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Have any of you disowned a gay child?

Checkerboard Strangler said:
Same as us ("Mr. and Mrs. Strangler") except our two kids are both adult kids now, and...as it turns out, they are both apparently hetero.
This is WHY I wanted to hear from parents of gay kids who have decided that they CANNOT be in their children's lives.
There is no shortage of very strong moral or religious views in this forum, certainly from people who say they would not tolerate a gay kid IF they DID have one, but I want to hear from people who DO have one, or more than one and are not keen on the idea.

This is their opportunity to rally round their non-rainbow flag, so to speak.
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I am a homosexual Son of heterosexual parents and though my parents are rather religious, they accepted it it was rough at first but they were committed to making it work. So was I.

My partner on the other hand was disowned by his parents. They belong to the Mormon faith. There are some things he won't tell me about it and I have learned more things about it at this point.

But as to what was going through the mind of his parents I can only guess if they even know. About 5 years back we connected with his grandparents they're not upset about that at all very nice people.

The best I can speculate is that time that I had with my parents where it was difficult to talk both parents and child we're either too angry to hurt or unwilling to work through it.
 
truthatallcost said:
Since gay couples have been adopting children for decades now, maybe there are people here who had 2 gay parents and were disowned for being straight? Certainly a possibility these days.
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:roll:
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
Title says it all.
The question is aimed at parents.
Do you have any gay children, and if so, have you disconnected from them or disowned them in any way?
Have you cut off communications with them entirely, or say perhaps, did you refuse to attend their gay wedding, or did you cut off financial support or school tuition?
Anything along those lines.

We've already no doubt seen several discussion threads where gay people have discussed being cut off or disowned by their parents, so now I'd like to see if anyone from the parental side is willing to discuss their side of the issue.

MY own VIEWS are NOT as IMPORTANT, because as it turns out, both my kids are apparently hetero.
For the record, both of us would support/stand by either of our kids if they turned out to be gay, but they are hetero, so I am much more interested in hearing from those who do not share that view, watching the discussion develop between the other members.
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Well, none neither of my two children are gay, but I am very familiar within family with a gay child. I have known the child since she was about 5 years old and is now 25. I have have no problems, and neither has her family.

From my perspective, I would only have a problem if the child had to flaunt their sexuality. I'm fine with the openness, and see no need to hide it, but I really dislike all those out their that think they have to make a point that they are gay. As if they need to be treated special or something.
 
CLAX1911 said:
Yeah of course it's possible in the depth at which humans can find to be stupid is endless.

I don't think it's all that common. I imagine the most common reason people would disown their gay child it's because they belong to a more cult-like religion. Perhaps there in politics and they are against gay marriage or something of that nature it always seems to be reputation.
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It's really lame imo. As a straight guy, yeah I'd want my kids to be heterosexual, for a variety of reasons. But I'd never disown them based on what other people thought about being gay, that's ridiculous, just bad parents.
I'd stick by my kids if they were gay 100%. That's the only decent thing to do.

I wouldn't think the reputation of a gay couple to raise a straight child would be at all shameful.

But I don't doubt it's happened. There are some nutty people out there.
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What about, do you think it's possible for same sex parents to impart their own lifestyle on their kids. I'll explain what I mean; I went to college with a girl who was raised by a lesbian couple. She told me that she feared men during her childhood, especially during adolescence, and that she felt it came from her parents, and because there were just no men in her life at all growing up. When I knew her, she told me she was bi, but I think she was still struggling with being completely comfortable with men, although she did open up a lot to me. She was very distant most of the time, then she'd share really deep things about herself. We weren't a couple though, just friends. I wanted to, but she never really reciprocated.
I lost contact with her, so I never knew how things turned out, if she stayed bi or became a lesbian. What do you think?
 
X Factor said:
Personally, I'd think such an action, or even just saying they would disown a gay child, would be indefensible.
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People disown family members for various reasons outside of sexual preference. I'm not trying to defend the "disowning," just pointing out it happens for other reasons too.

Now I probably would disown a friend, even family, if all they could do was talk about gayness, the same way I would if all someone could talk about was heterosexual sex.
 
truthatallcost said:
It's really lame imo. As a straight guy, yeah I'd want my kids to be heterosexual, for a variety of reasons. But I'd never disown them based on what other people thought about being gay, that's ridiculous, just bad parents.
I'd stick by my kids if they were gay 100%. That's the only decent thing to do.
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As a homosexual guy I'd prefer my kids to be straight makes life a lot easier. I don't know I really don't know why people would do that.

If I was a higher up in religion or a political movement and I had to disown my kid or lose my job or position I would happily walk away from any position regardless of what's going on with my kid. That's a parent's job.



What about, do you think it's possible for same sex parents to impart their own lifestyle on their kids.
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lifestyle? Like whether they like to watch TV or eat fried chicken we got everyone does that.

Is that what you meant do I think homosexuals would impart their sexual orientation on to their child no my parents couldn't. A child of a gay couple will probably question their sexuality a little more. But I would think that's only because they don't have to fear disappointing their parents.

I'll explain what I mean; I went to college with a girl who was raised by a lesbian couple. She told me that she feared men during her childhood, especially during adolescence, and that she felt it came from her parents, and because there were just no men in her life at all growing up. When I knew her, she told me she was bi, but I think she was still struggling with being completely comfortable with men, although she did open up a lot to me. She was very distant most of the time, then she'd share really deep things about herself. We weren't a couple though, just friends. I wanted to, but she never really reciprocated.
I lost contact with her, so I never knew how things turned out, if she stayed bi or became a lesbian. What do you think?
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What I think more likely is the case here is that her parents were prejudiced against men even if you're a lesbian couple there are going to be men around I have lesbian friends my Straight friends have lesbian friends. That's like growing up to not trusting Spanish people or believing that Jews are greedy. I don't even know if prejudice is the right word because someone who grew up in that environment did not have that intent they just didn't know any better.

As far as her being bi... I largely think bisexuality is a phase. It may not be for everyone but I think it is for a lot of people. And I say that is technically a bisexual man. (I have been with women but largely prefer men) to me that makes me homosexual.

But I digress.

There is also less research going into women's sexuality for whatever reason. Perhaps it's that people really don't care about lesbians I don't know. But I think social stigma is not as harsh for lesbians ( coming strictly from my observations) is it is on homosexual men. Then again there are a lot more issues surrounding homosexual men ( higher levels of promiscuity and so forth) so that might be why I don't know.

I've come across lesbians that are just like any other lady you'll ever meet I've come across lesbians and straight women that love hanging out with men over women and I've come across lesbians and straight women that I absolutely hate men.

Perhaps your friend was the daughter of one of the ladder types.
 
Lord of Planar said:
People disown family members for various reasons outside of sexual preference. I'm not trying to defend the "disowning," just pointing out it happens for other reasons too.
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absolutely, such as choosing the wrong religion that's a big one Amish people and Jehovah's Witnesses come to mind. Going into the wrong career field choosing not to be religious at all. Moving to different country.

Yeah sadly there's a lot of reasons people disown their children.

Now I probably would disown a friend, even family, if all they could do was talk about gayness, the same way I would if all someone could talk about was heterosexual sex.
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You disown a child because they're boring? I might get on to him and tell him hey you know there's other things in the world to talk about. But I certainly would disown someone over that.
 
Jetboogieman said:
I disowned my gay children.

Although it was entirely unrelated to them being homosexual.

Its because they actually liked The Last Jedi.
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Could have been worse, they could have liked Jar Jar
 
Never. Each and every time they were happy and gay I enjoyed it, and sometimes played with them.
Happy children make the world go round.
 
Quag said:
Still was better than Episode I if only because of the lack of Jar Jar
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I say it was better than episode one because of all the boring government crap one jar jar versus the stupid little teddy bear monsters. Meh... I don't think one little frog man poorly written lines is it stupid is the Care Bears attacking a mechanized in military force.

I was done after seeing that movie at that Point Star Wars was stupid to me. But my interest came back when they started making movies again
 
Lord of Planar said:
People disown family members for various reasons outside of sexual preference. I'm not trying to defend the "disowning," just pointing out it happens for other reasons too.

Now I probably would disown a friend, even family, if all they could do was talk about gayness, the same way I would if all someone could talk about was heterosexual sex.
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Kids often disown parents after childhood sexually abuse for example.
 
CLAX1911 said:
I am a homosexual Son of heterosexual parents and though my parents are rather religious, they accepted it it was rough at first but they were committed to making it work. So was I.

My partner on the other hand was disowned by his parents. They belong to the Mormon faith. There are some things he won't tell me about it and I have learned more things about it at this point.

But as to what was going through the mind of his parents I can only guess if they even know. About 5 years back we connected with his grandparents they're not upset about that at all very nice people.

The best I can speculate is that time that I had with my parents where it was difficult to talk both parents and child we're either too angry to hurt or unwilling to work through it.
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In my experience it tends to be generally "unwilling to do the work because family does not mean much to me, they are not worth the work and pain and aggravation".
 
CLAX1911 said:
I say it was better than episode one because of all the boring government crap one jar jar versus the stupid little teddy bear monsters. Meh... I don't think one little frog man poorly written lines is it stupid is the Care Bears attacking a mechanized in military force.

I was done after seeing that movie at that Point Star Wars was stupid to me. But my interest came back when they started making movies again
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As ridiculous as ewoks were I would rather see teddy bears in actions scenes than Jar Jar trying to give a speech to the republic
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
Title says it all.
The question is aimed at parents.
Do you have any gay children, and if so, have you disconnected from them or disowned them in any way?
Have you cut off communications with them entirely, or say perhaps, did you refuse to attend their gay wedding, or did you cut off financial support or school tuition?
Anything along those lines.

We've already no doubt seen several discussion threads where gay people have discussed being cut off or disowned by their parents, so now I'd like to see if anyone from the parental side is willing to discuss their side of the issue.

MY own VIEWS are NOT as IMPORTANT, because as it turns out, both my kids are apparently hetero.
For the record, both of us would support/stand by either of our kids if they turned out to be gay, but they are hetero, so I am much more interested in hearing from those who do not share that view, watching the discussion develop between the other members.
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Well, my parents didn't disown me when I came out. I did have my problems, though, but we're way past that point now. I still have family that won't accept it, but I don't give a ****. That's not my problem, that's theirs.
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
Title says it all.
The question is aimed at parents.
Do you have any gay children, and if so, have you disconnected from them or disowned them in any way?
Have you cut off communications with them entirely, or say perhaps, did you refuse to attend their gay wedding, or did you cut off financial support or school tuition?
Anything along those lines.

We've already no doubt seen several discussion threads where gay people have discussed being cut off or disowned by their parents, so now I'd like to see if anyone from the parental side is willing to discuss their side of the issue.

MY own VIEWS are NOT as IMPORTANT, because as it turns out, both my kids are apparently hetero.
For the record, both of us would support/stand by either of our kids if they turned out to be gay, but they are hetero, so I am much more interested in hearing from those who do not share that view, watching the discussion develop between the other members.
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My oldest daughter has been in a same sex relationship for 25 years. They have two children by donor. We are all happy and disowning has never entered my thoughts.
 
HowardBThiname said:
Good for you! You are the parent we should all aspire to be.

I, too, would stand by a gay child and want nothing more than their happiness. Homophobia is quickly becoming a thing of the past and it's about time. A friend of my daughter was married to her now wife over a year ago and I was thrilled she found someone she loves so much to share her life with.
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My daughter and her partner claim not to be gay. They just love each other. They don't find other women or men attractive. They don't have what you would call a typical lesbian lifestyle.
 
Checkerboard Strangler said:
Title says it all.
The question is aimed at parents.
Do you have any gay children, and if so, have you disconnected from them or disowned them in any way?
Have you cut off communications with them entirely, or say perhaps, did you refuse to attend their gay wedding, or did you cut off financial support or school tuition?
Anything along those lines.

We've already no doubt seen several discussion threads where gay people have discussed being cut off or disowned by their parents, so now I'd like to see if anyone from the parental side is willing to discuss their side of the issue.

MY own VIEWS are NOT as IMPORTANT, because as it turns out, both my kids are apparently hetero.
For the record, both of us would support/stand by either of our kids if they turned out to be gay, but they are hetero, so I am much more interested in hearing from those who do not share that view, watching the discussion develop between the other members.
Click to expand...

I have a lesbian cousin who is not allowed at family gatherings unless she brings pastries. She bakes the best pastries. I particularly enjoy her steamed sweet rolls filled with sour cherry preserves. Thanks for reminding me to give her an invite for dinner. It's been about a 2 months since she last broke bread here. She brought terrific apricot rugelah on that visit.
 
Jetboogieman said:
I disowned my gay children.

Although it was entirely unrelated to them being homosexual.

Its because they actually liked The Last Jedi.
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OMG that was damn funny.

Did you ever George Takei's video about the Star Wars vs. Star Trek rivalry?

 
It is a little early to tell with my sons but there is nothing that would make me disown them. They are the only two people on this planet for whom my love is unconditional.

But religion can make people do weird things. When I became a born-again-Christian in my early 20s I did break off my friendships with 2 gay friends. Years later when I came back to reality I tried to mend fences. One is still my friend and while the other said he forgave me, our friendship was never able to recover. It is one of my biggest regrets in life.

But even if I were still in that fundamentalist mindset I find it unlikely I would disown my children. I probably would have just wasted a lot of time praying for their souls.
 
X Factor said:
I edited my post and filled out my answer more. I mean, I guess it's possible in the same way Sasquatch possibly exists but I feel pretty confident in saying that the instances would be so few as to be statistically not existent.
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Oh trust me, gay people can totally be horrible parents, in many of the same ways hetero parents can be.
But that's the point, there are almost no perfect parents, or even "near-perfect", because all parenting is an almost impossible job, right? We just do our best, so in that respect, gay parents will also "do their best", with all the expected good and bad just like straight parents.
Hell, now that I think about it, "The Bird Cage" was such a damn funny movie because it felt so real.
A wonderful son who wanted to marry a wonderful girl but his two gay parents, who loved him very much, were basket cases, and to some extent, so was the son, over the impending marriage, and of course so were the two straight parents.

 
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