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Have any of you disowned a gay child?

Checkerboard Strangler

Checkerboard Strangler

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Title says it all.
The question is aimed at parents.
Do you have any gay children, and if so, have you disconnected from them or disowned them in any way?
Have you cut off communications with them entirely, or say perhaps, did you refuse to attend their gay wedding, or did you cut off financial support or school tuition?
Anything along those lines.

We've already no doubt seen several discussion threads where gay people have discussed being cut off or disowned by their parents, so now I'd like to see if anyone from the parental side is willing to discuss their side of the issue.

MY own VIEWS are NOT as IMPORTANT, because as it turns out, both my kids are apparently hetero.
For the record, both of us would support/stand by either of our kids if they turned out to be gay, but they are hetero, so I am much more interested in hearing from those who do not share that view, watching the discussion develop between the other members.
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
Title says it all.
The question is aimed at parents.
Do you have any gay children, and if so, have you disconnected from them or disowned them in any way?
Have you cut off communications with them entirely, or say perhaps, did you refuse to attend their gay wedding, or did you cut off financial support or school tuition?
Anything along those lines.

We've already no doubt seen several discussion threads where gay people have discussed being cut off or disowned by their parents, so now I'd like to see if anyone from the parental side is willing to discuss their side of the issue.

MY own VIEWS are NOT as IMPORTANT, because as it turns out, both my kids are apparently hetero.
For the record, both of us would support/stand by either of our kids if they turned out to be gay, but they are hetero, so I am much more interested in hearing from those who do not share that view, watching the discussion develop between the other members.
Click to expand...

No. And I never would. My brother-in-law is gay and he's welcome in my home at any time. If either of my sons were gay, I'd still love them just as much.
 
I'd be surprised if anyone was willing to publicly admit this. Talk about fire and fury.
 
Since gay couples have been adopting children for decades now, maybe there are people here who had 2 gay parents and were disowned for being straight? Certainly a possibility these days.
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
Title says it all.
The question is aimed at parents.
Do you have any gay children, and if so, have you disconnected from them or disowned them in any way?
Have you cut off communications with them entirely, or say perhaps, did you refuse to attend their gay wedding, or did you cut off financial support or school tuition?
Anything along those lines.

We've already no doubt seen several discussion threads where gay people have discussed being cut off or disowned by their parents, so now I'd like to see if anyone from the parental side is willing to discuss their side of the issue.

MY own VIEWS are NOT as IMPORTANT, because as it turns out, both my kids are apparently hetero.
For the record, both of us would support/stand by either of our kids if they turned out to be gay, but they are hetero, so I am much more interested in hearing from those who do not share that view, watching the discussion develop between the other members.
Click to expand...

I have three kids, the gay one will get married in March.

I will be there.
 
X Factor said:
I'd be surprised if anyone was willing to publicly admit this. Talk about fire and fury.
Click to expand...

See? This is why it might be a dud thread...or it might become very active all of a sudden.
We have some members here who have extremely strong religious/moral views, so if they are also parents, this would be their big chance to stand up for their decision.
 
I disowned my gay children.

Although it was entirely unrelated to them being homosexual.

Its because they actually liked The Last Jedi.
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
Title says it all.
The question is aimed at parents.
Do you have any gay children, and if so, have you disconnected from them or disowned them in any way?
Have you cut off communications with them entirely, or say perhaps, did you refuse to attend their gay wedding, or did you cut off financial support or school tuition?
Anything along those lines.

We've already no doubt seen several discussion threads where gay people have discussed being cut off or disowned by their parents, so now I'd like to see if anyone from the parental side is willing to discuss their side of the issue.

MY own VIEWS are NOT as IMPORTANT, because as it turns out, both my kids are apparently hetero.
For the record, both of us would support/stand by either of our kids if they turned out to be gay, but they are hetero, so I am much more interested in hearing from those who do not share that view, watching the discussion develop between the other members.
Click to expand...

I have two children. Both too young to care about girls or boys. If either of them decide that they are gay I will not turn them away. Why? Because I don't care what kind of sex they have. As long as they're safe about it I'm all good. In my minds eye what kind of sex they have does not define them.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
Freedom is certainly not what it was once.
Click to expand...

There's never been unrestricted legal freedom to just abandon your child but that's because parents have a legal affirmative duty to their kids. Harsh criticism, as would no doubt occur, by itself is no impediment to freedom.
 
Kal'Stang said:
I have two children. Both too young to care about girls or boys. If either of them decide that they are gay I will not turn them away. Why? Because I don't care what kind of sex they have. As long as they're safe about it I'm all good. In my minds eye what kind of sex they have does not define them.
Click to expand...

Same as us ("Mr. and Mrs. Strangler") except our two kids are both adult kids now, and...as it turns out, they are both apparently hetero.
This is WHY I wanted to hear from parents of gay kids who have decided that they CANNOT be in their children's lives.
There is no shortage of very strong moral or religious views in this forum, certainly from people who say they would not tolerate a gay kid IF they DID have one, but I want to hear from people who DO have one, or more than one and are not keen on the idea.

This is their opportunity to rally round their non-rainbow flag, so to speak.
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
See? This is why it might be a dud thread...or it might become very active all of a sudden.
We have some members here who have extremely strong religious/moral views, so if they are also parents, this would be their big chance to stand up for their decision.
Click to expand...

Personally, I'd think such an action, or even just saying they would disown a gay child, would be indefensible.
 
truthatallcost said:
Since gay couples have been adopting children for decades now, maybe there are people here who had 2 gay parents and were disowned for being straight? Certainly a possibility these days.
Click to expand...

No it's not a "possibility these days". Having likely been judged at some point in their lives for a sexual orientation they had no control over, it would make zero sense for them to judge their child for being heterosexual. In fact, I'd bet most gay parents expect their children will be hetero.
 
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truthatallcost said:
Sure it's possible. Gays can't be bad parents too?
Click to expand...

I edited my post and filled out my answer more. I mean, I guess it's possible in the same way Sasquatch possibly exists but I feel pretty confident in saying that the instances would be so few as to be statistically not existent.
 
X Factor said:
There's never been unrestricted legal freedom to just abandon your child but that's because parents have a legal affirmative duty to their kids. Harsh criticism, as would no doubt occur, by itself is no impediment to freedom.
Click to expand...

We used to be able to kick our kids out and ignore them at age 18,,,,,is that over?
 
X Factor said:
I edited my post and filled out my answer more. I mean, I guess it's possible in the same way Sasquatch possibly exists but I feel pretty confident in saying that the instances would be so few as to be statistically not existent.
Click to expand...

I think I agree that gay couples would be less likely than straight ones to disown a child over sexual preference, but I also think kids raised by gay couples probably pick up on certain biases their parents may have against straight lifestyles, and that might factor into a child's sexual development.
 
Kal'Stang said:
Nope. I still plan to do this. But then again kicking them out at age 18 is not the same as disowning them.
Click to expand...

It is getting there....we started telling the kids when the oldest was maybe 13 that at 18 if they were still here then they needed to pay rent if they were not at university, so make a plan.

Apparently around here we were about the only ones, they all reported that their friends had never heard of such a thing generally.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
It is getting there....we started telling the kids when the oldest was maybe 13 that at 18 if they were still here then they needed to pay rent if they were not at university, so make a plan.

Apparently around here we were about the only ones, they all reported that their friends had never heard of such a thing generally.
Click to expand...

13? I started telling mine at age 8 because they were swearing up and down that they'd be living with me their entire lives.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
I have three kids, the gay one will get married in March.

I will be there.
Click to expand...

Good for you! You are the parent we should all aspire to be.

I, too, would stand by a gay child and want nothing more than their happiness. Homophobia is quickly becoming a thing of the past and it's about time. A friend of my daughter was married to her now wife over a year ago and I was thrilled she found someone she loves so much to share her life with.
 
Dragonfly said:
poor CHOICE of words perhaps? :thinking
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Meh, not really. Perhaps not fully fleshed out, but not a poor choice of words. I recognize the fact that a person can act gay or be gay. I'm of the opinion that the sexual act itself and even the feeling can be the result of both environmental and/or genetics. For instance a person may initially be heterosexually inclined but due to some trauma resulting from the actions of the opposite sex can push a person away from wanting to be near/with that opposite sex and as a result latch onto feelings of closeness, or love, with someone of the same sex due to that person caring for them. I also recognize the fact that some people just simply like to "buck the system" and will do whatever is taboo just to piss people off and/or get attention.

Like everything else in this world, not everything is black and white. There are many shades of grey in between. No matter the reason though its up to the individual and none of my business. In this case that includes my kids.
 
truthatallcost said:
Sure it's possible. Gays can't be bad parents too?
Click to expand...

Yeah of course it's possible in the depth at which humans can find to be stupid is endless.

I don't think it's all that common. I imagine the most common reason people would disown their gay child it's because they belong to a more cult-like religion. Perhaps there in politics and they are against gay marriage or something of that nature it always seems to be reputation.

I wouldn't think the reputation of a gay couple to raise a straight child would be at all shameful.

But I don't doubt it's happened. There are some nutty people out there.
 
X Factor said:
No it's not a "possibility these days". Having likely been judged at some point in their lives for a sexual orientation they had no control over, it would make zero sense for them to judge their child for being heterosexual. In fact, I'd bet most gay parents expect their children will be hetero.
Click to expand...

Never Say Never There are some crazy people that walk around on this planet with us.
 
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