Polyamory

cathenira said:

As my understanding, poly relationship is equal to swinging, but not the same as affair relationship. If seek for poly lifestyle, I will not use SUCH traditional dating sites/forums: match, pof, okcupid. These are almost focusing on serious relationship.

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I'm going to a bunch of meetings learning more about the lifestyle. I was in a poly relationship with a woman that just ended but I'm still looking into the lifestyle and am learning there are all different kinds.

- Swinging to me is just recreational sex. Couples show up at house parties, to sex clubs, or to dungeons <-- the BDSM'ers.
they **** one or several other people and then go home. That **** doesn't interest me at all.

- Some folks are in mono-poly relationships where one is monogamous and the other goes out and has other either casual or loving relationships. Now, you would think that most of the "mono" people are the women? No, in my experience, going to several different meetings it's the woman that goes out hunting. Our organizer at this meeting was in such a relationship. I was kind of sad for her, she seems high-strung/unhappy. She lives in a house with her husband and her lover - the lover only she plays with. She told me tonight she's on "Ok Cupid" still looking.. still looking for more men.. because her appetite for new hookups will never be sated.

- The structure I like is the polypod structure, where you have an "anchor" partner and you both participate in loving relationships - where your relationship is open to do that. You get to meet your partners metamours and maybe even hang out - all of you together once in awhile. A community - that's what floats my boat. These days to raise a family it takes a village.

Anyway - that's my impression so far.