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Where Is The Line?

TheGoverness

TheGoverness

Little Miss Sunshine
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There seem to be a few people on here that are concerned with where the 'line' is drawn in regards to innapropiate sexual behavior. So I, TheGoverness, will be helping you all today in understanding what exactly constitutes innapropiate sexual behavior towards women. This is not a difficult concept to grasp. It's pretty easy, actually. If you are concerned with where the lines are drawn when it comes to women, how about this: don't try to touch a women in any sexual manner without prior consent. Simple as that. The line is very much clear and defined. That means that don't try to jump out of the shower naked trying to come onto a woman, and think that's appropriate behavior. Hint: it's not.

Did you write all of that down? I hope you did.

If you are still confused where the line is by this point, please seek medical treatment.
 
TheGoverness said:
There seem to be a few people on here that are concerned with where the 'line' is drawn in regards to innapropiate sexual behavior. So I, TheGoverness, will be helping you all today in understanding what exactly constitutes innapropiate sexual behavior towards women. This is not a difficult concept to grasp. It's pretty easy, actually. If you are concerned with where the lines are drawn when it comes to women, how about this: don't try to touch a women in any sexual manner without prior consent. Simple as that. The line is very much clear and defined. That means that don't try to jump out of the shower naked trying to come onto a woman, and think that's appropriate behavior. Hint: it's not.

Did you write all of that down? I hope you did.

If you are still confused where the line is by this point, please seek medical treatment.
Click to expand...
Wait, wait, wait...you're saying that exposing yourself to a woman without her consent and/or touching her in the places we teach five year olds not to touch each other constitutes inappropriate sexual behavior towards women? Seriously?

Do you have a Powerpoint on this or something? I'm not certain we all can remember this...
 
Slyfox696 said:
Wait, wait, wait...you're saying that exposing yourself to a woman without her consent and/or touching her in the places we teach five year olds not to touch each other constitutes inappropriate sexual behavior towards women? Seriously?

Do you have a Powerpoint on this or something? I'm not certain we all can remember this...
Click to expand...

I have flash cards if you need them. ;)
 
TheGoverness said:
There seem to be a few people on here that are concerned with where the 'line' is drawn in regards to innapropiate sexual behavior. So I, TheGoverness, will be helping you all today in understanding what exactly constitutes innapropiate sexual behavior towards women. This is not a difficult concept to grasp. It's pretty easy, actually. If you are concerned with where the lines are drawn when it comes to women, how about this: don't try to touch a women in any sexual manner without prior consent. Simple as that. The line is very much clear and defined. That means that don't try to jump out of the shower naked trying to come onto a woman, and think that's appropriate behavior. Hint: it's not.

Did you write all of that down? I hope you did.

If you are still confused where the line is by this point, please seek medical treatment.
Click to expand...

It’s not a really ez line to draw. Of course, what YOU say is easy to define. But the rest of inappropriate touching isn’t so easy. I think that is best drawn by each woman or girl. And that, unfortunately, takes a strength of character many women lack. Girls are taught to be polite. Not to make scenes. That plays directly into the hands of those who would exploit them.
 
Looks like I'm going to have to cross that jumping out of the shower naked ploy off the list. Damn. Why don't we start a list of things we are allowed to do? What about the zucchini thing? Can we do that, at least?
 
TheGoverness said:
There seem to be a few people on here that are concerned with where the 'line' is drawn in regards to innapropiate sexual behavior. So I, TheGoverness, will be helping you all today in understanding what exactly constitutes innapropiate sexual behavior towards women. This is not a difficult concept to grasp. It's pretty easy, actually. If you are concerned with where the lines are drawn when it comes to women, how about this: don't try to touch a women in any sexual manner without prior consent. Simple as that. The line is very much clear and defined. That means that don't try to jump out of the shower naked trying to come onto a woman, and think that's appropriate behavior. Hint: it's not.

Did you write all of that down? I hope you did.

If you are still confused where the line is by this point, please seek medical treatment.
Click to expand...

Here it is : _________
 
humbolt said:
Looks like I'm going to have to cross that jumping out of the shower naked ploy off the list. Damn. Why don't we start a list of things we are allowed to do? What about the zucchini thing? Can we do that, at least?
Click to expand...

Wise decision re shower thingie. Re the zucchini thing. Don’t know what that is, but... just no.
 
MaggieD said:
It’s not a really ez line to draw. Of course, what YOU say is easy to define. But the rest of inappropriate touching isn’t so easy. I think that is best drawn by each woman or girl. And that, unfortunately, takes a strength of character many women lack. Girls are taught to be polite. Not to make scenes. That plays directly into the hands of those who would exploit them.
Click to expand...

Point noted.
 
TheGoverness said:
It's pretty easy, actually. If you are concerned with where the lines are drawn when it comes to women, how about this: don't try to touch a women in any sexual manner without prior consent. Simple as that. The line is very much clear and defined.
Click to expand...

So what about the 80/20 rule? Am I allowed to lean in for a kiss so long as I let her come the last 20% of the way toward me?

Does the small of the back count as a sexual manner?

What if I ask for consent and it's given, but the person I asked was a subordinate who might only be saying yes because she's worried about repercussions if she doesn't?

I'm really not trying to criticize here, it just seems like there are somewhat further gray areas that need to be considered.

Is it okay to hit on a woman? How obvious does it have to be she doesn't like it before it becomes harassment?

Will women agree to stop playing hard to get going forward so there is less confusion?
 
MrWonka said:
So what about the 80/20 rule? Am I allowed to lean in for a kiss so long as I let her come the last 20% of the way toward me?

Does the small of the back count as a sexual manner?

What if I ask for consent and it's given, but the person I asked was a subordinate who might only be saying yes because she's worried about repercussions if she doesn't?

I'm really not trying to criticize here, it just seems like there are somewhat further gray areas that need to be considered.

Is it okay to hit on a woman? How obvious does it have to be she doesn't like it before it becomes harassment?

Will women agree to stop playing hard to get going forward so there is less confusion?
Click to expand...

Dating subordinates is generally becoming taboo in the business world and can lead to dismissal for just those reasons. A lot of business try to prohibit relationships in the same office due to the potential issues that can and often do arise from them. They can and do transfer people to different offices in such cases.

Hitting on a woman is ok in certain situations, a known pickup place (ie night club ) but requires judgement on how long it continues. If she says no, take it as such.
Gyms and stores, talk to the woman first, before saying how would you like to jump on my pogo stick or can I have your number I lost mine
 
MrWonka said:
So what about the 80/20 rule? Am I allowed to lean in for a kiss so long as I let her come the last 20% of the way toward me?
Click to expand...

I would just say, if you are trying to lean in and kiss a woman, give them time to back away. I had an awkward incident a while back where I didn't get enough time to back away.

Does the small of the back count as a sexual manner?
Click to expand...

Depends on the intent.

What if I ask for consent and it's given, but the person I asked was a subordinate who might only be saying yes because she's worried about repercussions if she doesn't?
Click to expand...

Well that sounds like coercion to me, and that is not okay behavior in my eyes.

I'm really not trying to criticize here, it just seems like there are somewhat further gray areas that need to be considered.
Click to expand...

Sure, there are gray areas. A lot of consent is non-verbal, so that does factor into that.

Is it okay to hit on a woman? How obvious does it have to be she doesn't like it before it becomes harassment?
Click to expand...

I say it's okay initially, in the appropriate settings, but if a woman wants you to stop and you keep doing it, then that is innapropiate.

Will women agree to stop playing hard to get going forward so there is less confusion?
Click to expand...

Not every woman plays hard to get.
 
MrWonka said:
So what about the 80/20 rule? Am I allowed to lean in for a kiss so long as I let her come the last 20% of the way toward me?

Does the small of the back count as a sexual manner?

What if I ask for consent and it's given, but the person I asked was a subordinate who might only be saying yes because she's worried about repercussions if she doesn't?

I'm really not trying to criticize here, it just seems like there are somewhat further gray areas that need to be considered.

Is it okay to hit on a woman? How obvious does it have to be she doesn't like it before it becomes harassment?

Will women agree to stop playing hard to get going forward so there is less confusion?
Click to expand...

Just download the sexual protocol contract off the internet and get it signed. Easy peasy!
 
TheGoverness said:
There seem to be a few people on here that are concerned with where the 'line' is drawn in regards to innapropiate sexual behavior. So I, TheGoverness, will be helping you all today in understanding what exactly constitutes innapropiate sexual behavior towards women. This is not a difficult concept to grasp. It's pretty easy, actually. If you are concerned with where the lines are drawn when it comes to women, how about this: don't try to touch a women in any sexual manner without prior consent. Simple as that. The line is very much clear and defined. That means that don't try to jump out of the shower naked trying to come onto a woman, and think that's appropriate behavior. Hint: it's not.

Did you write all of that down? I hope you did.

If you are still confused where the line is by this point, please seek medical treatment.
Click to expand...

Thank you very much.

Browsing last week's The Economist I saw a survey they had done to get a grip on this very question. It turned out that there are large differences between nations and sexes and age groups as to what was thought on average to be or not to be sexual harassment. What I found interesting is that that the young tended to be more prudish and seemed to have reverted to what I would have ecpected from my grandparents' generation.
 
MaggieD said:
Just download the sexual protocol contract off the internet and get it signed. Easy peasy!
Click to expand...

I like your practicle 'let's get it done' approach. I'm just not sure, when to pop the question.
;)
 
Lord Tammerlain said:
Dating subordinates is generally becoming taboo in the business world and can lead to dismissal for just those reasons. A lot of business try to prohibit relationships in the same office due to the potential issues that can and often do arise from them. They can and do transfer people to different offices in such cases.

Hitting on a woman is ok in certain situations, a known pickup place (ie night club ) but requires judgement on how long it continues. If she says no, take it as such.
Gyms and stores, talk to the woman first, before saying how would you like to jump on my pogo stick or can I have your number I lost mine
Click to expand...

Dating? God forbid! I wouldn't even ask an employee into my office for a confidential exchange without a witness or a video. The risk is too great.
 
joG said:
I found interesting is that that the young tended to be more prudish and seemed to have reverted to what I would have ecpected from my grandparents' generation.
Click to expand...

I think that's largely due to your perceptions of your grandparents not reality. As much as it might weird you out to think about these things your grandparents were young once too. Your grandmother likely grew up in a time where women weren't even allowed to vote much less have much of a say in relationships.

Furthermore, while deeply religious people like to claim superior morality the reality is that religions like Christianity taught the broad power of a man over a woman. Many women were taught to be thrilled that any man whatsoever wanted to court them. If there were multiple suitors it was a smuch the decision of the girls father as it was the girls herself on who to choose.

Modern women aren't prudish, they just have more respect for themselves, and have fought to obtain more control over their own lives. It's something they always should have had.
 
TheGoverness said:
There seem to be a few people on here that are concerned with where the 'line' is drawn in regards to innapropiate sexual behavior. So I, TheGoverness, will be helping you all today in understanding what exactly constitutes innapropiate sexual behavior towards women. This is not a difficult concept to grasp. It's pretty easy, actually. If you are concerned with where the lines are drawn when it comes to women, how about this: don't try to touch a women in any sexual manner without prior consent. Simple as that. The line is very much clear and defined. That means that don't try to jump out of the shower naked trying to come onto a woman, and think that's appropriate behavior. Hint: it's not.

Did you write all of that down? I hope you did.

If you are still confused where the line is by this point, please seek medical treatment.
Click to expand...




What if it's my house. Do I have a right to be clothed in a manner or lack thereof of my choosing? (playing devils advocate here).
 
TheGoverness said:
There seem to be a few people on here that are concerned with where the 'line' is drawn in regards to innapropiate sexual behavior. So I, TheGoverness, will be helping you all today in understanding what exactly constitutes innapropiate sexual behavior towards women. This is not a difficult concept to grasp. It's pretty easy, actually. If you are concerned with where the lines are drawn when it comes to women, how about this: don't try to touch a women in any sexual manner without prior consent. Simple as that. The line is very much clear and defined. That means that don't try to jump out of the shower naked trying to come onto a woman, and think that's appropriate behavior. Hint: it's not.

Did you write all of that down? I hope you did.

If you are still confused where the line is by this point, please seek medical treatment.
Click to expand...






Must prior consent be verbal?
 
TheGoverness said:
I would just say, if you are trying to lean in and kiss a woman, give them time to back away. I had an awkward incident a while back where I didn't get enough time to back away.
Click to expand...
And I bet you were the bitch for saying no, weren't you (at least in his eyes)?
 
ReverendHellh0und said:
What if it's my house. Do I have a right to be clothed in a manner or lack thereof of my choosing? (playing devils advocate here).
Click to expand...

Yes and no

Do you also have invited guests in the house? Especially those below the age of 18. Rocking out with your rooster out, swinging it in front of said guests could be considered improper behavior. But if it was a request by said guests go all for it. If it is the hot babysitter who is 16, I would wait until she is gone
 
MaggieD said:
Just download the sexual protocol contract off the internet and get it signed. Easy peasy!
Click to expand...

Yes, and have the contract countersigned by at least three witnesses at least one of whom must have a Masters In Gender Interrelationships.
 
ReverendHellh0und said:
What if it's my house. Do I have a right to be clothed in a manner or lack thereof of my choosing? (playing devils advocate here).
Click to expand...

Dunno. The closest thing I know of are laws that make it illegal to intentionally expose yourself to people outside your home while you're inside. You apparently can't stand in front of your your living room bay window with your johnson swinging in the breeze. I'm gonna guess - but it's only a guess - that same applies with people inside your house.
 
A note to woman and men

If after the bar and drinking you go home with another person (potential romantic partner) expect that the other person is likely to engage in potential inappropriate touching as that is the likely reason for the invitation to that persons home. If that is not the outcome you want be proactive and say it is just for drinking nothing else as to ward of such behavior before it starts.
 
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