The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

We have fallen quite low in society.. where today.. the whole of the Media Imagery is: "Flash some skin, and show a peek at the ass" and temp with the delusions of pleasure. While screaming "respect me as a person".... The public bought into this madness and is consumed in trying to emulate it, all the while too many are seeking to use the game of lure and allure expecting others to be hypnotized by the shape and exposure of skin and a peek at the ass and the array of paint on the face..... and it defeats them more than they expect it to consume and captivate others....

the concept of character and integrity is tossed out the windows... and the basis of relationship if built on who'd the "highest bidder", while they hold reservations for the next highest bidder. with a ready phrase on the lips... of "I'll leave if you don't give me what I expect"..
Then having the audacity to talk about "wanting the sincerity of devotion from another, while they cling fast to the reservation to pursue the next highest bidder.

Evil would love to make us into a society of "B------ & Bastards"... "Chumps & Idolater's" .... and so many in society have committed themselves into the promotion of such. The players being played and the played deluding themselves that they are Players.... such is the cycle ... that "Vanity and Lack of Morality Creates....

After the playing of the game of temp, tease, chase and get caught... then they find out, "they never knew the other person"... yet they still blame everything but themselves and the game they played; which got them playing on themselves and two people walk away sometimes with life altering mind damage and many times with "kids in tow"....

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

Your premise is not an either/or proposition. Allowing one's self to be sexually repressed is difficult and painful. One can enjoy sexual adventures without crapping on others. One way not to "get caught" is not try hiding things except from children. You are correct that children should not be aware of their parents sexual adventures. I tell my wife about my sex tourism, if she wants to come along I show enough consideration not to shove it in her face. If I say "I want a day to myself, here is some money to see whatever sights you want to.", that's sufficient. On one of my future trips, she might even want to get to know one of my dates with the understanding that I'm intimately in the company of my wife and when my wife is around I act platonic around the young lady I am seeing.

Parents owe their children an intact household until they are 18. It's a debt to be paid barring things like violence. Divorcing with minor children in the home should be diligently avoided.

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

Just.... Pondering the Subject:

Yes... adults should be honest with adults.... people would be amazed what agreements of understanding they might reach when honesty is put up front...
They could find out if their ideals can sync, if they are prepared to know that not everyone wants the exact same things; some are in situations where what they've chosen is not what they want, mainly because they barred some subjects from being discussed by pretending to be other than whom they are and inhibited about engaging to discuss what they actually think. It's likely not the easiest things, because society has been groomed to think in a certain general format. If that format was Iron Clad Sure to work, there would not be so many extreme arguments of indifference's that often lead to many broken relationship. Therefore, it might well be beneficial to "talk openly as adults" from the very start. People often come to fine, the same constrictions they put upon others, they also put upon themselves. It might be better for each to know what each other think about the basic things that cause so many problems... which is "Money and Sex" in relationships.

In life, there are men that pursue variety, there are women who pursue variety, even after they have chosen a base mate, they want the options to dance with different partners while the music of youth flows.... without loosing their chosen base mate.

Heck we see it everyday....and it did not start yesterday.... nor will it end tomorrow...

People want to start out like "teenager's chasing infatuation"... when fact is... as Adults Trying to Build A Relationship... it just might work better for both of them is they start out as "Adults, talking about Their real individual Adult Thoughts and Ideals, Their Likes, their wants and what they can and cannot agree upon....
At least they know better how not to expect what is not within the realm to be expected.

Sex is a very intricate reality... it can be like a drug, it can lead the confused, give refuge to the fearful and consume the weak.... and before people know it the addictive properties has made them make claim to what they did not care to make claim of and unto.
and some spend their lives trying to break out of what the addictive habit got them into.

Adults who Act as Adults - can speak as Adults... and let the truths fall where it exist. Then they may not make false commitments, trying to appease the others, or thinking they can change another.

For some when the heat of pursuit settles down into daily living, some claim... Oh' the love is gone... because they based love on the cycles and drama of the "pursuit" and "being pursued".

General education does not teach this, because they have as many people sporting and claiming a degree, who try to make the "fit into a format built on not really talking as Individual Self Responsible Adults".... why? Because people want to be liked by whom they like, and they say what they think is expedient to achieve being liked. Some spend their lives trying to get out of such situations.

Maybe there's a reason why many ancient societies had "multiple wives" and maybe there's a reason why women are in some ways with a proclivity to have inquiring thoughts and pondering of desires about other women, more than they have thoughts and desires about many men, once they have found "a man".

Maybe there's a reason in life, that there is in society "more women" than there are men.

Although this is not for everyone, but it has existed in societies since ancient times. Biological Fact is, a woman can be impregnated by one man at a time, where as a man by biological nature, can impregnate many women within a time frame.. Is, it an assurance that the "father can be known to the woman" and the daddy can be known to the child. ??????

We've seen the scenario in the "Sister Wives" show... where one man is with a variety of women, and recently two of the women, chose to be with each other on a more exclusive arrangements.

The world has many things within it and people have many kinds of relationships....

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

Couples who have talked about their sexual realities in trying to make their marriage work and deal with their sexual thoughts and feelings and their commitment as life mates.

Have Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith Figured Out the Secret to a Lasting Hollywood Marriage?
He said it in 2006.

"Divorce can't be an option. With Jada, I stood up in front of God and said, 'Til death do us part.' So there are two possible outcomes. One, we are going to be together till death, or two, I am dead."
Last December the sitcom star turned dependable leading man and the outspoken actress he's dubbed "my Queen" marked 20 years of marriage, an almost unheard of milestone within the confines of Hollywood. It's an occasion even mere mortals canonize, celebrating each other with an anniversary bash or at least the traditional piece of china. But the parents to Jaden Smith, 19, and Willow, now 17, simply gave each other a high-five.

"It's not that they have a blasé attitude toward their accomplishment, Will, also dad to son Trey Smith, 25, from his first marriage to Sheree Fletcher, recently revealed in an interview on TIDAL's Rap Radar podcast, it's just at this point what they have has surpassed traditional unions. "We don't even say we're married anymore," he explained. "We refer to ourselves as 'life partners,' where you get into that space where you realize you are literally with somebody for the rest of your life. There's no deal breakers. There's nothing she could do—ever—nothing that would break our relationship. She has my support till death, and it feels so good to get to that space."

Click to expand...

Sex addiction, ‘swinging’ and secretary role-play: Inside Will and Jada’s very kinky marriage
THEY’VE been together for 20 long years

Click to expand...

Probably, if people "thought in turns of "Life Mates"... MAYBE... just Maybe, there would not be so many people, whom go into the "crazy mode" once they get married and then claim everything is so hard. Could it be they make it Hard, because they start trying to repress everything, and fit some mold that they don't want to be permanently cast into, because they still want to grow and be the individual as themselves, but they don't want to loose the life mate by doing so. Maybe... its hard, because they did not face the real truths of themselves and each others, with each other before they got married ????

See people are a trip sometimes.. if one say's they like Chocolate Ice Cream, and suddenly one day, they want Strawberry, the other act's shocked, because they want strawberry, and may even argue with them that that, they said they liked Chocolate Ice Cream. Never realizing they never said they no longer liked Chocolate, they simply said, they want Strawberry Ice Cream. :lamo

There was a time when young boy's can wait to get his thing between a girls legs, and another time when he can't wait to get his face between her legs, maybe even at times more than he wants to get his thing in there, but it does not mean he still does not very much want and very much still like to get his thing in there. :lamo

Some days women may want him on top of her with a driving passions, and another day... she wants to lay back with his face buried for much of the day. :lamo

some days, they might just want to "lay and hug each other".... :lamo and both are too tired from working to do any more, or feeling somewhat fragile in life, that they just want to be hugged and held....

They can't know this if they "don't talk as Adult Individuals". Heck, how many couples hide their own masturbating from each other? How many get tripped out if one wants to masturbate... and the other is angry, saying "why you want that" when I'm right here? :lamo

It takes a lot for people to learn to trust each other, enough to be themselves with each other.... but first it takes people knowing themselves, and knowing they too have thoughts they'd like to share into the knowing of the other... so they don't have to hide from the other to be themselves.

But they have to know enough of themselves and the others to be discerning of what is and when is discretion suitable as the order... without trying to cover it with lies. The lie is more deadly to the relationship... than the truth could ever be.

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

Most people know each other is some level of " wanting some freaky in the bedroom", and that depends on the "moods" of the moments.... but they don't have to carry it in the streets... or parade it in general public, or go outside the bedroom and pass judge upon each other based on what they do in the bedroom....

That's just the flow of human nature of what is the individual....

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

SDET said:

Your premise is not an either/or proposition. Allowing one's self to be sexually repressed is difficult and painful. One can enjoy sexual adventures without crapping on others. One way not to "get caught" is not try hiding things except from children. You are correct that children should not be aware of their parents sexual adventures. I tell my wife about my sex tourism, if she wants to come along I show enough consideration not to shove it in her face. If I say "I want a day to myself, here is some money to see whatever sights you want to.", that's sufficient. On one of my future trips, she might even want to get to know one of my dates with the understanding that I'm intimately in the company of my wife and when my wife is around I act platonic around the young lady I am seeing.

Parents owe their children an intact household until they are 18. It's a debt to be paid barring things like violence. Divorcing with minor children in the home should be diligently avoided.

Click to expand...

That's not very conservative... :wink2: but... Its just the nature of life and the individual uniqueness of how people make their understanding within their relationships .... and if it works for them, its no one else business how they make it work... its only their's to enjoy what they make of it.

Some people can't digest we don't live in the Victorian Era where everyone was "lying about sex" arty

The whole history behind "make up" to "high heel shoes" is about creating tempting allure. the Blusher, to give the cheeks that look of an aroused blood flow that shows in the cheeks, and the lipstick to give the engorged look of erotic excitements affect on the ways the lips fill with blood during the erotic state of being aroused, to the eye liner to give the looks of the eyes when in the throes of passions grip.... and the high heels to give the cheek that dramatic lift and fall when walking, to the look of being on tip toes as if moving with a aroused sense of urgency. 'We hear it addressed in ad's everyday, promoting the look of the use of these things as being "Sexy".... because it is meant to be enticing and pretty to look at.... People like looking at it and women like emulating what the ad's promote.... in simple... people like being "desired", but they still want the independent right to choose whom they engage.

When society tells people, to "wait until a certain age to engage sexually"... it is basically telling them, to wait until they are self responsible for the choices they make when it comes to their sexual indulgences, which also means, the time to be adult enough to communicate honestly about what it is they are interactively engaging.

They old days, of the woman being silent and non resistant as a sign to engage sexually, is no longer suitable in society. She has as much responsibility to "speak and say what she wants, what she likes and acknowledge with meet with like verbalization's of agreement when she wants to engage sexually.

Click to expand...

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

Anyone reading this also should know... not everyone wants to have sex with others outside of their marriage. This too should be discussed in honest with each other.

If one happens to do so, after such an agreement, and it comes as knowledge within the relationship... they may fare far better not to lie, and face the element of fact they did so, outside of their agreement.... If they can find means to accept no one is flawless... they might be able to make and mend the relations with improved understandings.. Which may be far better than going into a rage and harming by physical assault upon one or the other, or each other.

Make no mistake, that is not to say it is easy... or even a guarantee that they can mend it... but the work to try mending is better than going on off the deep end of an assaulting rage upon and against one upon the other and each other.

Because if it breaks up the relationship... reality is simple... someone else will eventually be getting some anyway, and there is nothing one can do about it... and stalking and attacking them is not going to solve the matter.

Love is wonderful, and it can hurt when it does not work out... but if people give themselves a chance,they can lean to face their own faults in the matter, and then they can learn to love again.... when they get hung up on trying to blame all on the others, they basically entrap themselves into a cycle of self defeating mindsets... that can make them bitter and unable to even share their love in the future of their lives.

Maybe schools should have classes about "The Broad Spectrum of Realities of the Human Being in Life and Relations"....

God made women to be beautiful to men.... one could put her in a outfit made of a flower sack, and she'd still be desirable.!!!! or wrap a fig leaf around her.... or simply show her naked of all attire... and she'd be desirable.... "The best we can do is say, Thank you lord, for the creation and the beauty in the creation of woman, and like wise is the same desire within women, for men!!!!

Click to expand...

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

here's an interesting link....

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

RealityNow said:

We have fallen quite low in society.. where today.. the whole of the Media Imagery is: "Flash some skin, and show a peek at the ass" and temp with the delusions of pleasure. While screaming "respect me as a person".... The public bought into this madness and is consumed in trying to emulate it, all the while too many are seeking to use the game of lure and allure expecting others to be hypnotized by the shape and exposure of skin and a peek at the ass and the array of paint on the face..... and it defeats them more than they expect it to consume and captivate others....

the concept of character and integrity is tossed out the windows... and the basis of relationship if built on who'd the "highest bidder", while they hold reservations for the next highest bidder. with a ready phrase on the lips... of "I'll leave if you don't give me what I expect"..
Then having the audacity to talk about "wanting the sincerity of devotion from another, while they cling fast to the reservation to pursue the next highest bidder.

Evil would love to make us into a society of "B------ & Bastards"... "Chumps & Idolater's" .... and so many in society have committed themselves into the promotion of such. The players being played and the played deluding themselves that they are Players.... such is the cycle ... that "Vanity and Lack of Morality Creates....

After the playing of the game of temp, tease, chase and get caught... then they find out, "they never knew the other person"... yet they still blame everything but themselves and the game they played; which got them playing on themselves and two people walk away sometimes with life altering mind damage and many times with "kids in tow"....

Click to expand...

OK, I'm going out on a limb here, and it's sorta a wild guess, but....

You've never had sex, have you?

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

Tanngrisnir said:

OK, I'm going out on a limb here, and it's sorta a wild guess, but....

You've never had sex, have you?

Click to expand...

That's very funny..... I did not say I did not like looking or doing anything.... the point is about "being honest in communicating".... anyone who has had sex, knows that there's always a person "who is an individual" behind and within the images of allure and enticements.... it does not diminish the appreciation of woman nor sex, to know that .... sorry, you don't grasp that bit of truth in the broader spectrum....

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

RealityNow said:

That's very funny..... I did not say I did not like looking or doing anything.... the point is about "being honest in communicating".... anyone who has had sex, knows that there's always a person "who is an individual" behind and within the images of allure and enticements.... it does not diminish the appreciation of woman nor sex, to know that .... sorry, you don't grasp that bit of truth in the broader spectrum....

Click to expand...

Oh, just damn. You hate sex.

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

Tanngrisnir said:

Oh, just damn. You hate sex.

Click to expand...

Its a commentary about human sexuality... if you have nothing to present of commentary, why do you make yourself look silly, just to sling out a pun? There are billions of people on the planet, if you are looking for some concrete simplicity, that shows your simplicity. You stoop so low as to discuss the writer and not what's written. Maybe its why you have and present the learning deficiency that makes you utter such nonsense. Out of 150+ people you make yourself a stand out of insidiousness.

At least the others who may not have cared to engage the subject matter, respect themselves to be silent, you demonstrate something of determination to be of idiocy. But if that's what makes you happy... have at it...

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

RealityNow said:

Its a commentary about human sexuality... if you have nothing to present of commentary, why do you make yourself look silly, just to sling out a pun? There are billions of people on the planet, if you are looking for some concrete simplicity, that shows your simplicity. You stoop so low as to discuss the writer and not what's written. Maybe its why you have and present the learning deficiency that makes you utter such nonsense. Out of 150+ people you make yourself a stand out of insidiousness.

At least the others who may not have cared to engage the subject matter, respect themselves to be silent, you demonstrate something of determination to be of idiocy. But if that's what makes you happy... have at it...

Click to expand...

Please go look up the word 'pun'.

And try and trigger less easily.

Re: The Societal Delusions of Self Defeat... "Using sex, and being used by the aim to use sex".

Tanngrisnir said:

Oh, just damn. You hate sex.

Click to expand...

His or her problem. More for the rest of us?