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Family and hate of LGBT

maxparrish said:
Not to make it about me, but it did some of that to me when my wife died. I've never experienced such emotional pain, or for so long, as when my wife died. It took a year and half to start functioning again and years more of dealing with grief and regret. Even as I write, I miss her terribly - and she died 15 years ago.

The only attachment more powerful than pair bonding is that of parent to child. And it is likely the only grief that is more intense.
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I have only the most pity and empathy for you, losing my wife would destroy me.

I remember about 3 months after we got to Clark, maybe 9 months after mom had passed... Dad was off that weekend, and he stopped by the package store on base and got some Tequila. HE put on headphones, and was on the couch and floor, signing moody blues and crying out for mom. It scare the hell out me, and my sister who is 3 years younger came to my room scared. She didn't know what was going on. It was the saddest thing I had ever heard. Mind you, he can't sing sober, so you can imagine how bad that was.
 
Family can be great or it can be awful I'm sorry you have mostly experienced the latter
 
Renae said:
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
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My mother's side is Orthodox Russian..dad's side..Irish Catholic. When certain family members found out I'm bisexual, I was disowned. Some of them expressed sympathy but still wouldn't talk to me because the important members of the family made that decision for them. Luckily I didn't suffer abuse by family members, but instead a friend of the family--who certain members of my "family" that disowned me still talk to because they're 'Christians' and he supposedly repented. But because I'm apparently still living in sin, no one will talk to me. Ironically, I am now engaged to a retired military officer. However, I do not go to church, and I have made no effort to contact any of them. They continue to ignore me. People suck. It's especially difficult when it's family because of being so vulnerable to people who are suppose to care.

I hope you have good friends for support. :)

vegas giants said:
I believe its never too late to find your real family
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The saying "blood is thicker than water" is total bull ****. It's clearly not based on how badly people treat their family.
 
Oceanborn said:
My mother's side is Orthodox Russian..dad's side..Irish Catholic. When certain family members found out I'm bisexual, I was disowned. Some of them expressed sympathy but still wouldn't talk to me because the important members of the family made that decision for them. Luckily I didn't suffer abuse by family members, but instead a friend of the family--who certain members of my "family" that disowned me still talk to because they're 'Christians' and he supposedly repented. But because I'm apparently still living in sin, no one will talk to me. Ironically, I am now engaged to a retired military officer. However, I do not go to church, and I have made no effort to contact any of them. They continue to ignore me. People suck. It's especially difficult when it's family because of being so vulnerable to people who are suppose to care.

I hope you have good friends for support. :)



The saying "blood is thicker than water" is total bull ****. It's clearly not based on how badly people treat their family.
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I "get" that they are allowed to disapprove, but turning your back on family who are just trying to be happy is just... stupid.
 
Renae said:
I "get" that they are allowed to disapprove, but turning your back on family who are just trying to be happy is just... stupid.
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i supposed they feel too uncomfortable, so it's easier for them to ignore what they see as a problem. I'm happy with my life and especially with my fiance. We're in the process of deciding on a wedding date. It will be a small ceremony.
 
Oceanborn said:
i supposed they feel too uncomfortable, so it's easier for them to ignore what they see as a problem. I'm happy with my life and especially with my fiance. We're in the process of deciding on a wedding date. It will be a small ceremony.
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My born again aunt refuses to acknowledge Renae, because that would seal my going to hell, or something.
 
Renae said:
My born again aunt refuses to acknowledge Renae, because that would seal my going to hell, or something.
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Denial is an important ingredient for fundamentalist. ironically, there is not a single verse in the bible about trans people going to hell.
 
MrWonka said:
You don't seem to have any grasp of what that word even means. You just see your party being called it so you parrot it back.


It's perfectly reasonable to assume that at least 10% of a race are idiots or **** heads. That wouldn't be racist. When you start assuming 90% of a race are morons that's where it turns in to obvious racism.


Right? So what does it say about the Republican party that 90% of "individuals" with black skin refuse to vote for them regardless of what other ideas they might share? Why is it so hard to believe that 90% of Black people vote Democrat because Republicans really are that ****ing bad for them?

African Americans and Latinos are generally both very Christian, and not super supportive of gay marriage or the transgendered community. I'm willing to bet their not big fans of abortion either. All these wealth African American professional athletes that are protesting Trump and police brutality should be benefitting massively from Trump's tax cuts. Yet none of those things are enough to sway the African American vote to anything even close to 50/50. Why? Are they all morons who can't see what's good for them, or do they just recognize the reality of how horribly Racist the Republican party is.

The KKK, neo-Nazis, and White Supremacists are in love with Donald Trump and the modern Republican Party meanwhile African Americans absolutely hate it. Why is it so hard for you to accept the possibility that both of those groups are in fact voting for the correct candidates who's policies most accurately reflect their own world views?
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Looks like you never learned to be classy, just combative no matter the situation.
 
American said:
Looks like you never learned to be classy, just combative no matter the situation.
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Looking in the Mirror this AM, as you support Banana Republicans in every way???
 
Linc said:
Looking in the Mirror this AM, as you support Banana Republicans in every way???
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Banana Republicans over the New Antifa Democratic Party.
 
American said:
Banana Republicans over the New Antifa Democratic Party.
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Your #45 is the Ultimate Disgrace to this Nation, as All the Generals and Admirals are now saying.

Your ILK will NEVER stand for Veterans and those who paid the Ultimate Price for your Ungrateful GOPutins.

Last I saw, Antifa hasn’t Murdered and MAIMED Any Americans as your KKK and Nazis of the White Nationalist GOP have.
 
Linc said:
Your #45 is the Ultimate Disgrace to this Nation, as All the Generals and Admirals are now saying.

Your ILK will NEVER stand for Veterans and those who paid the Ultimate Price for your Ungrateful GOPutins.

Last I saw, Antifa hasn’t Murdered and MAIMED Any Americans as your KKK and Nazis of the White Nationalist GOP have.
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Look what Antifa stands for, i.e., NO United States.
 
Renae said:
I've explained to you Wonka, and a lot of other people, that while there are some elements of the GOP I disagree with, 95% of the GOP Platform on economics and the way Government should be appeals to me, conversely 95% of what the Democrat party stands for abhors me.

5% is not enough to flip my allegiance. I more than just a Transwoman.
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Do you still believe that trans people should not serve?
 
Renae said:
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
Click to expand...

My family did a hell of a lot less than that and I walked away from them. Just being petty, gossip-py, cranky, envious and demanding was enough for me to walk away. Freedom of association isn't limited by genetics. Trying to cheat a few thousand dollars out of my mom's estate was enough for me to shut it down.

I still wonder if there's more male-to-female transgenderism than the reverse because of society pushing this "toxic masculinity" notion. I could see some guys thinking if they stop being male, they stop being toxic.

Has anyone congratulated you for making the socially responsible decision to shed your "toxicity" while lamenting that all men don't do the same?
 
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Renae said:
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
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You know, Renae, it took about two minutes for me to figure out who called you. The phase 'old-man' in my day meant companion (boy-friend husband). I also know 'old-man' in my father's day meant father.
The iterations of who was calling you (and the sex of that person, strangely,) gave me a head ache.

The rest of your post about bad sheep in the family made me real sad.
It made me think about my deceased brother.
My brother wasn't a black sheep.
He was a very proud, very smart, highly successful man.
He was a loner.
He went into the Navy and had a psychotic incident while stationed in Naples, Italy. He was successful even after the incident.
Turns out he had a mild case of schizophrenia and, because of HIPPA medical laws (which I now hate) and him living alone, our family never knew, let alone tried to assist him with his condition.
There will always be a lot of what-ifs for me.
 
Middleground said:
Do you still believe that trans people should not serve?
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Yeah. I explained why. Because the logistical issues that are inherent to transitioning.
Required:
Blood work
Hormones (For life)
Post Transition requires daily to weekly dilation for MTF FTM have other issues
Risks to health (Blood clots are a high risk, and require immediate medical attention that you may not have in the field)
Therapy on at least a quarterly basis

These are things not conducive to military service.
 
SDET said:
My family did a hell of a lot less than that and I walked away from them. Just being petty, gossip-py, cranky, envious and demanding was enough for me to walk away. Freedom of association isn't limited by genetics. Trying to cheat a few thousand dollars out of my mom's estate was enough for me to shut it down.

I still wonder if there's more male-to-female transgenderism than the reverse because of society pushing this "toxic masculinity" notion. I could see some guys thinking if they stop being male, they stop being toxic.

Has anyone congratulated you for making the socially responsible decision to shed your "toxicity" while lamenting that all men don't do the same?
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No, in fact some feminist really hate Trans women, did you know that?
 
cabse5 said:
You know, Renae, it took about two minutes for me to figure out who called you. The phase 'old-man' in my day meant companion (boy-friend husband). I also know 'old-man' in my father's day meant father.
The iterations of who was calling you (and the sex of that person, strangely,) gave me a head ache.

The rest of your post about bad sheep in the family made me real sad.
It made me think about my deceased brother.
My brother wasn't a black sheep.
He was a very proud, very smart, highly successful man.
He was a loner.
He went into the Navy and had a psychotic incident while stationed in Naples, Italy. He was successful even after the incident.
Turns out he had a mild case of schizophrenia and, because of HIPPA medical laws (which I now hate) and him living alone, our family never knew, let alone tried to assist him with his condition.
There will always be a lot of what-ifs for me.
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I'm old school, I did my my dad. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, as I tell people death always hurts, but time at least takes the edge off it.
 
Renae said:
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
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I'm really sorry you have to deal with this terrible situation Renae.
 
Renae said:
Yeah. I explained why. Because the logistical issues that are inherent to transitioning.
Required:
Blood work
Hormones (For life)
Post Transition requires daily to weekly dilation for MTF FTM have other issues
Risks to health (Blood clots are a high risk, and require immediate medical attention that you may not have in the field)
Therapy on at least a quarterly basis

These are things not conducive to military service.
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Yet there were plenty of trans people honourably serving before they were banned by Trump. Women have needs too. Against them serving too?

If you think of yourself as second class then you're never going to overcome these issues that you seem to have. I honestly think you're in great denial and that you actually hate yourself. I hope you're getting therapy.
 
Middleground said:
Yet there were plenty of trans people honourably serving before they were banned by Trump. Women have needs too. Against them serving too?

If you think of yourself as second class then you're never going to overcome these issues that you seem to have. I honestly think you're in great denial and that you actually hate yourself. I hope you're getting therapy.
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MG, I've never thought of myself or any trans person as 2nd class. Being able to serve the military or not, doesn't define you in society. If you are Trans, but not transitioning, then I have no problem with it. Note that all of my concerns revolve around two things: Health and Safety.

The health of our service members is damned sure important to me. If I was deployed today, as Renae, and had a blood clot in the field, I could die or suffer serious long term health problems. This is a problem. It's a problem for my unit/division I would be deployed with. They'd lose a valued and well trained Sailor who knew the mission, trained for it and was vital part of getting the job done.

While yes, the military is used to filling holes, you want to minimize those.

If I was deployed and went 2-3 weeks off hormones, that is a REAL problem. I just did that for surgery, three weeks, it was hell MG. My mood went all over the place, it was not fun. There were physical problems that arose from being off my Estrogen and T-Blocker and then going right back on them.

You don't seem to care about the service members, just the political angle of "2ND CLASS CITIZEN". I've been on the tip of the spear, I've been shot at, I know what is involved with Military Service. My objections are well being of the service member, and the Military as a whole.


You? Politics only.
 
Renae said:
MG, I've never thought of myself or any trans person as 2nd class. Being able to serve the military or not, doesn't define you in society. If you are Trans, but not transitioning, then I have no problem with it. Note that all of my concerns revolve around two things: Health and Safety.
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Yes, you do. Self-awareness is not your strong suit.

The health of our service members is damned sure important to me. If I was deployed today, as Renae, and had a blood clot in the field, I could die or suffer serious long term health problems. This is a problem. It's a problem for my unit/division I would be deployed with. They'd lose a valued and well trained Sailor who knew the mission, trained for it and was vital part of getting the job done.

While yes, the military is used to filling holes, you want to minimize those.

If I was deployed and went 2-3 weeks off hormones, that is a REAL problem. I just did that for surgery, three weeks, it was hell MG. My mood went all over the place, it was not fun. There were physical problems that arose from being off my Estrogen and T-Blocker and then going right back on them.
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Plenty of trans people have served honourably. If they're healthy, why not?

You don't seem to care about the service members, just the political angle of "2ND CLASS CITIZEN". I've been on the tip of the spear, I've been shot at, I know what is involved with Military Service. My objections are well being of the service member, and the Military as a whole.
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Plenty of non-trans people have not qualified for duty because of health issues. Bone spurs, as an example. What you're doing is lumping people together as a whole, like "left wingers are...". Not all trans people are fit to serve but some certainly are. Those that want to should have equal opportunity. This is what makes your country great.


You? Politics only.
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M'kay... :roll:

PS. Stop hating yourself.
 
Middleground said:
Yes, you do. Self-awareness is not your strong suit.



Plenty of trans people have served honourably. If they're healthy, why not?



Plenty of non-trans people have not qualified for duty because of health issues. Bone spurs, as an example. What you're doing is lumping people together as a whole, like "left wingers are...". Not all trans people are fit to serve but some certainly are. Those that want to should have equal opportunity. This is what makes your country great.




M'kay... :roll:

PS. Stop hating yourself.
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It's obvious you are incapable of having an honest discussion and allowing the value of another persons POV that differs from yours to be considered.

I'm not a second class citizen, no trans is. Your political hackery on this issue shows you don't care about transgender people, much like gun grabbers dancing on the graves of dead children after a shooting, Transpeople are for you just a means to mount the high horse and act as if you are superior.

You are not, and it sickens me when a cisgender like you uses people like me for your own selfish needs.
 
Renae said:
No, in fact some feminist really hate Trans women, did you know that?
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I presume that would be the "executive feminist" that just wants executive jobs that they are not qualified for.
 
Renae said:
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
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I have to ask, are you surprised?

There are a lot of bigots in the world. They are in my family too. I hear my friends say inappropriate stuff all the time about me, my culture, religion, etc.

I always say the same thing... I don't really have any good advice on what to do or how to handle it. I struggle with having kids and trying to tell them, teach them, or prepare them. I have no answers, no witty catch phrase, nothing.... but my mom says, we just have to learn to deal with it.
 
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