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Promiscuity & The MeToo Movement

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GreatNews2night said:
I've flirted with countless women and got a good percentage of them to want to have consensual sex with me. I've never been accused of sexual assault. I find it extremely easy to avoid any of these accusations. It's just a matter of reading her interest, and only taking it to the next level when that interest is manifest and surely present. An interested woman gives away unequivocal signs. I don't understand the people who seem to have enormous difficulty reading those signs.

For example, I wouldn't start touching a woman on her knee under the table just to test her. I'd know about her interest much before I'd risk touching her.

If someone is an over-assertive jerk who makes his moves before the woman signals that he is welcome, yeah, I guess that guy will end up being slapped at best, or even accused of sexual assault (with good reason). Never happened to me.
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You seem to be a skillful player.
 
TDGonDP said:
That would constitute "sexual assault" by some.
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seems more moral and less of an assault then trying things 1st and seeing how its taken
 
blarg said:
seems more moral and less of an assault then trying things 1st and seeing how its taken
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OK. Let's assume you have the right sense of morality. Those who disagree with you are fools. You can continue with your promiscuous ways.

Hit the sack with a lady on a one-night stand, and a week later you are arrested for rape. How will your morals help you through this hassle, which will take a few months to resolve?

The MeToo movements opens up this possibility--and no longer will the claim of the other side will be easily dismissed.
 
TDGonDP said:
From the sociological reports I’ve encountered over the years, it seems that about 10% of citizens in western societies are sexually promiscuous. They have sex with more than one partner within a time period of around one year. This means, and contrary to popular culture, 90% of us are monogamous or celibate.

The MeToo movement brings a challenge the promiscuous. In order for a casual sexual tryst to happen, both parties need to play the part of a fisherman: appropriate fishing location, appropriate lure, appropriate hook, and skillful play of the fishing line are all needed to land in the objective: get laid! If the fisherman’s game is not played properly, the tryst falls apart. But as this game is being played, one or both parties have to transcend the boundaries of what many people would consider unwanted sexual advances. So this fishing-for-sex game puts the players in a dangerous position as they are figuring out how negotiate with someone for a sexual encounter. The promiscuous can now face consequences: after a certain threshold has been crossed, the prospect can turn a fishing trip into a police charge.

Another angle to this social promiscuity is that some players are fairly direct in their approach. They are either misreading the signals that allow them to take their potential conquest to the next level of negotiation or are just playing a numbers game, knowing that their direct advances sometimes work. For example, a hand on the knee under the table will quickly establish if a potential partner is ready for more action. If the hand is removed, the offending partner knows the game is off—and can move to another prospect. But today, that hand can land the player in a lot of trouble.

While the sociological reports I encountered seem to indicate that poverty and youth enhances promiscuity, all demographic groups have members who are promiscuous. It’s safe to say that that 10% of avid supporters of the MeToo movement are also promiscuous—and are playing a game that is somewhat counter to their message.

So how do promiscuous players play their game in the age of MeToo?
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The only acceptable liberal approach is tapping your shoe under a restroom divider.
 
TDGonDP said:
OK. Let's assume you have the right sense of morality. Those who disagree with you are fools. You can continue with your promiscuous ways.

Hit the sack with a lady on a one-night stand, and a week later you are arrested for rape. How will your morals help you through this hassle, which will take a few months to resolve?

The MeToo movements opens up this possibility--and no longer will the claim of the other side will be easily dismissed.
Click to expand...

has anyone been arrested for rape without any evidence of a rape?
 
blarg said:
has anyone been arrested for rape without any evidence of a rape?
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There will be more of this happening with MeToo. If a man assumes a promiscuous lifestyle, he puts himself at a greater chance of being hassled by the police/legal system. And just because one is later proven innocent of rape, this not take away the hassle.
 
TDGonDP said:
There will be more of this happening with MeToo. If a man assumes a promiscuous lifestyle, he puts himself at a greater chance of being hassled by the police/legal system. And just because one is later proven innocent of rape, this not take away the hassle.
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i suppose being around women would increase the chances of being accused of sexul crimes but mostly i thinck people committing those crimes is what has lead to metoo

and while false acusationa are a problem sexul harasment and rape are a much more widespread and serious problem
 
blarg said:
i suppose being around women would increase the chances of being accused of sexul crimes but mostly i thinck people committing those crimes is what has lead to metoo

and while false acusationa are a problem sexul harasment and rape are a much more widespread and serious problem
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The false accusations are indeed a problem. Careers can be derailed. This is why I don't consider MeToo a viable solution. And I have to admit that I don't have a solution either for the promiscuous for they are now in a riskier lifestyle than they were before.

Even those of us not in the promiscuous world have an increased risk. I often wonder if looking at a breast could be considered sexual harassment.
 
Seems to me, the MeToo movement, is more about putting a stop to the rich and powerful taking sexual advantage of women, than it is saying you believe the woman in a he said, she said scenario. Use to be if a woman claimed rape, the woman needed to be beat up and not have done anything to provoke the sexual attack. I hope we've moved past this.

Professional athletes have gotten away with the rape of college co-eds on campuses for years and many knew this and did nothing. Most of the cases you're hearing about today, Bill Cosby, Harvey W. etc. were known to be using sex and nothing was done about it, they had a free pass to sexual assault. Women want this to stop.

The majority of men know if they're taking advantage of a woman. If you aren't doing that, the chances of you getting accused and convicted of sexual assault, when you're innocent, is slim.

This latest fiasco from Dr Ford and Brett Kavanaugh was theater and Political, it's a shame because it gives a black eye to the Metoo movement. I still don't know if Kavanaugh was drunk and as a teen put the moves on Dr. Ford but her description of the event should not cause life long trauma like she described. We can not believe a woman or man when they say they were sexually assaulted and have no proof but law enforcement needs to make a record of every claim and people need to always report a sexual assault to help with stopping this horror many women and some men experience during their life time.

There's a lot to this and impossible to cover everything in one post.
 
ThoughtIsFree said:
Seems to me, the MeToo movement, is more about putting a stop to the rich and powerful taking sexual advantage of women, than it is saying you believe the woman in a he said, she said scenario. Use to be if a woman claimed rape, the woman needed to be beat up and not have done anything to provoke the sexual attack. I hope we've moved past this.

Professional athletes have gotten away with the rape of college co-eds on campuses for years and many knew this and did nothing. Most of the cases you're hearing about today, Bill Cosby, Harvey W. etc. were known to be using sex and nothing was done about it, they had a free pass to sexual assault. Women want this to stop.

The majority of men know if they're taking advantage of a woman. If you aren't doing that, the chances of you getting accused and convicted of sexual assault, when you're innocent, is slim.

This latest fiasco from Dr Ford and Brett Kavanaugh was theater and Political, it's a shame because it gives a black eye to the Metoo movement. I still don't know if Kavanaugh was drunk and as a teen put the moves on Dr. Ford but her description of the event should not cause life long trauma like she described. We can not believe a woman or man when they say they were sexually assaulted and have no proof but law enforcement needs to make a record of every claim and people need to always report a sexual assault to help with stopping this horror many women and some men experience during their life time.

There's a lot to this and impossible to cover everything in one post.
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Actually, I think you have said a lot in very few words. The key is to report. Even if an arrest or conviction does not result, a criminal paper trail is being developed. Such perpetrators do not stop with one woman. With a paper trail, authorities have more incentive to investigate and prosecute certain individuals. And many of these individuals, if they know they are being watched, will alter their behavior.

It's a fact of life that women get "hit on" in a lot in their social interactions with men. In at least 99% of these instances, the men take a "no" answer seriously and back off. Should such men be prosecuted for unwanted sexual advances? Especially when other women welcome these advances?

And you mentioned males being targeted by females. I have been such a "victim". Somewhere between morals and not wanting a venereal disease, I rejected these advances. No life long traumas from my end.
 
blarg said:
i suppose being around women would increase the chances of being accused of sexul crimes but mostly i thinck people committing those crimes is what has lead to metoo

and while false acusationa are a problem sexul harasment and rape are a much more widespread and serious problem
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The answer to this problem is to accuse the female of sexual harassment after the initial conversation/contact, strike first, being truthful means nothing, join the #himtoo movement.

Sexual harassment is becoming more widespread because the definition changes daily, women want equality but when they don't get the raise, get upset with some male or don't get the part out come the allegations and they become victims. The most laughable is Hollywood where a young starlet will do anything for a role or chance to become a star and when it doesn't pan out she is now a victim and wants compensation.
 
TDGonDP said:
From the sociological reports I’ve encountered over the years, it seems that about 10% of citizens in western societies are sexually promiscuous. They have sex with more than one partner within a time period of around one year. This means, and contrary to popular culture, 90% of us are monogamous or celibate.

The MeToo movement brings a challenge the promiscuous. In order for a casual sexual tryst to happen, both parties need to play the part of a fisherman: appropriate fishing location, appropriate lure, appropriate hook, and skillful play of the fishing line are all needed to land in the objective: get laid! If the fisherman’s game is not played properly, the tryst falls apart. But as this game is being played, one or both parties have to transcend the boundaries of what many people would consider unwanted sexual advances. So this fishing-for-sex game puts the players in a dangerous position as they are figuring out how negotiate with someone for a sexual encounter. The promiscuous can now face consequences: after a certain threshold has been crossed, the prospect can turn a fishing trip into a police charge.

Another angle to this social promiscuity is that some players are fairly direct in their approach. They are either misreading the signals that allow them to take their potential conquest to the next level of negotiation or are just playing a numbers game, knowing that their direct advances sometimes work. For example, a hand on the knee under the table will quickly establish if a potential partner is ready for more action. If the hand is removed, the offending partner knows the game is off—and can move to another prospect. But today, that hand can land the player in a lot of trouble.

While the sociological reports I encountered seem to indicate that poverty and youth enhances promiscuity, all demographic groups have members who are promiscuous. It’s safe to say that that 10% of avid supporters of the MeToo movement are also promiscuous—and are playing a game that is somewhat counter to their message.

So how do promiscuous players play their game in the age of MeToo?
Click to expand...

If you are single and you only have one partner a year I feel for you. In the 70s we were shooting for one partner every night.
 
Vadinho said:
If you are single and you only have one partner a year I feel for you. In the 70s we were shooting for one partner every night.
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Don't feel sorry. I had a friend who got a veneral disease. They had to send a Q-tip device up his penis to get a sample to determine the right strain to effect the right treatment. And let's not forget about the few days where it was extremely painful to pee.

Lots of casual sex has its price. It is not all fun and games.
 
TDGonDP said:
Don't feel sorry. I had a friend who got a veneral disease. They had to send a Q-tip device up his penis to get a sample to determine the right strain to effect the right treatment. And let's not forget about the few days where it was extremely painful to pee.

Lots of casual sex has its price. It is not all fun and games.
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It was for us. Penicillin cures the drippy dick. Look, if the average today really is one per year, which I doubt, then I am glad I grew up in the 70s. We had a ball. Hell, every disco in America was a meat market.
 
Vadinho said:
It was for us. Penicillin cures the drippy dick. Look, if the average today really is one per year, which I doubt, then I am glad I grew up in the 70s. We had a ball. Hell, every disco in America was a meat market.
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It would be interesting to know if treated STDs cause other health problems later in life. I don't think there is a free ride, even with penicillin.

But today, there are various strain of syphillis and gonorrhea that require proper identification to get proper treatment. There no longer is any one wonder drug to fix the problem.


There was a sexual liberation after the Pill in the 1960s, and disco was probably the first significant "beneficiaries" of that liberation. But from what I had read, a majority of westerners, including youthful westerners, never jumped on that bandwagon. But I think it is safe to assume a significant minority of youth did. Since that liberation, the percentage of youth adopting a promiscuous lifestyle has not increased that much--despite what popular culture is portraying. If youth are having sex, most are keeping it within a monogamous relationship.

And yes, some do experiment with promiscuity for a short time. Then they adopt a monogamous lifestyle later on. But there is nothing I have read that promiscuity has even been practiced by a majority, thereby making it a "normal" choice. The 10% are able to sensationalize their choice.
 
TDGonDP said:
It would be interesting to know if treated STDs cause other health problems later in life. I don't think there is a free ride, even with penicillin.

But today, there are various strain of syphillis and gonorrhea that require proper identification to get proper treatment. There no longer is any one wonder drug to fix the problem.


There was a sexual liberation after the Pill in the 1960s, and disco was probably the first significant "beneficiaries" of that liberation. But from what I had read, a majority of westerners, including youthful westerners, never jumped on that bandwagon. But I think it is safe to assume a significant minority of youth did. Since that liberation, the percentage of youth adopting a promiscuous lifestyle has not increased that much--despite what popular culture is portraying. If youth are having sex, most are keeping it within a monogamous relationship.

And yes, some do experiment with promiscuity for a short time. Then they adopt a monogamous lifestyle later on. But there is nothing I have read that promiscuity has even been practiced by a majority, thereby making it a "normal" choice. The 10% are able to sensationalize their choice.
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I think people are embarrassed to tell the truth so I don't put much stock in sexual surveys about how many partners one has....guys likely exaggerate, girls likely diminish...young people are still biological creatures, they like sex. A lot of sex.
 
Vadinho said:
I think people are embarrassed to tell the truth so I don't put much stock in sexual surveys about how many partners one has....guys likely exaggerate, girls likely diminish...young people are still biological creatures, they like sex. A lot of sex.
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The surveys I had encountered pointed out the the truth can be somewhat elusive in conducting these sex surveys. Various techniques were employed to illicit more honest answers. But a pattern does emerge when different researchers try different ways to answer the sexual activity question: about 10% of us are promiscuous, the rest are not.

Poverty and youth are higher instances of promiscuity. But I would surmise that even in your disco days, your sub-culture of youth was still a minority of the total youth culture in America. Let's say 20% were having a casual sex: still a lot, but not enough to vault promiscuity as mainstream. If you are hanging around people who are having casual sex, it may seem like everyone is doing it. But a lot of youth were not hanging around the discos: you weren't hanging around with those kids.

Perhaps another analogy would be to look at the roster of NFL teams and come to the conclusion that 70% of America is African-American.
 
TDGonDP said:
The surveys I had encountered pointed out the the truth can be somewhat elusive in conducting these sex surveys. Various techniques were employed to illicit more honest answers. But a pattern does emerge when different researchers try different ways to answer the sexual activity question: about 10% of us are promiscuous, the rest are not.

Poverty and youth are higher instances of promiscuity. But I would surmise that even in your disco days, your sub-culture of youth was still a minority of the total youth culture in America. Let's say 20% were having a casual sex: still a lot, but not enough to vault promiscuity as mainstream. If you are hanging around people who are having casual sex, it may seem like everyone is doing it. But a lot of youth were not hanging around the discos: you weren't hanging around with those kids.

Perhaps another analogy would be to look at the roster of NFL teams and come to the conclusion that 70% of America is African-American.
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Perhaps but I do remember just about everyone having a pretty good time. You never know though, my group was filled with hound dogs so maybe we were outliers.
 
TDGonDP said:
I would take me a couple of hours to find the links, reread the articles, and post them. If you already believe that most Canadians, Americans, British, AUssies, and New Zealanders are hopping from bed to bed to bed, I doubt these studies will convince you otherwise. If you are truly interested in this topic, I'm sure you can find the studies.
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So that's a 'it's mostly BS that I believe and then used any sources that supported what I want."...correct?

The metoo# movement has little to do with promiscuity. People are generally consensually promiscuous together.

metoo# is more about when men use physical, employment, or other power over women to gain sexual access to the woman or when slobs or immature (but technically adult) men take advantage of their proximity to women and take liberties without consent.
 
TDGonDP said:
Don't feel sorry. I had a friend who got a veneral disease. They had to send a Q-tip device up his penis to get a sample to determine the right strain to effect the right treatment. And let's not forget about the few days where it was extremely painful to pee.

Lots of casual sex has its price. It is not all fun and games.
Click to expand...

Casual does not equal irresponsible.

Nor does promiscuous.

Just from what I've read so far, you seem to be looking for reasons why not being able to satisfy your desires with women (or men) is good in order to feel better about yourself. Quality is still better than quantity IMO...be a nice person, put yourself out there, deal with rejection...happens to everybody...and get out of your own way. If you sound like a loser, that's how people will see you.
 
Lursa said:
Casual does not equal irresponsible.

Nor does promiscuous.

Just from what I've read so far, you seem to be looking for reasons why not being able to satisfy your desires with women (or men) is good in order to feel better about yourself. Quality is still better than quantity IMO...be a nice person, put yourself out there, deal with rejection...happens to everybody...and get out of your own way. If you sound like a loser, that's how people will see you.
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90% of us are not leading a promiscuous lifestyle. Promiscuity is not mainstream.

Getting laid by 10,000 women has never been my life goal. In my visits to cemeteries or reading obituaries, I don't see this conquest as the purpose to life. One woman is enough for me.

Irresponsible? Condoms reduce the risk a lot, but don't always work. Pregnancies and STIs are still possible. And it seems condoms are useless against genital herpes. So if one wants to have a promiscuous lifestyle, one should expect to get herpes. Now medical research is finding a connection between herpes and a higher rate of cancers a few decades later.
 
TDGonDP said:
90% of us are not leading a promiscuous lifestyle. Promiscuity is not mainstream.

Getting laid by 10,000 women has never been my life goal. In my visits to cemeteries or reading obituaries, I don't see this conquest as the purpose to life. One woman is enough for me.

Irresponsible? Condoms reduce the risk a lot, but don't always work. Pregnancies and STIs are still possible. And it seems condoms are useless against genital herpes. So if one wants to have a promiscuous lifestyle, one should expect to get herpes. Now medical research is finding a connection between herpes and a higher rate of cancers a few decades later.
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The point is, so far I didnt see anyone judging promiscuity today as bad except, perhaps, you. IMO it's a personal decision and just fine as long at it is consensual and people are honest about their expectations AND the consequences. But I didnt say it was mainstream...otoh it may just get more attention.

And between drugs today and condoms, disease is not really too much of an issue. And just like anything in life, there are consequences for lots of things. But I believe in personal liberty.
 
Lursa said:
The point is, so far I didnt see anyone judging promiscuity today as bad except, perhaps, you. IMO it's a personal decision and just fine as long at it is consensual and people are honest about their expectations AND the consequences. But I didnt say it was mainstream...otoh it may just get more attention.

And between drugs today and condoms, disease is not really too much of an issue. And just like anything in life, there are consequences for lots of things. But I believe in personal liberty.
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Just to change directions a little bit, how does this version of personal liberty help create a better world?
 
TDGonDP said:
Just to change directions a little bit, how does this version of personal liberty help create a better world?
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How exactly are you associating those 2 things? Who says it should?
 
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