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Cuckolding Can be Positive for Some Couples, Study Says

CLAX1911 said:
I have no idea why you're posting this message to me.

I said I didn't understand something.

Telling me some clowns didn't ask me for advice doesn't help me understand it.
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It was a joke. You pointed out reasons why marriage isn't that useful a legal tool for inheritance & taxes, which I didn't know. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried to use information that only I had for a punchline.
 
Jesse Booth said:
Okay, first off, I need to clarify the alpha/beta thing. That refers exclusively to males.
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False.

In studies of social animals, the highest ranking individual is sometimes designated as the alpha. Males, females, or both, can be alphas, depending on the species. Where one male and one female fulfill this role together, they are sometimes referred to as the alpha pair. Other animals in the same social group may exhibit deference or other species-specific subordinate behaviours towards the alpha or alphas.

Alpha animals usually gain preferential access to food and other desirable items or activities, though the extent of this varies widely between species. Male or female alphas may gain preferential access to sex or mates; in some species, only alphas or an alpha pair reproduce.
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https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_(ethology)

Jesse Booth said:
Females aren't the betas that follow, weak-willed men are. The general idea of alphas and betas comes from a now-disproven theory about how wolf packs function - there aren't actually alpha and beta wolves, as wolf packs are simply family units.
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Partially true but incomplete.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominance_hierarchy

Dominance is context dependent.

Jesse Booth said:
The supposed "beta male" wolves were literally the supposed "alpha male" wolf's children. Hence, the subservient behavior.

As for why nobody's responding to ThoughtEx, I would presume it's because, like myself, most of the people in this thread have no idea how to respond to a guy waxing poetically about watching his wife get plowed by strangers. It's just too damn personal, even coming from an avatar with a nickname.
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Fully agreed.
 
With how many people constantly go on about it, I wouldn't be surprised if it was 60%. I wouldn't be surprised either if it was actually mostly Republicans. Certainly CNN, and other liberal platforms will be more accepting and opening of it in public, but that doesn't mean it's more significant behind closed-doors.

While I'm all for people doing whatever they want including this, on a societal level I personally hope this sticks to a fantasy and doesn't become mainstream. I feel monogamous relationships are generally more beneficial to society. I also know if I had a woman even sarcastically suggest it to me, I'd be heading the other direction at quite possibly a new world record in human speed.
 
truthatallcost said:
CNN just fulfilled a stereotype that many of us have had about them...



I'm curious where these researchers found their test group, as I don't really believe that 60% of men fantasize about being cuckolds.

Are you a cuckold, or are you in a relationship with a cuckold? Does this fantasy appeal to you?
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I encouraged my last wife to cuckold me. She was much younger & was built for sex. I shaved her vulva & she kept it hairless on her own after. We had one experience with a swinger couple also, four of us in the same bed with the other's partner. But because of our age difference (12 years) we grew apart. She became much more confident & assertive. I only wish I had encouraged her to include me as a spectator when she had sex with other men. Then we divorced. So even though a lot of men fantasize about becoming a cuckold, you have to be careful that the situation may turn around & bite you in the ass. That hurts.
 
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truthatallcost said:
CNN just fulfilled a stereotype that many of us have had about them...



I'm curious where these researchers found their test group, as I don't really believe that 60% of men fantasize about being cuckolds.

Are you a cuckold, or are you in a relationship with a cuckold? Does this fantasy appeal to you?
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I just had a conversation with a good friend about this last night. I was his best man a year and a half ago. He is sexually stimulated by the thought of his wife having sex with another man. They have cheating in their mutual history, so she is not willing to commit to fulfilling his fantasy. He's also not a heterosexual man. I'm only offering an anecdote, but I think all these things can play a role in cuckolding.
 
truthatallcost said:
I'd imagine this kind of thing could destroy a relationship. Having a 3 some with another woman can do the same. As a man, I'm only interested in a 3 some scenario involving two women.
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Cuckolding is not necessarily a threesome in the commonly understood sense of that word.
 
CMPancake said:
Cuckolding is a surprisingly common sexual fetish. Personally, I think I've known more men than women who enjoy that kind of fetish. However from personal experience, my last relationship my partner got off on watching me have sex with other female partners. The trouble was that while she did feel sexual gratification I think it did affect the relationship more negatively than positively.
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What were the negative effects?
 
ThoughtEx. said:
Well, this is a hard subject to talk about. Because most people just won't get it, they get insecure about sex. But I'll take a crack at it.

I like watching my wife with other men. And it's not an inferiority to other men thing (for some who crave degradation it is, but not for me). For me, it's about her. The guy is just a sex toy she uses to challenge me. It's like she's asking, can you handle my sexuality. I'm not a tame housewife, I do what I want. I **** who I want, when I want. I'm wild and free. And I'm yours as long as you don't try and control me. I can be with whoever I want, but I choose you.

It's actually very intimate to watch the person you love with someone else. To be witness to their fantasy in action, to let them explore themselves without judging them. Most women have very dirty minds, and love sex. But they've been shamed their whole lives into hiding it. Breaking through those defenses, getting to see the inner workings of my wife's mind. To have that level of trust. To have her so comfortable with me, and me so comfortable with her, that we can we can both honestly say we like sex, lots of sex. Weird, kinky sex, the kind that makes a preacher write a whole sermon condemning it. That deep of a connection is once in a lifetime.

And when it's happening, it's like having an inside joke. She's making eye contact with me, not him. She's putting on a show for me, not him. She's judging him and his performance with me as the standard. And they always fall short, because they don't know her like I do. I'm not watching a man please my wife, I'm watching a man fail at pleasing her as well as I could. Watching him fall for her, seek her attention, and make the mistake of thinking she could ever be his. And when she dismisses him as nothing, and when he realizes he was just a plaything in a game we play with each other. It is him who feels inferior. And I like watching the feeling of superiority in other men degrade into inferiority. I like watching her build them up, and then knock them down. And I like knowing that they will search their entire life looking for a woman that loves them so hard, they will never feel jealous.

I have a wife and a girlfriend, and we all live together. I love watching my wife with other men, but not my girlfriend, although she's free to do whatever she wants. We don't have that deep of a connection. And we probably never will, and that's ok. My girlfriend is my best friend, who just happens to sleep with me (and my wife). We'll only be together as long as it's fun for both of us. I don't mind if she falls in love with some other dude, I'd be happy for her. It wouldn't hurt our friendship. Or the type of love we have for each other. Plus I know whoever she falls for, will always be insanely jealous of me. I don't know if she will fall in love with the next guy who asks her out. But I know my wife can never fall in love with another man. I feel it deep down. And it amuses me when other men fall in love with her, only to be rejected.

And it is deeply satisfying knowing that my women are with me because they choose to be, not because they are obligated to be. They may go out and have an adventure once or twice a year. But 99% of the time, they choose to stay at home with me. Not because they have to, but because they want to. It's one thing to think that, but to know it, to have evidence of it. It's amazingly gratifying.

I challenged myself to overcome my own insecurities, and when I did, I was rewarded. Rewarded very well. Rewarded so well I barely watch porn anymore. Don't need to, I got my own personal porn stars that perform just for me.
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Yeah it is hard to talk about. Kudos for doing so. I have indulged this fantasy before, it's awesome. Not sure I wannna go into detail.
 
Just cuz I'm feeling generous, I will say one of my favorite parts, was that my lady used to have me do all hger date prep, shave her legs, her vagina, do her nails, it was an intense erotic tease. Those who look down on cuckolds as "weak" have no idea. To have a successful cuckold relationship takes a confidant husband.
 
Matter of fact, just broke up with my woman, met a Tinder girl wants to engage in it again, IDKL how much detail I feel like sharing, but anyone interested can PM, it's fun stuff.
 
IDK tho, I'm not ashamed. She's into it. Wants to hook up with her FWB right before our first date. I love the idea. Can't wait honestly. My kinda dirty girl. Plus cool in other ways. I'm a switch, she wants to be too.
 
What's even more exciting bout this one, she wants to let me do same, not technically cuckolding then. It's funny though the misconceptions I run into. Sure some cuckolds are bi, maybe even gay, some are wimps, like feminization or are "sissies"....

The truth is, most are normal men, some even what you'd call "alpha", (I kinda fit that), but, as a switch, I like to dominate, and submit. Evenm many of the "wimpy" types, it is only an aspect of their sex life, not the totality. People love labels and looking down on differences, but understanding that this fetish is as diverse as the people who engage is key. For the most part my relationships, normal, like anyone else with a very satisfying sex life, we just are old, somewhat jaded, kninky and willing to bend the traditional rules. Its takes a confident man to allow his lady to play, not a wimp, a wimp can't handle it, that's why domestic violence is common.

I did all my playa stuff as a young man. I think it has a lot to do with the fact we his prime around 20 and they do after 30, so by the time they want it constantly, many men not up to the task by s=themselves, I personally am still, but even so, why deny her all the sexy dreams, it's her time to live her fantasies and if you can support that, well it's amazing? All my breakups have had nothing to do with sex.
 
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Interesting article, though I can find little info onthe authorandoffer nothing on credibility, but seems somewhat logical to me.

After studying human sexuality for many years it has become inarguable to me that a cuckold relationship (in which the wife engages in sexual activity with a variety of men while her husband remains faithful) is most compatible with basic human evolutionary make up. It is straying from this evolutionarily grounded human bonding relationship that has produced such misunderstandings and conflict between the sexes.

At the very base of this principle is the understanding of a woman’s psychological need for a variety of sex partner’s. Psychologically, women are hardwired differently than men. A woman has a dual sex drive. The first is centered on finding a mate for life to help support her and her offspring. This is why (and when) love is such an important part of a women’s sexual desire. The second is a desire to obtain a variety of the best genetic material to produce the best children. This second desire begins to grow once a woman has found her life mate and grows stronger as time with him progresses. Eventually, this later and more powerful drive overpowers her sexual desire for her life mate. This is why a woman’s sexual desire for her husband diminishes over time. At the same time her sexual desire for other men is increasing. Often this desire for other men becomes so strong she cannot deny it. This does not make her immoral or mean that she no longer loves her husband. It is simply part of her genetic code.

Physiological sexual differences between men and women also support the cuckold relationship as the ideal for marriage. It is well known that women don’t reach her sexual peak until they are in their thirties, while men peak by the time they are twenty. In a typical marriage, a wife is generally younger than her husband or the same age. As a result, a woman’s increasing sexual appetite, do to her biologically age based sex drive, gives her greater sexual needs than her husband. She needs more sexual encounters, longer sexual encounters and more orgasms than her spouse. Her older or same age husband, on the other hand, wants sex far less than his wife, oftentimes lasts only a few minutes before he reaches orgasm and then, no longer interested in sex, leaves his wife unsatisfied and frustrated. As a marriage continues this discrepancy in sexual needs increases dramatically, usually to the breaking point of a wife secretly finding a lover or lovers outside the marriage....
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...The male also has a much simpler sex drive than a woman. He simply wants to mate with any female he finds desirable. The longer he is denied sex, the stronger his desire grows and the criterion by which he finds a woman desirable lowers. Since it is the woman who decides if he will be allowed to have sex with her or not, his desire for her sexually is also linked to the desire for her approval. As he becomes more interested in her the desire to please her as a way to get sex can become overwhelming for him. That is why you will often see men acting foolishly in front of females they desire, even though they have no chance to have sex with them. That is also why, once married, a man will begin to take his wife for granted; now that he has easy availability of sex from her, she becomes less desirable to him....
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...Furthermore, the idea of open marriage assumes the erroneous notion that men need a variety of sex partners. While all evidence indicates that a married woman both physiologically and psychologically does need a variety of sexual partners, a married man does not. The genetic code that drives a man is the thrill of pursuit, not the need for variety. Husbands in clinical studies who’s desire for their wives have waned and who’s interest have turned to other women have been completely turned around when their wives begin using arousal and denial techniques on them. These techniques instill uncertainty in the husband as to whether he will be allowed to complete a sex act with her or not. Time after time, in study after study, these husband’s desires have been focused back to their wives exclusively, losing all interest in other women. The wives in these studies were even able to vary their husband’s level of interest through increasing or decreasing their application of arousal and denial techniques. It was further found that when these same wives reverted back to traditional sexual practices with their husbands, their husbands began to loose interest again and began to again look at other women as possible sex partners....
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For some reason cuck porn is hot to me but I'll never do any cuck things IRL. I don't see how it's "positive" though.
 
If this is true about Westerners, then it is definitely proof that they need God, and are unfit to govern themselves as "individuals", as they fall prey to living like beasts and feral creatures, in slavery to nothing but their lusts and most adolescent whims.
 
ChezC3 said:
:lamo

Yeah, having another man plow your wife is so empowering....:thumbs:

Wow the Unthinking Left never fails to amaze me with their BS...
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It could be a great way to get out of paying alimony. In many states if the woman cohabitates or remarries she loses alimony. I wonder if some men would consider this akin to giving a puppy away, after the kids turn 18, of course.
 
Well I just started dating a lady, she's serious about me, wants me all to herself, me to be faithful, but she's seeing three other men pretty regularly, just FWB/sex with them tho; I'm liking it again, she said she wants this arrangement permanently with somone. Third such relationship now, I could see her being "the one" realistically too.:mrgreen:
 
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Islam scholar said:
If this is true about Westerners, then it is definitely proof that they need God, and are unfit to govern themselves as "individuals", as they fall prey to living like beasts and feral creatures, in slavery to nothing but their lusts and most adolescent whims.
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You're going to start trolling on your first day? This should end well.
 
Islam scholar said:
If this is true about Westerners, then it is definitely proof that they need God, and are unfit to govern themselves as "individuals", as they fall prey to living like beasts and feral creatures, in slavery to nothing but their lusts and most adolescent whims.
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Why yes, of course...some yahoo writes a fluff news piece on CNN and therefore it MUST be "true about Westerners".
Do you also believe that all Westerners are either cowboys or gangsters? After all, not too many years ago Hollywood was producing a lot of cowboy and gangster movies, right?

DO YOU EVEN LIVE HERE?
If you don't, maybe fix your own house and stop worrying about our house.
If there is one thing democracy did give us, it was the ability to make up our own minds about an issue.
CNN "sells stories" on television, just like every soap opera does, just like every sitcom does, just like every football game does.
If they can get enough eyeballs to watch the story, they make money. If they can't, they don't.

If there's maybe a few handfuls of couples that think cuckolding is healthy for their relationship, out of the hundred million couples in the entire country, there's not much the other couples can do about it, it's their business, not everyone else's.

You seem genuinely interested in sowing doubt and discord out of some misplaced sense of moral superiority and I am here to let you know, you have neither the morals nor the superiority to do so. You're just a hostile malcontent who watches television and cannot distinguish between TV and reality.
I had that problem for a little while when my children were young. I took the television away from them for a while.
That fixed the problem.
 
Oh wow, I gotta say, IDK, we will have to see if we can work long term, but I watched her (my new gf) do a cam show with another dude last night before our date, was wild!
 
markjs said:
After studying human sexuality for many years it has become inarguable to me that a cuckold relationship (in which the wife engages in sexual activity with a variety of men while her husband remains faithful) is most compatible with basic human evolutionary make up.
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It doesn't seem that would be logically possible. Given that in a tribe of 10 men and 10 women, if each of the women had sex with each of the men, then it would be impossible for any of the men to have been "faithful" to any 1 of the women.

So I'm curious why the individual who studied this reached such an odd conclusion.
 
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