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Arranged marriages: Love is later, longer

RobertU

RobertU

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A study in Jaipur, India a few decades ago found that people in love marriages were more in love for the first five years, while those in arranged marriages were more in love for the next 30 years. People in arranged marriages do not expect to love their spouse at first; love is seen as something that develops (when it does) over time and through shared experiences.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/looking-in-the-cultural-mirror/201004/arranged-marriages

Given the high divorce rates in the West, are arranged marriages such a bad thing?
 
RobertU said:
A study in Jaipur, India a few decades ago found that people in love marriages were more in love for the first five years, while those in arranged marriages were more in love for the next 30 years. People in arranged marriages do not expect to love their spouse at first; love is seen as something that develops (when it does) over time and through shared experiences.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/looking-in-the-cultural-mirror/201004/arranged-marriages

Given the high divorce rates in the West, are arranged marriages such a bad thing?
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Arranged marriages can be very nice, but man we are so intolerant now days...

I have a great regard for people like Nicole Kidman who are willing to take a chance, are willing to believe in their instincts as if they are a Trump", Nicole who said "I marry them first, and then I get to know them, it is a lot more fun that way (paraphrase).
 
This blew my mind and is relevant here:

If you think that you could possible leave, will then you are not really married (correct quote I think).
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Jordan Peterson

I am still chewing on this, but I am pretty sure that he is on to something important. I am just old enough to have known well people who did not believe in divorce no matter what the law says...who generally thought that the law making divorce so easy was whack.....they were different.
 
I don’t really have a problem with arranged marriages as long as both parties TRULY consent to the arrangement. It certainly isn’t the path I would want to take, though.
 
Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome to me.
 
RobertU said:
A study in Jaipur, India a few decades ago found that people in love marriages were more in love for the first five years, while those in arranged marriages were more in love for the next 30 years. People in arranged marriages do not expect to love their spouse at first; love is seen as something that develops (when it does) over time and through shared experiences.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/looking-in-the-cultural-mirror/201004/arranged-marriages

Given the high divorce rates in the West, are arranged marriages such a bad thing?
Click to expand...

As long as the husband gets to decide who to hire as a housekeeper, I think it could work just fine.
 
SDET said:
As long as the husband gets to decide who to hire as a housekeeper, I think it could work just fine.
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As long as the woman gets to decide who to hire as the pool boy, the landscaper, the driver, I think it could work just fine.
 
IMO, it's all about expectations. The way it's set up is very different and as long as it's consensual for both, it has the potential for a longer, more stable environment in which to raise kids.
 
Lursa said:
As long as the woman gets to decide who to hire as the pool boy, the landscaper, the driver, I think it could work just fine.
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With whose money?
 
The point with ARRANGED marriages, is that the female usually does not have any say and is forced by her parents to marry. All these comments on "if they both agree" is usually nonsense. Sometimes they may both agree, but most of the time they have never met, the girl marries who their parents want them to.
 
Lursa said:
As long as the woman gets to decide who to hire as the pool boy, the landscaper, the driver, I think it could work just fine.
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:lol: :thumbs:
 
LadyMoonlight said:
The point with ARRANGED marriages, is that the female usually does not have any say and is forced by her parents to marry. All these comments on "if they both agree" is usually nonsense. Sometimes they may both agree, but most of the time they have never met, the girl marries who their parents want them to.
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Women can be raised to a agreeable. To some women it never even occurs to them to question their parents nor husband. Even if someone suggested that they did, it wouldn't mentally register. I have seen this first hand. Wise men search the world over to find one.
 
SDET said:
Women can be raised to a agreeable. To some women it never even occurs to them to question their parents nor husband. Even if someone suggested that they did, it wouldn't mentally register. I have seen this first hand. Wise men search the world over to find one.
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What? An emotionally abused woman?
 
SDET said:
With whose money?
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Are you claiming that women's own work outside the home is not sufficient?

OR

Are you claiming that a woman's work in the home and caring for the children is not enabling the man to go to work and earning a share of that?

OR

In many cases BOTH...working and doing most of the housework and childcare?
 
SDET said:
Women can be raised to a agreeable. To some women it never even occurs to them to question their parents nor husband. Even if someone suggested that they did, it wouldn't mentally register. I have seen this first hand. Wise men search the world over to find one.
Click to expand...

Lots of people keep pets for the same reason...you just want one to serve 'all' your needs.

How fragile does a man's self-esteem need to be to be satisfied with that? Too many challenges at work and the outside world...needing complete submissiveness at home where the females arent supposed to be fully actualized individuals?

Meh, hard to say but at least the type is represented so we know it exists.
 
Lursa said:
Are you claiming that women's own work outside the home is not sufficient?

OR

Are you claiming that a woman's work in the home and caring for the children is not enabling the man to go to work and earning a share of that?

OR

In many cases BOTH...working and doing most of the housework and childcare?
Click to expand...

Please. Don't feed it. :(
 
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