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Describe this behavior and identify your age group[W:49]

Do you think the described action is? (age based)

  • (Age 35 below) Normal, common and Appropriate as described

    Votes: 17 37.8%

  • (Age 36 and up) Normal, common and Appropriate as described

    Votes: 26 57.8%

  • (Age 35 below) Bad behavior, uncommon and inappropriate

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • (Age 36 and up) Bad behavior, uncommon and inappropriate

    Votes: 2 4.4%
  • Total voters
    45
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Captain Adverse said:
I selected the second option. (Age 36 and up) Normal, common and Appropriate as described.

I would say the same were I under 35, simply because I've been in various positions to observe teenaged and young adult interactions after aged 35, at least prior to the last decade.

Personal experience and my subsequent observations of other's indicates that the onus (with few exceptions) is still on the male to make the first move.

Yet there is no school except the school of experience for a male to learn from.

Meanwhile, each girl simply assumes the male KNOWS (or should know) how to interpret her subtle clues as to what she wants and doesn't want.

IMO some young people today are buying into a lot of third wave feminist misinformation.

They seem to think love and attraction is something to be discussed in depth, as if preparing some kind of contract, before anything is expected to occur.

Yet you can't dictate love and attraction, what someone finds desirable or undesirable. People literally observe, make assumptions, then act hoping for the best.

Asserting that a male playing the role nature and nurture have dictated when trying to engage with a female is equivalent to sexual assault in every case when "permission is not asked first" is being disingenuous IMO.

Anyone else ever heard a girl say "If you have to ask, then the answer is no!" Think about it. :twocents:
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It's been a long time since I thought about this. I have always found that enough women made their passes on me. But I never felt badly about it.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

AGENT J said:
I doubt it governess seems pretty perceptive and level to me. She reads the other thread shell know im just curious to see if the majority (including her) have it wrong in that other thread.

Is making a move all of a sudden bad behavior and somethign only "oldtimers" do based on lack of respect for people . . . i dont see it that way at all . . buuuuuuut . . maybe im missing something maybe its just not here in the northeast states or its still a 20s and under thing that i may not know about.
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Someone born in 1981 is an "oldtimer" now... ouch
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Redress said:
Not surprisingly, your poll options do not really cover what I think. I am over 35. I think it is uncool and kinda a dick move. I do not think it is that uncommon because reading social and relationship situations is not exactly easy, and it is very easy to misread things into what you want to read kinda thing.

By the way, "normal" and "bad behavior" are not opposites, and are not even the same kinda thing. It is like you are asking if a car is old, or a sportscar. It is entirely possible for it to be both normal, and bad behavior.
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Hmm... Does this "it could be both" make it a coin toss?

If that were the case then we could expect a similar result to a coin toss in the poll results unless we assume that (every?)one stops looking for options to select when they find the first one that fits.

I view a first kiss as an offer of more intimate affection which can be either accepted or rejected. It is still up to the recipient of the offer to either accept or reject it for whatever reason - so long as that is the case I find it hard to call the offer bad behavior.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Redress said:
Well that is ****ing stupid. Clue: "first move" is not the same thing as "kiss".
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That is a good point, but the OP never implied a "kiss at first sight" situation.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Lots of threads about kissing lately. I hope it stops at kissing, if it goes further the site will have to post warnings about about safe sex and asking people who post here to wear a condom, etc. ;)
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

I think it's an interesting poll (although I think some people won't be able to choose an option at all because they might not agree with the entire line as it's written). We heard last night that anyone under 40 would/should agree that that situation was aggressive, inappropriate and not at all how guys are these days. Yet we sit here this morning with no one under or over 40 saying it was inappropriate.

I don't think this poll was a bad move. When someone makes a strange claim like that, I think it's fun to test it out and poll the forum to see what they think.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Redress said:
Not surprisingly, your poll options do not really cover what I think. I am over 35. I think it is uncool and kinda a dick move. I do not think it is that uncommon because reading social and relationship situations is not exactly easy, and it is very easy to misread things into what you want to read kinda thing.

By the way, "normal" and "bad behavior" are not opposites, and are not even the same kinda thing. It is like you are asking if a car is old, or a sportscar. It is entirely possible for it to be both normal, and bad behavior.
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the poll is actually perfect because it spawned from a debate over whether the action was Normal, common and Appropriate or Bad behavior, uncommon and inappropriate.

of course you can have other feelings on the matter, im sure many do. I also agree 100% something common can indeed still be bad behavior but thats not what im asking nor is it relevant to the info im interested in gathering for my poll. if it was just a random poll i would agree more choices would/should be available.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Josie said:
I think it's an interesting poll (although I think some people won't be able to choose an option at all because they might not agree with the entire line as it's written). We heard last night that anyone under 40 would/should agree that that situation was aggressive, inappropriate and not at all how guys are these days. Yet we sit here this morning with no one under or over 40 saying it was inappropriate.

I don't think this poll was a bad move. When someone makes a strange claim like that, I think it's fun to test it out and poll the forum to see what they think.
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I agree, somebody was very adamant about something and typically IMO that poster isnt wrong or way out in left field so i was curious and had to find out. I wanted to see because i guess the reality is what they were claiming could be common outside the northeast states. I find that highly unlikely but it could be so why not explorer it and educate myself further on it than just my experience
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Redress said:
Are you that unfamiliar with his posting style?
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Yeah, it's not very much different from yours. :roll:
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Jesse Booth said:
Shame is for the weak! Also, I'm ditching all you old-schoolers, this thread is lame. Later, losers!

*the cool flippy thing with a skateboard*
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:lol:
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

AGENT J said:
I agree, somebody was very adamant about something and typically IMO that poster isnt wrong or way out in left field so i was curious and had to find out. I wanted to see because i guess the reality is what they were claiming could be common outside the northeast states. I find that highly unlikely but it could be so why not explorer it and educate myself further on it than just my experience
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Nothing wrong with this thread. Sometimes one thinks they ARE out of touch with new norms. And sometimes I am. I like that you separated voting by age group because the response you're testing is whether or not man-woman or boy-girl relationship interaction has changed over the years. And most of us older members know that it has. Just not in this particular way.

My immediate reaction on that thread was that we all wanted this guy's complete name, address and Social Security Number so we could run a background check and hire Goshin or Turtle as a chaperone for The Governess for the rest of her college days. She's one of our littlest off experiencing the big wide world for the first time. But I thought that "funny" response would be less than helpful.

If many of us had wings, she'd be under one of them. Smart cookie she is. Came to the right conclusion all by her lonesome. She'll rock it just fine.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Jesse Booth said:
Man, TheGoverness is going to be disappointed in our autistic screeching when she logs back on this afternoon...
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Eh, it's whatever. Though I never expected my thread to blow up as much as it did.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

MaggieD said:
Nothing wrong with this thread. Sometimes one thinks they ARE out of touch with new norms. And sometimes I am. I like that you separated voting by age group because the response you're testing is whether or not man-woman or boy-girl relationship interaction has changed over the years. And most of us older members know that it has. Just not in this particular way.

My immediate reaction on that thread was that we all wanted this guy's complete name, address and Social Security Number so we could run a background check and hire Goshin or Turtle as a chaperone for The Governess for the rest of her college days. She's one of our littlest off experiencing the big wide world for the first time. But I thought that "funny" response would be less than helpful.

If many of us had wings, she'd be under one of them. Smart cookie she is. Came to the right conclusion all by her lonesome. She'll rock it just fine.
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LOL nice maggie!

Totally agreed
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

TheGoverness said:
Eh, it's whatever. Though I never expected my thread to blow up as much as it did.
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Thats good, woulda felt bad otherwise and quickly apologized because my poll wasnt really about you at all just the opinion somebody else presented :mrgreen:
I dont think it would of blown up at all if somebody didnt insist its :

- bad behavior
- for only old timers from a crappier time think this is normal
- its not the world we live in anymore
- its not even remotely normal.
- something that people sub 40s basically know better

Those were VERY tall order statements that people found shocking, unbelievable and even silly so people NEEDED to know more lol

but now it seems they arent true at all and theres no support for them.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

AGENT J said:
Thats good, woulda felt bad otherwise and quickly apologized because my poll wasnt really about you at all just the opinion somebody else presented :mrgreen:
I dont think it would of blown up at all if somebody didnt insist its :

- bad behavior
- for only old timers from a crappier time think this is normal
- its not the world we live in anymore
- its not even remotely normal.
- something that people sub 40s basically know better

Those were VERY tall order statements that people found shocking, unbelievable and even silly so people NEEDED to know more lol

but now it seems they arent true at all and theres no support for them.
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You would have had no reason to possibly feel bad if you had PM'd her first. You could have even included a statement in your OP about doing so. I kind of think it was a dick move, myself, for you to use HER situation for YOUR purposes.

In any case, I'm an old timer and I went with number 4 in your poll. I don't know...maybe I just have more consideration for other people, dislike pushing myself upon them physically or using them.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Mycroft said:
1.)You would have had no reason to possibly feel bad if you had PM'd her first. You could have even included a statement in your OP about doing so. I kind of think it was a dick move, myself, for you to use HER situation for YOUR purposes.

2.)In any case, I'm an old timer and I went with number 4 in your poll. I don't know...maybe I just have more consideration for other people, dislike pushing myself upon them physically or using them.
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1.) aww thats cute, you think your opinion matters, it doesnt. Actually makes me feel even better about it.
2.) awesome even more positive reinforcement of my thoughts and the majority of peoples thoughts on the subject.
Thanks for making my morning!! LOL
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

AGENT J said:
1.) aww thats cute, you think your opinion matters, it doesnt. Actually makes me feel even better about it.
2.) awesome even more positive reinforcement of my thoughts and the majority of peoples thoughts on the subject.
Thanks for making my morning!! LOL
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You're welcome.

1. Well, your sarcastic remark certainly reinforces my judgment about your dick move.

2. Cool. But it seems to have escaped you that my response to your poll also applies to YOUR move.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Mycroft said:
You're welcome.

1. Well, your sarcastic remark certainly reinforces my judgment about your dick move.

2. Cool. But it seems to have escaped you that my response to your poll also applies to YOUR move.
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1.) wrong, it wasnt sarcastic it was 100% honest and sincere
2.) wrong again lmao the fact that it didnt escape me is exactly way it gave me evermore positive re-enforcement about my thoughts and the majority of peoples on the subject.
Try to read what is actually written instead of making things up.

Not that i want you too because its hilarious but maybe quit while your behind because the amount of butt hurt in your posts and desperation to make the the thread about me is showing to all.
Thanks again for making my morning!
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

SenorXm/Sirius said:
Lots of threads about kissing lately. I hope it stops at kissing, if it goes further the site will have to post warnings about about safe sex and asking people who post here to wear a condom, etc. ;)
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Relax, I already make sure to have a condom on whenever I log on.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

AGENT J said:
1.) wrong, it wasnt sarcastic it was 100% honest and sincere
2.) wrong again lmao the fact that it didnt escape me is exactly way it gave me evermore positive re-enforcement about my thoughts and the majority of peoples on the subject.
Try to read what is actually written instead of making things up.

Not that i want you too because its hilarious but maybe quit while your behind because the amount of butt hurt in your posts and desperation to make the the thread about me is showing to all.
Thanks again for making my morning!
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Okay. I'm sure you feel better when you lie to yourself. Have fun with that.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Mycroft said:
Okay. I'm sure you feel better when you lie to yourself. Have fun with that.
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LOL and the desperation and butthurt in your posts continues. Do you have anything on topic?
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

The first move is asking someone out on a date. Not kissing them.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

Moderator's Warning:
Let's chill the baiting and personal comments. Y'all are not the topic of the thread.

Moderation is still possible on posts made before this warning.
 
Re: Describe this behavior and identify your age group

So I brought this up at work today since i was still so curious about it and nobody thought it was not normal, bad behavior or inappropriate. One person said for older people that is probably fast but not for younger people. They were actually curious like me where i even came up with such an idea. BUT that was among the main workers . . probably mostly 35-50 . . . so I want to be sure.

Next i hit up the interns and temps, this group was important to me because they range from 20-28 but IMO even more importation half of the 10 are girls. Results? they practically laughed at me lol and again wonder why i would ever even ask the question and think the answer was going to be anything else than normal behavior. So again this is just a story of mine with no real proof but just like the majority in the other thread and the vast majority here. the behavior is normal and NOT inappropriate.
 
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