes for anyone under 30. To date, someone must be over 40 (I'm 48). Off lawn.
 
lurchadams said:
This is not a "dating group" I went to Sunday - it was a discussion group - a forum for gathering information only.

I'm in San Antonio for business right now, and I signed up for another poly discussion group tomorrow here in SA. - the topic is - I won't use the clinical term - but it's basically a clinic on how to satisfy a woman orally. I mean - I'm great at it but it won't hurt to gather information from others :)
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Get on a bus and go four hours South of San Antonio to Monterrey. There will be no shortage of women available for you. And as a rich Gringo, you owe it to a chick to pay her electric bill or something similar if she gives you satisfaction. Also, have the decency not to refer to her as a "prostitute".
 
lurchadams said:
This is not a "dating group" I went to Sunday - it was a discussion group - a forum for gathering information only.

I'm in San Antonio for business right now, and I signed up for another poly discussion group tomorrow here in SA. - the topic is - I won't use the clinical term - but it's basically a clinic on how to satisfy a woman orally. I mean - I'm great at it but it won't hurt to gather information from others :)
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If you run out of other options and want to let go of some frustration in San Antonio; visit: 12315 judson rd suite 304, san antonio, tx 78233
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
Nope, unless you're reasonably good at doing some of the Supertramp songs that used clarinet.
However, if you can play clarinet, you can play the SAX and SAX equals SEX.
Switch from wood to brass and your wood will be satisfied in short order.
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Quick question. Brass guys get action? It's cacophonous, that's counter intuitive.
 
SDET said:
If you run out of other options and want to let go of some frustration in San Antonio; visit: 12315 judson rd suite 304, san antonio, tx 78233
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SDET said:
Get on a bus and go four hours South of San Antonio to Monterrey. There will be no shortage of women available for you. And as a rich Gringo, you owe it to a chick to pay her electric bill or something similar if she gives you satisfaction. Also, have the decency not to refer to her as a "prostitute".
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LOL - no thread in this section of the forum would be the same without you :)

My friend, I'm going to stick to women I don't have to pay to spend time with me for now, but thanks :)
 
I'm a relationship anarchist. Poly people and poly culture gross me out.
 
lurchadams said:
LOL - no thread in this section of the forum would be the same without you :)

My friend, I'm going to stick to women I don't have to pay to spend time with me for now, but thanks :)
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One doesn't pay for the time. One pays for the clean exit.
 
Northern Light said:
I'm a relationship anarchist. Poly people and poly culture gross me out.
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To each their own, my friend. No rules, do what you want when you want - no accountability to anyone - to me, that's a very lonely and empty existence.

I like it known that I'm connected to someone.
 
ecofarm said:
I didn't understand them until I heard it that way. I kinda get that angle.
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"you don't pay them to stay, you pay them to leave" - that's the way I've heard it go...
 
ecofarm said:
Quick question. Brass guys get action? It's cacophonous, that's counter intuitive.
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SAX players get action, if they're playing sax in a rock band. Come on, are you really serious that you don't realize that a sax player in a rock band is something girls find intriguing?
 
lurchadams said:
LOL - no thread in this section of the forum would be the same without you :)

My friend, I'm going to stick to women I don't have to pay to spend time with me for now, but thanks :)
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So tell me something, what would you do if you met a single mother in her early 20s with barely detectable stretch marks because she maintains herself with lotions and exercises, she puts out then tells you she is about to have her electricity and water turned off for non-payment? She won't demand, but she lets you know that she needs the help. Would you just tell her "tough luck"?
 
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