Re: "Decent men have affairs all the time. I’m going to tell you why." - A woman's point of view
Heh
I got news for the author of that article.
This
"They loved their wives, they loved their children, but they couldn’t cope with the lack of intimacy, both emotional and sexual, that characterised their relationship. Sometimes they’d been trying for a year to get things right, sometimes for 10 years. They’d tried to tell their wife that they couldn’t handle the lack of sex, of affection, of connection; but often their wives had the same attitude as me: suck it up, sunshine – I’m busy."
is the most common line of bull**** spewed by men that have affairs. Now...dont get me wrong...its probably legit in SOME cases. But not most. In most...its a 'line'.
Here (in my experience) is the main reason why men have affairs. They do not and cannot connect with the concept of love. While women equate sex to love, men equate sex to conquest. Love is something women ARE while to men, love is something you DO.
Since our earliest ages we condition men to abandon connection to feelings and love. Where a little girl is raised to love and to nurture, a little boy is taugh shut up, stop crying, grow up, be a man. When mothers cry over loss and pain, fathers be tough...impervious...dont show pain...pain is weakness. When a young woman has her heart broken, her friends rally around her and nurture her. if a young man has his heart broken and goes and cries about it to his friends, they will attack him using the most effective forms of attack we have...they attack the wounded hearts manhood. They emasculate him....primarily because they themselves dont know how to deal with things like feelings and emotion. Finally...when we marry...women fall in love. Men fall in control. Feelings? What are you...insane? We dont discuss 'feelings'. We want love...but we dont know what it is. We marry...but dont know how to nurture and develop a loving relationship. And we drift apart emotionally...more because we dont know any better than out of intent. SO affairs? Well...they are just sex anyway.
There are always exceptions in both genders. But for the most part...THAT is why men have affairs. They never develop the deep sustaining life connecting, life affirming levels of love. It is also why women have affairs...because they are married to people that dont know how to express love, connection, feeling, and emotion. And so when they find someone that says "hey loved their wives, they loved their children, but they couldn’t cope with the lack of intimacy, both emotional and sexual, that characterised their relationship. Sometimes they’d been trying for a year to get things right, sometimes for 10 years. They’d tried to tell their wife that they couldn’t handle the lack of sex, of affection, of connection; but often their wives had the same attitude as me: suck it up, sunshine – I’m busy." well...they understand.