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Well, I finally faced hate. A personal story.

Renae said:
Okay sorry. I was in "man mode" so as not to cause a stir with people I didn;t know. My mistake, should have not tried to play that game. 95% of the time, I'm out as RENAE, I.E. Me, but in a few circumstances I make the choice (at least while I still can) to do otherwise, not for me, but to not cause issues.
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I'd advise you to be out as who you are. If you start out as out of the closet it doesn't surprise anyone. The people who will have issues will have issues.
 
CLAX1911 said:
Say me instead of he.
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I dont think that would get across the chagne from male to female as well. Maybe thats just me
Meh You understand it now so what difference does the wording really make?
 
Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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Live anywhere near Houston? If not, there's other leagues throughout the State of Texas. Check them out. You're sure you're just not a crappy bowler, right?

https://www.mygayhouston.com/listings/bowlmor-houston/22593/
 
Quag said:
I dont think that would get across the chagne from male to female as well. Maybe thats just me
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Sure it would. Take for this instance. I, (dressed as a man) joined the bowling team. And then when I let them know that I was trans they wouldn't let me be part of it.
Meh You understand it now so what difference does the wording really make?
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I think detaching yourself from yourself is a surefire way to create a complex.

Nobody should think that they are a different person because they changed gender.
 
CLAX1911 said:
Sure it would. Take for this instance. I, (dressed as a man) joined the bowling team. And then when I let them know that I was trans they wouldn't let me be part of it.

I think detaching yourself from yourself is a surefire way to create a complex.

Nobody should think that they are a different person because they changed gender.
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:shrug:
I didnt see it that way at all
 
Quag said:
:shrug:
I didnt see it that way at all
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Most people don't. It's likely the primary reason that there is this monstrous mental health problem plaguing the trans identity. When it goes unnoticed it is allowed to Fester.

I was educated in mental health and in that education I learned that it is very important to pay attention to what people say.
 
CLAX1911 said:
Most people don't. It's likely the primary reason that there is this monstrous mental health problem plaguing the trans identity. When it goes unnoticed it is allowed to Fester.

I was educated in mental health and in that education I learned that it is very important to pay attention to what people say.
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Paying attention to what they do is so much more important, especially in this age of the colossal liars.
 
CLAX1911 said:
I'd advise you to be out as who you are. If you start out as out of the closet it doesn't surprise anyone. The people who will have issues will have issues.
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A lesson my world learned the hard way today.
 
Renae said:
A lesson my world learned the hard way today.
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Live and learn. I would imagine most people don't care enough to make that big of a deal about it. And the people who do will know right away. That way you don't have to deal with hurt when people reject you over something like this.
 
CLAX1911 said:
This is not a political issue for me.
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Paying attention to what people do over what they say is not a political issue, for one thing the lying pervades lives to include willful ignorance and self deception.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
Paying attention to what people do over what they say is not a political issue, for one thing the lying pervades lives to include willful ignorance and self deception.
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I don't know how you pay attention to what people do unless you're watching them.
 
Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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So sorry, lady. Hate sucks. You don't. **** those guys.
 
Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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I'm Jewish. When I was a kid we lived in Australia in Melbourne and my folks thought I would get a better education if they sent me to a private, parochial school. I tried to fit in. I even made the church choir. On the first day I was to perform with the choir my 3rd grade (then called "form 3") came up to the front of the church and physically pulled me out of the choir in front of everyone and told me, "you shouldn't be in here". I later found out I was cut because I was Jewish. I have never forgotten that.

I feel for you, Renae. I'm very sorry.
 
Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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what a bunch of dirty rotten assholes. They are also cowards and if they had an issue with you they should have told you to your face and not be cowards as well as assholes.

You go find a team that is not so transphobic and beat their asses every time you play against them. Man that just angers me to no end.
 
justabubba said:
sorry for the painful rejection
but they also revealed to you who they are

find other bowlers who are not so backward
don't allow those assholes to deprive you of enjoying a sport you love
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That's good advice. Just look for friends wherever you go. Just go to where you're not rejected.
 
Peter King said:
what a bunch of dirty rotten assholes. They are also cowards and if they had an issue with you they should have told you to your face and not be cowards as well as assholes.

You go find a team that is not so transphobic and beat their asses every time you play against them. Man that just angers me to no end.
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I am just annoyed, I spent weeks discussing it, told them this was gonna happen, made it clear why... I tried "the soft and respectful" approach, and they pooped on me. GRRR
 
SDET said:
I didn't see anything political in his response. Money talks, bull**** walks.
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This response makes no sense. Of course his response was political that's about what transgenders do. Transgender is not a hive mind. They are people just like you or me. What they do doesn't matter anymore than what anyone else does.
 
Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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If idiots can hurt the rest of us using nothing but their stupidity, we're all in real danger.

That's one way to look at it.

Another way to look at it is this: If idiots censure you because you don't fit in as one more idiot, this is a compliment in a very real sense.

Finally, there's this:

"Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout-
He drew a circle that shut me out.

But love and I had wit to win-
We drew a circle that shut him in."

I'm sorry- I don't know the author of if I got the words exactly right. I've always been a bit different than those around me. Celebrate your differences.

Everyone else is average.
 
Renae said:
So, I have been on a bowling team, since I didn't know the people "he" went, it's not easy and I didnt' like it but he bowled. They were told I was trans, but I let the league get used to me. Finally I said Renae would be bowling. AFTER I LEFT, the team said they were not going to bowl with me on the team.

I got the call after I got home.

I am so, so hurt right now.
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I got a job in the mid 1980s and innocently told my new coworkers that I was going to vote for Jesse Helms in the upcoming election. It turned out my coworkers were devout democrats who did not like Jesse Helms. After Helms won I was fired from my job based upon lies told by my foreman who knew he was lying. I was removed from the job site but sneaked back in and went to my foreman's supervisor to lodge my complaint. He did not believe me but he knew the facts would be clearly charted on a work log involved so he confidently took me to investigate the matter himself. The logbook proved the foreman had lied and the superintendent was irate at the foreman but did not immediately make a decision as to where to go from there.

I ended up having to go to the site counselor and personnel manager to discuss my plans before they would decide how to resolve the issue. I told them I would not sue them for the wrong the foreman did to me and so they ended up not reinstating me to the job. That was OK with me. I simply took another job and lost no work time in the process. Let the wicked rage and do evil. God will always take care of the righteous.
 
Back to the title here: you did not face hate. Just because someone does not agree with your lifestyle or life choices, does not mean they hate you! I do not agree with transgenders.... I happen to believe it is a mental illness. (here come the haters!) Do I hate you? No. Would I treat you civilly? Yes. Would I be uncomfortable around you? Yes. But that does not mean hate.
 
CLAX1911 said:
This response makes no sense. Of course his response was political that's about what transgenders do. Transgender is not a hive mind. They are people just like you or me. What they do doesn't matter anymore than what anyone else does.
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What I'm referring to, it's to one's advantage to pay attention to people's actions and not words. That's the case both inside and outside of politics.
 
Casado said:
Back to the title here: you did not face hate. Just because someone does not agree with your lifestyle or life choices, does not mean they hate you! I do not agree with transgenders.... I happen to believe it is a mental illness. (here come the haters!) Do I hate you? No. Would I treat you civilly? Yes. Would I be uncomfortable around you? Yes. But that does not mean hate.
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Actually, you're wrong. They had ample opportunity to discuss the matter, with me. Respectfully, as you would with anyone else. They did not avail themselves of that. They chose, after I had departed to go to the LEAGUE and informed them because I am Trans and going to be bowling as the real me, they did not want that on their team.

It was rude, disrespectful and it was yes hate.

Which is fine, their loss. I joined 6 weeks late into the season start, they were DEAD LAST PLACE. Moved up 4 spots since I joined. **** them.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
I have no interest in dealing with somebody who comes into my life as a boy one day and a girl another day.

Make up your mind, that is not too much to expect.
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That's a great point hawkeye. I tried a different approach. One I hoped would have a positive result. I was wrong, people like you are still too numerous out there and it makes life difficult.
 
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