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Family and hate of LGBT

Renae

Renae

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Location
San Antonio Texas
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Political Leaning
Conservative
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
 
Renae said:
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
Click to expand...

I'm very sorry to hear that your family caused you so much pain. Sometimes the family we choose is better for us than the family we were born to. Best of luck going forward.
 
Renae said:
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
Click to expand...

Oh man. :(

I'm so sorry, Renae. I can't imagine how bad that must've hurt. It really sucks when family cannot accept who you are. It's just a bunch of ignorant foolishness on their part. It was a terrible time for me, and it sucks that you still have to deal with that kind of difficulty. I've gotten over most of the hoopla in my life over it, though I've still got family "praying for me". It's a bunch of bull****. People drive their own family members away from them, because they've got too much bigotry in their hearts.

And I'm glad you're standing up for yourself. You don't have to take that ****.
 
Renae said:
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
Click to expand...

*sigh*...sorry to hear all that, Renae. I can't understand your pain, it doesn't impact my life or my reality at all, but I wish you didn't have to go through it, and I'd support whatever it took so you didn't have to, just as I'm sure you would for others suffering through things you cannot understand or doesn't impact you.

And ya, you can say **** family...but it still hurts, and I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Take it easy, lady. Focus on your own family, that's within your sphere of influence. Doesn't sound like the rest are worth much thought.
 
Renae said:
I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.
Click to expand...

Also...

Renae said:
Will you vote for more regulations, higher taxes and Government intrusion in your life in November?

Basically, are you voting for Democrats?
Click to expand...

So you're smart enough to walk away from a hateful family of bigots, but not smart enough to walk away from a hateful Republican party of bigots? Sad.
 
Renae said:
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
Click to expand...

I believe its never too late to find your real family
 
Renae said:
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
Click to expand...
**** them and the ship they road in on.

Just put them behind you. I know that's easier said than done because they're your family, but you're never going to be happy or feel good around those people. They will continue to chip away at your well being because they themselves sound like highly dysfunctional and disloyal people, who desperately wish to bury their skeletons and misdeeds.

Those kind of people like to put on a front that they are a loving family when in social circles, but every once in awhile the mask slips, and you get to see who they truly are. You've got to be strong for yourself and you son, which means making a life without them.
 
Life is too short to fill it with people who make you unhappy, even if those people are related to you.
 
Renae said:
I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry to hear that Renae. A couple of thoughts that come across my mind,

- Accepting that you personally don't fit the mold of "traditional" ideas of human gender identity or sexuality is difficult. In contrast to yourself I was advantaged by being young in a time/area that is much more liberal, and I think you can vouch for the fact that your experience was very different than mine. I believe you mentioned that it took you many years to understand yourself.

So if that's all true and it took long time to understand yourself, doesn't that mean it has given you a huge head-start over the people in your life? Or has your family known as long as you? Are they just being stubborn or just late players to the game? If you've been down this path for 5 years, say, and they've only been down the path a year; how much blame can be cast?

- I think you probably do need to protect yourself, but outside of LGBT issues ... Honestly I would be incensed if my father told me, "Don't ****ing talk to me..." about my spouse, or my career, or my finances or anything else really. That's not how you address family about any matter! Does your family typically do that? I would call Dad up or send a letter saying that that his behavior on the phone call was out-of-bounds regardless of the subject matter or disagreement between us. Geez.
 
Renae said:
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
Click to expand...

That's really upsetting. It sucks how often family can let you down. As a professional bridge burner, I commend your decision to walk away. Cutting out toxic people, even blood, really helps with anxiety and depression.

That said, all these years and I had no idea you were trans.
 
MrWonka said:
Also...



So you're smart enough to walk away from a hateful family of bigots, but not smart enough to walk away from a hateful Republican party of bigots? Sad.
Click to expand...

I've explained to you Wonka, and a lot of other people, that while there are some elements of the GOP I disagree with, 95% of the GOP Platform on economics and the way Government should be appeals to me, conversely 95% of what the Democrat party stands for abhors me.

5% is not enough to flip my allegiance. I more than just a Transwoman.
 
brothern said:
I'm sorry to hear that Renae. A couple of thoughts that come across my mind,

- Accepting that you personally don't fit the mold of "traditional" ideas of human gender identity or sexuality is difficult. In contrast to yourself I was advantaged by being young in a time/area that is much more liberal, and I think you can vouch for the fact that your experience was very different than mine. I believe you mentioned that it took you many years to understand yourself.

So if that's all true and it took long time to understand yourself, doesn't that mean it has given you a huge head-start over the people in your life? Or has your family known as long as you? Are they just being stubborn or just late players to the game? If you've been down this path for 5 years, say, and they've only been down the path a year; how much blame can be cast?

- I think you probably do need to protect yourself, but outside of LGBT issues ... Honestly I would be incensed if my father told me, "Don't ****ing talk to me..." about my spouse, or my career, or my finances or anything else really. That's not how you address family about any matter! Does your family typically do that? I would call Dad up or send a letter saying that that his behavior on the phone call was out-of-bounds regardless of the subject matter or disagreement between us. Geez.
Click to expand...

My family is my family, I think what makes it hard to walk away has been my mother. She passed away when I was 7, cancer, it was terrible, ****ed a lot of things up in our lives. Dad never really was the same after that. I think... I've tried to please him out of a fear of being abandoned by my only living parent. But it's just time to accept that I gotta live my life, sounds silly at my age, but the impact of my mothers passing was a shockwave that still ripples.
 
Spartacus FPV said:
That's really upsetting. It sucks how often family can let you down. As a professional bridge burner, I commend your decision to walk away. Cutting out toxic people, even blood, really helps with anxiety and depression.

That said, all these years and I had no idea you were trans.
Click to expand...

Haha, thanks, I actually uh, have a friend I play Overwatch with. One day I sent him an old pic of me with a 70's looking mutton chops in a leather jacket, then a more recent pic. His first reaction was "I thought you had a wife... and I thought you were a sassy black woman!"

That almost killed me. The people that only know me through gaming, are flabbergasted when they see a pic of the old me.
 
If walking away works for you...OK. But walk away with love and forgiveness. Not because they are worthy of it but because you are. Its OK to leave a toxic family...but leave out of love, not anger or hatred. At the end of the day, you are responsible for yourself, for how you feel about yourself, for your own happiness. When you reach the point of self love you realize...truly...no one else's opinion of you matters. Not even a little bit. Their words, thoughts, or actions should indicate who they are which in turn influences your level of interaction with them. But for your own sake, heal pain and find forgiveness.
 
MrWonka said:
Also...

So you're smart enough to walk away from a hateful family of bigots, but not smart enough to walk away from a hateful Republican party of bigots? Sad.
Click to expand...

Not trying to hijack the thread at all but:

You sound like a bit of a bigot yourself. I suppose you expect all black people to vote DNC as well?
People are more than their race, sexual orientation, gender-pronoun or whatever group label you apply to them; People are individuals first.
 
Renae said:
So the other night my old man called while I was streaming Overwatch, and of course Renae plays overwatch, I didn't see who called I just answered. He thought it was my wife. When I made it clear it was me, he got super ****ing mad "Don't ****ing talk to me in your girly voice ever again".

I realized a truth at that moment, as hard as it is, that I have to walk away from family now. I can't wait for them to get over it. I'm done. It hurts like hell. But that sort of hate and bigotry I refuse to subject myself too.

My Aunt and Uncle I lived with as a teen cause they were over seas and told not to bring their teenage son? Physically and mentally abused me. I blew the whistle and escape that, but no one called the cops. My Uncle today is a respected member of the family. My other uncle, the one that abused my son sexually? Bastards in hell now, lung cancer, but the WHOLE family was there honoring him and think my son is a liar. I recently met with one of his other victims, his own son.

But being Trans? Black sheep.

**** family.
Click to expand...

Walk away.

I'm sorry that you're catching so much grief, but it's time to distance yourself from your family -- at least from the ones who cannot accept you as you are.

You have every right to be the person you are and no one else has a right to try and make you into something you aren't.

Sometimes, you just have to get away from the situation and find your bliss elsewhere. There's no sense in staying and being miserable.

But, your "old man" is miserable, believe me. No one is happy when they're exhibiting that sort of hatred. I pity him because he can't be free from himself. He is a prisoner of the same hatred that was taught to him as a child. He's not a happy man. Happy men don't act that way.

But you? I celebrate your life and I revel in your differences. I respect and your ability to leave the hurtful behind and go where life treats you right. I know it may be hard, but you deserve to be happy.
 
Hang in there. Just be the best part of you that you can be and fly above the noise.
 
HowardBThiname said:
Walk away.

I'm sorry that you're catching so much grief, but it's time to distance yourself from your family -- at least from the ones who cannot accept you as you are.

You have every right to be the person you are and no one else has a right to try and make you into something you aren't.

Sometimes, you just have to get away from the situation and find your bliss elsewhere. There's no sense in staying and being miserable.

But, your "old man" is miserable, believe me. No one is happy when they're exhibiting that sort of hatred. I pity him because he can't be free from himself. He is a prisoner of the same hatred that was taught to him as a child. He's not a happy man. Happy men don't act that way.

But you? I celebrate your life and I revel in your differences. I respect and your ability to leave the hurtful behind and go where life treats you right. I know it may be hard, but you deserve to be happy.
Click to expand...

The last two weeks of Mom's life, she could only blink out of one eye. Was generally on Morphine. Dad would get up, see us kids off to school then he'd head to work and strap an F-4 on his back 2-3 times during the day. Get home, have dinner and then head over to the hospital to tell her about our day. He watched the love of his life die horribly, slowly in front of him. That broke him. EVERYONE says the man they knew died with her. I believe it.
 
Spartacus FPV said:
Not trying to hijack the thread at all but:

You sound like a bit of a bigot yourself.
Click to expand...
You don't seem to have any grasp of what that word even means. You just see your party being called it so you parrot it back.

Spartacus FPV said:
I suppose you expect all black people to vote DNC as well?
Click to expand...
It's perfectly reasonable to assume that at least 10% of a race are idiots or **** heads. That wouldn't be racist. When you start assuming 90% of a race are morons that's where it turns in to obvious racism.

Spartacus FPV said:
People are more than their race, sexual orientation, gender-pronoun or whatever group label you apply to them; People are individuals first.
Click to expand...
Right? So what does it say about the Republican party that 90% of "individuals" with black skin refuse to vote for them regardless of what other ideas they might share? Why is it so hard to believe that 90% of Black people vote Democrat because Republicans really are that ****ing bad for them?

African Americans and Latinos are generally both very Christian, and not super supportive of gay marriage or the transgendered community. I'm willing to bet their not big fans of abortion either. All these wealth African American professional athletes that are protesting Trump and police brutality should be benefitting massively from Trump's tax cuts. Yet none of those things are enough to sway the African American vote to anything even close to 50/50. Why? Are they all morons who can't see what's good for them, or do they just recognize the reality of how horribly Racist the Republican party is.

The KKK, neo-Nazis, and White Supremacists are in love with Donald Trump and the modern Republican Party meanwhile African Americans absolutely hate it. Why is it so hard for you to accept the possibility that both of those groups are in fact voting for the correct candidates who's policies most accurately reflect their own world views?
 
HowardBThiname said:
Social shaming on a thread like this is abominable.
Click to expand...

Why? He's very clearly and very obviously a hypocrite. Is he some kind of snowflake that can't handle having that legitimately pointed out. Why do conservatives suddenly want me to respect their safe space? I thought those were bad? I thought we were supposed to tell it like it is even if it's offensive and demand that people like Renae stop being so sensitive?

You don't get to have it both ways.
 
MrWonka said:
Why? He's very clearly and very obviously a hypocrite. Is he some kind of snowflake that can't handle having that legitimately pointed out. Why do conservatives suddenly want me to respect their safe space? I thought those were bad? I thought we were supposed to tell it like it is even if it's offensive and demand that people like Renae stop being so sensitive?

You don't get to have it both ways.
Click to expand...

Stop trolling.

He's smart enough to be in the GOP as well as strong enough to leave a dysfunctional family behind.

Both decisions are above reproach.
 
You puddle of ****

MrWonka said:
You don't seem to have any grasp of what that word even means. You just see your party being called it so you parrot it back.


It's perfectly reasonable to assume that at least 10% of a race are idiots or **** heads. That wouldn't be racist. When you start assuming 90% of a race are morons that's where it turns in to obvious racism.


Right? So what does it say about the Republican party that 90% of "individuals" with black skin refuse to vote for them regardless of what other ideas they might share? Why is it so hard to believe that 90% of Black people vote Democrat because Republicans really are that ****ing bad for them?

African Americans and Latinos are generally both very Christian, and not super supportive of gay marriage or the transgendered community. I'm willing to bet their not big fans of abortion either. All these wealth African American professional athletes that are protesting Trump and police brutality should be benefitting massively from Trump's tax cuts. Yet none of those things are enough to sway the African American vote to anything even close to 50/50. Why? Are they all morons who can't see what's good for them, or do they just recognize the reality of how horribly Racist the Republican party is.

The KKK, neo-Nazis, and White Supremacists are in love with Donald Trump and the modern Republican Party meanwhile African Americans absolutely hate it. Why is it so hard for you to accept the possibility that both of those groups are in fact voting for the correct candidates who's policies most accurately reflect their own world views?
Click to expand...

Your numbers are way off, Trumps support among the black population has doubled.

You saw a tragic post like OP's where someone is hurting, you chose to attack this person politically for not being in your party of choice. You are a truly disgusting bigot for that; I'm talking Ana Kasparian "If you vote Trump/GOP... I'm just better than you" levels of bigotry.

Just because those hate groups prefer the GOP doesn't make the GOP any more racist, no more than the DNC are violent anarchists because the violent anarchists vote for them.

I could explain to you why national sovereignty, secure borders and opposition to illegal immigration can be supported by racists and non-racists for different reasons, but I doubt you'd get it or are worth the effort. Heck I see more overt racism (against white people, or POC's who don't vote Dem) and sexism (against men) coming from the left these days. SJW's made Ruby Rose quit Twitter after being called "Not Lesbian Enough" or "Too pretty & white" by her LGBT community. The left is not tolerant at all, especially not to ideas.

I'm done with your hijacking of the thread you bigot, you are not superior to half the country.
 
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