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A wife attempts to publicly shame her successful husband into minimum wage tasks

nota bene said:
I was thrilled to give up my career to stay home and still think this is the most important job in the world. I just thank God that I had an education and was able, although I was definitely "punished" for staying home by falling behind in career development, to support my children.

Did you find your wife through a catalog? I ask because I know a few guys who have, and you sound just like them.
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Doing that catalog thing must be a pretty good deal if it results in marriages that last decades. In my case no. If you read my post carefully, you would have figured out that I just mixed in with Latin communities. It's amazing how volunteering to fill out government forms opens doors. It got me almost as good of results as Andy Dufresne got in Shawshank Redemption. The difference being dates for me instead of books.
 
SDET said:
Doing that catalog thing must be a pretty good deal if it results in marriages that last decades. In my case no. If you read my post carefully, you would have figured out that I just mixed in with Latin communities. It's amazing how volunteering to fill out government forms opens doors. It got me almost as good of results as Andy Dufresne got in Shawshank Redemption. The difference being dates for me instead of books.
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You sold your language skills for sex. Hmmm.
 
American said:
Has anyone here said it was? Did I also mention that I kept the cars in good order as well? If you don't think some of the things men do is hard, try it.
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Yes, or at least implied it, a person on here did suggest that it was fair for a man who was making more than his wife (regardless of the hours worked) should not be expected to do other, "menial" tasks (such as helping with the children or housework). While it is good to take advantage of skills that each has, in some, really many, relationships, neither may have those skills, or even both. My husband and I can both mow the lawn or clean the floors or do the dishes or even put together furniture or do maintenance (heck, both of us can in fact fix our cable wiring if need be since we both went through that training). Neither of us knows how to fix our cars, so we send them to a body shop for any work. But there are certainly things that we both can do (pretty much equally well) but that neither of us wants to do. Some things I try to encourage (such as spending time with the children) because I know what it is like to have a father who is there but who doesn't participate in the child rearing. I view my dad more as an older brother than a father because he just didn't help take care of us beyond the extra paycheck (and once my mother got out of school when I was in elementary school, she made more than him always). Paycheck should not matter when it comes to that stuff. It is important to have some active participation in your children's lives as much for the children as it is for division of labor.
 
American said:
So men have no choice but to do those things, and they do. I've never stood among a group of men, only to hear how women aren't doing those things that only men do; and it isn't fair. Being a man means sucking it up lots of the time; maybe more women should try it.
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Like what exactly are those things that "only men do"? I don't think that there are things that "only women do" (besides physically having the baby or breastfeeding), but there are certainly a lot of men who think that women should handle most of the childrearing and/or housework, regardless of whether she works, and particularly if he makes more money than she does, simply because it is a "woman's job".

It is no more my "job" to clean the house than it is his, nor less. Just as keeping the lawn mowed/taken care of, and our children provided for and healthy is both of our jobs, equally. We don't bring home the same amount of money, but when our hours worked/away from home are equivalent, then the housework and childcare should be pretty much matching. The division of labor should account for each partner's job when it comes to time away and even difficulty, but they should be shared still.
 
SDET said:
Doing that catalog thing must be a pretty good deal if it results in marriages that last decades. In my case no. If you read my post carefully, you would have figured out that I just mixed in with Latin communities. It's amazing how volunteering to fill out government forms opens doors. It got me almost as good of results as Andy Dufresne got in Shawshank Redemption. The difference being dates for me instead of books.
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Picked up some machismo too, eh? You sound like my grandparents, lol
 
womens are home makers and should raise children. Men should work full time.
 
SDET said:
My one problem with mom's viral letter begging her husband for more help - Chicago Tribune

What if those fathers choose not to? If Mizz Erlach wants help, I suggest that she visit Care dot com and find someone. Distracting a breadwinner from building a career is just plain stupid. Remember that women generally don't marry down. How many female attorneys or physicians do you see married to plumbers, auto mechanics or roofers? It borders on abuse to "wage nag" a husband to do put in whatever effort is needed to advance in his career, then publicly shame him for not doing domestic tasks.

When women start being willing to "marry down", then maybe discussing "gender equality" at home can be a reasonable discussion.




How much do you want do bet that her husband will divorce her right after the kids turn 18?

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You know why this attitude is dying out? Because women want real men, not pathetic weaklings who feel they are too "good" to help around the house or help with the kids.
 
Vlissingen said:
womens are home makers and should raise children. Men should work full time.
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Nice name, I was born in Vlissingen, but the attitude you post here is nonsense. You know full well that is not an option with the financial burdens on families who want to get a mortgage. A lot of time this takes 2 wages, not just one.
 
calamity said:
I know several guys who earn less money than their wives. They are actually happier than the rest of us.
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Of course they are. Everyone is happier with a lighter workload & less stress, regardless of gender. Stay at home parents, both male and female, tend to be happier than working parents.
 
Peter King said:
You know why this attitude is dying out? Because women want real men, not pathetic weaklings who feel they are too "good" to help around the house or help with the kids.
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It takes 10,000 labor hours of experience to master a field. Every hour used instead on menial tasks weakens one's career. It's just stupid (bad investment) to do tasks yourself if someone who earns 20% of what you do can do it instead.
 
SDET said:
It takes 10,000 labor hours of experience to master a field. Every hour used instead on menial tasks weakens one's career. It's just stupid (bad investment) to do tasks yourself if someone who earns 20% of what you do can do it instead.
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That is just nonsense, total and utter nonsense. Normal people work 8 or 9 hours a day for their career and manage quite nicely, to then claim that in the weekends of dozens of hours or the evenings 5 times a week a man cannot find it in his heart to help around the house is just bull crap.

A marriage/relationship/family is a partnership in which each partner helps out does not whine about having to take out the trash or help with the cleaning because it interferes with their career. Men who object to that level of partnership with a woman are either bone lazy, arrogant pieces of human excrement or if it is truly because of their career they must be extraordinarily bad at learning skills. Or of course they feel to good to do things in partnership with their wives and in that case they are just a pathetic waste of a woman's affection and attention because men like that should stay single and hire a cleaner and not bother intelligent women with their backwards thinking or their pathetic work ethic.
 
Peter King said:
That is just nonsense, total and utter nonsense. Normal people work 8 or 9 hours a day for their career and manage quite nicely, to then claim that in the weekends of dozens of hours or the evenings 5 times a week a man cannot find it in his heart to help around the house is just bull crap.

A marriage/relationship/family is a partnership in which each partner helps out does not whine about having to take out the trash or help with the cleaning because it interferes with their career. Men who object to that level of partnership with a woman are either bone lazy, arrogant pieces of human excrement or if it is truly because of their career they must be extraordinarily bad at learning skills. Or of course they feel to good to do things in partnership with their wives and in that case they are just a pathetic waste of a woman's affection and attention because men like that should stay single and hire a cleaner and not bother intelligent women with their backwards thinking or their pathetic work ethic.
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You're right on one point. Whining is a stupid idea. Just refuse.

Eight or nine hours is JUST the time one puts in on the clock. Then there's studying, going to user group meetings, keeping certifications current, etc. Some men do go different degrees of MGTOW, the happiest are likely the ones that set a time limit with the same woman. There are literally BILLIONS of women on this planet that would just LOVE to never need to seek employment for the rest of their lives. There's no need to put up with btching and shaming for refusing to do things one doesn't enjoy in their own home.

I have seen men of the type you're talking about. They write slapdash, copy-and-paste code laden with defects.
 
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SDET said:
You're right on one point. Whining is a stupid idea. Just refuse.

Eight or nine hours is JUST the time one puts in on the clock. Then there's studying, going to user group meetings, keeping certifications current, etc. Some men do go different degrees of MGTOW, the happiest are likely the ones that set a time limit with the same woman. There are literally BILLIONS of women on this planet that would just LOVE to never need to seek employment for the rest of their lives. There's no need to put up with btching and shaming for refusing to do things one doesn't enjoy in their own home.

I have seen men of the type you're talking about. They write slapdash, copy-and-paste code laden with defects.
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And still real men have time to help their partners with other things than cheap excuses and arrogant attitudes as to what "men" should and should not do with regard to helping around the house/family.
 
Peter King said:
And still real men have time to help their partners with other things than cheap excuses and arrogant attitudes as to what "men" should and should not do with regard to helping around the house/family.
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There are no excuses needed. If she doesn't like it; she knows where the door is. Pro tip: In most cases kids resent the one that files for divorce.
 
SDET said:
There are no excuses needed. If she doesn't like it; she knows where the door is. Pro tip: In most cases kids resent the one that files for divorce.
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Nope, children are smart enough to realize when a piece of crap dad is exactly that and they will not forgive him easily.

And it is not she who has to go, he can go and take his precious career with him with which he can pay for his spouse and his kids. He could have gotten away with simple tasks to do but if he wants to play it this way, sucks to be him then because it makes him a moron and much less well off.
 
Peter King said:
Nope, children are smart enough to realize when a piece of crap dad is exactly that and they will not forgive him easily.

And it is not she who has to go, he can go and take his precious career with him with which he can pay for his spouse and his kids. He could have gotten away with simple tasks to do but if he wants to play it this way, sucks to be him then because it makes him a moron and much less well off.
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Helpful hint: Sh*t test her before the marriage so you know what you can get away with.
 
SDET said:
Helpful hint: Sh*t test her before the marriage so you know what you can get away with.
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Sadly women smell the stink on asswipes like that a mile off and will have better lawyers and if they have kids they will milk him dry and good for her, pieces of excrement like that need to be taken down a few pegs because they think they are great, well, sadly they are not, they are feckless douches.
 
Peter King said:
Sadly women smell the stink on asswipes like that a mile off and will have better lawyers and if they have kids they will milk him dry and good for her, pieces of excrement like that need to be taken down a few pegs because they think they are great, well, sadly they are not, they are feckless douches.
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Ya' see, buddy, Texas almost never awards alimony. Furthermore, the right kind of college fund for the kids is untouchable in divorce. If a man has a wife, it's a VERY good idea to stay in Texas or Georgia.

https://guyvorce.com/greatest-nastiest-states-alimony/

The Greatest Alimony States for Men
Georgia:
Georgia has some of the best laws in the country in regards to knocking out alimony from the divorce equation. Sometimes you have to wonder if they named it the Peach State after their alimony laws.

While some alimony can be ordered, usually it is not. They keep trying to improve their laws related to alimony, but as with legislation, it is difficult to cover all contingencies, like this one related to trust protection exclusion related to alimony.

Additionally, if the spousal payee committed adultery, they are barred from alimony payments altogether.

Texas:
Texas is one of the hardest states to get alimony payments in the country. It often is just not awarded at all.

The only downside is that the Lone Star State is a community-property state. Wealthy breadwinners beware! Property gets split down the middle.
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SDET said:
Helpful hint: Sh*t test her before the marriage so you know what you can get away with.
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What does it mean to "****-test" a woman?
 
SDET said:
OK.

https://www.dallastxdivorce.com/201...ed-to-know-about-alimonymaintenance-in-texas/

I suspect that what caught your eye were the maximum amounts in the rare event that it's granted.
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Not at all. I was thinking of my mother.

You've talked about keeping the little woman busy performing all the menial tasks an "illiterate" can take care of while you're out building your professional career, so just make certain that she didn't help put you through med or law school or any other professional training.
 
nota bene said:
What does it mean to "****-test" a woman?
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In nerdspeak, you could call it boundary testing. For example: A man can say to a girl he's dating, "How about you come to my place and make dinner?". Then afterwards see what she does when asked to do the dishes. If she laughs and responds in what amounts to a "no". You know she's not a "keeper" and just someone to see for fun and fooling around.

Some feminist can do the same thing: If she absolutely sure there's a guy she would never want an intimate relationship with, she can stand him up on a date. If she gets away with it, she can Friendzone him, getting free dinners and rides on a regular basis and give absolutely nothing in return. As an added bonus, she could even see if the guy has so little self-respect that he gives her a ride to a date with another guy. On one of her platonic dates, she can even ask her Friendzoned guy about how dangerous is it to miss a day's birth control then answer "whew", that's good to know; I was worried.

There are numerous guys on youtube that cite these kind of experiences. I have kind of mulled over what I could legally do to a chick that tried any of this crap with one of my sons. Actually, my wife and I fought over this. My youngest asked for a lock on his bedroom for when he has his girlfriend over. My wife says he should "respect his girlfriend's virtue". I installed the lock and reminded my wife that I pay the bills.
 
SDET said:
In nerdspeak, you could call it boundary testing. For example: A man can say to a girl he's dating, "How about you come to my place and make dinner?". Then afterwards see what she does when asked to do the dishes. If she laughs and responds in what amounts to a "no". You know she's not a "keeper" and just someone to see for fun and fooling around.

Some feminist can do the same thing: If she absolutely sure there's a guy she would never want an intimate relationship with, she can stand him up on a date. If she gets away with it, she can Friendzone him, getting free dinners and rides on a regular basis and give absolutely nothing in return. As an added bonus, she could even see if the guy has so little self-respect that he gives her a ride to a date with another guy. On one of her platonic dates, she can even ask her Friendzoned guy about how dangerous is it to miss a day's birth control then answer "whew", that's good to know; I was worried.

There are numerous guys on youtube that cite these kind of experiences. I have kind of mulled over what I could legally do to a chick that tried any of this crap with one of my sons. Actually, my wife and I fought over this. My youngest asked for a lock on his bedroom for when he has his girlfriend over. My wife says he should "respect his girlfriend's virtue". I installed the lock and reminded my wife that I pay the bills.
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I could not imagine the audacity to ask someone to my house, cook me dinner, and do my dishes. Like, entitled much?? :lol:

Then there's the complete lack of disrespect to your partner when they put in their feelings on how an action should be taken regarding both of your children and you completely dismiss her feelings and do what you want. Hey you might pay the bills but she's the one raising them, how about taking that into consideration?

It just sounds selfish and controlling.
 
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